View Full Version : Trouble sleeping in a bed with someone else


prtsimmons
07-17-08, 01:13 PM
I really don't like sleeping in a bed with someone else, although I have had to adapt over the last two years of living with my girlfriend. Does anyone else have this problem? I like to go to bed late, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and get up and do something (read, draw, listen to music). I never slept well in high school and university - 3 or 4 hours was average during the week, then I would catch up on the weekends.

I sleep pretty good when I smoke, but I have not been smoking over the last couple of weeks in a effort to isolate the effects of the active ingredients. The most noticeable effect has been a return to the insomnia and occasional undirected rage I remember from my teen years.

Last night, for example, I forced myself to go to bed at 1 a.m. (I haven't slept well in a week, so I was exhausted.) I got out of bed at 1:30, frustrated and restless, and went for a ride on my motorcycle (I couldn't read anymore, and TV enrages and frustrates me at the best of times). Finally went to bed again at 2:20, then got out of bed at 2:40 and slept on the couch for a solid 3 hours. I don't become non-functional with sleep deprivation, like some people, but I am definitely becoming a bit emotionally unstable. The weird sleep schedule screws up my eating, too.

I have ended up on the couch every night for the last week. I seem to be able to sleep on the couch, by myself, much better than with the GF in the bed.

I don't mind the dog (my seven-pound chihuahua usually sleeps with me) but humans really annoy me when I am trying to sleep. My girlfriend, despite my weird sleep schedule (at the best of times, I go to bed 3 or 4 hours later than her), really prefers when we share a bed.

Any thoughts? (I don't like sleeping pills, I try to read to fall asleep but sometimes I just read all night, I get lots of exercise, and I get up every day at 7:15 for work, so you can skip those suggestions.)

Sevenfold
07-18-08, 10:39 AM
I really don't like sleeping in a bed with someone else, although I have had to adapt over the last two years of living with my girlfriend. Does anyone else have this problem? I like to go to bed late, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and get up and do something (read, draw, listen to music). I never slept well in high school and university - 3 or 4 hours was average during the week, then I would catch up on the weekends.

I sleep pretty good when I smoke, but I have not been smoking over the last couple of weeks in a effort to isolate the effects of the active ingredients. The most noticeable effect has been a return to the insomnia and occasional undirected rage I remember from my teen years.

Last night, for example, I forced myself to go to bed at 1 a.m. (I haven't slept well in a week, so I was exhausted.) I got out of bed at 1:30, frustrated and restless, and went for a ride on my motorcycle (I couldn't read anymore, and TV enrages and frustrates me at the best of times). Finally went to bed again at 2:20, then got out of bed at 2:40 and slept on the couch for a solid 3 hours. I don't become non-functional with sleep deprivation, like some people, but I am definitely becoming a bit emotionally unstable. The weird sleep schedule screws up my eating, too.

I have ended up on the couch every night for the last week. I seem to be able to sleep on the couch, by myself, much better than with the GF in the bed.

I don't mind the dog (my seven-pound chihuahua usually sleeps with me) but humans really annoy me when I am trying to sleep. My girlfriend, despite my weird sleep schedule (at the best of times, I go to bed 3 or 4 hours later than her), really prefers when we share a bed.

Any thoughts? (I don't like sleeping pills, I try to read to fall asleep but sometimes I just read all night, I get lots of exercise, and I get up every day at 7:15 for work, so you can skip those suggestions.)


i sleep better on the sofa than i do with my husband, not because of me, but because of him, he tosses and turns all night, and he talks in his sleep, he was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago and he is so active he makes sleeping with him feel like a chore at times,

so your not alone, i dont like taking sleeping pills either i prefer the warm drink and hot bath before bed, he prefers it when we sleep together but i have a severe ADHD child and anouther child with, bi polar, ocd, tourrettes, so i need to sleep

Imnapl
07-18-08, 11:36 AM
Wealthy people have always had the luxury of separate bedrooms. I know several couples who sleep in separate rooms out of necessity.

curseandablessi
07-18-08, 09:53 PM
The hubby and I have slept in sep beds for about 10-12 years. It doesn't effect our intimate relationship negatively.

