I don't know if this is an ADD issue, or just another part of who I am, but here goes:

I often feel "smothered" in relationships, like I can't get time to myself or to do things I enjoy on my own without my friends/boyfriend taking it as rejection.

The thing is, my friends like going to noisy bars, restaurants and clubs. Those places leave my head spinning. I can't hear a thing (other than loud music and people-noise) most of the time, or it seems like everyone is trying to talk to me at once and I can't focus on one conversation. I usually leave early because I just need a break from it all. And if I decline and invitation or am a no-show, suddenly everyone demands to know why I never hang out anymore.

And then. . .the guy I've been dating off-and-on wants to spend EVERY weekend together. He calls and texts me throughout the day (even when I'm at work and he knows I can't talk). I enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him, but I have a "life" outside of that, too. He doesn't seem to grasp that concept, or the fact that I have a horse to care for and exercise, and I have other things going on in my life.

So, as I said. . .I end up feeling smothered.

Thoughts?

Sounds kind of like what i am experieiencing only in an opposite way. I am having this effect on her. I am the one smothering her. I am the one with add. It sounds similar but the opposite(dosn't make sense). I am the one that always wants to be with her and have been. I have crammed 25 yrs of marriage into 8. I guess I over did it. I was just recently diagnosed with add and placed on meds. I wish i had had that done before so i would not be were i am know, trying to "relearn" my relationship becuase I "over did it". That is the word i have heard before smothering....

Sounds like his issues but where you can start is by the good old "boundary time".

Set those boundaries before it gets habitual or he gets hurt and feels rejected.

You should be fine then.

I you're feeling smothered then I'm thinking there is probably too much difference in attitude between you to make it a laster.

I've been both the smothered and the smotheree and the lack of comfort made me resent the other person.