Hey everyone!

I've had a bit of a bad go of it here lately..I can't communicate well I guess and have had some harsh criticisms. I understand, but its still very cutting. I am very down right now...and I am usually not.

Why can't people see who I really am? I do have a life outside of the computer....thank God! I guess I just come off bad in text....:(

so I am throwing out this line for some niceness....Please drop me a line if you know me (or amykins) or understand how I feel...Nice only please! If its critical...I am sure I have heard it already...

Thanks everyone who does post!:)

Amy

*hug*

Hi Amy,

I see from your stats that you've posted here before (duh!!!), but I don't remember you. I've noticed that some people have changed their Avatars . . . which is cool, I guess . . . but FOR ME - I tend to totally NOT KNOW the person anymore when they do that. I often don't recognize them without that Avatar that I've gotten used to. I guess the Avatar is more in my memory than the actual NAME. And I KNOW that I don't remember the Avatar you have.

Anyway - my point is that I don't even remember you, so I have nothing negative floating around in my head regarding your posts. But I know how hurtful it feels when you believe you aren't particularly liked by your peers. When it comes to criticism, I try not to "go there" in my online relationships. Some people would say that it's not honest or healthy or intimate of me to just "be nice" in my online relationships. But I can get so hurt by confrontations, misunderstandings, insults, etc. -- and it's just NOT worth it, to ME, to get all into it with someone I really don't even KNOW.

Anyway, I am sorry if you are having a similar negative experience. My suggestion would be (besides what you are doing which I believe is a very good approach) to just move on from whatever neg. exchange took place. I believe that most healthy people respond favorably to a sincere, "I'm sorry that my comments offended you, and I will be reflecting on how I might better express myself. I hope we can move forward and that you will give me a second chance. I'd like to get to know you all better and hopefully make some friends" (or something like that). Again - I'm not even sure that I'm understanding you correctly, not knowing what specifically it is that you experienced. So, I'm just generalizing here, and I'm hoping that my feedback is useful (if not to you, then to someone reading).

Ya know - when I first found this place and started posting, I felt like it was very clique-y and that nobody wanted to let me in. In spite of the traditional "Welcome to the ADDForums" posts given to New Members, I felt rather UN-WELCOME and UN-LIKED here. So I decided I'd find another ADD Online Support Board . . . but I couldn't find any that were active. So about 6 months (+ or -) later I came back and decided I'd just READ. I mean, there has always been SO MUCH to read here, and I get a LOT out of that. So I did that - and when I felt that I just couldn't contain myself - I'd reply.

Eventually I got to know that certain individuals would find __________ offensive and have to comment about it, while others would confront anyone who said _____________, etc. In other words, I discovered that some of the remarks that hurt me came from individuals who would say that same kind of stuff to just about ANYONE . . . especially anyone who tended to express themselves like me or share my point of view on something. And when I realized this, it made such comments much easier to take when they were directed at me. I realized that it was just how that person feels about this particular topic NO MATTER WHO is posting. (So I knew not to take it so personally.)

Anyway - I don't believe I know you, but one thing I DO know is that you have just as much a place here as does anyone else!! And I'll bet that things will smooth over and you'll again feel like a "Family Favorite" here. It seems that, for the most part, we're a community that really takes cares for one another. We may get into arguments, spats . . . but we eventually kiss and make up because there's a DEEPER LOVE we all feel for one another based on our common experience of living with ADHD in the 21st century.

Love,
Sue

Hi Amy... don't forget.. you can always pm me when you need to vent. THey're always open. Big hugs and I hope things improve. Life can be such a mess sometimes... but we just have to move forward.. and hope for the best.

If I remember correctly.. didn't you have Princess Leah (Sp?) ... as your avatar? Not sure.. it's been a while. I almost didn't recognize who you were... with your new screen name.

Amy,
I do remember you!! You have been a great help to me on here. I went through some touch circumstances not that long ago, and you sharing with me and allowing me to vent to you helped me get through it. Thank you. You do make a difference.

Sometimes life has a way of taking unexpected turns and twists that can leave one feeling empty and lost. I want you to know that you have come a long ways and the ride isn't over yet. The silver lining will show itself soon.

*hugs* I hope everything is alright.

MJ. Sorry to hear you are going through I rough time here lately. I don't communicate to well myself and it frustrates me to no end. Fortunatly it looks like you have some supportive friends here though. Focus on them and try not to let the critics get to you (I know, easier said than done).

So sorry yesterday was a bad day for you!! I have foot in mouth syndrome at times.

Today is a new day!! So big hugs. It's a chance to start over.

Like the hubby says:

"one day at a time"

Thank you all for your support, in your posts, PMs, and re- friend requests! It was and is much needsd and even more appreciated. It is almost as if some people can see the real me.. :)

Amy, I remember you too. And you never said anything to upset me. I think I even posted a dedication post to you because you were so helpful to me when I came here. You have to be aware that when you’re not feeling so good a lot of that ‘everybody hates me’ stuff is just in your head. Try not to worry so much about what other people think and instead simply take care of you. Someone gave me a wonderful piece of advice. When you’re not feeling too good imagine you are your own sick child. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfishness it’s self-awareness.

Here this is for you.


