View Full Version : How can i live without you


cashmere
08-08-08, 07:37 PM
Like Michael Bolton's song went how can i live without you,26 years of marriage gone in the blink of an eyelid,all through spd.

Where do i meet an opposite who has spd or similar.:cool:

sloppitty-sue
08-08-08, 07:50 PM
What is spd? Schizoid personality disorder?

If that is the case, I would think that you wouldn't be interested in meeting anyone else (or anybody at all in the first place). Were you actually diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in personality disorders?

Sincerely curious,
Sue

MJwatson
08-08-08, 07:51 PM
Cashmere, I don't know anything about spd or losing 26 years of marriage.....but I remember awhile back....you gave me kind words and much needed support. :)

I hate that someone as caring as you is going through this....I wish I knew more information that would help....

But I am here to listen, PM if you want......really!

**HUG**

cashmere
08-08-08, 08:12 PM
What is spd? Schizoid personality disorder?

If that is the case, I would think that you wouldn't be interested in meeting anyone else (or anybody at all in the first place). Were you actually diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in personality disorders?

Sincerely curious,
Sue

Sexy Sue there's the covert and overt spd,the covert can be a really considerate one on one lover.The overt however would be like a nun in a whatever.Try reading Salmon Acktars spd spec.LOTS OF LOVE AND HOT KISSES CASHMERE.

cashmere
08-08-08, 08:23 PM
:cool:Cashmere, I don't know anything about spd or losing 26 years of marriage.....but I remember awhile back....you gave me kind words and much needed support. :)

I hate that someone as caring as you is going through this....I wish I knew more information that would help....

But I am here to listen, PM if you want......really!

**HUG**

Thankyou so much i love your smiling happy face you look fun to be around,don't let Cashmere spoil your lovely out going personality.

A lovely big hug back to you to,I feel with age that i want to return to my teenage years of falling in love with all the lovely ladies on this planet.

I surrender.:cool:

sloppitty-sue
08-08-08, 09:14 PM
Try reading Salmon Acktars spd spec


Will do, and thanks for this info and suggestion. (I was worried that I sounded cold and *****y in my reply. So glad you didn't take it that way. And how the heck did you know how sexy I was? I always try to be covert about it ;-)

Sincerely,
S. Sue

reesah
08-09-08, 02:36 AM
big toothsome hugs to you cashmere

cashmere
08-09-08, 06:49 AM
Will do, and thanks for this info and suggestion. (I was worried that I sounded cold and *****y in my reply. So glad you didn't take it that way. And how the heck did you know how sexy I was? I always try to be covert about it ;-)

Sincerely,
S. Sue

People say i have Romany Gypsy ways so maybe i have some fortune telling ways,I knew you were sexy because all you lovely ladies are sexy but thanks for the concern.love Cashmere.:cool:

cashmere
08-09-08, 06:51 AM
big toothsome hugs to you cashmere

Thanks Reesah hope the hiking trip went down ok.

reesah
08-17-08, 04:02 AM
it was excellent. thanks for asking cashmere.

Bluerose
08-17-08, 08:37 AM
cashmere,

I'm sad that you're sad. It takes time to adjust to changing situations and the only way I have found to cope with this is to keep my mind busy. Think. What were you interested in when you were in your twenties? Maybe you could recreate a project, something that would take up much time and thought. I call my projects distractions because that's just what they are, they distract me from all the mental and emotional garbage that goes through my mind at times of sadness. I hope you feel a bit better today. Take care of you.

cashmere
08-18-08, 03:19 AM
cashmere,

I'm sad that you're sad. It takes time to adjust to changing situations and the only way I have found to cope with this is to keep my mind busy. Think. What were you interested in when you were in your twenties? Maybe you could recreate a project, something that would take up much time and thought. I call my projects distractions because that's just what they are, they distract me from all the mental and emotional garbage that goes through my mind at times of sadness. I hope you feel a bit better today. Take care of you.

Nice to see you back posting Bluerose and know when you withdraw its the old spd at work,you probably think that when i go walk about.

I've been keeping busy like you suggested but question the meaning of life at present,maybe its a passing phase or a new cycle of spd kicking in.

