I love my life.. i really do.. I love my husband greatly.. and he is a dam good father and well husband... there is one thing wrong though.. he doesn't satisfy me sexually.. so i get it from somewhere else.. i have tried being good.. i have bought toys.. but my sexual drive over rides my mind dam.. i am such a horriable person huh... but let me tell you.. people you dont have to respnd to this.. i just wanted tell someone..

I think you should look into yourself and realise why you had to tell the world this.

I might also suggest you train your husband so that he may improve, but don't continue to outsource for sex: the negatives far outweigh the positives.

I have cheated on my ex girlfriend before for the same reason and felt horrible about it until she confessed that she was doing the same. I was in love with her too. We were going to get married but she fell in love with the other guy.

The odd part is that she freaked out when I felt like the weight of the world was lifted and I could finally confess, which I don't understand, the double standard and all.

I would guess that telling people besides him will only relieve the internal pressure temporarily. Eventually it won't help at all and you'll feel bad enough about it to confess to him.

or you'll mess up with your secrecy "accidentally" and get caught.

Are you being treated? I ask because from experience I have found the right combination helps that type impulsivity, helps weigh family, marriage, kids against destructive sexual acting-out. PM me if you need to speak...

Conditions like bipolar can increase a persona's chances of acting out sexually if left untreated however this would only account for a small percentage of the adulterous behaviors.

I think some one would have to be pretty bad in the sack for it to actually be their sexual performance - even then there are "toys"

I would address issues of affection and emotional needs not being meet, and end the affair asap. . . . it is easy to see how the partner who got cheated on is hurt, every one feels for the jilted spouse. The cheating spouse not only ends up getting hurt too they get to enjoy a doubly whammy in that most people feel as the betrayer you couldn't possibly suffer enough no matter how much it hurts.


When I went out on that limb it was because I was looking to have an emotional need met = I felt lonely and isolated. All I wanted to do was have a connection that wasn't house work or kid related. I didn't feel like my husbands partner I felt like his room mate or live in nanny / housekeeper.

I did try counseling , and later couple's counseling but my rational thinking cube broke when my then husband didn't see couple's counseling as some thing important enough to show up . . .there was always some thing more important than my emotional needs. Basically I didn't think he would notice the other man.

I was horribly wrong - he did love me but apparently he did not know how to show me an a way I understood. . . finding out my husband loved me was painfully enough however the hardest part to live with the pain it cause my children.



Please do not put your children through what I put mine through - I would gladly go without sex for the rest of my life if I could take back the pain my behavior caused my girls. . .

I had no idea - I do not think any one does until it is too late.

thank you mommy.. i love you so much..

Now you understand me more than you ever wanted to

It doesn't seem like what you have shared here could turn into some thing like the JR event - but don't let the denial blind you as it did me -

If that bad decision of mine serves to prevent you from putting my grandson through what I put you through then the weight of carrying around the guilt all of these years will have been for a just cause.

thank you mommy.. i love you so much..

I love you to daughter . . ..