I hope you all can adapt this to your own struggles.
Cheers! Ian.

From the AA "Daily Reflectons"

March 17

MYSTERIOUS WAYS
...out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does "move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105

After losing my career, family and health, I remained unconvinced that my way of life needed a second look. My drinking and other drug use were killing me, but I had never met a recovering person or an A.A. member. I thought I was destined to die alone and that I deserved it. At the peak of my despair, my infant son became critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors' efforts to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped working. I was left staring into God's eyes, begging for help. My introduction to A.A. came within days, through an odd series of coincidences, and I have remained sober ever since. My son lived and his disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced me of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Today my son and I thank God for his intervention.

March 18

REAL INDEPENDENCE
The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 36

I start with a little willingness to trust God and He causes that willingness to grow. The more willingness I have, the more trust I gain, and the more trust I gain, the more willingness I have. My dependence on God grows as my trust in Him grows. Before I became willing, I depended on myself for all my needs and I was restricted by my incompleteness. Through my willingness to depend upon my Higher Power, whom I chose to call God, all my needs are provided for my Someone Who knows me better than I know myself--even the needs I may not realize, as well as the ones yet to come. Only Someone Who knows me that well could bring me to be myself and to help me fill the need in someone else that only I am meant to fill. There never will be another exactly like me. And that is real independence.

March 19

PRAYER: IT WORKS
It has been well said that "almost the only scoffers of prayer are those who never tried it enough."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 97

Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish when I first tried praying. I knew there was a Higher Power working in my life-- how else was I staying sober? -- but I certainly wasn't convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program, so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was amazed to find myself becoming more serene and comfortable with my place in the world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. I'm still not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but I'd never stop saying them for the simple reason that they work.

March 20

LOVE AND TOLERANCE
Love and tolerance of others is our code.

ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, p. 84

I have found that I have to forgive others in all situations to maintain any real spiritual progress. The vital importance of forgiving may not be obvious to me at first sight, but my studies tell me that every great spiritual teacher has insisted strongly upon it.
I must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons' sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul. Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem.

March 21

MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING
Fear . . . of economic insecurity will leave us.

ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, p. 84

Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic circumstances improve, are two different things. When I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused, I thought fear would leave me only when I started making money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial difficulties: "For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded." (p.127). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.
Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I've found that is what others valued all along. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. I only get the use of the wealth God created, I never have " owned " it. My life's purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess.

March 22

NO MORE STRUGGLE
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol.

ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, p. 84

When A.A. found me, I thought I was in for a struggle, and that A.A. might provide the strength I needed to beat alcohol. Victorious in that fight, who knows what other battles I could win. I would need to be strong, though. All my previous experience with life proved that. Today I do not have to struggle or exert my will. If I take those Twelve Steps and let my higher Power do the real work, my alcohol problem disappears all by itself. My living problems also cease to be struggles. I just have to ask whether acceptance --or change-- is required. It is not my will, but His, that needs doing.

March 23

AND NO MORE RESERVATIONS
We have seen the truth again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic" ...If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in few years.

ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, p. 33

These words are underlined in my book. They are true for men and women alcoholics. On many occasions I've turned to this page and reflected on this passage. I need never fool myself by recalling my sometimes differing drinking patterns, or by believing I am "cured." I like to think that, if sobriety is God's gift to me, then my sober life is my gift to God. I hope God is as happy with His gift as I am with mine.

March 24

ACTIVE, NOT PASSIVE
Man is supposed to think, and act. He wasn't made in God's image to be an automaton.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 55

Before I joined A.A., I often did not think, and reacted to people and situations. When not reacting I acted in a mechanical fashion. After joining A.A., I started seeking daily guidance from a Power greater than myself, and learning to listen for that guidance. Then I began to make decisions and act on them, rather than react to them. The results have been constructive; I no longer allow others to make decisions for me and then criticize me for it.
Today --and every day-- with a heart full of gratitude, and a desire for God's will to be done through me, my life is worth sharing, especially with my fellow alcoholics! Above all, if I do not make a religion out of anything, even A.A., then I can be an open channel for
God's expression.

Thanks for sharing these Ian....what a great dose of the program....:)

Thanks joanrdtobe.
I'm glad someone has noticed...heh This is a pretty quite corner of the forums.

Much of what I've learnt over the years that has had any lasting substance was derived from 12 step literature. It's still my primary tool in remaining open to change and this is essential for me. Resentments, anger, blame.. are what comes naturally to me and this helped nobody and hurt many. Life is good.. < g >

Cheers! Ian.

"There is no Darkness in Eternity, but only Light too dim for us to see"

March 25

A FULL AND THANKFUL HEART
I try hard to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37

I believe that we in Alcoholics Anonymous are fortunate in that we are constantly reminded of the need to be grateful and of how important gratitude is to our sobriety. I am truly grateful for the sobriety God has given me through the A.A. program and am glad I can give back what was given to me freely. I am grateful not only for sobriety, but for the quality of life my sobriety has brought. God has been gracious enough to give me sober days and a life blessed with peace and contentment, as well as the ability to give and receive love, and the opportunity to serve others--in our Fellowship, my family and my community. For all of this, I have "a full and thankful heart."

March 26

THE TEACHING IS NEVER OVER
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you--until then.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS p. 164

These words put a lump in my throat each time I read them. In the beginning it was because I felt, "Oh no! The teaching is over. Now I'm on my own. It will never be this new again." Today I feel deep affection for our A.A. pioneers when I read this passage, realizing that it sums up all of what I believe in, and strive for, and that--with God's blessing--the teaching is never over, I'm never on my own, and every day is brand new.

March 27

A.A.'S FREEDOMS
We trust that we already know what our several freedoms truly are; that no future generations of AA's will ever feel compelled to limit them. Our AA freedoms create the soil in which genuine love can grow....

LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p.303

I craved freedom. First, freedom to drink; later freedom from drink. The A.A. program of recovery rests on a foundation of free choice. There are no mandates, laws or commandments. A.A.'s spiritual program, as outlined in the Twelve Steps, and by which I am offered even greater freedoms, is only suggested. I can take it or leave it. Sponsorship is offered, not forced, and I come and go as I will. It is these and other freedoms that allow me to recapture the dignity that was crushed by the burden of drink, and which is so dearly needed to support and enduring sobriety.