There is a certain numbness you know the feeling where you can't look forward to anything,or on the rare ocassion you do, feel flat when you arrive there.

Sorry for rambling on.Cashmere.:cool:

Bluerose
08-20-08, 07:16 AM
Rambling is allowed here. I’m glad to be back. Got reassessed recently and it was like getting some real good news. I’m feeling so much better.

I think we all come to that stage sooner or later, questioning everything. I came to a conclusion about all that and chose to accept it because it made life easier. It turns out that the answer to all those big life questions is that there is no answer.

I also use the 'numbness', the emptiness. I meditate - just sitting, forget the future and the past and simply enjoying being in the moment. It helps to keep the numbness, the emptiness from feeling pointless and perhaps scary.

I hope you’re doing better today. Take care of you.

cashmere
08-20-08, 09:03 AM
Rambling is allowed here. I’m glad to be back. Got reassessed recently and it was like getting some real good news. I’m feeling so much better.

I think we all come to that stage sooner or later, questioning everything. I came to a conclusion about all that and chose to accept it because it made life easier. It turns out that the answer to all those big life questions is that there is no answer.

I also use the 'numbness', the emptiness. I meditate - just sitting, forget the future and the past and simply enjoying being in the moment. It helps to keep the numbness, the emptiness from feeling pointless and perhaps scary.

I hope you’re doing better today. Take care of you.

Thanks Bluerose,its strange because i have been referred back to see the shrink because i'am struggling a bit at present although i have excellent people supporting me.

I'am waiting for a new home and am living in a b+b at present its a bit of a halfwayhouse but seems like prison to me.I feel completely overwelmed by the place but the others there cling to each other for support,bless em.

I could solve my housing situation immediately by placing a small caravan in a field next to the stream and be much happier than i am now.
Why don't you one might ask, its the authorities they won't allow it.

They would just move me on as a vagrant,so have thought of maybe relocating to some other country which would allow me to do this.

Anyway Bluerose its time i stopped self pitying.Are you still having a drop of wine and babysitting?,good to here your making good progress,take care,:cool: Cashmere.

Bluerose
08-20-08, 10:30 AM
I still enjoy my Friday night bottle of wine, take away food, and a movie with the grandkids. They are on holiday just now so I’m at that stage where I’m looking forward to them going back to school so that I can have a rest. Lol

I think you have a bit of the gipsy in you, I know I do. Living in a caravan by a river or a lake sounds sweet but it gets very cold in the winter.

I hope the ‘shrink’ is helpful, and I hope you hear about that new home soon.

Go look in the mirror and give yourself a smile.

You’re trying, that all anyone can do. Take care.

strange&unusual
08-21-08, 03:40 AM
Well you both are really trying!! Cashmere and Bluerose you both have an enormous struggle yet you both maintain so much optimism considering both of you being SPD. I think that the two of you are amazing.

Good luck Cashmere with finding a new home.

cashmere
08-21-08, 05:49 AM
Well you both are really trying!! Cashmere and Bluerose you both have an enormous struggle yet you both maintain so much optimism considering both of you being SPD. I think that the two of you are amazing.

Good luck Cashmere with finding a new home.

Thanks for those kind hearted words Strange and Unusual its people like you what make this forum special the way it is.

I remember when i first joined the site Bluerose Greeted me with kindness and spoke these words"give it time Cashmere you will find lots of friends here"how right you were Bluerose and a big thankyou for the guidance at the beginning.:)

strange&unusual
08-21-08, 06:38 AM
Thanks for those kind hearted words Strange and Unusual its people like you what make this forum special the way it is.

I remember when i first joined the site Bluerose Greeted me with kindness and spoke these words"give it time Cashmere you will find lots of friends here"how right you were Bluerose and a big thankyou for the guidance at the beginning.:)


Thank you Cashmere

Bluerose
08-21-08, 01:49 PM
I’m a bit of a rambler at times too. You have both been so sweet to indulge me and my armchair wisdom.

