i have spoke to my son about the things that are going on with his behaviour and am now trying to remain calm and show him the right ways to behave i am now trying to reward more of the good behaviour and am hoping it will do some good i still find it hard to remain calm and at times i end up shouting cos i feel that i just cant take any more wish me luck!!!!!!!!!

good luck floss!!!!!!!!! i had amazing success when i rewarded the positive behavior.
huggssss
chris

good luck floss!

please remember that even if you sometimes shout, you are trying your best. that's all anyone can ask. no one can *always* remain calm. what is the maya angelou quote? something like, "we do the best we know to do. and when we know better, we do better."

Floss,....good luck with it hun,...you are on the right track. Even if you do yell,....remember you are only human and sometimes get frustrated. I know you are doing your best,...and you are really a good mom. Maybe you need to have more confidence and a lil less self doubt,...i say this cause i know you well. You are definately practicing many positive parenting skills. Love ya hun :p

Floss,

Is your son at an age that he likes and appreciates recieving sticker's?

Before my children realized the value of money we kept a card of sticker's on us at all times.

When good behaviour's were exhibited they got a sticker on their shirt.

When bad behaviour's occured a sticker was taken away.

At the end of the day they could exchange their sticker's for a prize out of the "Prize box" (a box full of toy's from the dollar store and so on). We found they had an easier time minding their behaviour's when they knew there may be a prize at the end of the day.

1-5 stickers NO prize
6 or more they got a prize.

It's an idea.

p.s. If you buy toy's that come in set's break them apart. They really want the whole set and work hard to get it.

Futs has a great idea with the stickers! Another technique that has worked for me is called "time-in". You watch your child, and when you catch him doing something "good" (could be waiting patiently, playing nicely with siblings, trying to do something that's hard for him, etc.) you go up to him, put your hand on his shoulder, and tell him how happy and proud it makes you to see him doing that. Be specific about what he did right! The goal is to make most of your interactions positive instead of negative. This can be tough for parents who are used to a lot of conflict, but it can really pay off.

"Time In" I love the concept I think as parent's we get so caught up in "Time Out" we forget sometimes that kids honestly crave and yearn to hear how wonderful they can be when they direct their energies towards the positive. I'm gonna give it a try what could it hurt.

Floss, thanks for sharing your problems, I am getting so much out of the responses!!

I had a hard time changng my mindset with my son from "Nail him! he's wrong" (which is what i learned growing up) to "Catch him being GOOD" which is what worked so much better. I also learned to apologize when I was wrong. It taught him he could apologize and try to do better too. I love the idea of "Time INs" I'm going to try that!
Floss, I forgive you for not being perfect. Do you forgive me for the same thing?