March 28

EQUALITY
Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group three have no other affiliation.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p 565

Prior to A.A., I often felt that I didn't "fit in " with the people around me. Usually "they" had more/less money than I did, and my points of view didn't jibe with "theirs." The amount of prejudice I had experienced in society only proved to me just how phony some self-righteous people were. After joining A.A., I found the way of life I had been searching for. In A.A. no member is better than any other member; we're just alcoholics trying to recover from alcoholism.

March 29

TRUSTED SERVANTS
They are servants. Theirs is the sometimes thankless privilege of doing the group's chores.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS. P 134

In Zorba the Greek, Nilos Kazantazkis describes an encounter between his principal character and an old man busily at work planting a tree. "What is it you are doing?" Zorba asks. The old man replies: "You can see very well what I'm doing, my son, I'm planting a tree." " But why plant a tree," Zorba asks "if you won't be able to see it bear fruit?" And the old man answers: "I, my son, live as though I were never going to die." The response brings a faint smile to Zorba's lips and, as he walks away, he exclaims with a note of irony: "How strange-- I live as though I were going to die tomorrow!"
As a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have found that the Third Legacy is a fertile soil in which to plant the tree of my sobriety. The fruits I harvest are wonderful: peace, security, understanding and twenty-four hours of eternal fulfillment; and with the soundness of mind to listen to the voice of my conscience when, in silence, it gently speaks to me, saying: You must let go in service. There are others who must plant and harvest.

March 31

NO ONE DENIED ME LOVE
On the A.A. calendar it was Year Two . . . A newcomer appeared at one of these groups . . . He soon proved that his was a desperate case, and that above all he wanted to get well . . . [He said], " Since I am the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism, you may not want me among you."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 141-142

I came to you -- a wife, mother, woman who had walked out on her husband, children, family. I was a drunk, a pill-head, a nothing. Yet no one denied me love, caring, a sense of belonging. Today, by God's grace and the love of a good sponsor and a home group, I can say that--through you in Alcoholic's Anonymous--I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a woman. Sober. Free of pills. Responsible.
Without a Higher Power I found in the Fellowship, my life would be meaningless. I am full of gratitude to be a member of good standing in Alcoholics Anonymous.

April 1

LOOKING WITHIN
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 42

Step four is the vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what the liabilities in each of us have been, and are. I want to find exactly how, when, and where my natural desires have warped me. I wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and myself. By discovering what my emotional deformities are, I can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for me.
To resolve ambivalent feelings, I need to feel a strong and helpful sense of myself. Such an awareness doesn't happen overnight, and no one's self awareness is permanent. Everyone has the capacity for growth, and for self-awareness, through an honest encounter with reality. When I don't avoid issues but meet them directly, always trying to resolve them, they become fewer and fewer.


April 2

CHARACTER BUILDING
Demands made upon other people for too much attention, protection, and love can only invite domination or revulsion ....

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44

When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step, I didn't think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted to think of it more as an asset (that is, the desire to please people). It was quickly pointed out to me that this "need" can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy getting the approval of others, but I am not willing to pay the price I used to pay to get it. I will not bend myself into a pretzel to get others to like me. If I get your approval, that's fine; but if I don't, I will survive without it. I am responsible for speaking what I perceive to be the truth, not what I think others may want to hear.
Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened in the A. A. program, my aim is to improve my character.


April 3

ACCEPTING OUR HUMANNESS
We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man's. So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 222

Why is it that the alcoholic is so unwilling to accept responsibility? I used to drink because of the things that other people did to me. Once I came to A. A. I was told to look at where I had been wrong. What did I have to do with all these different matters? When I simply accepted that I had a part in them, I was able to put it on paper and see it for what it was--Humanness. I am not expected to be perfect! I have made errors before and I will make them again. To be honest about them allows me to accept them -- and myself -- and those with whom I had the differences; from there, recovery is just a short distance ahead.

April 4

CRYING FOR THE MOON
"This very real feeling of inferiority is magnified by his childish sensitivity and it is this state of affairs which generates in him that insatiable, abnormal craving for self-approval and success in the eyes of the world. Still a child, he cries for the moon. And the moon, it seems, won't have him.!"

LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 102

While drinking I seemed to vacillate between feeling totally invisible and believing I was the center of the universe. Searching for that elusive balance between the two has become a major part of my recovery. The moon I constantly cried for is, in sobriety, rarely full; it shows me instead its many other phases, and there are lessons in them all. True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer.

April 5

TRUE BROTHERHOOD
We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53

This message contained in Step Four was the first one I heard loud and clear; I hadn't seen myself in print before! Prior to my coming into A.A., I knew of no place that could teach me how to become a person among persons. From my very first meeting, I saw people doing just that and I wanted what they had. One of the reasons that I'm a happy, sober alcoholic today is that I'm learning this most important lessons.

Thanks Ian, for these reminders. I'm a grateful member of Al-Anon but I read the Big Book and usually attend one AA meeting a week. I have never seen these before.

Glad to be of help to you. There is plenty of good old fashioned wisdom in these words. Regardless of our ills the repairs are mostly the same.

One of the best feeling reality checks I ever did was something I took from an Al-Anon book mark. It goes as follows.

"Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do -- just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it."

I carry this thought with me daily to remember the world does not revolve around me! ehhe Cheers to you and yours.

Peace. Ian.

Thanks!
The Just for todays are read at every one of the meetings I go to here in AZ. My favorite today is Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the wor;d the world will give to me.
Keep coming back :)

Your input is very welcome. As with most things it is aways a big help to filter familiar messages through another's eyes.

Being unafraid to to enjoy what is beautiful.. is a sweet gift. Thanks for posting it. I hope you have a deep basket of such things to share here. I would be grateful for anything you might contribute.

I am struggling to exercise these principles with my 17 year old daughter who is at least as head strong as I am. Last night it occurred to me that I was behaving more like a 17 year old than a 45 year old father when I was getting bent out of shape with her 17ness.. < g >

Here's to growing up. Ian.

I'm going fishing for a few days so I hope you all behave yourselves..heheh Onward and upward friends.
Cheers! Ian.