Warm peach coloured healing thoughts on the way to you both.

reesah
08-21-08, 08:15 PM
glad to hear how you guys are doing
yeah cashmere it's like dreaming you can live the way thoreau did, out ini nature, no people around. that would make life so much easier!

strange&unusual
09-03-08, 08:36 PM
Cashmere and bluerose - I hope that you are both going ok?
Any news of a new home Cashmere?

cashmere
09-04-08, 05:22 AM
Cashmere and bluerose - I hope that you are both going ok?
Any news of a new home Cashmere?

Not yet my trusted friend but have an appointment to see the mental health team then i'll have to see the headdoctor again.So maybe they could add some force behind my needs towards the housing issues.:cool:

Bluerose
09-04-08, 11:37 AM
Hi! strange&unusual. I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Hope you're having a good week.

Hang in there, Cashmere. It will all work out soon.

Bluerose
09-07-08, 01:18 PM
Hi there. Any news? I hope your days are getting easier.

cashmere
09-07-08, 07:02 PM
Hi there. Any news? I hope your days are getting easier.

Its been an a very traumatic week Bluerose,what i'am gonna write next is factual and frightening.

I had another blind date fixed up midweek and should have met this women on nuetral grounds.Anyway i'am waiting there for her and she rings me on my mobile and tells me to go round to her place.I get to her place she lets me in and straight away think i'am looking at the female me.

I'am sure this lady sees the same as i see,i'am uncomfortable shes the same,she asks me to leave after about half an hour.I couldn't get out of her home quick enough.

This was one total wacco experience can you shed any light here this women totall:cool:y freaked me out

reesah
09-08-08, 01:48 PM
cashmere it sounds like you met someone who has some of the same kind of social issues you have, maybe. have you tried to maybe see if the two of you could try again? the friend I have now was someone who I was very awkward and uncomfortable with, at first, but she has become a good friend to me now that we have grown accustomed to each other's foibles.

Bluerose
09-08-08, 02:45 PM
This is what came to mind when I read your post. Being someone who deals with mood swings, I think her mood changed and she simply change her mind and realised how stupid it was to invite a stranger to her home. And so she freaked and asked you to leave.

cashmere
09-09-08, 10:35 AM
cashmere it sounds like you met someone who has some of the same kind of social issues you have, maybe. have you tried to maybe see if the two of you could try again? the friend I have now was someone who I was very awkward and uncomfortable with, at first, but she has become a good friend to me now that we have grown accustomed to each other's foibles.

This lady Reesah was even to odd for me,i couldn't stand another minute of this women even if i passed her in the street.

:)

cashmere
09-09-08, 10:50 AM
This is what came to mind when I read your post. Being someone who deals with mood swings, I think her mood changed and she simply change her mind and realised how stupid it was to invite a stranger to her home. And so she freaked and asked you to leave.

You could be right Bluerose i'am having more women trouble this time with my therapist again,shes said i'am intimidating,agressive, threatening,demanding with a bad attitude.

So i wrote her a letter saying i don't make threats only promises and i was making one now in never seeing her again.

She then telephoned me confronting me about the letter, because i accused her of treating me badly and ignoring issues i have raised with her.The letter didn't go down to well but i have backed down being the wimp schizoid that i am and agreed to another meet.Do you think this was ther right thing to do.

Whats going on with this therapist Bluerose/anyone?.I will admit my anxiety levels are high and i'am a bit all over the place about myself at present.Why am i getting so much grief,I am odd.:)

Bluerose
09-09-08, 10:11 PM
Truth? Cashmere, you have to take a step back and think about what you want and who can help you get it. You have to do some sucking up. It may go against the grain but it depends how much you want what these people can help you get. I think it’s normal to have the odd run-in with your therapist, they are telling you things you don’t want to hear. It might be time to do more listening. As for the letter, write as many letters as you want, get it all out onto the paper but… And it’s a big BUT. DON’T SEND THEM.

reesah
09-10-08, 02:10 AM
It can be really hard to be assertive without being aggressive. Instead of getting angry at the therapist maybe you should start thinking about what she could do to help you better, and ask her to do that. It really sucks when someone you have to rely on doesn't listen to you but maybe if you are more calm about telling her what's happening she can help

ah cashmere, I know it's hard, I'm thinking about you and hoping things go well for you

cashmere
09-10-08, 09:23 AM
[quote=reesah;636666]It can be really hard to be assertive without being aggressive. Instead of getting angry at the therapist maybe you should start thinking about what she could do to help you better, and ask her to do that. It really sucks when someone you have to rely on doesn't listen to you but maybe if you are more calm about telling her what's happening she can help

ah cashmere, I know it's hard, I'm thinking about you and hoping things go well for you[/quote

Bluerose/Reesah/everyone i just think she maybe isn't use to this type of disorder and am pretty sure shes not experienced on spd.

