View Full Version : my struggle with possible ADD. . . . ?


music3000
09-17-08, 05:30 PM
I`m sorry but I didn't know where exactly to put this post so here goes...




I always thought that I was different from everybody while I was in school and I think part of that is right. My older brother was diagnosed with ADD when he was a kid and while asking him about it he told me that I too have it. I'm an 18 year old girl and I do know that it often goes unnoticed in girls. In elementary school, one of my teachers suggested that I be evaluated for ADD but my mom never took it seriously. I wasn't even aware of this until my brother told me. I had always suspected that I may have ADD but I never really looked into it. I was a pretty okay student all the way through elementary and middle schools and I did especially bad in middle school and it was hard for me to catch certain aspects like math. School was never really a challenge for me.I always felt like I was ahead and I could catch concepts just like that. My teachers would always say that I never fulfilled my full potential in school and I don't know why I just couldn't do it. Everything changed for me when I got to be in 11th grade. I couldn't grasp anything that was being taught honestly. I almost failed that year. The supposedly easiest concepts I would lack behind because I didnt really understand it. I had a lot of advanced classes that I could handle but it was almost like reading a different language when I read. While everyone could focus I couldn't especially when I read. It was so weird because I can literally read a novel for 12 hours straight but I can't read pass 3 pages in my textbook without getting frustrated because I couldn't retain what I read. All my life, my room was a mess, notebook, bookbag, I just felt my whole life was in disarray. My mom would ask me to do something and it would go undone. She would often call me lazy, sloppy, unmotivated, etc. When I did try to clean my room it would take HOURS!! and I mean hours! The only time something would get done is if I had somebody watching over me or if I got something taken away... and then it would go back to how it was before. It would take me atleast months to do my own laundry! I procrastinated more than anyone I know. In school was the sameway. I couldn't focus in on the work. When I use to take test I would zone out for the first 15 minutes or so and just think. I would get restless in class sometimes and constantly fidget and move around. When I out, I feel like I have this constant, unrelenting energy. Energy that I need to channel and I don't know where it comes from but I feel like I always have to be in constant motion. I have a really bad memory so a lot of the time I repeat myself when I'm talking to my friends. I wouldnt do homework (if I did it) until the very last minute. I can't stick to a schedule and I'm late to everything and I wonder what I was even doing to be late in the first place. Even when I try I'm still late. I know these things change but it has always been that way for me. Now I'm in college and I know that this is something I can't do for myself. I can't just get by like I did in high school there has to be more there right? Or maybe I am that lazy. I always felt like I was dumber than everyone else especially the last 2 years of high school.I use to have intentions of doing work on the computer and then 2 hours would go by and I still didn't accomplish anything, but I can stay online for over 12 hours but I hate TV. While other people can read their school books here I just can't retain anything thats said for the most part and I never knew how to study. If i do have it I dont know what to do I want to get evaluated for it but everything I do it goes to my mother first and she would never let me "waste" time like that to get evaluated. If I did have it, she wouldn't be ready to accept it.

Code rage
09-17-08, 05:45 PM
I can relate to a good portion of the symptoms you have described. The best I can tell you is to see your GP. I am a hair under 30 and was just diagnosed as ADD. It is amazing how much clearer things are now. I use to think that it was the norm for me and the problems were character faults I had to work through. After 8 hrs of being 'ADD free' it is now so obvious what was wrong.
Go see a doc and dont put it off.

busygoddess
09-17-08, 05:48 PM
Wow. You sound a lot like me. My mom also refused to even consider that I had ADHD. I had to learn organizational skills, study skills, & time management all on my own. It's a hard road, and I don't recommend doing it without meds or some other help unless you have no other opption. Isn't there any way that you could get in to see a Dr without your mom finding out until after the appt.? Or can you possibly go without her finding out at all? You're 18 now, that makes you an adult. Even if your mom isn't ready to accept a diagnosis, it would be better for you to see someone. I know it's difficult dealing with a parent who doesn't want to admit that there's something "wrong" with their child, but as an adult, it's time you start putting yourself first.
If there's no way for you to see a Dr right now, do you have a friend that could help you? Someone who could study with you, or help keep you task sometimes? Someone who could work with you on learning some good study, organizational, and time management skills? It can be done on your own, but I'm sure it would be easier if you had someone who could help.
Also, you said your brither has ADHD. Has he gotten any kind of help with learning those skills? If so, maybe he could help you. He could show you some ways that have worked for him, or tell you things he's learned in therapy. You need to find someone who will help & support you through this time.
Even if you don't think she'll accept it, you really should try talking to your mom. Maybe have your brother there for support. Explain how hard it's been for you, what your symptoms are, etc., and tell her that you feel very strongly about seeing a Dr regarding this. You never know, she might surprise you (and if not, at least you tried).
Good Luck.

music3000
09-17-08, 07:03 PM
Wow. You sound a lot like me. My mom also refused to even consider that I had ADHD. I had to learn organizational skills, study skills, & time management all on my own. It's a hard road, and I don't recommend doing it without meds or some other help unless you have no other opption. Isn't there any way that you could get in to see a Dr without your mom finding out until after the appt.? Or can you possibly go without her finding out at all? You're 18 now, that makes you an adult. Even if your mom isn't ready to accept a diagnosis, it would be better for you to see someone. I know it's difficult dealing with a parent who doesn't want to admit that there's something "wrong" with their child, but as an adult, it's time you start putting yourself first.
If there's no way for you to see a Dr right now, do you have a friend that could help you? Someone who could study with you, or help keep you task sometimes? Someone who could work with you on learning some good study, organizational, and time management skills? It can be done on your own, but I'm sure it would be easier if you had someone who could help.
Also, you said your brither has ADHD. Has he gotten any kind of help with learning those skills? If so, maybe he could help you. He could show you some ways that have worked for him, or tell you things he's learned in therapy. You need to find someone who will help & support you through this time.
Even if you don't think she'll accept it, you really should try talking to your mom. Maybe have your brother there for support. Explain how hard it's been for you, what your symptoms are, etc., and tell her that you feel very strongly about seeing a Dr regarding this. You never know, she might surprise you (and if not, at least you tried).
Good Luck.


I have to get my medical insurance card thru my mom which im gonna say its for something else but yeah i know have to do it for myself but its going to be hard bc i have no way of transportation besides the shuttle bus here at school. I wish I could ask my brother for support but he didn`t get any treatment for his ADD. While it would have been smart to put my brother on a drug, my mother didnt. He was told he was stupid when it wasnt even his fault. My brother was put into remedial classes while in high school and he failed 2 grades but he got his high school diploma. My mother just refused to put him on meds I think that she didnt think it was a real disorder but im angry at her bc I feel like she ruined his whole life you know? I asked him about it yesterday and he said it affected him "mildly" but it had to affect him a whole lot he failed a lot of classes and even developed a stutter as a boy and it took him a long time to grow out of it and even now. . .. I know realize that a lot of this has to do with his ADD. So in a way, Im in this all by myself. Im gonna talk to my sister about it today tho.

akko
09-28-08, 11:16 AM
Hi music3000. Wow, that is so unfair what you and your brother had to go through. :( It definitely shows the need for awareness about this disorder in the general population.

I hope you've made some headway in getting diagnosed since your last post.

I can really relate to a lot of what you said- it all started to fall apart for me too in 10-11th grade. Highschool was awful after that. You shouldn't have to put up with that through college too!

Good luck!

talitha
11-25-08, 03:35 AM
Energy that I need to channel and I don't know.....


i have the same... energy that i need to channel, but i don't know how. there has to be something we can do to use it in a constructive way... i mean right..? there's gotta be! :confused: