Is flirting a symptom of ADD? How do I stop? LOL. I have no problem not flirting too new people I meet but I'm realizing I have a little trouble with friends I used to have. Like one guy I had a huge crush on and we've kinda kept in touch off and on. One day we were IMing and things almost went too far. I like flirting with him on the computer! (I've calmed it down because I scared myself. LOL)

I ran across another guy I knew on MySpace. Haven't seen him in ages. Unless he's changed, I don't think he'd mind my flirting with him. I wrote him a normal e-mail yesterday. Today I noticed he had 68 friends on there. Well if he accepts me, I'd be #69! And actually he was the one who told me what that number meant! Way back when we were watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and I didn't know what big deal about that number was "69 dude!!!". He TOLD me, not showed me. LOL.

Ok, with guys I don't personally know, I'd love to flirt with also but I refrain. But I feel guilty with these two guys since I'm married!! (and to think I was so shy in high school!) Anyone else have that problem?

Yeah I like it over the computer as well, but put me in front of a girl in real life, they may as well be aliens. i don't speak thier language, or they don't speak mine....

Or either I start speaking in tongues?
Christ, it's terrible.

I'm a huge flirt. Online or in person. It's fun when you get a little back and forth going on. I'm good about not flirting with girls if I think they're really into me, though. Don't want to lead them on or anything.

I have been told repeatedly in my life that i am a big flirt. I don't see it, in fact i am so oblivious to flirtation from either direction that i don't realize i have been a flirter or a flirtee until about five minutes after the kissing starts.

But i think i have read that it is one of those commonly found ADDer traits, maybe because the thrill of it gives you a little bump of dopamine?

I have been told repeatedly in my life that i am a big flirt. I don't see it, in fact i am so oblivious to flirtation from either direction that i don't realize i have been a flirter or a flirtee until about five minutes after the kissing starts.

But i think i have read that it is one of those commonly found ADDer traits, maybe because the thrill of it gives you a little bump of dopamine?

I'd agree with that. From my personal standpoint, bantering with people is stimulating. You have to try to figure out what they're going to say and how to respond in a way to build sexual attraction, etc. It's exciting stuff.

I have been told I am like that but I don't know when I'm doing it....The weird thing is...when I actually TRY to do it, I am so horribly bad at it! I also am oblivious to being flirted with....

I too am married Uneek, my husband and I agree, that harmless banter is ok..makes you feel attractive again and stuff. But there is that line

oops I hit post accidentally. Any way you know when something is too far. And as long as nobody is mislead or hurt or crossed the line its ok..in my opinion...but I should tell you I have offedned alot of people too!

It's something that gives me a big hit of whatever my brain needs. Since I'm married it's a problem and something that I don't notice until it's too late.

I'm particularly vulnerable as i like to play with language and weave flirty comments into my conversation without thinking..... comments which get picked up by women with similar enjoyments as me..... which is why it's so difficult and dangerous.

Trying to self censor just leaves me saying nowt and looking like a real dork....and most guys are just too tedious to talk to......!

The best is when I'm able to flirt with someone that I trust can keep the flirting as just flirting.... then I can let my mind run and let it ride that big neurochemical wave.


kilt

I agree Kilted...there has to be an understanding of sorts....like surfing a neurochemical wave! haha! I like that description! It's a certain type of person with a certain type of humor and bantering wit! :)

is flirting a symptom of ADD?This is a really interesting subject.

Searching information about dopamine and brain chemistry I stumbled on several studies linking dopamine release to the chemistry of falling in love and the search and selection of a mate (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15928068?ordinalpos=10&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16255001?ordinalpos=7&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsP anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum)). This is of course a biological step to drive us to reproduction (although we humans have structured love to go beyond the attraction phase to make family the foundation of our society, so to speak) Interestingly Dopamine is a transmitter that we ADHD patients are deficient on, so it makes a lot of sense to think that by flirting we are in fact "medicating" ourselves with our very own enogenous drugs. I am not suggesting that all people flirting on line are ADHD, but it can be a trait of the condition.

One thing I am sure about: If you are married and do not want to damage your relationship, flirting on line is a really bad idea - Been there- tragic!

If you're feeling guilty.. then you've probably gotten a lot closer to... going too far.

One thing to always remember... how would you feel... if your hubby was caught doing the same thing?

Don't get me wrong... I've flirted, but-- I had to learn to draw the line before it jeopardized everything.

If you want to flirt.. keep it to light flirting and stay away from the heavy innuendoes.

I've read too many stories and even know someone who threw away her life because she *fell in love* with some guy online. Then again, some online relationships work out. But ... why put yourself or your family at risk?