She might be okay with some of the other disorders but this one is definately throwing her over the sidewalk.

So have researched some websites and have found one which sums up some of the things i would like to say to her,but would ask her to look at the site hoping she might get the point of the matter of where i'am at.:cool:

Bluerose
09-10-08, 03:34 PM
That's not a bad idea. I hope she has enough empathy to do as you ask.

Anna000
09-10-08, 04:05 PM
All these names and labels, I feel a real need to know more of what they are in order to piece my own life together. Unfortunately here in NZ adult ADHD is often seen as an excuse not a reason amongst professionals..

reesah
09-10-08, 06:34 PM
cashmere if you give her references that might help for sure, hopefully she is open to new information!

cashmere
09-11-08, 06:40 AM
All these names and labels, I feel a real need to know more of what they are in order to piece my own life together. Unfortunately here in NZ adult ADHD is often seen as an excuse not a reason amongst professionals..

I don't know what angle your trying to zoom in on Anna but if theres anything you want to ask me please do so.If you want to stay private please private message me.

I don't know much about adhd but i sure no a lot about personality disorder,mine being completely warped in the shape of a bannana.

I write my situation here because its then open to debate with other members,this helps a lot with the feedback i get and it builds a community spirit here amongst us.

I can only see our section growing stronger the more people who contribute the more we grow in statue.

The outside world and its general population is a hostile place for people like us,thats why its so important to me to have Bluerose,Reesah,Strange and unusual and everybody else here to support my life and to make a difference which no others could.

Keep fighting Anna,keep posting and most importantly keep smiling:)

reesah
09-14-08, 09:55 PM
this section of this forum has been the only place online I've found where I was accepted and open about myself and people have welcomed me anyway.

I haven't been able to find any pd support anywhere else where they wouldn't drum me out pretty quickly because of my dx so thanks guys.



how are things going now cashmere? is today a fairly good day? The sun is shining here. There are a bunch of flies in my dining room that came in the window since I left it open last night. My dog is sleeping. I'm a bit down but t will pass.
How about your day?

cashmere
09-15-08, 02:42 AM
this section of this forum has been the only place online I've found where I was accepted and open about myself and people have welcomed me anyway.

I haven't been able to find any pd support anywhere else where they wouldn't drum me out pretty quickly because of my dx so thanks guys.



how are things going now cashmere? is today a fairly good day? The sun is shining here. There are a bunch of flies in my dining room that came in the window since I left it open last night. My dog is sleeping. I'm a bit down but t will pass.
How about your day?

What kind of a dog have you got Reesah?,I love dogs and have had many breeds over the years.But love the Staffordshire bull terrier more then any of the others,its almost human in its behaviour patterns.

Today was my birthday and the sun was shining here to,I got my car stuck in a mud heap down a country lane and had to be towed out of it,but the cars okay though.

Try going out more into the fresh air Reesah when the mood lowers,Long or short walks can sometimes help throw that mood advancer sideways a little.Your dog would not say no to more walkies and sometimes you meet new people whilst your out walking.:)

Bluerose
09-15-08, 06:40 AM
http://i32.tinypic.com/312fpg5.gif

reesah
09-15-08, 08:20 AM
I had a bull terrier before, they are lovely. now I've got a rat terrier/chihuahua mix.

happy birthday!

cashmere
09-16-08, 05:53 AM
http://i32.tinypic.com/312fpg5.gif


Thankyou so much Bluerose for the lovely gesture you have put a smile on my face,which is not easy to do.:)

cashmere
09-16-08, 05:57 AM
I had a bull terrier before, they are lovely. now I've got a rat terrier/chihuahua mix.

happy birthday!

