I'm pretty good at picking up on social cues when it involves other people but in my personal interactions (guys or girls) its never that great. So I need help with this before I spend too much time analyzing.

So this guy and I have always had an "interesting" relationship. He knew I kinda of liked him a year ago, but nothing ever came of it because I quit working at the place he worked, and he was extremely busy and I just gave up. Before I told him I was "interested" in him we had gone out once and it was nice. We always talked, listened to music in his car, etc. He told people he thought i was "cool" but was too busy to get into a relationship. I know that really means, she's great but I don't want to date her. I've read the book "He's just not that into you" so I let it go. Moved on.

Well, fast forward to this year. I would go up to his work and visit with some of my friends up there (yes, and to catch a glimpse of him now and then) He always talked with me and seemed really eager to see me. Well, because of an upcoming trip, I've returned to that job part-time to get some extra cash.

He's been extremely attentive and talkative to me. He's giving me two books (one for my research topic, one for just fun), letting me go to one of his classes to see if I would like his school, and just has been really nice. He even remembered an embarrassing story that I had told everyone the last time I had worked there, even though I never told him personally.

We talked one night, and I got him talking about something he loves so he just followed me around talking to me. Even outside when I had to throw something away. The other day we went to Waffle House..."tried" to get some other people to go but they were all busy or just didn't want to go.

So right before we left, I said "i'll just follow you up there." he was standing beside my car and just nodded and said "um, sure, i mean, if you want..." i thought that was strange considering we both had our cars, of course I would follow him up there.
Strange

I had to do something before we went, so I got there a little bit after him but he was still in his car, waiting for me. we sat down and the lady asked for our order, and I said I wasn't going to get anything because "I'm saving money for the grand canyon" He said, "You want something, I'll pay for it." I was confused, and said no. He asked if I was sure, which I was. Then when his food came, he said "You sure you don't want anything." I'm like, "dude, no, I'm fine." (in my head, out loud i just said yeah, i'm fine.)

Okay, I'm completely confused. Is this guy just being nice? Or I'm I missing some clues...agh! why can't i just be normal and now all this stuff!!!! plus help.

I would say he likes you quite a bit. Sure my buddies might offer to buy me food or lend me books. But I have known these guys for years. All the things just add up to he likes you. It may take some more detective work to find out if he really likes you enough to date you but from what you mentioned it really seems like he does. And if you consider going to the waffle house a date than he has already shown that.
At this point what other hints could he give you besides just saying it?

well, i don't know. i'm pretty clueless. i know that sounds degrading but i'm just being honest. one time, my friend told me that i had had four guys hit on me in one night and i didn't believe it. to me it seemed like i was just talking to some guys about common interests. *rolls eyes* as Alice said in Alice In Wonderland, "I'm pretty good at giving advice. I just have a hard time following it for myself." Meaning, I can tell others what is happening in their situations but I can't do it myself.

Thanks for the help and I really like your signature.

Jabes,

I'm glad you've posted this question. I am someone who has totally ignored cues, missed them, sent incorrect cues and on and on ...

Quick story: I once had a conversation (about a year later) with a woman with whom I went out with for several dates. She said to me, "You wait too long!" She meant that I ignored the energy between us for too too long, almost killing the opportunity to really get romantically involved. That was about 10 years ago, and that experience helped me to reset my "romance detector." Because when I went back to the early dates with this woman, I realized how nervous I was, how uncomfortable I was at key moments ... and strangely enough, I've put 1 and 1 together .... If I'm uncomfortable (not as in the person is a "creep" but awkward in that I'm not sure how to act), it's usually a sign that the other person is interested.

With this in mind, I think this guy is interested in you. He may have changed as in he's not dating someone (maybe he was when you met him before) or he got "clear" on his issues.

So here's the question: what are your intentions, young lady? Are you interested in him? I think you need to decide that question first. And I say do not wait til he expresses an interest before you answer that. Waiting until he expresses an explicit interest is not good because you might end up going along just to go along (I've done that).

well, i don't know. i'm pretty clueless. i know that sounds degrading but i'm just being honest. one time, my friend told me that i had had four guys hit on me in one night and i didn't believe it. to me it seemed like i was just talking to some guys about common interests. *rolls eyes* as Alice said in Alice In Wonderland, "I'm pretty good at giving advice. I just have a hard time following it for myself." Meaning, I can tell others what is happening in their situations but I can't do it myself.

Thanks for the help and I really like your signature.
I am really good at giving advice also, following it is the tough part. I also struggle with identifying when women are flirting with me. I agree I think it is much easier to see flirting when it is happening to other people. Maybe the solution is to just let our friends know that we need to hear more of "Dude that _______ was hitting on you!" That way we can recognize it more often?
As for my insight from a male perspective... I don't really know how a girl would know I was flirting with her. I may give a compliment or something but usually I think I am a pretty low key. I guess the only ways a girl might have a clue is that I am talking to them at all. Or I may offer to help them or give them my time. The only sure way she would know I could come up with would be I would ask her out. I hope this insight is useful. I know it's not much!

Judging from what you've written it could easily be that he's just being a good friend to you.

Ironically, it's the details you missed that are the most important ones: the slight non-verbal gestures that people involuntarily make.

As for the 1 car vs 2 when going to the Waffle house: he was simply being practical. The both of you were going to the same place together, so he simply assumed that would go together in one car to save petrol etc.

If you want to know where you stand, then pluck up the courage and make a move.

I would just ask him. I have had to do that with some women, and said something like, "I really enjoy spending time with you, and I would like to spend some more time with you..." or something like that. Sometimes its like deer in the headlights; they are just not aware that I am that interested in them. You want to date??? Some are complete miss reads on my part. Some are not. Sometimes its, "Yes, I am really interested in you too!"

With ADD, physical queues are often times missed, sometimes even if they are blatant. My ex was incapable of understanding what a physical caress was if I wanted sex. It was weird, but she would not respond at all. Maybe an hour later she would ask me of I had wanted sex when I was touching her... it was baffeling. So I figured out that she needed a verbal equivalent to physical gestures and touch. So I would ask her if she was in the mood for sex. Simple as that.

Asking directly is an excellent solution to this. You've just got to have the guts to do it. But hey, if you're interested, then asking is a no-brainer ...
Speed, you're right about the subtle cues .... those are the cues that make me nervous .... and that's when I know the other is also interested ....