Hey all, long time lurker first time poster. I need help.. badly ;)

I will try to be as short as possible... not sure how but will try my best.

I'm 32 years old, learned about my ADHD 2 years ago.

I sucked at school, right up to my 2nd year in college when I started smoking hash... and in one day... my life changed.

I became an honor student. I could probably write pages on how smoking helped me in school, but I will spare you... those that "can" help me will probably understand. I'm still compelled to give at least one reason: Hash made me slow down... and slowing down made me focus.. and less irritated by boring stuff, more creative, and.. work for 12 hours stright while stonned.

In college, my daily dose was steadly increasing till I got to a point where I just dont want to wake up if I have no stach.

When I graduated, I started out with a great multi national, and was developing quicker than anyone around me... I used to smoke up every 5 hours or so... and if I dont.. I spend my day trying to control my nerves.

I hated my addiction... all my life.. I tried to quite... countless times and never lasted a month.

4 years down the road I was bored to my ears and joined another multi national- wasting 1-2 years of my life in the process. I spent 2 and a half years in my new job then OMG... I meet someone with ADHD. Long story short.. I ended up with 10 ADHD books, 3 different doctors diagnoses and the releif of my life

OMG my message is getting so long!.. im so sorry

I wanted to start again... with a more creative job this time.. So I change jobs... 6 months... another job.. 4 months.... NOW job :)

I'm leading a managerial position in a very reputed company...and no one would ever imagin that I actually smoke myself to sleep every night.

I'm so lost... I tried to quite... and used meds for 1 month... then tried again... but the meds just never slowed me enough.. I tried both... but the meds didnt do anything over my smoking.

I dont want to smoke.... ever... I prefer to used meds for the rest of my life... but all the doctors i went to believe that i have an addiction problem and will probably abuse the meds.... i think they are right ;)

please help :)

It takes time and if you dont get over the initial time and choose not to go back it wont work. I know, Im addicted to hash and marijuana and it takes a good ****ing month for the nerves to calm down and to feel good naturally agian. Problem being for us feeling good is addictive, we start feeling good and we want to feel better than the good we feel at that moment.

The meds WILL NOT WORK for at least a good month after you quit cold turkey or the point where you weaned off them completely... the meds will not work. Just listen to that. They will not slow you down if you are smoking weed too.

Im at the month point (THC can take up to 27.6 days to leave your system) and im ****ed as Ill be going home in a few days and hopefully wont start smoking again but you know how it is.

Damn straight... weed makes anxiety worse, depression worse without it because you can't "Enjoy" anything without it... it takes effort to enjoy things without it... and I know its harder with ADHD because the nerves are distracting utterly taking over your life.