View Full Version : people with pds


reesah
07-29-08, 01:01 PM
cashmere bluerose and everyone, just checkinig in, how is everyone doing?


and has anyone heard from matt? is he ok?

Sickle
07-31-08, 07:35 PM
and has anyone heard from matt? is he ok?

I don't have a PD or anything but please don't encourage that guy, I hope he never comes back here.

He seemed to get off on being nasty to everyone. I was too scared to join this place because of that guy and the rumor mill around here suggests to me that he is not welcome back here, actually someone who I refuse to name chats with him still and is one of my forum pals and she said he is banned.

I guess that is what you get when you are like he is.

Bluerose
07-31-08, 07:45 PM
reesah,

Hi! I'm doing pretty well. I have posted about how I have been talking to a psych for the first time since the early nineties and she has gave me lots of positive information and feed back that has helped me a lot. Thanks for asking. How are things with you?

reesah
08-06-08, 03:36 AM
ah well, if he's banned that doesn't matter, I just wanted to know if he was ok.

bluerose that's good news! I'm doing all right right now too. I am going hiking this weekend and I hope it re-charges my batteries

cashmere
08-22-08, 04:05 AM
Today i feel that my pd is in the aggresive mold,do other people experience this?.Yesterday i was hiding away,"now" souped up like a racing car/ engine ready to take part in a grand prix.

Maybe its just me,but when i slide into this mood i seem to function more effectively,in my younger years some people thought it was great that i had a mad streak in me.They,I,didn't know i had a disorder,the thing is i'am going up but i've gotter come down.do others go through this.

Lets hope the day finishes better then its started.:cool:

reesah
08-22-08, 06:21 AM
yes, I vary between aggressive and determined, and lazy and calm. Not very much but it's enough fo rme to notice at least. The determined days are the most efficient for me at work to do other tasks than create. the calm times are best for actual creative work.

It's not a big shift but it's definitely there.

cashmere
08-22-08, 11:41 AM
yes, I vary between aggressive and determined, and lazy and calm. Not very much but it's enough fo rme to notice at least. The determined days are the most efficient for me at work to do other tasks than create. the calm times are best for actual creative work.

It's not a big shift but it's definitely there.

How doe's this effect your relationship with others,does it draw you in to conflict or can you weather the storm.

With me its always been total grief, so in the end totally blanked society as a whole and slowly but surely eliminated family/friends one by one to a point of not being able to count fingers on one hand to the people i would bother with.

The coming on to the forums was a step to reconnect with the world,but i am struggling to function normally.:cool:

reesah
08-27-08, 03:22 AM
How doe's this effect your relationship with others,does it draw you in to conflict or can you weather the storm.

With me its always been total grief, so in the end totally blanked society as a whole and slowly but surely eliminated family/friends one by one to a point of not being able to count fingers on one hand to the people i would bother with.

The coming on to the forums was a step to reconnect with the world,but i am struggling to function normally.:cool:


I have a few friends. few. these are people that for one reason or another can handle or understand what I am going through.

I have colleagues. They see me as eccentric and some of them are a bit afraid of me. It doesn't matter- I have kept myself out of positions in which I am responsible for other peoples' work, and so it doesn't matter too much. I mentor a few people and they are probably the most affected by it. I let them know that I have "moods" or "bad turns" and that if I seem in a foul mood, just to give me some space. This works mostly.

Letting people know how I am helps a lot. That way they aren't stunned when I have a bad time.

cashmere this place is good help. You know you can always vent, rant, get angry here. I for one will still be your internet friend no matter what you do.:cool: we are fighting demons and just because others think we're swatting flies is no reason for us to give up

Prusilusken
08-27-08, 04:51 PM
I better check in just for the hell of it, hehe...I'm currently officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is in DK also known as a "Trash Can Diagnosis" since it's not uncommon that a patient gets handed that one if the people treating her/him haven't got a match that fits properly... ;)

No one except the psychiatrist that gave it to me has a clue how he came up with it, but that's my lable for the time being since waiting lists to see an ADHDwise doctor up here are veeeeery looooong...

So anyways: Hi guys!

