ok i am really making strides in my life i feel, i have ammounted some debt about 50,000 but i feel lesson learned and lets move on

my wife does not support me. She spends momey on weekend trips, she complains i dont do enough and she says she pays the bills that should be enough.

The problem is she makes noattempt to see or find out what is going on with my therapy or work. She just wants me to quit with my self employment and go get a job anywhere.

So i am seeking out some other jobs but she is being very pushy I have just been diagnosed pretty severe ADD inattentive and severe anxiety

I go weekly to therapy monthly to psychiatristevery 6 weeks or.

I just wish she would read abook about someone with add i feel like she hasno clue who i amI guess I am ranting but divorce is on the table so i reqally dont know what to do

I am smiling as i write this because i know o have put forth 105% to everything so if i can do that and she is still all *****y i am about to agree with her

Just wondering if either of you have thought about couples counseling? It sounds like you need to re-open those lines of communication.

If she is unwilling.. go alone.

Or have you already discussed all of this with your psychiatrist? If so,...what were the suggestions?

You're saying your wife doesn't "support" you - in the beginning of your post, it seems that you are talking about money, but then it seems you are talking about emotional/mental sort of support...

From what I read, your wife is not willing to try to understand or help you, and she contributes financially to some things when necessary, so that according to her is all she needs to do in the relationship.

Is that right?

That's certainly not good enough.

Do you have kids? How old are you?

Why does she go on weekend trips without you??????

You can't expect simple solutions from each other. You have no right to expect changes from her behaviour by 'reading a book', anymore than she can expect you to 'just get a job.'

Recognize that dealing with someone else's ADD is a tough thing. Heck, it's tough for the person having it, never mind their loved ones! The unperdictabilty, instability, the frustration from miscommunication... it adds up, so she may be choosing retail therapy rather than dealing with you because it's easier.

Yes it is frustrating and sad when your partner isn't supportive of your efforts to get better. Maybe right now she's too emotionally drained to be supportive.

Now I don't know your marriage. Was she generally a kind, supportive, and loving individual to begin with and has changed over the course of your marriage? If so, than there is hope there. If on the other hand you married someone who was initally lacking in these qualities, then you've got some thinking to do. You can't expect blood from a stone, and if she never had the emotional maturity to handle marriage than you can't expect she'll suddenly develop these qualities. She may in time act in ways that are somewhat supportive, but the bulk of the work will have to be from you.

You have some work to do in order to be a husband to her. Hopefully you'll be able to manage your ADD so that you're more or less in control of it. If self employment is not providing an adequate income for you and your wife, guess what.. time to get a 'real' job with a weekly dependable paycheque. Hopefully by doing these things, your wife will be able to see that you are indeed committed to this relationship, and she will respond appropriately.

Good luck.

I don't really believe in mariage so I'm not a great person to ask. If it's about money the issue is simple, I think both people need to be putting in an EQUAL PERCENTAGE of their income to mutual living expenses. This does assume that both people are working the same number of hours. If you are working less hours or contributing a lower percentage of your income then I think she a right to expect some other contribution. The important thing is that both people need to be equal. One will person will always make more money, sometimes a lot more but the labor needs to be valued the same once you get home. The person making more money for the same amount of work SHOULD be contributing more... to a point. She should absolutly be supportive of your therapy but to be honest not everyone can deal with this no mater how hard they try. If the money is an issue then maybe you can find out what you can do demesticly to help. Maybe you can agree to contribute more to living expenses during the times when you have a windfall or whatnot. Everything is a negociation and big problems occur when one person feels they are contributing more (in any way) or "trying harder" than the other person. The problem with mariage or relationships is there almost always is someone who "tries harder" and it becomes a point of resentment. People also expect people to change when they rarely do. I'm a big believer in knowing when to call it quits and move on becuase eventualy both people become miserable and life is too short to live like that.

I showed my roomate this,
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx1.htm



when she was mad at me about making careless mistakes, not seeming to listen when spoken to directly, failing to finish chores.
Often losing things easily distracted by extraneous stimuli, often forgetful. talking excessively, blurting out answers before questions have been completed, and interrupting.

she thought I was "hyper" she never knew the symptoms of ADHD..
....it helped her understand me alot.

she said
......"yep, ok, that's you alright"