I don't know how I'm gonna make it without finally crawling in the black hole.
......It's HAAAAARD.

I wanted to relapse so bad, or kill myself yesterday...
....I thought i'd explode if I was existed each second that passed.


I'm really having one of those times in life, where you stop eating and driving...
...and give driving your full attention?


My life is getting better in some ways and worse in others..

....I'm taking MASSIVE esteem abuse, from people who usually support me.

I'm in orientation now for work...
.....and I/'m getting things like..."don't talk too much"
"come let me make sure you look ok, you can't loose this job"

......I was even acused of lying....because i could'nt remember where i put a fork..
....my roomate said "you threw IT AWAY! ADMIT IT"

I said...If i did, I don't remember doing it!
....I did'nt do it on purpose if I did...

I found it.

I was like...I'm not a liar...I can't keep up with what comes outta my mouth now.

but I do know IT'S THE TRUTH.

....I dunno, I feel like everyone thinks i'm gonna loose this job..
its a job i've done many times before...

....I'm glad tom have it.....but the STRESS I'm under from HOME is
ridiculous!

I'm also doing a picture for someone..

....when you come in and say things to the effect.

"I'm trying to do things to upset my roomate, because I love being belittled"

...it sorta drains your creative juices.

I told her and mom..
.....you're sabbataging me and you.

if you make it a point to upset the crap outta me before work....
.....so i"m defensive, upset, squirrelly......and feeling "less than"

what do you think is gonna happen?

I worked for rockets 18 years

I worked at shell 18 months....

.......gimmie a break.


I realize...
...my roomate thought i was hyper.

JUST hyper.

she thinks I do things on purpose, beause I enjoy her anger.
.......I don't clean up, because I think "she will"

......I showed her ALL the add symptoms...and i think she's better.

I'm already baracaded in my room, to try and avoid this..
......I know how i am.

but i swear....
....when i walk outside the bedroom door.

I leave crumbs.

I amaze myself.

......I was even acused of lying....because i could'nt remember where i put a fork..
....my roomate said "you threw IT AWAY! ADMIT IT"

.

I have a theory people snap and kill people everyday for less. My moms boyfriend a lot of years ago popped up in my room (second story garage apartment with a trap door at top of stairs) and asked " when are you taking these dirty dishes to the kitchen (in a sarcastic tone)" I just ran as fast as I could dove on him sending us both to the bottom of the stairs followed by lots of punching.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I have the same problem with "lying" when I'm really just forgetting stuff. It's bad enough when people think you're stupid but it really hurts to be accused of lying.

Hugs Suzie... hang in there. I'm here if you want to pm. I understand the put downs that family can lay on us. Been the victim for years. You are worth a million in my eyes... and I for one am glad you're here.

yeah, the lying thing hurts...
....and I hate it taken to the level of

"I'm not really as bad as i let on, I'm intelligent, and Iknow more than I appear to"

.......to me that means.

MANIPULATIVE.

......manipulative means PLANNING.

I try not to think of people who say that.

......I hate being treadted llike I'm "that" when I'm really "THIS"

they think because i can write a post...
.....I can organize my thoughts, room, car time, ect.

mmmmm

I don't apreciate it much...

.....it's funny. people who have really met me, defend me by saying

she's not lying, I met her, and she's really a fry short of a happy meal.


.............THANK YOU!


I think.




LOL!
....either way.....I get the slap.


I like slaps now some times. *smiles*
....just when I'm tied up tho.

SuzzanneX, I think the easiest way of not being accused of lying is to ALWAYS tell the truth. Even doing this you will still catch a lot of grief, especially if you do it like I do. I am blunt, straightforward, NO beading around the bush, NO candy-coating, directly what I think. When I ever even think somebody is acting like I am lying I go straight OFF on them. A lot of people can not handle hearing the truth even when that is exactly what they asked for. I don't really know what to tell you, other than always be truthful and you will not run into being called a liar as often. They might call you other names, but that is just part if life. If certain people upset me that bad, I simply avoid them. I doubt that is going to help you much. But it is the best I can come up with. Best of luck to you! And hang-tough you aren't even close to being a "french fry" period. Maurice

Dude, I'm NOT A LIAR!!!!!

