View Full Version : fragile mood ?


Colin
08-23-08, 10:32 AM
thats how I would describe my mood, its very fragile, although im not sure thats the right word, as my mood is very much affected by whats hapening in my life. i dont ever feel my mood changes without some external factor cuasing it.

i dont seem to have any resistance to changes in mood, if something bad is hapening my mood plumets so much, and similarly if like recently i feel ive made some fantastic progress with my diagnosis and meds my mood is fantastically better.

ive discused this with my psych and becuase its not periodic, it doesnt suggest bipolar, im just wondering how far from normal this is.

I know adhd cuases mood problems and this acounts for nearly all of the low moods ive had, but once i get treated for adhd, i would like my mood to be a bit more resilient, if someone says a hurtfull coment i dont want to just sudenly feel like i just want to cry.

maybe this will just improve with confidence once i get over the last 13 years ive lost due to adult adhd previously not being recognised or treated in the UK.

I have had so many antidepressants and which have had little effect or bad side efects, but this was before I'd even heard of ADHD.

actually the worst thing i find isnt the low mood itself, ive been through long periods of low moods, but its the sudden drop in mood, i find this is like cuasing a almost panicy feeling, to the extent that its begining to worry me when im next going to have a mood plumet becuase something bad happens.

maybe i have depresion anxiety ?

i do seem to have lost my sleep anxiety just recently as a result of feeling ive made progres recently.

sloppitty-sue
08-23-08, 10:44 AM
I can totally identify with the experiences you are describing. I take Zoloft and Adderall for psych meds, and I go to counseling every week. Have for YEARS now. I also was addicted to opiates and am on a low dose of a maintenance med for opiate addiction. When I was self-medicating, I felt best. Really functional. But that's expensive - not to mention ILLEGAL. So I had to stop.

Suprisingly, my counseling has been helpful in building my self esteem. I sort of am obligated to attend therapy sessions if I want to be medicated. ????

Just sharing.

I know how much it sucks not to be listened to, taken seriously, and/or helped in any way. I was so miserable that I took the situation into my own hands for a while (illicit drug use). That NEVER works for the long term.

Best wishes,
Sue

Colin
08-23-08, 11:54 AM
thanks, i think i can see now that self esteem is probably what best describes whats at the core of this particular aspect of me.

I certainly dont look at myself as valuless person at all, however if someone says something critical its such a huge blow. I think im also sufering from being alone unable to go out for such a long time and rely too much on the few people i do get to talk to mostly online.

if only people were more like my cats, they never have a critical thought in their cute fluffy little heads :)

Sandy4957
08-23-08, 12:03 PM
Colin,

In my experience working with a lot of different types of folks, some people's personalities just ARE more fragile. They're sensitive, and you can even see it in them as infants. They have stronger startle responses, and greater sensitivity to criticism, as you describe. I have a very strong startle response, for example, and when I was young (before 11 y.o.), I was extremely sensitive to criticism. Then at 11-12 y.o., it all shifted, and I became fairly immune to criticism (I took the valuable stuff and considered it and ignored most of the rest). A couple things did it, one of which was likely puberty and just changed hormones, but the other was developing a strong sense of self from surviving a traumatic, violent childhood. Getting to recognize your strengths, and coming to rely on them AS strengths seems to me to be key to stabilizing mood for someone like you.

I don't seek out people's opinions of me much. Whereas many of my female friends are seemingly monitoring their environment for hidden criticisms, I'm willfully oblivious to them. I don't WANT to hear who's saying what about me. It's a defense mechanism, but it helps.

Talk therapy is a BIG, BIG help on this.

Sandy

DesertDave
08-23-08, 12:53 PM
Hey Colin

You said if only people were more like my cats, they never have a critical thought in their cute fluffy little heads

I'm a cat fan, too. However, I'm sure my cat has critical thoughts of me. For example, when her dish is empty and I'm ignoring her pleas to fill it up. Or when I'm eating something she wants and she isn't getting any. She's overweight as it is.

She's more critical when I get the Roomba going, but it's better than the big vacuum.

I often wish I were more like a cat for lots of reasons. They have few real needs. They don't need anyone's approval.

Colin
08-23-08, 02:54 PM
I too had a childhood wich was traumatic, just after university I did find hypotherapy help me get over it so that it didnt keep me awake at night.

when i was young I think I used to block everything out so efectivly i was very imune to critiscm becuase i had it thrust in my face evry minute of the day almost, wel slight exagertaion obviously.

but now I think ive gone the other way, maybe becuase i blocked it out i never learned how to acept it like normal people do, but going thruugh the psyhiatric mill left me somewhat damaged too, so i dont know realy.

also I think i have become far more sensitive to other peoples feelings, again I dont know if this is becuase of what ive been through or due to adhd its taken me longer to learn than normal people.

but i feel being sensitive to other peoples feelings goes hand in hand with being more sensitive yourself.

yes I agree about cats, id hate to think what my cat thinks about the same dry food every day, but if theyr hungry they let me know by being more affectionate lol.

sloppitty-sue
08-23-08, 03:20 PM
I used to be so sensitive to criticism that in addition to the uncontrollable physical response I'd have (ie., feeling as if I were just punched in the stomach, having my face flush red, trembling, lightheaded, and unable to hold back the tears) I would also feel as if I'd entered another reality -- like suddenly I'd feel overcome with shame so great that I'd wonder how I dared being so carefree and content just hours before. This, of course, would simmer down over the next several days, but the anxiety about when the NEXT "slap" in the face was coming kept me tense and always "on my toes" trying to prevent or even minimize the next "slap" (criticism, insult) to come.

I believe that a combination of time, therapy, AND SSRI's (like the Prozac and later the Zoloft I was taking) helped free me from the great degree of that misery. I still am sensitive to criticism sometimes - but only occasionally, and NOTHING like to the degree that it used to be.

Back in my late teens - early 30's, I believed my very existence was a burden to everyone (in spite of living on my own, working full-time, and supporting myself). That's NO WAY to live. But I've recently (over the past 2 - 3 years) come to understand that the way my parents interacted with me had a LOT to do with my feeling so sensitive. And now I know that when certain people (like certain family members, for example) criticize me, it's often the other person who has the real problem, not me. Having my own kids and experiencing parenthood firsthand also helped enlighten me.

I hope for anyone else who might be experiencing low self-esteem stemming from being reared by misguided people that you come to a similar understanding yourselves. It really does relieve a huge portion of that depression.

Much love,
Sue

Colin
08-23-08, 04:26 PM
I used to be so sensitive to criticism that in addition to the uncontrollable physical response I'd have (ie., feeling as if I were just punched in the stomach, having my face flush red, trembling, lightheaded, and unable to hold back the tears) I would also feel as if I'd entered another reality -- like suddenly I'd feel overcome with shame so great that I'd wonder how I dared being so carefree and content just hours before. This, of course, would simmer down over the next several days, but the anxiety about when the NEXT "slap" in the face was coming kept me tense and always "on my toes" trying to prevent or even minimize the next "slap" (criticism, insult) to come.
........
Much love,
Sue

Wow i cant beleive how well that so exactly describes how Ive felt and what ive been through recently.