I would like to make a suggestion for a forum that lends it's attention to the positives of ADD rather than always containing threads started by some sort of problem that ADD has caused. It is great to get positive responses to negative problems, but it would also be nice to hear the good things that others have experienced from their ADD, whether that be a hightened quality that helps them in some way, something that they've found to really help them overcome something, someone's story of accomplishment and triumph over some ADD characteristic, etc.

ADD causes a lot of problems in our lives. We know that already, we all experience it, and the forums are full of the depths of despair that fellow ADDers suffer. We even have forums on here where Non-ADD spouses can come and complain about their ADD spouse and seek comfort and help. I realize that all of that is needed, but why does everything have to start of with negativity? Let's get some place here where we can get some positive stories.

Myself, I'm new to all of this. I've read the symptoms and characteristics of ADD, listened to books on mp3 about the disorder, lived it for 30+ years, grew up with a father that appear to have the disorder (or just be the biggest jerk alive), etc. I've beaten myself up about every little thing I've ever done "wrong", even if it means just doing it imperfectly. My ADD life has been all about negativity. Just a couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with ADD, and I know the negatives, as do most of us, so let's get to the positives and inspire people to reach out for great things rather than just overcoming their day to day problems. Surely there are people out there that have great qualities that are derived from their ADD mind. Surely there are people out there that have beaten back their ADD traits, that have overcome huge obstacles, that have succeeded in making a happy life for themself. I'd like to get a look into those happy lives, rather than wallowing in everyone else's misery.

So, I think it would be a good idea to have some sort of forum based on success stories, inspiration, and overall positive comments and threads. I think it would help some of us have something to look to other than our problems and those of others.

Thanks Mike!

Great idea Mike!!!

Hey Mike!

I think the majority of the medications have a sticky regarding the specific medications success.

If people were to start "success" threads then we could look at stickying them at the top of the various forums.

I've not yet "officially" been diagnosed with ADD, though I am in the process of finding a psychiatrist who can do the testing. Every book, article, and pamphlet I've read about it makes me more and more certain that I have it though.

For the past 18 years I have been riding and working with horses, and I think that some of the attributes of ADD can actually be a GOOD thing when working around them. I may be easily distracted or have difficulty prioritizing my work, but that has sometimes led me to be the first person to notice when a horse is injured or sick and it was able to be treated before it got worse.

I also volunteer with my church's video production team as one of the director's/video mixers. It involves having to keep an eye on several TV monitors at the same time, call out camera shots and fade-in song lyrics, PowerPoint slides, and video clips. Since it always seems like my mind is playing three or four simultaneous channels anyway, now all of those "channels" have something to focus on.

I just wish I could do as well at my REAL job.

I see your point meadd, but...

For me, the good thing about a sunshine forum all to itself would be, that that would make it like "a box" I could dive into without having to deal with all the rest.
Not even see the titles of potentially negative threads - just the "I WIN!!!"
Because it's difficult for me to sift out the bad stuff on the days were I'm already a bit moody, and "prefab boundaries" in ADDFORUMS would support me in doing that.

I'm not the biggest fan on stickies and bumping, they tend to annoy me a bit, but I have to say that no matter, I'll stay on these fora, I feel so safe and understood here.

mADD Mike: I think it's a kickass idea, no less, and I hope they'll do it! :)

Please forgive me but I don't see that working. From what I have read, everyone has good days and bad days. I think that is what you are going to end up with, a thread where people report to having a good day. Next you’ll have a thread where people report having a bad day.

This board seems to work pretty well just as it is. The balance is very good. Isn't it true that most of the 'negative' stuff is coming from the original poster because that person is sharing and hoping for some support and encouragement. And most of the positive stuff comes in the way of replies to the original post. Add to that people posting in General Chat, it’s all a matter of balance. And I think this board has it.

I don’t know about the rest of you but when I came here I was pretty down and upset and a lot of what I read seemed like ‘bad news’ but I figured out that that was more to do with how I was feeling than it had to do with what was actually going on in the board.

I think if the people who think it is all so negative just gave it a chance, they would begin to feel much better and then may be able to see the board for what it is - A place for people struggling to cope with things and life, and looking for a place to express themselves without being ripped to shreds for doing so.

The positive stuff is there but you have to want to see it. If you are feeling quite negative it’s only natural that you are going to pick up on the negative aspects.

Please forgive me but I don't see that working. From what I have read, everyone has good days and bad days. I think that is what you are going to end up with, a thread where people report to having a good day. Next you’ll have a thread where people report having a bad day.