April 7

A WIDE ARC OF GRATITUDE
And, speaking for Dr. Bob and myself, I gratefully declare that had it not been for our wives, Anne and Lois, neither of us could have lived to see A.A.'s beginning.

THE A.A. WAY OF LIFE, P. 67

Am I capable of such generous tribute and gratitude to my wife, parents and friends, without whose support I might never have survived to reach A.A.'s doors? I will work on this and try to see the plan my Higher Power is showing me which links our lives together.

===============


April 8

AN INSIDE LOOK
We want to find exactly how, when and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 43

Today I am no longer a slave to alcohol, yet in so many ways enslavement still threatens--my self, my desires, even my dreams. Yet without dreams I cannot exist; without dreams there is nothing to keep me moving forward.
I must look inside myself, to free myself, I must call upon God's power to face the person I've feared the most, the true me, the person God created me to be. Unless I can or until I do, I will always be running, and never be truly free. I ask God daily to show me such a freedom!

================

April 9

FREEDOM FROM "KING ALCOHOL"
...let us not suppose even for an instant that we are not under constraint.... Our former tyrant, King Alcohol, always stands ready again to clutch us to him. Therefore, freedom from alcohol is the great "must" that has to be achieved, else we go mad or die.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 134

When drinking, I lived in spiritual, emotional, and sometimes, physical confinement. I had constructed my prison with bars of self-will and self-indulgence, from which I could not escape. Occasional dry spells that seemed to promise freedom would turn out to be little more than hopes of a reprieve. True escape required a willingness to follow whatever right actions were needed to turn the lock. With that willingness and action, both the lock and the bars themselves opened for me. Continued willingness and action keep me free--in a kind of extended daily probation--that need never end.

===============

April 10

GROWING UP
The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115

Sometimes when I've become willing to do what I should have been doing all along, I want praise and recognition. I don't realize that the more I'm willing to act differently, the more exciting my life is. The more I am willing to help others, the more rewards I receive. That's what practicing the principles means to me. Fun and benefits for me are in the willingness to do the actions, not to get immediate results. Being a little kinder, a little slower to anger, a little more loving makes my life a better--day by day.


=================

April 11

A WORD TO DROP: "BLAME
To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time, we could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our speech and thought.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47

When I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I noticed that my grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my blaming others for my not being able to succeed and to live up to my potential. I also discovered I felt different because I was black. As I continued to work on the Step, I learned that I always had drunk to rid myself of those feelings. It was only when I sobered up and worked on my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.

==============

April 12

GIVING UP INSANITY
....where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.

ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS p. 38

Alcoholism required me to drink, whether I wanted to or not. Insanity dominated my life and was the essence of my disease. It robbed me of the freedom of choice over drinking and, therefore, robbed me of all other choices. When I drank, I was unable to make effective choices in any part of my life and life became unmanageable.
I ask God to help me understand and accept the full meaning of the disease of alcoholism.


:bowl:

April 13

THE FALSE COMFORT OF SELF-PITY
Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238

The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an even bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first, toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen my own exaggerated suffering.

April 14

THE "NUMBER ONE OFFENDER"
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.

ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, p. 64

As I look at myself practicing the Fourth Step, it is easy to gloss over the wrong that I have done, because I can easily see it as a question of "getting even" for a wrong done to me. If I continue to relive my old hurt, it is a resentment and resentment bars the sunlight from my soul. If I continue to relive hurts and hates, I will hurt and hate myself. After years in the dark of resentments, I have found the sunlight. I must let go of resentments; I cannot afford them.

resentments..

These are killers for me..

April 15

THE BONDAGE OF RESENTMENTS
. . .harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 5

It has been said, "anger is a luxury I cannot afford." Does this suggest I ignore the human emotion? I believe not. Before I learned of the A.A. program, I was a slave to the behavior patterns of alcoholism. I was chained to negativity, with no hope of cutting loose.
The Steps offered me an alternative. Step Four was the beginning of the end of my bondage. The process of "letting go" started with an inventory. I needed not be frightened, for the previous Steps assured me I was not alone. My Higher Power led me to this door and gave me the gift of choice. Today I can choose to open the door to freedom and rejoice in the sunlight of the Steps, as they cleanse the spirit within me.

April 16

ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY"
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66

"Dubious luxury." How often have I remembered those words. It's not just anger that's best left to nonalcoholic; I built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false humility. I'm always surprised to read the actual quote. So well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank god I can't afford them -- or I surely would indulge in them.

April 18

SELF-HONESTY
The deception of others is nearly always rooted in deception of ourselves. . . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God.

AS BILL SEES IT, p.17

When I was drinking, I deceived myself about reality, rewriting it to what I wanted it to be. Deceiving others is a character defect -- even if it is just stretching the truth a bit or cleaning up my motives so others would think well of me. My Higher Power can remove this character defect, but first I have to help myself become willing to receive that help by not practicing deception. I need to remember each day that deceiving myself about myself is setting myself up for failure or disappointment in life and in Alcoholics Anonymous. A close, honest relationship with a Higher Power, is the only solid foundation I've found for honesty with self and with others.

April 19

BROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTS
We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them.

AS BILL SEES IT, p.167

The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritual--almost incomprehensible. But it is there. I "feel" it. Today I feel that I can help people and that they can help me.
It is a new and exciting feeling for me to care for someone; to care what they are feeling, hoping for, praying for; to know their sadness, joy, horror, sorrow, grief; to want to share those feelings so that someone can have relief. I never knew how to do this--or how to try. I never even cared. The Fellowship of AA, and God, are teaching me how to care about others.

April 20

SELF-EXAMINATION
. . . . we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86

When said sincerely, this prayer teaches me to be truly unselfish and humble, for even in doing good deeds I often used to seek approval and glory for myself. By examining my motives in all that I do, I can be of service to God and others, helping them do what they want to do. When I put God in charge of my thinking, much needless worry is eliminated and I believe He guides me throughout the day. When I eliminate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find peace with God, my neighbor and myself.

April 21

CULTIVATING FAITH
"I don't think we can do anything very well in this world unless we practice it. And I don't believe we do A.A. too well unless we practice it. . . . We should practice . . . acquiring the spirit of service . We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn't easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today. But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else. . . ."

DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMER'S, p. 307- 308

Fear is often the force that prevents me form acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, and serenity.