Hope you are well! :)

reesah
08-27-08, 07:01 PM
hi prusilisken, welcome to our strange thread

cashmere
08-28-08, 02:59 PM
I have a few friends. few. these are people that for one reason or another can handle or understand what I am going through.

I have colleagues. They see me as eccentric and some of them are a bit afraid of me. It doesn't matter- I have kept myself out of positions in which I am responsible for other peoples' work, and so it doesn't matter too much. I mentor a few people and they are probably the most affected by it. I let them know that I have "moods" or "bad turns" and that if I seem in a foul mood, just to give me some space. This works mostly.

Letting people know how I am helps a lot. That way they aren't stunned when I have a bad time.

cashmere this place is good help. You know you can always vent, rant, get angry here. I for one will still be your internet friend no matter what you do.:cool: we are fighting demons and just because others think we're swatting flies is no reason for us to give up


Kind Words there Reesah hows this for starters.

Being accused of having a bad attitude by my therapist during a meeting whilst suffering high aniexty levels.Am relying on this person to help me get rehoused under mentalhealth conditions.

I'am currently living in a bed and breakfast accomodation and this is driving up my health problems,this therapist knows this but as now accused me twice of having attidude problems.

I am feeling quite threatend by the way she is responding towards me and feel trapped by having to rely on her for help when i would like to walk away.

I've had three blind dates all have ended fruitless,I always where dark glasses the meetings begin positive the conversations flow there laughing seem to be enjoying themselves then they start pressurising me into removing the glasses.Once this happens and the miserable schizoid looks are revealed they hit the exit doors quicker then olympian gold medal sprinter.

Today meet this lady for a blind date it was going really well untill she hounded me into removing the glasses,then she left quicker then she came.

I've decided now from today that if they don't accept the glasses on the meet i walked away there and then,what do you think on these issues REESAH/ANYONE i'am really down at the moment.:eek:

reesah
08-28-08, 03:07 PM
Kind Words there Reesah hows this for starters.

Being accused of having a bad attitude by my therapist during a meeting whilst suffering high aniexty levels.Am relying on this person to help me get rehoused under mentalhealth conditions.

I'am currently living in a bed and breakfast accomodation and this is driving up my health problems,this therapist knows this but as now accused me twice of having attidude problems.

I am feeling quite threatend by the way she is responding towards me and feel trapped by having to rely on her for help when i would like to walk away.

I've had three blind dates all have ended fruitless,I always where dark glasses the meetings begin positive the conversations flow there laughing seem to be enjoying themselves then they start pressurising me into removing the glasses.Once this happens and the miserable schizoid looks are revealed they hit the exit doors quicker then olympian gold medal sprinter.

Today meet this lady for a blind date it was going really well untill she hounded me into removing the glasses,then she left quicker then she came.

I've decided now from today that if they don't accept the glasses on the meet i walked away there and then,what do you think on these issues REESAH/ANYONE i'am really down at the moment.:eek:

that sucks that you have to rely on them for housing stuff!
have you told her that your attitude is coming from the situation? try to tell em it's the situation you aree in that's freaking you out; sometimes people calm down when they hear you say it's not them that you are angry about.

ugh blind dates...haha I can't help much there, maybe tell them "I would take them off but I have SCARY EYES!" and then see what they say. Might make them feel bad if they take off after you are honest with them, that you have scary eyes or something and that you think they'll leave if you take off the glasses! or say "I make very intense eyes sometimes and most people don't like it."

I'm rooting for you cashmere even if your eyes are scaring off the blind dates...blind dates are awkward for everybody though, so don't feel too bad about that

cashmere
08-28-08, 03:52 PM
that sucks that you have to rely on them for housing stuff!
have you told her that your attitude is coming from the situation? try to tell em it's the situation you aree in that's freaking you out; sometimes people calm down when they hear you say it's not them that you are angry about.

ugh blind dates...haha I can't help much there, maybe tell them "I would take them off but I have SCARY EYES!" and then see what they say. Might make them feel bad if they take off after you are honest with them, that you have scary eyes or something and that you think they'll leave if you take off the glasses! or say "I make very intense eyes sometimes and most people don't like it."