This board seems to work pretty well just as it is. The balance is very good. Isn't it true that most of the 'negative' stuff is coming from the original poster because that person is sharing and hoping for some support and encouragement. And most of the positive stuff comes in the way of replies to the original post. Add to that people posting in General Chat, it’s all a matter of balance. And I think this board has it.

I don’t know about the rest of you but when I came here I was pretty down and upset and a lot of what I read seemed like ‘bad news’ but I figured out that that was more to do with how I was feeling than it had to do with what was actually going on in the board.

I think if the people who think it is all so negative just gave it a chance, they would begin to feel much better and then may be able to see the board for what it is - A place for people struggling to cope with things and life, and looking for a place to express themselves without being ripped to shreds for doing so.

The positive stuff is there but you have to want to see it. If you are feeling quite negative it’s only natural that you are going to pick up on the negative aspects.

I don't want to get into anyone's threads in particular, as I don't want anyone to feel bad for their posts, but can you honestly look through the titles of threads on the Adult ADD forum, the General ADD forum, or the Non-ADDer support forum and tell me that looking at those thread titles engenders positivity? Just as you said, this forum is a great place for people to express themselves without being ripped to shreds for doing so. So, people bring their problems here looking for support, and that is great, but seeing those titles and threads doesn't make one think positively.

Why don't you think it would work? Maybe you misunderstood. Yes, ADDers have ups and downs, as do non-ADDers, in life. However, there are people that have gone on to great success in their professional careers, or who have raised great families, or who have found a great way of dealing with some particular trait of ADD, and I'd like to be able to find them without digging through the negative threads to find them in a response. Misery loves company, and this forum has a lot of misery on it. The positives are there, but typically held out in responses only. Let's take those positives and put them out there for everyone to see in their own forum and threads, rather than merely as a response to someone's pain. If the forum is designated as positive only, you won't have positives one day from a poster and negatives the next, as the negatives wouldn't be allowed.

I myself came here full of positive vibes, wanting to find others like me and see what people are doing that is working. It was AFTER coming here and reading for a while that the negativity of the threads, the problem after problem that is pointed out by fellow ADDers, that I started getting really down. People come here to talk about their problems. I would think that some of us might like to see those that have something good to say right off the bat.

Are there any victories on here? Sure, people have some bits and pieces of advice to give here and there to point someone in a more positive direction, but is anyone on here happy? Has anyone found a way to live a positive, happy life despite their struggles? Does anyone have qualities that are a result of their ADD, i.e. the ability to perform under pressure or to multi-task, that have really served them well in life and made them happy and successful? Those stories are best told by themselves, rather than under the response of a negative problem that someone is having.

Rather than offering encouragement to someone with problems once they bring the problems to us, why can't we have a proactive approach and put the positives out there for people to read, all in one place? Hope is a wonderful thing, but in my opinion, this forum doesn't offer many stories of success to hang one's hope on. I know this is a lifelong battle, but surely their are people on here that can say they have made a happy life for themselves, and I for one would love to hear their stories of triumph, their tips for success, and what people are thankful for in focusing on the positive attributes of ADD, rather than just the problems and responses to them.

If nothing else, what would this hurt? If it didn't work, and we couldn't get positive discussions and stories being told, then it could be shut down and deleted. Maybe some are afraid that there aren't positives out there to look to. If there aren't, then that says something. I myself plan on making drastic changes in my life to work toward positive things rather than wallowing in all of the problems ADD has brought to my life. There are positives too. Dr. Hallowell tells stories of happy, successful people that have ADD. I want to be one of those people, and seeing those examples give me something to strive for, rather than just problems to overcome.

Edit to add: My mother doesn't have ADD, but my father likely does. So, she came on here looking for insight and hope. I invited my wife to come here as well to see what she could learn. Neither want to return, as they found this place to be depressing. They didn't come here with a negative outlook or attitude, they were looking for hope and some success to look forward to. Sadly, they didn't find much, and have decided themselves that it would be best to avoid seeing everyone else's problems and to focus on their own. Maybe that would give some perspective from an outsider's view of the forum. They both had to quit coming here because it was bumming them out, and they were looking for the positives. Nobody seemed very happy to them, and everyone seemed to just feed off of one another's problems. Nobody seemed to have anything really genuine and happy to point to as to the possibility of better times ahead. That is what they saw.

Reminds me on other forums a lot people were quite convinced that there was something lacking and one additional sub-forum would make it a happy utopia.
The "build it they will come" idea that the people have is not objective reality.
It usually does not trigger the fundamental change the people want to see. Its just becomes the same old forum with one more rarely used subforum. I would suggest just making a thread on the topic your interested in.

