View Full Version : Would you beleive this ...


Colin
07-29-08, 11:32 AM
After spending all day yesterday spell checking my letter to my MP and thinking I would add a few bits to it this morning and send it off, last thing at night I was looking for a few details on my last Psyhciatrists visit to add the final touches.

However when I went to bed i started to get so angry about that last report i couldnt get any sleep. arg i felt so angry ... at least in this forum I feel i dont have to explain any further just how anbgry I can get, but i was good i didnt shout or swear (much) or break anything !

{ive long since been too tired to scream out rude words at the top of my voice in the middle of the night becuase im so frustrated at being denied meds}

anywayay im now halfway through writing a 6 page letter to my psychiatrist instead, and it wil probably end up 13 pages ot more.
and thought id take a break yet i come here and writ this post lol

I cant beleive how totally dependant I am on some form of anger to do anything, I also cant beleive how for the last 13 years anger has been so destructive and unusefull, yet somehow I can channel it now, I think this is becuase I have got rid of the hate. as soon as i run out of anger I know I wil suffer badly from the consequences, im like totaly hyper, yet im normaly going back to bed after being up an hour.

maybe theres another word for it?

once the energy goes il feel awefull, and feel like im going to expire, for days, if the past month or two since i found this energy source is anything to go by.

I was just thinking how similar a lot of the paragraphs are but becuase ones to my MP and one to my psych they are sligtly diferent emphasis, but i think a lot about how its like to have adhd etc, is going to be copied and pasted, thats probably about another 6 pages !

thats the bit that includes the how adults make a cup of tea.

Oh and ive also thought of a great way of explaining things :-

I was always told to try harder , i can still hear it ringing in my ears ! and I was always so bewildered how the hell can anyone try this dam hard and yet i was stil not even achcieving anything like the things they were acheiving, and they were makng it look easy !. this was of course when I was as young as I can remember, so i wasnt realy able to work it out, and never ocured to me since untill i realised I had ADHD.

At least my advocate just rang while writing this, and im going to get him to look at my letter, as part of his job is to help me draft leters, but its difuclt to help me much realy, as its not much easier to get him to do oit than write it down myself, but its someone who should be pretty good at doing letters. hes not the right person to help me draft leters to my MP, shes on holiday lol, but il include it anyway, as its much the same.

I dont reamble do I ? oh heck perhaps I do... this is longer than the quicky two liner i meant to write while waiting for the kettle to boil ... dam i bet its gone cold now !!!!!!!