I'm rooting for you cashmere even if your eyes are scaring off the blind dates...blind dates are awkward for everybody though, so don't feel too bad about that

Your a diamond Reesah,I have explained its not her on both occasions she seems to accept this,but 'i'am having doubts.

She came to the doctors with me last week is fully briefed on my health,yet reacts like this.To make things worse my condition is telling me to get shut of her, but if did would be extremely vunerable.

People can go through transformations in there lifetime but this seems different and i'am becoming frightened because these dates can smile and be sociable towards others.

Today this blind date spotted friends in this bar where we were,they came over and i cowered and felt ackward and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me up.

I can't handle these social situations Reesah,i've always felt ill around most people.But i could handle one on one relationship but other than that am doomed.

There talking about putting me on Risperdone to combat the aniexty issues but i won't take it because it has side effects i drink am overweight and need to deal with these issues first.

If i could get my own place,somewhere quite,think i could overcome the drink and weight situation but the spd is going to be a dragon i'am not sure i can slay.:eek:

reesah
08-28-08, 07:03 PM
Your a diamond Reesah,I have explained its not her on both occasions she seems to accept this,but 'i'am having doubts.

She came to the doctors with me last week is fully briefed on my health,yet reacts like this.To make things worse my condition is telling me to get shut of her, but if did would be extremely vunerable.

People can go through transformations in there lifetime but this seems different and i'am becoming frightened because these dates can smile and be sociable towards others.

Today this blind date spotted friends in this bar where we were,they came over and i cowered and felt ackward and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me up.

I can't handle these social situations Reesah,i've always felt ill around most people.But i could handle one on one relationship but other than that am doomed.

There talking about putting me on Risperdone to combat the aniexty issues but i won't take it because it has side effects i drink am overweight and need to deal with these issues first.

If i could get my own place,somewhere quite,think i could overcome the drink and weight situation but the spd is going to be a dragon i'am not sure i can slay.:eek:
I'm a pretty rough diamond haha
social stuff is hard, so hard. people are idiots for the most part and it can be so awkward to deal with them in groups.

Can you even start like walking somewhere quiet? Is there a cemetery in town you can walk through? Usually they are nice quiet places. and it might work off some weight for you too, or give you something besides the drink to think about.
do you read at all? I read more than I drink. The one keeps me from the other, if you know what I mean.

I wish I had any easy solution for you for all this but at any rate be assured that things always change and if things are abd, they're likely to change for the better.

cashmere
08-29-08, 02:51 AM
I'm a pretty rough diamond haha
social stuff is hard, so hard. people are idiots for the most part and it can be so awkward to deal with them in groups.

Can you even start like walking somewhere quiet? Is there a cemetery in town you can walk through? Usually they are nice quiet places. and it might work off some weight for you too, or give you something besides the drink to think about.
do you read at all? I read more than I drink. The one keeps me from the other, if you know what I mean.

I wish I had any easy solution for you for all this but at any rate be assured that things always change and if things are abd, they're likely to change for the better.

Thanks Reesah i don't think your a rough diamond just a valuable one for being there for people when they need you.

I've decided that on my next date the glasses stay on,if the lady in question don't like it,will get up and walk away.

I've got to change tactics stop them demoralising me,become more self assured give em attitude if need be.They don't seem to be bothered about being blunt with me,so like what they say whats good for the goose is good for the gander.:)

Bluerose
08-29-08, 02:54 AM
Forgive me for coming in here, cashmere. I can’t help feeling that perhaps you are doing too much all at once. I wonder if it might be better to deal with the housing thing first and then the social thing? I prefer to seriously limit doing anything that makes me feel particularly uncomfortable. To me it’s like torturing myself, the pain and discomfort are self-inflicted. I have learned, I think, to be more selective. I don’t completely avoid things that make me uncomfortable but I do limit the time I will spend in an uncomfortable situation.