April 22

NEW SOIL . . . . NEW ROOTS
Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 173

I came to A.A. green--a seedling quivering with exposed taproots. It was for survival but it was a beginning. I stretched, developed, twisted, but with the help of others, my spirit eventually burst up from the roots. I was free. I acted, withered, went inside, prayed, acted again, understood anew, as one moment of perception struck. Up from my roots, sprit-arms lengthened into strong, green shoots: high-springing servants stepping skyward.
Here on earth God unconditionally continues the legacy of higher love. My A.A. life put me " on a different footing . . . . [my] roots grasped a new soil" (Alcoholics Anonymous, p 12).

April 23

A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A.. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285

In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings, sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may not be A cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living.

April 24

LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES
Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. . . We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others. . . We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252

When I did my personal inventory I found that I had unhealthy relationships with most people in my life--my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain.
It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps taught me to become my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love myself, I could reach out and love others.


April 25

ENTERING A NEW DIMENSION
In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new dimension--freedom under God as we understand Him.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 283

I am fortunate to be among the ones who have had this awesome transformation in my life. When I entered the doors of A.A., alone and desperate, I had been beaten into willingness to believe anything I heard. One of the things I heard was, "This could be your last hangover, or you can keep going round and round." The man who said this obviously was a whole lot better off than I. I liked the idea of admitting defeat and I have been free ever since! My heart heard what my mind never could: "Being powerless over alcohol is no big deal, "I'm free and I'm grateful!

April 26

HAPPINESS IS NOT THE POINT
I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge?

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 306

In my search "to be happy," I changed jobs, married and divorced, took geographical cures, and ran myself into debt--financially, emotionally and spiritually. In A.A. I'm learning to grow up. Instead of demanding that people, places and things make me happy, I can ask God for self-acceptance. When a problem overwhelms me, A.A.'s Twelve Steps will help me grow through the pain. The knowledge I gain can be a gift to others who suffer with the same problems. As Bill said, "When pain comes, we are expected to learn from it willingly, and help others learn. When happiness comes, we accept it as a gift, and thank God for it." (As Bill Sees It, p. 306)

April 27

JOYFUL DISCOVERIES
We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164

Sobriety is a journey of joyful discovery. Each day brings new experience, awareness, greater hope, deeper faith, broader tolerance. I must maintain these attributes or I will have nothing to pass on.
Great events for this recovering alcoholic are the normal everyday joys found in being able to live another day in God's grace.

April 28

TWO "MAGNIFICENT STANDARDS"
All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 271

To acknowledge and respect the views, accomplishments and prerogatives of others and to accept being wrong shows me the way of humility. To practice the principles of A.A. in all my affairs guides me to be responsible. Honoring these precepts gives credence to Tradition Four -- and to all other Traditions of the Fellowship. Alcoholics Anonymous has evolved a philosophy of life full of valid motivations, rich in highly relevant principles and ethical values, a view of life which can be extended beyond the confines of the alcoholic population. To honor these precepts I need only to pray, and care for my fellow man as if each one were my brother.

April 29

GROUP AUTONOMY
Some may think that we have carried the principle of group autonomy to extremes. For example, in its original "long form," Tradition Four declares; "Any two or three gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation."* . . . But this ultra-liberty is not so risky as it looks.

A.A. COMES OF AGE, pp, 104-05

As an active alcoholic, I abused every liberty that life afforded. How could A.A. expect me to respect the "ultra-liberty" bestowed by Tradition Four? Learning respect has become a lifetime job.
A.A. has made me fully accept the necessity of discipline and that, if I do not assert it from within, then I will pay for it. This applies to groups too. Tradition Four points me in a spiritual direction, in spite of my alcoholic inclinations.

* This is a misquote; Bill quoted the Third Tradition, but was referring to Tradition Four.

April 30

A GREAT PARADOX
These legacies of suffering and of recovery are easily passed among alcoholics, one to the other. This is our gift form God, and its bestowal upon others like us is the one aim that today animates A.A.'s all around the globe.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151

The great paradox of A.A. is that I know I cannot keep the precious gift of sobriety unless I give it away.
My primary purpose is to stay sober. In A.A, I have no other goal, and the importance of this is a matter of life or death for me. If I veer from this purpose I lose. But A.A. Is not only for me; it is for the alcoholic who still suffers. The legions of recovering alcoholics stay sober by sharing with fellow alcoholics. The way to my recovery is to show others in A.A. that when I share with them, we both grow in the grace of the Higher Power, and both of us are on the road to a happy destiny.

May 1

HEALING HEART AND MIND
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55

Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets to get in the way.
It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace.
By revealing my secrets -- and there by ridding myself of guilt -- I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.

May 2

LIGHTING THE DARK PAST
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have -- the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

No longer is my past an autobiography; it is a reference book to be taken down, opened and shared. Today as I report for duty, the most wonderful picture comes through. For, though this day be dark -- as some days must be -- the stars will shine even brighter later. My witness that they do shine will be called for in the very near future. All my past will this day be a part of me, because it is the key, not the lock.

May 3

CLEANING HOUSE
Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p 60

It wasn't unusual for me to talk to God, and myself, about my character defects. But to sit down, face to face, and openly discuss these intimacies with another person was much more difficult. I recognized in the experience, however, a similar relief to the one I had experienced when I first admitted I was an alcoholic. I began to appreciate the spiritual significance of the program and that this Step was just an introduction to what was yet to come in the remaining seven Steps.

May 4

"ENTIRELY HONEST"
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 73-74

Honesty, like all virtues, is to be shared. It began after I shared "...[my] whole life's story with someone..." in order to find my place in the Fellowship. Later I shared my life in order to help the newcomer find his place with us. This sharing helps me to learn honesty in all my dealings and to know that God's plan for me comes true through honest openness and willingness.


May 5

THE FOREST AND THE TREES
…what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get his direct comment and counsel on our situation....

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 60

I cannot count the times when I have been angry and frustrated and said to myself, "I can't see the forest for the trees!" I finally realized that what I needed when I was in such pain was someone who could guide me in separating the forest and the trees; who could suggest a better path to follow; who could assist me in putting out fires; and help me avoid the rocks and pitfalls.
I ask God, when I'm in the forest, to give me the courage to call upon a member of A.A.