....my memory...is NOT GOOD ENPOUGH.

I'll tell you the truth is it makles my eyeballs bleed!

........she apologized.

I lived here 2 yrs and NEVER lied to her.

THANKS....I needed that.


*sigh*

Ummmm Maurice, did you misread the post?

DAMN I did not call or say you were a liar SuzzanneX.. Believe it or not I was ONLY trying to help you. I did NOT understand that you were having difficulty forgetting. I am VERY VERY SORRY about the MISUNDERSTANDING. I APOLOGIZE for the misinterpretation and MISUNDERSTANDING!!!! I am VERY WERY SORRY I was NOT trying to make things worse I was trying to make things better for you.

Never attribute to malice what can easily be explained by ADD and less than perfect word choices.


Many of us who have ADD also have learning differnces that effect the ability to communicate via the written word.

Most of us at one time or another have written post that were misunderstood and have misunderstood post we have read.


The bottom line is the top line of this post.

Never attribute to malice what can easily be explained by ADD and less than perfect word choices.
:D

I understand Muarice's post may have sounded like he was saying if you told the truth you would not have been called a liar but I do not think that was the intended message.

I am going to try and re-word according to how I read not only the words but the intention behind them - experiencing post in 3D and seeing things other than the words themselves - my expression of dyslexia.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SuzzanneX, I think the easiest way of not being accused of lying is to ALWAYS tell the truth. Even doing this you will still catch a lot of grief, especially if you do it like I do. I am blunt, straightforward, NO beading around the bush, NO candy-coating, directly what I think.

Always telling the truth may prevent you from being called a liar but that doesn't stop people from calling you other names or accusing you other stuff. Because I am direct instead of being called a lair I get called ______


Some ADDers have a hard time finding the words which can be misinterpreted as lying. Plus some people have a hard time believing we can't remember things like they do .






When I ever even think somebody is acting like I am lying I go straight OFF on them.

Being false accused makes me so mad I go off the deep end - I hate false accusations and people calling me names that are not true.



A lot of people can not handle hearing the truth even when that is exactly what they asked for.

It doesn't matter what you do your are probably going to catch hell for some reason or another Even when I respond as people say they want me to I still get bit**ed at.

The reality is you can't please some people no matter how hard you try



I don't really know what to tell you,

This is worded accurately



other than always be truthful and you will not run into being called a liar as often. They might call you other names, but that is just part if life.

{poor word choices but i think this to mean}

reiteration of being different means you are going to be called some kind of mean name by some one some where - I hate being called a lair and I rarely am because am so blunt but it doesn't stop people from treating me badly. Seems like people are always finding reason to be mad at me even when I am not trying to make them mad.

If I wasn't so blunt I would probably be accused of lying too -

- damned if I do damned if I don't -


If certain people upset me that bad, I simply avoid them.

The only way I know to avoid being treated badly and called mean names is to avoid people who treat me badly,



I doubt that is going to help you much. But it is the best I can come up with. Best of luck to you!

I want to make you feel better and come up with some thing that might be useful but I doubt it will help because your situation is so much different than mine


And hang-tough you aren't even close to being a "french fry" period. Maurice

I am sorry you are being called a lair I wish you didn't have to go though these things but I have faith you can over come no matter what people say.

You are a nice person not a liar.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maurice

I re-worded your post according to how I read the meaning and intent. Although I have decent comprehension I do have my flaws. I posted my interpretation as a member so If I misrepresented you in any way you could feel free to correct me.