As for your attitude towards that person who is supposed to be helping you. Personally, I don’t think it’s your attitude that is the problem. I think she is lacking in some important skills for doing her job. It should be understood that people dealing with the kind of things you are dealing with will have an attitude, an attitude of frustration and impatience. It should be part of her job to recognise that and be more understanding. I hope the housing thing works out soon so that you can distance yourself from this person. I have my fingers crossed for you.

cashmere
08-29-08, 08:10 AM
Forgive me for coming in here, cashmere. I canít help feeling that perhaps you are doing too much all at once. I wonder if it might be better to deal with the housing thing first and then the social thing? I prefer to seriously limit doing anything that makes me feel particularly uncomfortable. To me itís like torturing myself, the pain and discomfort are self-inflicted. I have learned, I think, to be more selective. I donít completely avoid things that make me uncomfortable but I do limit the time I will spend in an uncomfortable situation.

As for your attitude towards that person who is supposed to be helping you. Personally, I donít think itís your attitude that is the problem. I think she is lacking in some important skills for doing her job. It should be understood that people dealing with the kind of things you are dealing with will have an attitude, an attitude of frustration and impatience. It should be part of her job to recognise that and be more understanding. I hope the housing thing works out soon so that you can distance yourself from this person. I have my fingers crossed for you.

Thanks Reesah and you for the post Bluerose,you could be right about rushing things but untill i can get out of this b&b am snookered.All the people in the b&b have different pd's so i can't relax in the place,everybodys trying to keep quite for each other so theres a feeling of being under pressure.

The authorities are considering upping my prioirity for rehousing and know my plight.Because i'am motivated enough to want to give up drinking start an exercise/diet programme and carry on fighting the spd have to try and mix with people.

Its frustrating but i have to try and stay motivated and your right about the frustration and impatience it is there maybe i am trying to hard.
I feel i have to continue to see this person or lose the support for my housing application.:cool:

Bluerose
08-29-08, 08:37 AM
Well I hope you hear some good news soon.

Prusilusken
08-29-08, 10:43 AM
Hi Cashmere, I hope it's okay if I butt in a bit here, but maybe I'll be able to give some insight, I don't know.

I've always been told I'm empathic to a fault, so I though I'd try to give some suggestions about how your dates may feel?
I may not be right at all, but you never know. :)

May I ask how you get in contact with these blind dates?
Is there no way you can prepare them for those "scary eyes"?

I myself would be somewhat creeped out if I had a blind date who wanted to keep his glasses on. Maybe even become a bit paranoid...That already says "something not all normal is up with that guy"
...so maybe they're already a bit scared before you take off those glasses, and then because of the feeling of underlying drama, they react the more to your eyes.
Maybe you even make it worse for yourself because you know your eyes can look scary, and you tense up before taking off your shades, making matters worse?

And btw - may I get a glimpse of those eyes in discussion - maybe by PM?
Only if you feel comfortable with it of course.
We don't know each other, and I completely respect if you don't want to show me.
I am just thinking that maybe I can take a look at them and understand better what you mean when you write "schizoid eyes"?

You say before you take your glasses off, conversations flow and there is laughing.
Do you know if you are any good at spotting if your dates are "chattering and laughing nervously"? I'm just wondering, because I'm can be a nervous chatterer myself, and have rarely been "caught" as that by people who don't know me very well. So sometimes strangers think I'm very happy and relaxed and having a great time, when my insides are nervous and feel like leaving.

Oh, and how do you respond when you feel that your dates (or anyone else) are being blunt with you, or if they ask you to take your glasses off?

Another thing:
The date who invited her friends to join you on a first date.
In Denmark that would be considered a bit weird on her part - some may even say disrespectful or that she had very bad sense of the situation. It may be different overthere, I don't know. But:

Is there a possibility that she invited those friends over because she didn't feel comfortable with you but found it rude to leave, so instead she "called for backup" to make herself feel more safe and comfortable?
I mean not to make things hard for you, but to give herself some support?
I think most "normal" people feel safer and more relaxed in groups, and especially if they know some of the others beforehand. Then it's easier for them to include a stranger and still feel safe.

Just a few thoughts from me.

Prusilusken
08-29-08, 10:51 AM
Oh, news have happened while I wrote my post, I see.

I think Bluerose may be right about prioritizing to get a place to stay as a first thing way above any dating issues or anything.

I keep my fingers crossed that you get a place of your own soon, Cashmere.