May 6

"HOLD BACK NOTHING"
The real tests of the situation are your own willingness to confide and your full confidence in the one with whom you share your first accurate self-survey. ...Provided you hold back nothing, your sense of relief will mount from minute to minute. The dammed-up emotions of years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing tranquility takes its place.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 61-62

A tiny kernel of locked-in feelings began to unfold when I first attended A.A. meetings and self-knowledge then became a learning task for me. This new self-understanding brought about a change in my responses to life's situations. I realized I had the right to make choices in my life, and the inner dictatorship of habits slowly lost its grip.
I believe that if I seek God I can find a better way to live and I ask Him daily to assist me in living a sober life.

May 7

RESPECT FOR OTHERS
Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.

Alcoholics Anonymous Page 74
Respect for others is the lesson I take out of this passage. I must go to any lengths to free myself if I wish to find that peace of mind that I have sought for so long. However, none of this must be done at another's expense. Selfishness has no place in the AA way of life.
When I take the Fifth Step it's wiser to choose a person with whom I share common aims because if that person does not understand me, my spiritual progress may be delayed and I could be in danger of a relapse. So I ask for divine guidance before choosing the man or woman whom I take into my confidence.

May 8

A RESTING PLACE
All of AA's 12 Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires.... they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five. But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS Page 55
After writing down my character defects, I was unwilling to talk about them, and decided it was time to stop carrying this burden alone. I needed to confess those defects to someone else. I had read--and been told--I could not stay sober unless I did. Step Five provided me with a feeling of belonging, with humility and serenity when I practiced it in my daily living. It was important to admit my defects of character in the order presented in Step Five: "to God, to ourselves and to another human being." Admitting to God first paved the way for admission to myself and another person. As the taking of the Step is described, a feeling of being at one with God and my fellow man brought me to a resting place where I could prepare myself for the remaining Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety.

How long have you been doing this?

Doing what? I joined AA in 1990. I have been using the forums since last November. I've been posting this since this string of encouragment since the first one.. ;^)
Cheers! Ian.

May 9

WALKING THROUGH FEAR
If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us to be willing.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Page 76
When I had taken my Fifth Step, I became aware that all my defects of character stemmed from my need to feel secure and loved. To use my will alone to work on them would have been trying obsessively to solve the problem. In the Sixth Step I intensified the action I had taken in the first three Steps--meditating on the Step by saying it over and over, going to meetings, following my sponsor's suggestions, reading and searching within myself. During the first three years of sobriety I had a fear of entering an elevator alone. One day I decided I must walk through this fear. I asked for God's help, entered the elevator, and there in the corner was a lady crying. She said that since her husband had died she was deathly afraid of elevators. I forgot my fear and comforted her. This spiritual experience helped me to see how willingness was the key to working the rest of the Twelve Steps to recovery. God helps those who help themselves.

May 10

FREE AT LAST
Another great dividend we may expect from confiding our defects to another human being is humility--a word often misunderstood..... it amounts to a clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS Page 58
I knew deep inside that if I were ever to be joyous, happy and free, I had to share my past life with some other individual. The joy and relief I experienced after doing so were beyond description. Almost immediately after taking the Fifth Step, I felt free from the bondage of self and the bondage of alcohol. That freedom remains after 36 years, a day at a time. I found that God could do for me what I couldn't do for myself.

May 11

A NEW SENSE OF BELONGING
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS Page 57
After four years in AA I was able to discover the freedom from the burden of buried emotions that had caused me so much pain. With the help of AA, and extra counseling, the pain was released and I felt a complete sense of belonging and peace. I also felt a joy and a love of God that I had never experienced before. I am in awe of the power of Step Five.

May 12

THE PAST IS OVER
AA experience has taught us we cannot live alone with our pressing problems and the character defects which cause or aggravate them. If... Step Four... has revealed in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember... then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever. We have to talk to somebody about them.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS Page 55
Whatever is done is over. It cannot be changed. But my attitude about it can be changed through talking with those who have gone before and with sponsors. I can wish the past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what I have done, my attitude will change. I won't have to wish the past away. I can change my feelings and attitudes, but only through my actions and the help of my fellow alcoholics.

May 13

THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, Page 72
I certainly didn't leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially when the pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud. But I soon heard at meetings about the fellow member who just didn't want to take Step Five and kept coming back to meetings, trembling from the horrors of reliving his past. The easier, softer way is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.

I always take comments about "God" to mean whatever I can live with at the time. That way I don't have to throw out some excellent information just because I have issues with the "God" thang.. make sense?
Hope so.. Ian.

May 14

IT'S OKAY TO BE ME
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives.... they have turned to easier methods.... But they had not learned enough humility.....

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, Pages 72-73
Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself--and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally, it is okay to be me. It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I better have a sponsor--someone with whom I can share those "certain facts" that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work.

May 15

KNOW GOD; KNOW PEACE
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness... But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, Page 66

Know God;
Know peace.
No God;
No peace.

Originally posted by itschaotic
May 9

God helps those who help themselves.



I understand what that means, and there is a purpose for it.

Butt, it doesn't say that anywhere in the bible. The bible says god helps those who rely on him. I used to have a problem with the god thing too. But then I realized that I could have god the way I understand him. That made it clear that I was affected by ppl, and religion is ppl. Just my two cents ian. I'm learning a lot from you.

The big book is like the bible. I know that i can never be the person I think the book is telling me to be. That's why they throw in the "progress not perfection" to keep us coming back.
T

Oh please don't think this is my doing. The only thing I'm doing is posting what I find. Much of my sobriety I have used the AA publication "Reflections" daily readings. It was a natural to want to share something similar when I volunteered to moderate here.

It's a quiet corner and I'm grateful. I'm just getting back onto what seems like a level field.

I'm very careful about talking directly using the word God. A god of my not understanding. I'm always overwhelmed with the idea that I'd be so arrogant to have God pegged into a single label.

In the US for instance it has connotations of a quite puritanical element that might not be quite as useful elsewhere.

If I insist on a "higher power" then I remain open to all. It's just my lame little quirk.. don't give me too bad a time about.. ok?...hehehe I'm sensitive you know!! < g >

There have been plenty of fine spiritual texts through the ages. Many of them I believe would help people develope diversity, tolerance and simple wisdom to an even greater degree.