Take Care Of You

Support Yourself ~ You are your own best friend. You alone know what is best for you. Don't be afraid to ask for help if and when you need it. Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are wise.

Praise Yourself ~ Give yourself a pat on the back for all the things you did well, for every mistake you learned something from, for every person you did a favour for, and remember to tell yourself how well you are doing.

Forgive Yourself ~ Let go of the past. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing and you will live life differently. Forgive everyone who ever hurt or upset you - you hurt no one but yourself by holding onto this kind of baggage.

Stop All Criticism ~ Pay attention to your internal dialogue, and stop criticizing yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. Review the source then try to treat other people's criticism constructively.

Give And Receive Freely ~ Giving is fun, and that includes giving to yourself. The more you give to yourself, the more you have to give to others. Giving to others comes not from a sense of sacrifice, self-righteousness, or spirituality, but from the pure pleasure of giving. Giving becomes its own reward. Remember, you can't continue to give unless you are equally willing to receive.

Start Caring ~ Some people feel uncomfortable with the term "Love Yourself". Begin by caring about yourself and the world you live in. Start caring about what you want out of life, love and relationships. Begin now to care about yourself and everyone else in your life. Caring about yourself and others isn't a pain-free occupation, but you will be cultivating a positive, loving, caring relationship with yourself.

Be Gentle, Kind and Patient - Especially With Yourself ~ My well-being comes before your well-being from where I stand, and your well-being comes before my well-being from where you stand. And that's as it should be. We can't presume to take care of anyone until we can take care of ourselves. Thinking about what makes us happy and comfortable is not selfishness, it's self-awareness. When we are happy others benefit also.

Deal Positively With Negative Thoughts And Feelings ~ Negative thoughts are not bad, they're simply telling us about something that needs our attention. Our job is to discover what needs to be done and take care of it. Many people fail to see a negative occurrence as a learning experience and continue to feel victimised and helpless, ultimately blaming others for what they drew to themselves, however unaware of that fact they may be.

Take Care Of Your Body ~ The most effective healing system is in the body itself, but it will only work properly when we allow it to do so. We restrict its power to heal itself by worrying and getting over anxious about everything that 'might' go wrong in our lives. If you have a serious problem and there seems to be no answer in sight, it could be that your emotions are getting in the way and that you are working against yourself; perhaps you have the answer but you are too upset to realise it. In that case, it may be more effective and appropriate to work first on your feelings and emotions.

I'm not Irish, but here is an Irish blessing just for you:

"May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!":)

What type of things make you feel like a kid? For me, its going outside and acting goofy with my kids like silly face chase or something really goofy and funny. If I can get my kids to laugh, that's even better. Shoot, even just coloring with crayons or blowing bubbles makes me feel better. What's the saying? "Simple minds, simple pleasures."

I get told I'm an amazing, genius (yeah, right) and so talented on line.
.....and in real life....I'm as fuked up as a football bat.

I can't seem to fit in.

.....it's is a bummer.

A gienius in what perspective? work with that..map it out, we can fix this.

I don't think it's true..
...I think t's a mistake.

Hey Amy, I don't know you, but here's a **HUG** anyway.

I get told I'm an amazing, genius (yeah, right) and so talented on line.
.....and in real life....I'm as fuked up as a football bat.

I can't seem to fit in.

.....it's is a bummer.


Everyone’s perspective comes from their own experiences in life. Their view of you comes from their perspective. You are not responsible for other people’s perspective of you, that comes from them not you. Stop buying into other peoples opinion of you. The way you come across on line is the real you, it comes from inside of you and not just from the surface and other people’s take on you in real life. Most people are too busy worrying about how they are coming across to you to be thinking too much about you. Most of that negative crap is just in our heads. If we were to ask some family members and friends to help us out by writing a short piece on how they see us, I think we would be very pleasantly surprised by the result.

I think I know what you're going through - I used to post on the Ataris Message Board (of all places!!) and it was very cliquey, and a lot of them didn't like me. There were a few people on there, who became moderators, who would "flame" all my threads and posts, especially more towards the end of my time there. Eventualy I left.

At the same time, some of the posters from there made a new forum of their own (called the STK), on a different site, and I got in there with a different user name, but then they figured out I was the person from the AMB and cancelled my login, so I made another.. etc... I'm not sure why I wanted to be a part of that group.

Anyway, it was a smaller group, probably of a few hundred people, with probably the same 50 people being regular posters there.

Here, there are a lot more people. and people tend to "hang out" in different areas of this site, so it's a bit easier here.

I haven't had any "problems" per say on here, but I can symphathise with the sort of situation you are in.

Maybe just be careful about what you type (I don't know of anything you've said that has been bad, but I haven't been on here for about a year)

Hey everyone!

I've had a bit of a bad go of it here lately..I can't communicate well I guess and have had some harsh criticisms. I understand, but its still very cutting. I am very down right now...and I am usually not.

Why can't people see who I really am? I do have a life outside of the computer....thank God! I guess I just come off bad in text....:(

so I am throwing out this line for some niceness....Please drop me a line if you know me (or amykins) or understand how I feel...Nice only please! If its critical...I am sure I have heard it already...

Thanks everyone who does post!:)

Amy
heya ak..sorry I missed this thread...now..off to read it
xxx
hugs
you're a champ...but you know I think that:p