And I think it's very admirable that you keep fighting for yourself!
You have a lot on your plate to deal with, but I'm sure you'll come through.
It sounds to ME like your attitude is the least of you problems right now.
If I were your therapist I think I'd give you a break.
But that's just me, right? ;)

cashmere
08-29-08, 11:07 AM
Hi Cashmere, I hope it's okay if I butt in a bit here, but maybe I'll be able to give some insight, I don't know.

I've always been told I'm empathic to a fault, so I though I'd try to give some suggestions about how your dates may feel?
I may not be right at all, but you never know. :)

May I ask how you get in contact with these blind dates?
Is there no way you can prepare them for those "scary eyes"?

I myself would be somewhat creeped out if I had a blind date who wanted to keep his glasses on. Maybe even become a bit paranoid...That already says "something not all normal is up with that guy"
...so maybe they're already a bit scared before you take off those glasses, and then because of the feeling of underlying drama, they react the more to your eyes.
Maybe you even make it worse for yourself because you know your eyes can look scary, and you tense up before taking off your shades, making matters worse?

And btw - may I get a glimpse of those eyes in discussion - maybe by PM?
Only if you feel comfortable with it of course.
We don't know each other, and I completely respect if you don't want to show me.
I am just thinking that maybe I can take a look at them and understand better what you mean when you write "schizoid eyes"?

You say before you take your glasses off, conversations flow and there is laughing.
Do you know if you are any good at spotting if your dates are "chattering and laughing nervously"? I'm just wondering, because I'm can be a nervous chatterer myself, and have rarely been "caught" as that by people who don't know me very well. So sometimes strangers think I'm very happy and relaxed and having a great time, when my insides are nervous and feel like leaving.

Oh, and how do you respond when you feel that your dates (or anyone else) are being blunt with you, or if they ask you to take your glasses off?

Another thing:
The date who invited her friends to join you on a first date.
In Denmark that would be considered a bit weird on her part - some may even say disrespectful or that she had very bad sense of the situation. It may be different overthere, I don't know. But:

Is there a possibility that she invited those friends over because she didn't feel comfortable with you but found it rude to leave, so instead she "called for backup" to make herself feel more safe and comfortable?
I mean not to make things hard for you, but to give herself some support?
I think most "normal" people feel safer and more relaxed in groups, and especially if they know some of the others beforehand. Then it's easier for them to include a stranger and still feel safe.

Just a few thoughts from me.

Sorry to hi-jack the thread Reesah no bad intentions meant,to answer you
prusilusken i will pm my reply to you.thanks REEsah.

Prusilusken
08-29-08, 11:12 AM
Okay, Cashmere. :)

Yeah, sorry Reesah...:o

reesah
08-31-08, 06:57 PM
don't be sorry there's no real topic to stay on in here hahaha

it's just for us to talk about what's going on with us and this is going on!

cashmere how are things going with your home situation?

cashmere
09-01-08, 03:12 AM
don't be sorry there's no real topic to stay on in here hahaha

it's just for us to talk about what's going on with us and this is going on!

cashmere how are things going with your home situation?

There reaching crisis point,not just from the housing point i'am becoming tired of trying to motivate myself.Its sixteen years since my life was anything like normal but these last twelve months have tied to rekindle it.

So the rebellious streak is starting to kick in,and i will eliminate people very shortly who are starting to annoy me,ie my therapist who has flaunted herself in front of me and think's i haven't noticed her sending out the signals,you need me,you rely on me ,you can't manage without me,i'am helping you,do think i'am still attractive.

This whole life is meaningless and can't remember anything happy about it as i type.I'am trapped inside this trunk not able to escape theres only "lets go mental left".The scales of justice balanced between life and death with nothing in between.I seem to get a high off having run ins with people seeing them back down,they misjudging me thinking that i have no courage that once weak always weak.