Monocultures are dead and or dying. We needn't fear the Buddist or the Jew.. or whatever.

The bible is for me only one of many sacred texts. One of my favorites is a small little book that I treat very much like a prayer book. It is written by Barry Lopez and is called "
Desert Notes: Reflections in the Eye of a Raven ." I have given away so many copies... ehhe Wish I could pass one your way. It's a little treasure.

God is a dynamic thing I'm not too interested in defining very closely. However let there be no doubt that without my higher power I am nothing.
Cheers! Ian.

Those were excellent posts.Thanks.I recently had to change home groups. Sometime when I get more time I'll get into the ethical pitfalls of living and practicing in a rural area AND being in recovery. But for now, Im greatful to be clean and sober and to have this forum and the people in it to talk with. Thanks again.

May 16

WE FORGIVE.....
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisors that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-around forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, Page 58

What a great feeling forgiveness is! What a revelation about my emotional, psychological and spiritual nature. All it takes is willingness to forgive; God will do the rest.

May 17

..... AND FORGIVE
Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others--also myself.

AS BILL SEES IT, Page 268

Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of AA allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may--by the grace of God as I understand Him--be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.

mctavish23 great to hear from you. Ramp up a new thread in this forum any time. I'm in the bush too so I'm sure there are things we have in common.
Cheers! Ian.

May 18

FREEDOM TO BE ME
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, Page 83

My first true freedom is the freedom of not to have to take a drink today. If I truly want it, I will work the Twelve Steps and the happiness of this freedom will come to me through the Steps--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Other freedoms will follow, and inventorying them is a new happiness. I had a new freedom today, the freedom to be me. I have the freedom to be the best me I have ever been.

May 19

GIVING WITHOUT STRINGS
And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return.

AS BILL SEES IT, Page 69

The concept of giving without strings was hard to understand when I first came into the program. I was suspicious when others wanted to help me. I thought, "What do they want in return?" But I soon learned the joy of helping another alcoholic and I understood why they were there for me in the beginning. My attitudes changed and I wanted to help others. Sometimes I became anxious, as I wanted them to know the joys of sobriety, that life can be beautiful. When my life is full of a loving God of my understanding and I give that love to my fellow alcoholic, I feel a special richness that is hard to explain.

I was suspicious when others wanted to help me. I thought, "What do they want in return?" itschaotic


I felt mush the same way. When I first got sober, I used to look in the mail for the bill from AA.;) Now I know that this sobriety is a gift. If you give a gift with any expectation of return, then it is no longer a gift, its a bribe.

What I get back from helping others doesn't come from directly the individual. It comes from God and it's the daily reprieve from the seemingly hopeless condition of body, mind and spirit. It's the gift of Sobriety. I can't think of anything better than that.

Jerry.. the good news is that all of life is just like that.. a gift to pay forward.
Welcome to the forums. Post well, post often.

Cheers! Ian.

May 20

ONE DAY AT A TIME
Above all, take it one day at a time.

AS BILL SEES IT, Page 11

Why do I kid myself that I must stay away from a drink for only one day, when I know perfectly well I must never drink again as long as I live? I am not kidding myself because one day at a time is probably the only way I can reach the long-range objective of staying sober.
If I determine that I shall never drink again as long as I live, I set myself up. How can I be sure I won't drink when I have no idea what the future may hold?
On a day-at-a-time basis, I am confident I can stay away from a drink for one day. So I set out with confidence. At the end of the day, I have the reward of achievement. Achievement feels good and that makes me want more!

May 21

A LIST OF A BLESSINGS
One exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings....

AS BILL SEES IT, Page . 37

What did I have to be grateful for? I shut myself up and started listing the blessings for which I was in no way responsible, beginning with having been born of sound mind and body. I went through seventy-four years of living right up to the present moment. The list ran to two pages, and took two hours to compile; I included health, family, money, A.A. the whole gamut.
Every day in my prayers, I ask God to help me remember my list, and to be grateful for it throughout the day. When I remember my gratitude list, it’s very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.

One answer i've found for adhd in a.a. is one day at a time.
The inability to focus or complete projects or even organize all the little pieces of paper has dogged me always.
A.A. teaches "one day at a time" and "practice these principles in all our affairs". I've modified the "one day at a time" into " a little bit at a time". I've been able to start something and do it for as long as I can stand it, then come back to it later. Even if it is just a few minutes of something, it really helps to break it down to "one minute at a time" if I have to.

bluesman that is a central theme in my life. I keep saying "do what you can" and hoping someone will try it. What I can do is whatever "little bit" that I know I can nail! If the project is too big I tend to come apart at the seams. Small bits often is how I'm treating most things these days. Although today was on greased rails. Wow I put out a lot of energy.. at least for me I did.
Cheers! Ian.

Ian,

Have you read Adult Children of Alcoholics? It didn't really apply, so my attention wasn't turned in that direction. But I learned through A.A. to look for similarities, take what you need etc.
So, I read acoa and found some very interesting "things" in there.
One phrase that hit home for me was: You tend to give loyalty to those who don't deserve it.
I actually copied several books afer being in a.a. for a few years .

I would say I have some elements of that loyalty within.. Worth considering. Thanks.
Ian.

May 23

SPIRITUAL HEALTH
When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 64

It is very difficult for me to come to terms with my spiritual illness because of my great pride, disguised by my material successes and my intellectual power. Intelligence is not incompatible with humility, provided I place humility first. To seek prestige and wealth is the ultimate goal for many in the modern world. To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness.
To recognize and to admit my weaknesses is the beginning of good spiritual health. It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God every day to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it. My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others.

May 24

"HAPPY, JOYOUS, AND FREE"
We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free, We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 123

For years I believed in a punishing God and blamed Him for my misery. I have learned that I must lay down the "weapons" of self in order to pick up the "tools" of the A.A. program. I do not struggle with the program because it is a gift and I have never struggled when receiving a gift. If I sometimes keep on struggling, it is because I'm still hanging onto my old ideas and "...the results are nil."