I think it's a great idea. I also think that, if it were tried, and did not work out, it would be a very slightly used sub-forum, and would cause no harm at all.

The religion/spirituality sub-forum does not seem to get a lot of action. I have trouble finding threads in there, even! However, when people post in that sub-forum, it means a lot to those who follow it.

One way of doing something positive is to do something new. Why not this?

mADD mike,

They say when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear. If you can't find what you are looking for here then perhaps this is the wrong board for you.

Maybe the reality is that there is no wonder drug or cure. Maybe what you find here is the reality, and what you are reading is quite simply people who have learned that fact and are learning to cope with the reality of that.

You are looking for success stories. Correct? Most of the posts here are success stories. It just depends on the degree in which you would consider a person's success. If there were any real success stories, drugs, cures, don't you think people would just post about them?

You're right it wouldn't hurt to just create a forum and see if it gets used or not. But if a forum was created every time a newbie suggested one the board would be even more difficult to navigate than it is now.

Why not, like someone suggested, start a positive thread and invite others to share their success stories?

mADD mike,

They say when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear. If you can't find what you are looking for here then perhaps this is the wrong board for you.

Maybe the reality is that there is no wonder drug or cure. Maybe what you find here is the reality, and what you are reading is quite simply people who have learned that fact and are learning to cope with the reality of that.

You are looking for success stories. Correct? Most of the posts here are success stories. It just depends on the degree in which you would consider a person's success. If there were any real success stories, drugs, cures, don't you think people would just post about them?

You're right it wouldn't hurt to just create a forum and see if it gets used or not. But if a forum was created every time a newbie suggested one the board would be even more difficult to navigate than it is now.

Why not, like someone suggested, start a positive thread and invite others to share their success stories?

Nobody ever said that there is a miracle drug or cure. I'd just like to see some threads about the good qualities that are a result of ADD and how those can be maximized, rather than the billion things that are wrong with us. I'd like to see some people start a thread that says "Hey, I've been struggling with x for a while but I just found something that has really changed the way I looked at it", or "Wow my ADD really allowed me to take control of some situations at work today and I kicked tail"; things like that. And I'd like to see it without having to go through threads like "Does it ever get better", "I'm losing hope", "I'm dumping my friend with ADD", etc.

I'm not saying that every thread on here should be pie in the sky. I know there are problems and we all need support. It would just be nice to know that there was a place when we have a bad day that we could go check out something positive. There should be a balance of both, in my opinion, but what do I know, I'm just a newbie, right?

This place is exactly what I'm looking for at times. However, when I'm looking for some good positive threads that might point me to something to feel good about myself by seeing a good quality or experience in others, those threads just don't exist much on here. Again, those threads are likely the reality for many too, positive and negative. No magic cures needed, just balance.

Maybe this is the wrong place. Maybe such forums are just a place for people to go complain. Misery loves company, and surrounding onesself with people that have it much worse than you do can make you feel better about your lot in life, I guess. Take for instance, forums or places where people review products or services. A person with a complaint is more likely at times to go on them to seek help or talk badly about the company or product, much moreso than a person that had a pleasant and positive experience. Is that what this is, just a place where people complain about the misery of their disorder and look for some positive words from others over and over again? Why not put some positive words up for people to access anytime. Maybe they wouldn't feel down quite as much.

Clearly I don't know, and maybe happiness lies off boards like this. Maybe the people that have found happiness don't just come to places like this with problems and have no reason to come here much because they're out doing things and living life. Something to think about.

Mike,

To see if people are interested in a new forum, we ask that they start a thread that resembles what they want. This is a great way to start, but it would be good for you to start a "success" thread and tell us what successes you've enjoyed.

People (in general - not just ADHD) tend to focus on the negative, 'cause that's when support is needed and we are a support forum. There are lots of "success" threads, you just gotta do searches to find them (like any other topic you're wanting to find).


PS. typing in "success" and then, "positive" showed a lot of threads that are probably what you're looking for

Mike,

Sharing what is 'wrong' helps people feel less alone. As for balance, I think there is a good balance here. I don't think it would be realistic to have all the positive posts in one forum. Positive and negative got together like day and night, you can't have one without the other.

Let me ask you then have you discovered something that helps you, something you could share with others? Maybe you could write about what works for you. You are searching for success stories. Why not create your own success story and then share it with everyone on here.

Mike,

Sharing what is 'wrong' helps people feel less alone. As for balance, I think there is a good balance here. I don't think it would be realistic to have all the positive posts in one forum. Positive and negative got together like day and night, you can't have one without the other.