There facial expressions the way they change when they realise there is a fire burning deep within me.Today is going to be one of those days Reesah no one will mess with my psych i can feel the strengh of several spirits rising up within my soul.I'am due to meet "do you love me"in a couple of hours if i flip she will end up in tears and my therapy days will be well and truly over.:cool:Got to dash,CASH.

strange&unusual
09-03-08, 08:43 PM
Cashmere I hope things turn out okay and that you don't suffer anymore hardships.
It must be extremely difficult when your therapist is adding to your woes.
Take care

cashmere
09-18-08, 03:03 AM
I hope your sleep patterns are back on track Reesah.:cool:

reesah
09-23-08, 06:37 PM
I've just been given temazepam and started on it last night. we'll see if it works...

cashmere
09-24-08, 05:42 AM
I've just been given temazepam and started on it last night. we'll see if it works...

Trust your own instincts first,good luck anyway.:cool:

reesah
09-24-08, 05:46 AM
Trust your own instincts first,good luck anyway.:cool:


it worked ok! and I'm glad.
how is everything with you, cashmere? are you feeling well today?:)

cashmere
09-24-08, 11:04 AM
it worked ok! and I'm glad.
how is everything with you, cashmere? are you feeling well today?:)

I'am still fighting the housing issue Reesah and just got back into keep fit,i'am going to try to lose some weight because my blood pressure has been high.

Winter is not far away and i am not looking forward to it,yet when i was younger much prefered it to any other season.

Its been a really bad year Reesah one of the worst i can remember,lets hope the last quarter of it is happier for us all.

Then christmas i feel so depressed thinking about that one,do i ever stop moaning Reesah.take care Cashmere.:cool:

Bluerose
09-24-08, 12:02 PM
Cashmere,

Who else you going to moan to but your cyber buddies.
Take care. I hope things brighten up soon.

cashmere
09-24-08, 01:30 PM
Cashmere,

Who else you going to moan to but your cyber buddies.
Take care. I hope things brighten up soon.

If the do brighten up Bluerose lets hope its not just the lights on the christmas tree.:cool:

reesah
09-24-08, 05:09 PM
I don't mind the moaning, I do my share here too! (of moaning )

winter is indeed on the way. It's chilly here already, getting nice and crisp. I like autumn the best.

bad years eventually end and good years come after. that's how it always goes

Bluerose
09-25-08, 12:24 AM
Well let's face it, it couldn't get any worse.
The only way is up.
Onwards and upwards, troops. :)

reesah
09-25-08, 05:44 AM
how are you doing bluerose? things settling down?

Bluerose
09-25-08, 09:56 AM
Had a little problem with grandson not wanting to go to school but we got it sorted. I'm doing pretty okay just now. Thanks for asking. How are you doing?

reesah
09-29-08, 03:07 AM
I'm extra busy with work stuff right now, got a show or 2 coming up and have to get prepared, and a work trip too this month now.

I've been feeling down a bit too. I think from the stress of so much work to do. but otherwise ok. even keel. thanks for asking

Bluerose
09-29-08, 03:27 AM
It might seem like a heavy load but it does keep you busy. Sometimes having too much time to think is worse. Remember, small steps. You'll do just fine. Good luck with everything you have going on at the moment. I hope you have a great week.

reesah
10-08-08, 12:28 AM
how are you guys doing? everyone all right?

I'm still stressed but I'm about half done with everything, my work trip starts tomorrow so that's all right now too. cashmere what's up with your housing now? bluerose you doing ok?

I'm just checkin in. I feel more comfortable in this section with you guys than out in the open forum right now

cashmere
10-11-08, 04:26 PM
how are you guys doing? everyone all right?

I'm still stressed but I'm about half done with everything, my work trip starts tomorrow so that's all right now too. cashmere what's up with your housing now? bluerose you doing ok?

I'm just checkin in. I feel more comfortable in this section with you guys than out in the open forum right now

Hi Reesah,hope those dark clouds have passed by,and the work trip went down well.

NO news on the housing front,i'am still locked down in the b+b,have considered living in the wild,its getting desperate,paranoia is pretty bad,depression not lifting,motivation disappearing,officialdom useless as per usual,dating game still driving me nuts or should i say still meeting plenty,text mania's are the worst,going to give it a complete rest, as Bob Marley used to sing"no woman no cry":(

reesah
10-11-08, 07:02 PM
cashmere I pictured walt whitman when you said "living in the wild"
I hope things start to look up for you soon!

Bluerose
10-12-08, 06:08 AM
I join that hope.

Luck and best wishes to you both.