May 25

PROGRESSIVE GRATITUDE
Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 29

I am very grateful that my Higher Power has given me a second chance to live a worthwhile life. Through Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been restored to sanity. The promises are being fulfilled in my life. I am grateful to be free from the slavery of alcohol. I am grateful for peace of mind and the opportunity to grow, but my gratitude should go forward rather than backward. I cannot stay sober on yesterday's meetings or past Twelfth-Step calls; I need to put my gratitude into action today. Our co-founder said our gratitude can best be shown by carrying the message to other. Without action, my gratitude is just a pleasant emotion. I need to put it into action by working Step Twelve, by carrying the message and practicing the principles in all my affairs. I am grateful for the chance to carry the message today!

May 26

TURNING NEGATIVE TO POSITIVE
Our spiritual and emotional growth in A.A. does not depend so deeply upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you will bear this in mind, I think that your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs, instead of down.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 184

In keeping with the pain and adversity which our founders encountered and overcame in establishing A.A., Bill W. sent us a clear message: a relapse can provide a positive experience toward abstinence and a lifetime of recovery. A relapse brings truth to what we hear repeatedly in meetings -- "Don't take that first drink!" It reinforces the belief in the progressive nature of the disease, and it drives home the need for, and beauty of, humility in our spiritual program. Simple truths come in complicated ways to me when I become ego driven.

May 27

NO MAUDLIN GUILT
Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection. So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt....

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 15

When I first discovered that there is not a single "don't " in the Twelve Steps of A.A., I was disturbed because this discovery swung open a giant portal. Only then was I able to realize what A.A. is for me:

A.A. is not a program of "don't"s, but of "do's"
A.A. is not martial law; it is freedom.
A.A. is not tears over defects, but sweat over fixing them.
A.A. is not penitence; it is salvation.
A.A. is not "Woe to me" for my sins, past and present.
A.A. is "Praise God" for the progress I am making today.

May 28

EQUAL RIGHTS
At one time or another most A.A. groups go on rule making benders.... After a time fear and intolerance subside. [and we realize] We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism. We wish to be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive.

"AA.. TRADITIONS, HOW IT DEVELOPED," pp. 10,11,12

A.A. offered me complete freedom and accepted me into Fellowship for myself. Membership did not depend upon conformity, financial success or education and I am so grateful for that. I often ask myself if I extend the same equality to others or if I deny them the freedom to be different. Today I try to replace my fear and intolerance with faith, patience, love and acceptance. I can bring these strengths to my A.A. group, my home and my office. I make an effort to bring my positive attitude everywhere that I go.
I have neither the right, nor the responsibility, to judge other. Depending on my attitude I can view newcomers to A.A., family members and friends as menaces or as teachers. When I think of some of my past judgments, it is clear how my self-righteousness caused me spiritual harm.

May 29

TRUE TOLERANCE
The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139

I first heard the short form of the Third Tradition in the Preamble. When I came to A.A. I could not accept myself, my alcoholism, or a Higher Power. If there had been any physical, mental, moral, or religious requirements for membership, I would be dead today. Bill W. said in his tape on the Traditions that the Third Tradition is a charter for individual freedom. The most impressive thing to me was the feeling of acceptance from members who were practicing the Third Tradition by tolerating and accepting me. I feel acceptance is love and love is God's will for us.

Those are excellent meditation posts and I appreciate them. They remind me of my need to work a better program and be more tolerant. Thanks again.:)

mctavish23 it's always good to hear that someone is reading them. Thanks for taking the time to say what you did.

Most of the information and suggestions are good no matter whether you have substance abuse problems or not.

There is often debate about what is ADD/ADHD and what isn't but one thing stays the same. The "fix" for me is often just living skills learnt well. "The program" is based on some very fundamental rules of good conduct. I have learnt a lot there and hope to continue to improve my "practise".

It's all in the doing. Knowing is only a very early first step.

I'm going to try and get back to a formal meditation time this summer. Because I'm so busy inside my head, it has helped in the past to sit quietly for twenty minutes morning and night.

Ian of the rich inner life. Or can you hear those voices too? < g >

May 30

OUR PRIMARY PURPOSE
The more A.A. sticks to its primary purpose, the greater will be its helpful influence everywhere.

A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 109

It is with gratitude that I reflect on the early days of our Fellowship and those wise and loving "foresteppers" who proclaimed that we should not be diverted from our primary purpose, that of carrying the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
I desire to impart respect to those who labor in the field of alcoholism, being ever mindful that A.A. endorses no causes other than its own. I must remember that A.A. has no monopoly on miracle-making and I remain humbly grateful to a loving God who made A.A. possible.

May 31

READINESS TO SERVE OTHERS
....our Society has concluded that it has but one high mission--to carry the A.A. message to those who don't know there's a way out.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151

The "Light" to freedom shines bright on my fellow alcoholics as each one of us challenges the other to grow. The "Steps" to self-improvement have small beginnings, but each Step builds the "ladder" out of the pit of despair to new hope. Honesty becomes my "tool" to unfurl the "chains" which bound me. A sponsor, who is a caring listener, can help me to truly hear the message guiding me to freedom.
I ask God for the courage to live in such a way that the Fellowship may be a testimony to His favor. This mission frees me to share my gifts of wellness through a spirit of readiness to serve others.

June 1

A CHANGED OUTLOOK
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

When I was drinking, my attitude was totally selfish, totally self-centered; my pleasure and my comfort came first. Now that I am sober, self-seeking has started to slip away. My whole attitude toward life and the people is changing. For me, the first "A" in our name stands for attitude. My attitude is changed by the second "A" in our name, which stands for action. By working the Steps, attending meetings, and carrying the message, I can be restored to sanity. Action is the magic word! With a positive, helpful attitude and regular A.A. action, I can stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. My attitude now is that I am willing to go to any length to stay sober!

June 2

THE UPWARD PATH
Here are the steps we took....

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

These are the words that lead into the Twelve Steps. In their direct simplicity they sweep aside all psychological and philosophical considerations about the rightness of the Steps. They describe what I did: I took the Steps and sobriety was the result. These words do not imply that I should walk the well-trodden path of those who went before, but rather that there is a way for me to become sober and that it is a way I shall have to find. It is a new path, one that leads to infinite light at the top of a mountain. The Steps advise me about the footholds that are safe and about chasms to avoid. They provide me with the tools I need during the many parts of the solitary journey of my soul. When I speak of this journey, I share my experience, strength and hope with others.

