I was reading an article on ADHD today, and ran across a word I didn't recognize -- "egosyntonic ". It was listed as one reason ADHD in adults was difficult to treat.

This is a novelty for me -- I'm a trivial and rare word collector, and spotting one in my field glasses that I can't identify sends me off to a dictionary at once.

There, I found a definition: "Ego-syntonic -- Consistent with one's sense of self, as opposed to ego-alien or dystonic (foreign to one's sense of self). Ego-syntonic traits typify patients with personality disorders."

After puzzling over this a bit I realized what it meant. ADHD in adults can be hard to treat because adults have identified many or all of its symptoms as recognized and often valued parts of their selves.

One typical ADHD quality which I have identified as one of my strengths is my ability to change my plans or even my whole living circumstances literally on a dime. When I took a term position out of town a couple of years ago, I had the house rented and was moved and in the new job 26 days after I first heard of the job. When I awaken in the morning the day might go the way it always does -- or I MIGHT see the sun set 4200 miles away in Bristol, instead.

Yes, it's a strength, it makes me confident and inquisitive. But the fact that I have such a skill is probably a side-effect of having a life with no rudder or compass. It's just a good thing I don't have piles of money, or I'd be even worse.

And all this zooming around is wasteful of my resources, too. It is costly to build a new life on a moment's notice.

Luckily, the treatment of ADHD doesn't require me to give up this skill. But I can truthfully say I would grieve if I ever had to prune it.

But I already grieve because I have never had its opposite -- the ability to settle on a course of action or a goal and steadily pursue it over months or years. Would I trade the one skill for the other? I have no idea, but perhaps that reluctance is part of why I would never consider antidepressants as an ADHD treatment. With stimulants, it seems that one can step in and out of a different self -- having a choice between the old nimble self and an unfamiliar but useful steady, responsible self*. But antidepressants are 24 hour a day 365 days a year -- less choice about which self you want to wear today.

Ducky
~what a wandering topic!~

(*) Or so I understand it. Since my meds aren't stabilized (or very effective) yet, I don't know from my own experience. --D

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I am going to study the concept further in the weeks to come.

After puzzling over this a bit I realized what it meant. ADHD in adults can be hard to treat because adults have identified many or all of its symptoms as recognized and often valued parts of their selves.

what i find hard to understand (myself) and explain to others is the self awareness of our symptoms to the degree we do , yet being unable to fix the problem. sometimes at work i find myself darting around trying to do 5 things at once because it's all in-front of me. and then when i finally realize it i can slow myself down take a breath and re-group. but i don't always realize it and by then here i am looking like a chicken with my head cut off to others. this would be a way of managing the symptoms, but i have no way of curing it regardless of how coherent i am of them!!!

Yes, it's a strength, it makes me confident and inquisitive. But the fact that I have such a skill is probably a side-effect of having a life with no rudder or compass. It's just a good thing I don't have piles of money, or I'd be even worse.

so true, but sometimes i wish i had that rudder or compass because it would help me zone in and utilize my talents better. maybe help me become more successful overall.