Hi there

I am 35 and recently diagnosed (self then confirmed with psycologist) with ADD.

Its had a profound effect on my relationships and all my life Ive had people say they are tired of me talking over them, not listening, being self centered etc. I also tend to get angry and irritated easily and this has also caused many a problem with partners/friends. Im disorganised, cant get anywhere on time, or focus on things im not interested, etc - verytypical ADD

I have all the inattentive symptoms, not many hyperactive and about half the impulsive ones. My parents and friends also feel i have it and agree my behaviours are a lot more excessive than a normal persons and would seem to be ADD.

I am also moody and get angry very easily, and feel like throwing/smashing things over stupid stuff (I dont do that so much any more but as a kid i was very destructive) - do many people with add/adhd get this anger? Like you lose your car keys in the morning and you are just so ANGRY at your mess (which is hiding your car keys) and the injustice of it all and even at the time you are thinking WHY am I so angry this is way over the top....

I am waiting to see a specialist in the hope that they will prescribe medication for me. I am also having therapy and working on identifying and coping with the symptoms and i think this is just as vital as meds, but I do feel that ive been trying to overcome it for a while and my inattention is just too strong for me to just 'will' away...

I've been using legal recreational pills which have an amphetamine like effect, and noticed the following when on them:

Improved focus
Improved ability to listen and emphathise with others
Anger and moodiness disappears
Able to take critism without getting defensive

I at first thought this was just me thinking i was great like people do when they are on drugs or drunk and really they are an idiot. However Ive resolved long standing issues with partner while on these stimulants, and I have noticed on many occasions that people I have known but not that well, have become much friendlier to me and more interested in hanging out with me after ive had conversations with them on stimulants. These people were unaware I was on them, and no one seems to notice when i am on them.
These are not illegal as far as I am aware so there are no legal issues here, but of course I have no idea what dosage i shoudl be on with these things, and they are expensive. Id rather be on proper meds under a Dr guidance

However where i live an appointment is not available for 3 months (this is even though i can pay the full cost myself).

These meds really improve my mood and I am not sure if that is because they are 'fixing' ADD, or simply because party pills are suposed to make you feel good.

I am also going through a rough time emotionally at the moment as I have just had the guy I thought I might marry break up with me and refuse to have any contact with me.

I dealt with this really badly and it was part of that process that made me decide I had to identify and deal with whatever has been 'wrong' with me all my life.
The stimulants and prescribed anti depressants are the only thing keeping me functional at the moment - Im so miserable and devastated when I think about my ex and the loss of the relationship - especially as I suspect if my ADD had been treated earlier the outcome may have been different

All my relationships have ended i suspect at least in part to ADD. I am very insecure but come across initially as very independant (a defense mechanism against expected rejection) and I have lost many many friends due to my behaviour. As a child I had all the typical symptoms of attention deficit.

When I finally started readin up on it it was like reading my own bio....

Anyway for others who have felt as I do could you please tell me

How you feel on/off meds especially your general mood and happiness
what meds you are on
whether you had to try different doses or types much before you found something that worked?

How much of a difference do the medications make?

Also how much do they stimulate you? Im having to self medicate still I can see a specialist and having a bit of a job trying to work out how much I should take to be effective without over doing it.

I could just wait but i am in a new job with very rigid hrs and that combined with the relationship breakup im going through -0 i dont think id function at work without taking stimulants to control my impulses, attention and mood.

I know these stimulants are having a significant effect on my ADD, however I am also aware that its very tempting at the moment to take too much especially in the evenings - because of the mood lifting effects, in an attempt to avoid how utterly devastated i am feeling about the breakup.

However from what I read about ADD/ADHD I dont know whether my depression over the breakup is normal grief, or is actually worse than normal because of ADD..... Basically in the last few weeks I have felt absolutely devastated and that life wasnt worth living, a far more extreme reaction to a breakup than ive had in the past. I've felt totally out of control of my emotions and close to emotional meltdown.

To management who have posted a sticky about drug abuse - I know what I am doing is far from ideal and i certainly i dont recommend it - and these are not illegal pills - but what do you do when you cant see a doctor for so long and you honestly feel you cant cope with your symptoms any longer?

Well...first I'll address the Dr issue. When I decided to seek help and started calling around, every Dr was booked for months and months in advance. It was extremely discouraging for me because I knew if it didn't happen really soon, it wouldn't happen for a long time. I would get complacent again. My husband told me Nurse Practitioners and Physicians Assistants can prescribe meds AND do therapy, etc. I called some places again and found an office with a Nurse Practitioner and she an available appt just a couple weeks out. (most people would prefer to see the main Dr but in a crunch, I say take what you can). Maybe calling around to see if there any appts available with one? would be beneficial for a starting place.