Let me ask you then have you discovered something that helps you, something you could share with others? Maybe you could write about what works for you. You are searching for success stories. Why not create your own success story and then share it with everyone on here.

Well, I was just diagnosed a few weeks, maybe a month or so ago now. I was working on some of the problems in my life that ADD has caused before I ever even knew what caused it, though I've found out there were more problems than I knew. I don't have my own success stories to write about so much yet, which is another reason I thought it would be nice to have them in one place. And by one place, I don't intend to separate the negative from the positive. I never said we shouldn't be able to respond in a positive manner to people's problems, just that those who have some particularly positive threads to START would have a place to do so that others could read. I do intend on starting a thread about my own once I get there, which I also intend to do, though I'll say that burying it in with everyone's problems in these current forums seems a little odd. I'm still trying to search out my own good qualities and to work with them, rather than against them. I try to be positive in my posts, which are usually in response to a negative. In those cases I'm just trying to offer some advice or a different perspective to help facilitate independent thought on a matter. Once I get some real success going though, you'll likely find out in some threads on here that I'll start.

My life was so out of whack before I even learned of ADD that I've got a long way to go to implement things to right the ship. I don't believe that I can do anything perfectly, but I don't believe that I have to let ADD hold me down either. I'm working on identifying strengths and working toward those things right now so that I can have a success story or stories to share later myself. I just hoped to find some on here that I could find for inspiration.

Thanks to all for the counter-suggestions. I'll keep them all in mind and see what I can do or find that has already been written on here in the past.

I think we could all do with some extra inspiration now and then.

I think we could all do with some extra inspiration now and then.

I agree, along with the stories of our failures and bad times, we also need inspiration by telling how we got through our failures and bad times in order to inspirate others and give them hope.:)

Mike,

People do start threads, sharing what they have learned, journals too. You could start a journal on here. This might be very helpful for you since you have just found out about your ADD. Writing about it and the difficulties you experience because of it, keeping track of things, would help you understand it more. Also reading everything you can get your hands on about it. There are some good articles on here and on the net.

Good luck with your research. The more information you take on board the better you will be able to cope with ADD.

I posted a thread in the Misc. Treatment and Approaches forum about positive psychology and it had some good links that I think you may benefit from based on what I am gathering from your posts.

The forum idea may be far fetched, I don't really know, I just stopped lurking recently because I wanted to get the general 'vibe' around here and a few months ago it seemed hostile and negative to me, but I had preconceived notions that were not verifiably true so I dived in once I realized that.

Something that may help beside the link to my post that may help is sticking with the more positive folks around here.

But yeah, back to the link, it is here. (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54714)

i think it's a great idea... and it's just a suggestion i don't know why some people seem to be getting bent out of shape! I don't think ADD is ALL sadness and tears. Most of us have grown up learning how to cope. but when i come here looking for info and such i do kinda get a doom and gloom feel. for heaven sake stay out of the non ADD forum... kinda makes you feel like an abusive @$$. I KNOW i'm not as bad as they make me feel. Maybe there could be an "i don't mind my add spouce so much" forum!! LOL

I couldn't find Mike's new thread so I guess I'll just post this here.


We went up to say hello to Hallowell. As soon as we introduced ourselves and explained who we were, he said, "You have a lot of real survivors there. It's great that you have each other for support." Indeed.

I couldn't find Mike's new thread so I guess I'll just post this here.



Was that something you truly wanted to post in my thread or just a backhanded dig at me for saying things weren't so positive on here? It has nothing to do with personal inspiration or positive stories, but I guess is an attempt to let me know that Hallowell thinks this site is positive and inspirational as I had questioned at times.

I explained in an earlier post that I don't have a thread because I'm trying to work on things myself, but I'll be sure to post positives as they come along. I'm still figuring everything out myself, including just basic positive things about myself. No reason for me to post just yet, though I've posted on here since to try and help others with a kind word or advice.

If your post was a backhanded dig, that's real positive for sure and I appreciate the support for all things inspirational.:rolleyes: If that was something that you meant as a personal inspiration to others, then though it didn't make sense to me as that, kudos to you for trying.:)

If I misunderstood, please clarify. It was so short that it didn't leave a lot of room for me to figure out what you meant by it.

2 more cents from me.

We have a lot of people on the forum who ask for help when they are low and want to get up again. That is what this forum is for and its is doing a great job.

But how about those that have managed to cope with their situation, gotten back on their feet and those who have risen beyond themselves and who are now willing to climb mountains. Should there be no special place for them?

I think the lows should always be balanced by the highs.