Just my opinion.

Mary,

you are so good at putting what Im thinking into sensible words! :)

I am a flirt also. Most of the time I don't know it, but when I think back it I relize that I did it.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with flirting. Enjoying your sexuality is an important part of who we are as human beings, and being able to play with that makes life just that much more sweeter. There is a line that can be crossed though and there are no rules spelling out where that line is. I tend to think of flirting as verbal play, innuendo, and humour. For me touching crosses the line, and a direct question, breaks the unpsoken contract of play, to become something more serious. As a guy I'm tempted to say that men take flirting to seriously and often wind up expecting more than what is being offered, but experience has shown me that women can also have the same miscommunicated expectations. What a complicated mess it all is, but then that's what makes it fun.

So SfumatoPants....whatch dooing later??? :P

Very good point! well written!

I think flirting is normal human behavior. Its not significant if its related to ADD behavior. Even if you are ADD lets face it then everything you do is related! so whats the point of thinking about it.

Not like i have to say this to you but excessive flirting of course leads to....well u know. and that *ahem* is pretty destructive when done outside the context of marriage. OK! I said it! Yes...im old fashioned damnit! but its true....look at people who are really promiscuious and then look at the boring saps who arent. Who looks hellahuva lot more happier, stable, and trustworthy?

Mr. Flanders or Bart.

LOL. Well THAT was interesting and right on topic! Just before my lunch break (right now), I had a call from a guy. Definately falls under this category. From the way he was sounding, it sounded like he had ADHD. First off he said I have a nice name. I'm definately not going to go through our conversation (for one thing it's confidential! LOL) but he did say he was married. He was kinda reminding me of myself, and what other people have said on this thread. Very nice to hear it from the other end. I don't think he was flirting to be cheating on his wife. Wasn't any sexual innuendo. So what's the difference between flirting and just being nice and talkative? Hmmm.....At the end of the conversation, we were talking about how you can't take money into Heaven. Or anything else. I said it would be nice to take memories (I MEANT physical momentos. Like souvineers) so he was wondering if you do take memories to Heaven (I suppose so...) and he was gonna ask someone. I told him to let me know because now I'm curious. He said he doesn't know how to get ahold of me and I told him he knew my phone number (the number he called even though someone else might answer. LOL). Actually, I could've (but wouldn't) write down his number too! Now if he'd actually call to let me know (assuming it actually bugs his brain until he finds out!) then that would be a work no-no. Oops. LOL. I don't actually want him to try calling me back though.

Now, concerning the way he was acting, it would be a trip if it was one of you guys!!! LOL. Did one of you call me????? I don't remember the name or where he lives, nor do I care.....

That was pretty harsh Y00ch.

we all have our past issues...again I really think it depends on your definition of flirting. Anything you do in excess can lead you down the wrong path! :)

That was pretty harsh Y00ch.

we all have our past issues...again I really think it depends on your definition of flirting. Anything you do in excess can lead you down the wrong path! :)


You are definitley entitled to your own opinion. As well as i am. I'm just telling it how i think it should be. I see a lot of destruction and sexual promiscuity in this country. We think its all fun and games. Of course it is. Its what the tv teaches us. But is it really?

....look at people who are really promiscuious and then look at the boring saps who arent. Who looks hellahuva lot more happier, stable, and trustworthy?

Mr. Flanders or Bart.

I could care less how i happy i "look" to anybody and my trustworthy-ness has exactly nothing to do with who or how many people i have slept with, but rather how much my friends and family can count on me. And they can.

And how promiscuous has Bart been, exactly? I fail to see the logic in any of that comment.

"Look" meaning observe people. Not as in how I superficially act or look.
and you should care what people think. You dont want to offend people. Lots of people offended leaves a very unhappy world. This is simple stuff. Things people have failed to learn. ugh....its a hopeless battle. Forget it.

"Look" meaning observe people. Not as in how I superficially act or look.
and you should care what people think. You dont want to offend people. Lots of people offended leaves a very unhappy world. This is simple stuff. Things people have failed to learn. ugh....its a hopeless battle. Forget it.

I fail to see what this has to do with flirting. They way I see it, both parties leave feeling happy after flirting. Lots of happy people leaves a very happy world. This is simple stuff.

I fail to see what this has to do with flirting. They way I see it, both parties leave feeling happy after flirting. Lots of happy people leaves a very happy world. This is simple stuff.

Well said,.. it hasnt a thing to do with looking, I flirt when I can't see a thing.

Or for all i know, it could be an 80 year old man, that appears to be a very ... hot girl... who cares though, as long as I don't find out.