Imnapl
07-18-08, 11:13 PM
The hubby and I have slept in sep beds for about 10-12 years. It doesn't effect our intimate relationship negatively.It may have even improved it. :)

prtsimmons
07-21-08, 02:54 PM
Thanks for the input. I think separate beds might be the answer - when we move into a bigger place. I think the only problem is that I really like sleeping alone, and my GF really likes having someone there. I'm sure we can work something out.

Sevenfold
07-22-08, 06:03 PM
Thanks for the input. I think separate beds might be the answer - when we move into a bigger place. I think the only problem is that I really like sleeping alone, and my GF really likes having someone there. I'm sure we can work something out.


why dont you, push the single beds together and when you feal the urge to sleep on the couch, seperate the beds

Lunacie
07-22-08, 06:39 PM
I think that was one of the real issues in my marriage. I prefer to sleep alone and he said he slept better with someone beside him, preferrably cuddled up.

I figured the reason I sleep better all by myself is that I am so super sensitive to everything... noises, smells, touch (can only sleep on soft all-cotton sheets) and between his snoring and being bumped or tickled all night I spent the first 15 years of marriage very VERY sleep deprived. I finally moved onto the sofa when I had pneumonia and my coughing was keeping HIM awake and I felt so guilty. But I slept so much better by myself, even with the coughing, that I never went back. Well, not to sleep, anyway.

Mary
07-22-08, 07:08 PM
Luckily we have a king size bed. On the nights I feel claustrophobic... I stuff a couple of pillows between me and my spouse. But.. there are also nights that I need to know he's there.

DeloresMelon
07-22-08, 07:09 PM
I sure can relate. For the majority of my married life, we've slept separately. I need dark and quiet to sleep. He needs the TV on.... ALL NIGHT. Plus, he snores. LOUD. I think the only thing about the entire situation that annoys me is that he doesn't understand. I'm losing sleep and he's annoyed that he's not sleeping in the same bed as his wife. It's all about "tradition" and the "normal thing" for him. Regardless of the fact that I'm miserable.

Growing up, I would even go so far as to tape black electrical tape over the clock on my vcr and turn my alarm clock so it faced the wall. I would yell at my parents to keep turning their tv down as I would go to bed before them.

When I became pregnant with our first, I ended up kicking him out to the spare room, and it's pretty much been that way since. After my son was born, he and I took over the big bed, my husband took over the bed in the baby's room. lol

The arrangement now is my husband on the bottom bunk, my son on the top in the kids room and my daughter and I sleep in the big bed in the master bedroom. My daughter too, seems to prefer the quiet, no TV rule.

We're in the process of finishing my sons new bedroom downstairs, but I'm thinking it's better suited for my husband. lol I've always felt it's more about the actual sleeping, rather than the logistics. If you all sleep, it really shouldn't matter WHERE you are. Sleep is important.

thunderbolt999
03-02-10, 03:26 PM
You should try to sleep in a bed of your own iff you wan tot sleep better. i have that problem as well. If your central nervous system is constantly being stimulated by the presence of another person in bed with you, you will throw off you natural rythms and deplete seratonin, thus it becomes a viscious cycle. ive found some great info on line http://bioprin.posterous.com/tag/serenadin

Lunacie
03-02-10, 04:35 PM
You should try to sleep in a bed of your own iff you wan tot sleep better. i have that problem as well. If your central nervous system is constantly being stimulated by the presence of another person in bed with you, you will throw off you natural rythms and deplete seratonin, thus it becomes a viscious cycle. ive found some great info on line http://bioprin.posterous.com/tag/serenadin

That doesn't seem to be the right linkie?