Thankyou Reesah i'am sure your dog knows he has a loyal and trusted friend.:)

cashmere
09-16-08, 06:03 AM
Well you may remember that i had an encounter with a lady recently who i thought looked like a female version of me,and she ended up telling me to go after half an hour.

Well she only telephones last night saying that i had freaked her out and that she likes me and that i can telephone her anytime.

I'am almost sure this lady has a personality disorder,the call left me dumbfounded.:cool:

Bluerose
09-16-08, 12:01 PM
Give her a second chance... Or trust your instincts.

reesah
09-17-08, 05:11 AM
I have met a couple people with pd's, and I try to be friendly with them in real life when I meet them, I don't get too close but knowing that they can maybe understand the struggle is nice. even if they are strange.

cashmere
09-17-08, 05:35 AM
I have met a couple people with pd's, and I try to be friendly with them in real life when I meet them, I don't get too close but knowing that they can maybe understand the struggle is nice. even if they are strange.

Shes not said shes got a pd Reesah i'am just presuming she has,I will wait to hear from her,if i don't it will be the end of the matter.

I just think she can easily manipulate people if they let her,or maybe she really does feel threatned by my personality,I can be a little hyper especially to people who don't know me.:cool:

Bluerose
09-17-08, 07:22 AM
We can all be a little hyper and nervous when meeting new people. If she calls, just take a deep breath and give things a chance to settle down before making a decision about the whole thing. It would be nice to have someone in the ‘real’ world on our side.

reesah
09-17-08, 08:10 AM
I can't sleep.

This is not fun, either. I have nothing to do but chore-type stuff.
I hate insomnia sometimes.

cashmere
09-17-08, 08:29 AM
I can't sleep.

This is not fun, either. I have nothing to do but chore-type stuff.
I hate insomnia sometimes.

Reading,exercise maybe a stiff drink Reesah just try and unwind i know its not easy,fingars crossed.:rolleyes:

cashmere
09-17-08, 08:32 AM
We can all be a little hyper and nervous when meeting new people. If she calls, just take a deep breath and give things a chance to settle down before making a decision about the whole thing. It would be nice to have someone in the ‘real’ world on our side.

I'll do that Bluerose if she calls,but i have decided i wont chase the hare.:p

Bluerose
09-17-08, 09:32 AM
Okay. Good luck to you.

reesah
09-30-08, 09:52 PM
how are things going cashmere?

cashmere
10-01-08, 01:46 PM
how are things going cashmere?


Reesah i went out with date number seven,this lady tells me she was brutally raped four years ago,the beast/rapist was sentenced to seven years imprisonment.

He recently got parole after four years,broke his conditions and was sent back to jail.This lady is frightened to death and a broken spirit.

I made a decision on this lady about whether i should help her,what decision should that have been Reesah/anyone.:cool:

reesah
10-01-08, 06:31 PM
How did she need you to help her?

Could you just be her friend or the like, without saving her somehow? Or did she ask for help?

I'm sorry all your dates have been strange for you. You're not alone in that. I am rooting for you though!

Bluerose
10-02-08, 07:37 AM
cashmere,

They do say the best way to deal with our own troubles is to help someone else with there's. I think you could be a good friend, a good listener, and a gentle encouraging voice… But don't make the mistake of thinking you can 'fix' her.

cashmere
10-02-08, 08:52 AM
How did she need you to help her?

Could you just be her friend or the like, without saving her somehow? Or did she ask for help?

I'm sorry all your dates have been strange for you. You're not alone in that. I am rooting for you though!

She was in great pain through what happened to her,no support,she needs to move away from this area before this nutter gets out,so will help her where i can.

Schizoids will always attract strange people because we are strange ourselves.:cool:

cashmere
10-02-08, 08:53 AM
cashmere,

They do say the best way to deal with our own troubles is to help someone else with there's. I think you could be a good friend, a good listener, and a gentle encouraging voice… But don't make the mistake of thinking you can 'fix' her.

Thanks Bluerose, i can't even fix myself so theres no chance of that.:cool:

reesah
10-02-08, 10:23 PM
cashmere you are a very kind person!

and bluerose you always have the most level head with your advice.