I also have a very quick temper. IE throwing stuff, screaming, basically just getting out of control over the dumbest sh*t. I've been on meds (Vyvanse and Zoloft) for going on 2 weeks and have noticed a dramatic change in my anger problems. I'm certainly not so impatient with myself and others. Let me tell ya...I would get royally p*ssed off at not being able to get my clothes off a hanger in a timely manner, rip the clothes off it and break the hanger in many places. Stupid, I know, but hey. The meds have helped that dramatically.

As for being so despondent and depressed over the break-up (I have been here too), thinking life isn't worth living....Trust me, it IS! Every second of it. Try to stay on a positive note by reminding yourself that you ARE seeking help and one way or another, this is going to get better.

As for taking meds (what are you taking?) that aren't "illegal", if you don't have a script for them they are illegal. Having them on your person without a bottle labeling your name is illegal. H*ll, it's illegal to carry ibuprofen in an unmarked bottle or bag!

Just take care of yourself....think positively...I know it's hard.

Sorry for the long winded reply...I ramble sometimes.:D Hope this helps!

My adderall made a HUGE difference. Night and day. I had a huge anger over dumb things problem. I called it my screaming inner 4 year old. She was very hard to shut up and caused me once to throw a box of lean cuisine down a self check out belt because it wasn't scanning right. Then i took my adderall and experienced a feeling of "zen" I have never felt before. Not only could I structure my free time instead of staring at a wall, I can stand still in lines, wait my turn to talk, think about what i say before i say it, and not throw/smack/break things in frustration.

To be completely honest the first couple of days it felt really strange and i felt kinda depressed actually because i didn't feel like myself. Once i started getting used to the drug and getting tons of possitive feed back from other people i started to feel better about. Now i feel great about it!

Hi there

and thanks for your replies.

I have looked at thsi forum and a facebook group and its amazing how similar your descriptions of your experiences are to how I have always felt. No one has understood before.....

Here in Australia only specialists can prescribe the meds, and only Doctors, so there is no short cut to being seen. I finally organised an appointment today for 11 November.

I also tried another 'over the counter' stimulant that I had ordered online. Its a synthetic herbal extract called geranamine or geranium extract, or dMAA.

Its being used in New Zealand as a legal party pill replacemnt since BZP was made illegal.

I tried it today and noticed that I had a better more relaxed sociable and happy mood without the full on stimulant effect of the other stuff I have. However my moods do tend to be up and down so it might have just been a good day. Ill try it again tomorrow and see how I go, its cheaper and less full on than the other stuff - apparently a lot of weight lifters and body builders use it to help them in the gym.

Again, its legal so i am not breaking any laws.....

Can anyone tell me about the assessment process? what can I expect there?

I am afraid that because of the nature of the drugs used for ADD, from what I have heard it is very hard for adults to be diagnosed and prescribed, because Drs think they are drug seeking.

However after 35 years of wondering what was wrong with me, ADD symptoms, and the stories of other suffers make perfect sense and finally I feel as though I have an answer....

I have tried in the past to curb my impulsive behaviour as I was told it annoyed people. same for listening in meetings, class etc, but I can never keep that up for long and its REALLY hard work, so I am very keen to see if the medications will help me modify this behaviour. Im just so tired of ****ing people off all the time, when I really dont want to.....

Another question. Did many other ladies find that they often dont comprehend social signals - like you have no idea you have really ****ed someone off, till you are told later? But yet the person has probablybeen giving out body language that would be very obvious to anyone without ADD?

Thanks

Kim

Hi!

Well, I can tell you this: If you have anger problems, stay away from Strattera. In my personal experience, it enhances aggressive tendencies. I am normally not a confrontational person, but when I was taking Strattera, I became the worst B****. It also made it almost impossible to sleep.

Taking Adderal was like suddenly coming out of a coma, alert and focused. I take the XR, so it lasts me pretty much all day. All of a sudden, I could finish my tasks and concentrate on conversations. It was so envigorating.

You might also have a Co-existing condition in addition to your ADD. Make sure that your therapist knows ALL your symptoms. Don't hold anything back, no matter how embarrassing. It helps them to treat you that much faster.

Oh, and about the social signals? Heck, yea! Good lord, I suck at subtle. I can't tell you how many times I have been caught off guard by people who won't tell you to your face that you have made them angry or offended them in some way. Someone else tells you later, and you're like "What did I do???"

I wish you the best of luck!

Adderall has made a significant difference in my ability to think, cope and get things done.

Vyvanse has been huge for me. I was recently diagnosed combination Inattentive ADD with anxiety. Since I started Vyvanse I'm very similar to you.

No more sudden rages. (in fact, I didn't feel my face flush and I stayed super calm when someone was yelling at me at work).
No more road rages.
No more zoning out in meetings.
My self esteem just feels better. (and no more anxiety)
I'm able to focus and be pro-active.

My husband noticed immediately when (the day I got yelled at) I didn't go immediately to the bar for 6 shots and head downstairs to play HALO. I was calm and actually haven't felt like a drink (to calm me down) since taking Vyvanse.

