So I have had this friend for a very long time but after high school we started to drift apart mainly because she lived and went to school an hour away from where I live and go to school. We still talked all the time just rarly got together. We were planning on getting an apartment together until I had caught her in a few lies where she would say she was gonna go some where with me or whatever and then bail out. Since then I told her I dont wanna live with her ever and dont trust her. She told me she understood and that i desereved a better friend and felt bad for lying to me. She said lately shes been lyin a lot and felt horrible about it adn promised to stop.

She called me here and there after that and I pretty much just blew her off but at times talked to on the phone with her but never made plans with her. She kept telling me she was gettin an apartment finally and really wanted me to room with her but I said no.

I am goin to the same school as her in january and need a place to live. She is moving into a 1 bedroom apartment in august for 6 month lease. She said after her lease shed get a 2 bedroom place near our school with me. Which would be perfect for me since she is a lot like me and besides the lying stage we had gone through we have been great friends.
What should I do? give her a chance and live with her? I don;t know if its jsut my ADD but lately I have such a hard time keeping my friends because if they do something wrong I automatically push away from them. Do you guys do this too?

SOrry this was so long but please help me with this one!!! I have no one else to talk to because I will complain about my friends NON stop to my parents and say how i hate thme and am not talkin to thme anymore then next thing I am sayin im hangin out with them. So they wont listen to me anymore lol

Do not room with her unless you have legal and indisputable evidence that she does not lie anymore. And I don't mean a superficial statement from her. I mean legal evidence and proof. Once a liar, always a liar unless something major and traumatic intervenes to force a change.

That's the answer. There is no reason to think she has changed. Do not room with her!

depends

has she ever lied to you about :

money

something relating to your relationship with others

or in any way that:

caused you to lose money

caused you to get in trouble

caused you consequences emotionally, besides the feeling of being lied to



If she has only lied by being flaky (promising to hang out and not showing up) she may have been either flaky in general (unreliable socially), trying to be nice even though she had no intention of hanging out, or just socially awkward.

If she's ever lied in a way that caused any serious, real consequences to you, then do NOT move in with her no matter WHAT proof there is that she is now honest. Trust me on this (HA) it is not hard to find "proof" of honesty.

If the lies she told were only about her not showing up for a party or to do something fun...then yeah. It says nothing about what she will be like as a housemate...but be careful because unreliability is not usually confined to one area of someone's life (you may be paying late fees if you rely on her to pay her share on time for bills, for example.)

I don't think you should move in expecting to be bestest friends, either. If she IS unreliable she may use your friendship to lever you into paying things for her, borrowing money, etc etc

Just do NOT see her as a friend, but as a roommate...if you cannot do this then don't live with her at all.

honesty is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye

no she hasnt lied to me in a way where it hurt me besides being mad that I was lied to. She has always been a good friend and went through a hard time for awhile and is better now.
She is one of the only people I can see myself living with because i know there wont be people at the house all the time and we just have the same interests and are both in the same situation and going to the same school. I just have a hard time trusting people but I need a room mate one way or another so should I just give her a chance?

If you've got nowhere else to live it sounds like you should.

Roommates are always a pain in the ***, but at least ya'll are old friends. If moving in with strangers is your alternative , then I'd definately recommend the friend.