All that pain, it doesn't come from the words other people say, it comes from ourselves and how we respond to them
if they are right in their critisisms then we can be grateful for them pointing out our failings and we can aim to improve
if they are wrong we can accept that they are mistaken as we are sometimes mistaken
At the end of the day we can't spend our whole life worrying about our reputation and trying to fix peoples opinions of us, we have to just keep moving forward
people can't argue with you unless you argue back and when you lose your temper your functional levels plummit and you further convince people you can't cope
don't get involved
relax
just breathe
it will pass
love Alexis

hey Maurice, it's ok dude.
....I was just clarifying.

*hugs* we're ok.

Gawd, now I'm sorry you are so sorry.
..........thank you for trying to help, please, continue to try.
I need all i can get.

LoL

...Back to the point.

the reason people say "don't talk too much" is because I'm extremely blunt and
what comes up comes out.

......so in essence, I start cryiing because I'm hearing "don't be yourself"

My last job, if you missed that one.

...I was fired for being "a little different"

I was always told be what ever you want, just don't be like everyone else.

.....now the same people (my parents) are saying "BLEND"

and i'm not really sure HOW to act if I don't act like me.

The issues you are having are all caused by external sources. However, sometimes we allow others to shape our "self"-esteem too much, as really it is better if it comes from within, rather than from those around us. In other words, who cares what they think, if you are truly happy with yourself? It is easier said than done, but try to shape your self-esteem by doing the best that you can and being happy with your own efforts in life, rather than how others perceive you. Sometimes I have to quit caring what others think and work on my self by and for myself. When other people start influencing how I think about myself too much, I try to notice and focus on myself and how I feel about myself rather than how they do. I put them in the background and take back control of how I feel about myself.

Now, I happen to be my harshest critic, but I'm trying to quit doing that. I happen to be much harder on myself than anyone else, but I know most people aren't as hard on themselves as I am and that I'm unbalanced in that respect. So, hopefully you can put those other people around you in the background as noise and focus on yourself and how you feel about you, rather than how others do. You know that you just forgot this or that, or that there is no malice in your actions, so take solace in that and be proud of who you are and the fact that you understand yourself, regardless of whether or not anyone else does.

I hope I understood where you're coming from and could be of some help.

so in essence, I start cryiing because I'm hearing "don't be yourself"

My last job, if you missed that one.

...I was fired for being "a little different"

I was always told be what ever you want, just don't be like everyone else.

.....now the same people (my parents) are saying "BLEND"

and i'm not really sure HOW to act if I don't act like me.

It is confusing as hell isn't it.


While it is easy to say what other people think and say it doesn't matter when it comes to having to bring home the bacon to a certain extent it does matter .

I think it is the usual ADD problem of balance - we should be our selves but those who go about life thinking only of them selves are called narcissist, or psychopath. Some opinions do matter to me - not many mind ya but some do and I understand what you mean suzz because being different cost you a job - you lost income for being you - so yeah that sucks

Some where there is a thing called middle ground where we are considerate of others and we care how our behavior effects them but we don't let other people even the ones we love determine who we are - It is that missing the middle ground thing that causes me the most head aches and cost me the most relationships.

I need to be considerate of others of this I agree but my problem is I live in a world where people basically don't give a damn about any one but their selves - I am beginning to think society in general is a bunch of fickle fruit cakes who haven't a clue wtf they want .

Being told to be considerate while have to dodge other people **** balls kind of makes me glad I am mortal and won't have to put up with it for an eternity. I mean I will die eventually now there is a morbid thing to look forward to. . . makes aging a bit easier {IMHO}

umm this didn't help much did it. .. . sorry at lease you know you are not alone in your confusion = does that help some???? I hope so - I really am trying to help it's just that some things do suck no matter what I say.

it weird...
.....I wonder if it's a touch of deprsonalization...or being caught up in your own mind
its hard to see what people in the real world are going thru, unless they point it out.

it's easy to be empathetic on message boards...
.......but the hurricane of life is so loud, it's hard to see past yourself.