I can relate. For a long time, I didnt know what was wrong with me or why I was sooo different than every one else. Now, as an adult, I know whats going on with me. (some what) I have tried so many different medications. I have been on strettera and the only good things about it (for me) were the ability to focus better, the feeling that I didnt have to go pee every ten minutes, and the compultion to eat every five minutes. Other than that, Stretterra made me EXTREAMLY DRAINED. So tired that I just wanted to sleep all day long, but then at times, I couldnt sleep at all. Also, I felt DEPRESSED and I was nausious, hot, and sweaty. I felt like I had morning breath all day long, I felt dirty and greasy, got acne, and it made my hair thinner. Oh, and it made me super aggressive! (think when the HULK is starting to turn green, muscles are bulding, and clothes are ripping!) So, I think Im not going to take stretterra anymore. (OPPS!) Ive tried zoloft and felt like a zombie. Tried topamax, made me SUPER stupid but great for weight loss! Now, Im ready to move on and try something else. Hopefully I can find a better docter here in Tennessee.

My doctor warned me that he may be switching me around the first year to see how I do on different meds. The good thing is that I've done well on Vyvanse for 3 weeks.

I have found that Adderall has made a huge difference for me and my life. I am able to make progress in therapy for the first time, my relationship with my husband has improved, I am more patient and able to think clearly, I can get things done (YAY!). My self-esteem has improved, my anxiety and depressive symptoms are lessened...the list goes on.

I've lost 20 pounds, which I wanted to lose anyway, but the lack of appetite can be a problem. I have bouts of insomnia, I can get very sweaty and warm for no reason, and when I first started on it Ihad heart palpitations for a few days. (Those were scary, but were soon under control by lowering the dose and raising it slowly.)

It's the only med I ahve been on, although I tried the XR version and it did not work for me. I am on the regular release, or IR. I am very glad I made the decision to try it...finally diagnosed at age 39, it feels good to be able to learn about what I can do to help myself!

The process of getting diagnosed differs from doc to doc. Mine did a very thurough history and assessment, but I didn't do any cognitive testing. Some doctors insist on that, and the tests can be long (and if not covered by insurance, expensive.) However, the testing can help make a more difinitive case for ADD. Other testing and history taking can help figure out if there is something else along with the ADD.

The question about drug seeking is a complex one. Some doctors assume if you walk in saying you think you have ADD, you are drug seeking. Others are not so quick to jump at this. It also varies from country to country: in the UK, for example, it seems they really don't diagnose ADD very often at all. (I think I have read on the boards this is due to the diagnosis not being accepted in the UK as a real disorder, but I could be wrong.) Listing all of your symptoms is helpful, as well as things that make them better or worse. You may have to hunt around for a doctor for a little while; somethings the first one just isn't a good fit.

I am glad to hear what you are taking currently is legal and is helping you. However, if it's used as a party drug at times, isn't there a possibility it could be dangerous? I don't mean to make a judgement here, but I do think it is concerning. If you are waiting to be diagnosed, maybe some of the all natural remedies people have tried would be worth trying. Omega 3 fatty acids are something people have found helpful, and if you do a search you can find info on more.

Good luck!

Hi Kimmy! I'm Kimmy too and I'm also from Australia.

I'm sure we could even be the same person?! I have had ADD, my psychologist suggests, all my life but was simply labelled "rebellious" as I went through school. It's funny because I think back to school days and I really hated being at school but spent a lot of time in the library reading about things and researching in my own time (unrelated to school work, though!) but in class I could never focus on anything and hence, ended up dreading school. My teachers would say "Kimberley is clever, but refuses to pay attention in class" etc etc. I ended up dropping out early. I'm now a writer and decided to go back to school this year and get my qualification, and fine tune my writing skills - but I'm reminded how much the whole aspect of "schooling" disagrees with my brain, it's like it goes against the grain of how my mind works. I love the course but I can't concentrate. Can't hand in assignments on time, be on time for lectures, nothing. I have been taking over the counter drugs such as Panafen Plus and sometimes cold and flu tablets in an effort to focus myself in class. The codeine tends to work quite well but I'm finding I have to take more and more to get a similar effect and I am told it's addictive. I want to go on some proper ADD meds but it's like pulling hens teeth. I've asked my GP about it a couple of times and she has changed my anti depressants around and stuff but seems reluctant to give me anything else for ADD. Possibly they can interact badly with anti depressants? But anyway, I don't want to hijack you're thread by just wanted to let you know I do the same thing and I understand the fact that doctors think you're drug shopping when you ask about these drugs that are restricted. It's hard to demonstrate a real need for it. I hope you get something that helps soon!!!

Ive tried all kinds of meds, even anti depressants. The anti depressants only made me feel like a zombie and gain weight. Strettera works better than the anti depressants but I hate the side effects. Any ever take Stretterra and then switch to adderall or some thing else? How did it make you feel? Better or worse? I know I cant spell....:p