I guess I'll never stop learning about myself with a SO that keeps pointing out things.

Turns out that I can leave out important facts when talking.

She and I were discussing that my nephew was going to sell his hybrid Honda Civic. I pointed out that it was too bad that he didn't work out a deal with his brother to get the car, since it's great on gas mileage. She then pointed out to me that it's not paid for yet, and he needs to sell it to get out from under payments.

She then said I should get it. I went on to say that I'm nursing my car as long as I can till they've developed new and more fuel efficient cars, then I'll buy one. She then insisted I'd never be able to afford one of those. Well, I told her that I was talking about buying a used hybrid. She was a little upset, she thought I was turning things around on her.

I guess my whole point here is, I had the whole conversation worked out in my head but parts of it never get sent out to the recipient. I left out the part that I was interested in buying a used hybrid, but won't do it till the prices come down. I jumped to " I'm nursing my car as long as I can till they've developed new and more efficient cars, then I'll buy one." (one-an older used hybrid).

I don't quite have it figured out, how I'll catch myself leaving out that important piece of info. It's as though I feel my entire train of thought is being given to the other party. I hope this makes sense, I just know it's a common communication gap that happens with me.

Anyone understand and got any clues as to how to train yourself not to do this?

This is really frustrating. Just like you were describing, I have everything I want to say sitting in my mind, but I just skip over bits of it. I also often feel like I don't know where to start when I'm trying to explaing things and end up sounding like I don't know what I'm talking about.

I think it's kind of a symptom of having poor structure to my thoughts. Instead of moving through relevant thoughts in order, my thoughts kind of skip around and I end up missing bits. And then people wonder how I came to a particular conclusion because I didn't really explain how I got there.

This also causes a few other problems for me. Like, when I try to answer a question, I often end up rambling about related ideas without directly addressing the question. I kind of dance around what I want to say and end up saying not very much.

The only thing I've found that really fixes this is medication, which is unfortunately starting to lose its effectiveness for me.

When I'm unmedicated, to help this problem I try to think in bullet points. Before I start talking, I try to imagine a few main points that cover what I want to say, and then try and keep them in my mind while I'm talking. It's hard to do, but I think it helps a little.

If i may be honest, it sounds like she got a a little upset for nothing. my "perfect" husband tends to leave out significant points now and then.

It was simple misunderstanding. She really didn't need to take it personally. Then again, I wasn't privy to the actual conversation. Just sounded like that to me.

:o

so my head's about to drop off -
(can't really conentrate)

so (too) briefly

:-)


the answer's here some place

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_E._Shannon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_theory

'll be back with more as soon as I can stop the deranged lunatic who's striking up a beat in my lil' so'r head.

lol, A little more in depth than I was looking for. I skimmed through the links and got the jist of things.

Guess I still need to get an idea of how not to leave out the link to the punch line.:o

If i may be honest, it sounds like she got a a little upset for nothing. my "perfect" husband tends to leave out significant points now and then.

It was simple misunderstanding. She really didn't need to take it personally. Then again, I wasn't privy to the actual conversation. Just sounded like that to me.

:o
She tends to take most things personnally, I just tend to try and overlook that part and try to learn from the experiance.:)