I think she was trying to show the inspirational side of this forum -

Please don't take this is some back handed what ever just take the words as they are written - I don't insinuate so please don't waste energy reading them into my post

I have read this entire thread every post - I even followed the hyperlinks posted.

Now my question is this - Sense you feel there needs to be a positive forum offering hope and looking for good things instead of just the bad why did you not take the opportunity offered by sickle?



The negative attracts more people than positive stuff does - it isn't the computer, it isn't this forum it is the freaking human race - apparently you are a part of it -


I saw a thread about anger you posted in , you responded to all those here whom you felt were opposed to your position however you did not respond to the one person who offered you exactly what you said you wanted - Positive psychology (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54714)

I am not accusing you or any one else I am stating the obvious as I personally see it - I am saying I do not understand why you asked for a positive subforum but didn't even reply to a positive thread hyperlinked right here in this thread ?

Another member tried to do some thing along the lines of your request - the response rate should answer your question more than I ever could.

Bottom Line:

Perspective creation isn't a spectator sport.

I think she was trying to show the inspirational side of this forum -

Please don't take this is some back handed what ever just take the words as they are written - I don't insinuate so please don't waste energy reading them into my post

I have read this entire thread every post - I even followed the hyperlinks posted.

Now my question is this - Sense you feel there needs to be a positive forum offering hope and looking for good things instead of just the bad why did you not take the opportunity offered by sickle?



The negative attracts more people than positive stuff does - it isn't the computer, it isn't this forum it is the freaking human race - apparently you are a part of it -


I saw a thread about anger you posted in , you responded to all those here whom you felt were opposed to your position however you did not respond to the one person who offered you exactly what you said you wanted - Positive psychology (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54714)

I am not accusing you or any one else I am stating the obvious as I personally see it - I am saying I do not understand why you asked for a positive subforum but didn't even reply to a positive thread hyperlinked right here in this thread ?

Another member tried to do some thing along the lines of your request - the response rate should answer your question more than I ever could.

Bottom Line:

Perspective creation isn't a spectator sport.

Good grief. While Sickle's post was indeed a positive one, it had nothing to do with personal positive experiences that inspire one dealing with ADD specifically, which was my point. It was merely linked sites and articles. I thought it would be nice to pursue the personal side, to learn from each other's positivity rather than to merely reply to the negativity. I also thought it would help myself and others to see what people think are their positive qualities as a result of ADD, such as the ability to multi-task, creativity, etc. Myself, I haven't posted such a thread yet because after 30 years of destroying myself for every small mistake, I'm trying to find my own positives and explore them now that I know ADD is part of my life. That isn't something you do in a day, or a week, or a month after such a long time of negativity. As soon as I find some really meaningful, positive, things to share, I'll do so.

Do I now have to respond to every positive thread on the board so that you guys will believe that I actually have good, positive intentions?

Again, Sickle's post was nice, and I looked at it, but I thought I had expressed what I thought would be a cool idea here and that it was just merely another positive post. I do realize there are some on here, I just thought it would be nice to have them in one place. I don't know how much more clear I can be.

Oh, and as far as Imnapl's post goes, she came at me via private message and we discussed things. I'll leave it at that.

Go look at my own posts on this board. You will find them largely positive, and I do try to help in response to problems and go at things from a more positive outlook. Not every post I make is positive, as that would be unrealistic. I try to help, but I can't respond to every thread on here that is positive, and the one by Sickle was nice but just didn't fit what I was going for specifically, so I didn't know I had to respond to it to show my seriousness about starting something strictly positive on here.

I'll tell you what, today there will be a new positive thread on here, started by me. I'll think of some things, and explore it, even if prematurely.

Okay ADD peeps, I've started a new thread on the Adult ADD forum. Please help show each other and others that visit this site that ADD isn't all about the problems and negative qualities in our lives, that we can do great things, that we can overcome problems that our chemical imbalances and brain patterns cause in our lives.

We fight an uphill battle many times, help others to see that they might be able to get to the top of that hill in certain areas of life. Give others a reason to fight, give them tips on how to fight by sharing your own inspirational stories.

Don't think your story is inspirational? Don't be humble. If you started off with a problem and overcame it, that is inspirational to others. It doesn't have to be some earth shattering rags to riches made-for-tv story, maybe nobody else even knows. Help others to do the same and to feel proud of it, and help yourself to be proud of it as well. It takes a lot to overcome an pattern of thinking, let everyone know what you've been able to do. Own it, take pride in it, and grow from it.

Help others to see the positive qualities that ADD can bring to your life, such as higher than average intelligence, intuition, compassion, generosity, the ability to multi-task or to hyperfocus, etc. How do those things make your life better?

Here is the thread. (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55115)