"Look" meaning observe people. Not as in how I superficially act or look.
and you should care what people think. You dont want to offend people. Lots of people offended leaves a very unhappy world. This is simple stuff. Things people have failed to learn. ugh....its a hopeless battle. Forget it.


When you're talking about harmless flirting, indeed.... it IS a hopeless battle. as though the world hasnt been left unhappy as it is....

You are definitley entitled to your own opinion. As well as i am. I'm just telling it how i think it should be. I see a lot of destruction and sexual promiscuity in this country. We think its all fun and games. Of course it is. Its what the tv teaches us. But is it really?

y00ch of course we are allowed our own opinions. But you are lumping a bunch of people together AND passing judgement!

We were talking about flirting and is isn't always about sex or end up that way. If you are worried about offending people. Think about how you might have made anyone who made some bad choices feel! Again, and I can't stress this enough, you know your limit and what your definintion is. You have to accept what someone else's may be!:rolleyes:

"do not look at the past with regret, the future with anticipation, Look around you with awareness"

"do not look at the past with regret, the future with anticipation, Look around you with awareness"


And intent to flirt.

*flirts*

* batts eyelashes*

Somebody gave me negative rep points because I was "confusing" of course they didn't own up to it....:(

OHHHHH>.. THAT red box.... ya, i got one too.

apparently, someone that doesnt appreciate the fine art of flirting.

LOL! that red box! you got one too? man, you cant to that to everybody you disagree with!

anyway....harmless banter doesn't always have catastrophic relsults!

Batting eyelashes?

Are you flirting with me?

who me? oh no no no I just lost my um, contact ! (nudge nudge, wink wink)

I'll help you find it...

* bumps heads*

Yeah, this is a problem for me at the moment. I've been with my guy for 3 months... which is actually the longest relationship I've been in. It wasn't so much I was a commitment phobe as I hadn't met a really good guy. I have a few friends I chat to online and the talk can turn pretty cluttered with innuendo.

I'd never do anything with them in real life but I know I have to rein it in because I am playing with fire... I know the 'rules' are that you're supposed to fall in love with someone and that blots out thoughts of everyone else... but I'm struggling with this. Is everyone meant to be naturally monogamous? Or is it just the ADD talking?

In my past relationships, flirting with others was something that we both just did, I am still in my early 20's if that counts but I never really got too jealous because I was going to do the same thing and jealousy is a cover up for that kind of thing, and flirting seemed to be just some thing I did in the past.

I was going to marry my most recent ex but she was jealous and I know that the origin of jealousy tends to be from one's own behavior and if I was going to be sucked into that I would've played into her projective identification. Sure enough, I was on her computer to check my email one day and two instant message things popped up and they were messages from guys that had enough for me to say 'bye bye'. The psych major in real life can be an advantage but it can be annoying too, and sad when you figure things out faster knowing what you know.

Oh well, I am over that, it is a sad point in my life although I can relate to flirting and such, I must say that although it is not always worth getting worried about, it can be.

As I get older, I think that may change.

flirting...ah flirting. Some scientists believe that it is a biological process, you know survival of the species etc. Insects flirt in the mating ritual as do most species.

I'm not going to launch into some sociological plus biological spiel because I am at work and I don't want to bore the crap out of anyone...

carry on...and have fun

You're hot when you're intellectual.

i think this is the part where Graham Chapman (RIP) would come in saying "Alright, stop that... it's much too silly"

*chuckles uncontrollably*


You're great MK..


That was totally NOT flirting , man..

You're hot when you're intellectual.

The color of your font really gets me going...

That was totally NOT flirting , man..

funny thing is, someone can be as direct as "You're hot when..." with me, and it just bounces right off. Later (after an hour or two to think about it) i say, "Hey, i think they were flirting with me?!" But it's too late, i'm on the bridge heading home.

Sigh. I need the flirtmaster Mindspin to be my wingman.

Anytime MK, been a long time since i had myself a good wingman, i'd have your back.

i think this is the part where Graham Chapman (RIP) would come in saying "Alright, stop that... it's much too silly"

Graham Chapman was a legend. This thread could possibly do with a few yellowbeard quotes

The color of your font really gets me going...Oh?


I can type it


All


NIGHT


LONG!

* puts sexy music into the CD player*

you have an font with endurance.... how alluring

Funny.

Graham Chapman was a legend. This thread could possibly do with a few yellowbeard quotes

OMG - it has been too long. Decades, i believe.

:runs off to update the ol' queue:

i think this is the part where Graham Chapman (RIP) would come in saying "Alright, stop that... it's much too silly"

Just do what I do and assume they're always flirting with you.