June 3

ON A WING AND A PRAYER
....we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

Step Four and Five were difficult, but worthwhile. Now I was struck on Step Six and, in despair, I picked up the Big Book and read this passage. I was outside, praying for willingness, when I raised my eyes and saw a huge bird rising in the sky. I watched it suddenly give itself up to the powerful air currents of the mountains. Swept along, swooping and soaring, the bird did things seemingly impossible for mortal birds to do. It was an inspiring example of a fellow creature "letting go" to a power greater than itself. I realized that if the bird "took back his will" and tried to fly with less trust, on its power alone, it would spoil its apparent free flight. That insight granted me the willingness to pray the Seventh Step Prayer.
It's not easy to know God's will in each circumstance. I must search out and be ready for the currents, and that's where prayer and meditation help! Because I am, of myself, nothing, I ask God to grant me the knowledge of His will and the power and courage to carry it out--today.

June 4

LETTING GO OF OUR OLD SELVES
Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building and arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.... Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp.75, 76

The Sixth Step is the last " preparation" Step. Although I have already used prayer extensively, I have made no formal request of my Higher Power in the first Six Steps. I have identified my problem, come to believe that there is a solution, made a decision to seek this solution, and have "cleaned house." I now ask: Am I willing to live a life of sobriety, of change, to let go of my old self? I must determine if I am truly ready to change. I review what I have done and become willing for God to remove all my defects of character; for in the next Step, I will tell my Creator I am willing and will ask for help. If I have been thorough in the preparation of my foundation and feel that I am willing to change, I am then ready to continue with the next Step. "If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76.)

June 5

ENTIRELY READY?
"This is the Step that separates the men from the boys".... the difference between "the boys and the men" is the difference between striving for a self-determined objective and for the perfect objective which is of God.... It is suggested that we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward perfection.... The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the grace of God.... This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God's will for us.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 63, 68, 69

Am I entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character? Do I know at long last that I cannot save myself? I have come to believe that I cannot. If I am unable, if my best intentions go wrong, if my desires are selfishly motivated and if my knowledge and will are limited--then I am ready to embrace God's will for my life.

June 6

ALL WE DO IS TRY?
Can He now take them all - every one?

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

In doing Step Six it helped me a lot to remember that I am striving for "spiritual progress." Some of my character defects may be with me for the rest of my life, but most have been toned down or eliminated. All that Step Six asks of me is to become willing to name my defects, claim them as my own, and be willing to discard the ones I can, just for today. As I grow in the program, many of my defects become more objectionable to me than previously and, therefore, I need to repeat Step Six so that I can become happier with myself and maintain my serenity.

June 7

LONG-TERM HOPE
Since most of us are born with an abundance of natural desires, it isn't strange that we often let these far exceed their intended purpose. When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand that they supply us with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our character defects, or if you wish, of our sins.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65

This is where long-term hope is born and perspective is gained, both of the nature of my illness and the path of my recovery. The beauty of A.A. lies in knowing that my life, with God's help, will improve. The A.A. journey becomes richer, the understanding becomes truth, the dreams become realities--and today becomes forever.
As I step into the A.A. light, my heart fills with the presence of God.

June 8

OPENING UP TO CHANGE
Self-searching is the means by which we bring new vision, action, and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. With it comes the development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive God's help. ...we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life--the one that did not work--for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.

AS BILL SEES IT, pp. 10,8

I have been given a daily reprieve contingent upon my spiritual condition, provided I seek progress, not perfection. To become ready for change, I practice willingness, opening myself to possibilities of change. If I realize there are defects that hinder my usefulness in A.A. and toward others, I become ready by meditating and receiving direction. "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely" (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58). To let go and let God, I need only surrender my old ways to Him; I no longer fight nor do I try to control, but simply believe that, with God's help, I am changed and affirming this belief makes me ready. I empty myself to be full of awareness, light, and love, and I am ready to face each day with hope.

June 9

LIVING IN THE NOW
First, we try living in the now just in order to stay sober--and it works. Once the idea has become a part of our thinking, we find that living life in 24-hour segments is an effective and satisfying way to handle many other matters as well.

LIVING SOBER, p. 7

"One Day At A Time." To a newcomer this and other one-liners of A.A. may seem ridiculous. The passwords of the A.A. Fellowship can become life-lines in moments of stress. Each day can be like a rose unfurling according to the plan of a Power greater than myself. My program should be planted in the right location, just as it will need to be groomed, nourished, and protected form disease. My planting will require patience, and my realizing that some flowers will be more perfect that others. Each stage of the petals' unfolding can bring wonder and delight if I do not interfere or let my expectations over ride my acceptance--and this brings serenity.

June 10

IMPATIENT? TRY LEVITATING
We reacted more strongly to frustrations than normal people

AS BILL SEES IT. P. 111

Impatience with other people is one of my principal failings. Following a slow car in a no-passing lane, or waiting in a restaurant for the check, drives me to distraction. Before I give God a chance to slow me down, I explode, and that's what I call being quicker than God. That repeated experience gave me an idea. I thought if I could look down on these events from God's point of view, I might better control my feelings and behavior. I tried it and when I encountered the next slow driver, I levitated and looked down on the other car and upon myself. I saw and elderly couple driving along, happily chatting about their grandchildren. They were followed by me--bug-eyed and red of face--who had no time schedule to meet anyway. I looked so silly that I dropped back into reality and slowed down. Seeing things from God's angle of vision can be very relaxing.


June 11

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS
....a spiritual life which does not include .....family obligations may not be so perfect after all.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129

I can be doing great in the program--applying it at meetings, at work, and in service activities--and find that things have gone to pieces at home. I expect my loved ones to understand, but they cannot. I expect them to see and value my progress, but they don’t--unless I show them. Do I neglect their needs and desires for my attention and concern? When I'm around them, am I irritable or boring? Are my "amends" a mumbled "Sorry," or do they take the form of patience and tolerance? Do I preach to them, trying to reform or "fix" them? Have I ever really cleaned house with them? The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83)

June 12

FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS
But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53

Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into my sober life! In my sobriety I will meditate and pray to discover how I may be a trusted friend and companion.

June 13

LIVING OUR AMENDS
"Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill."

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 122

It is important for me to realize that, as an alcoholic, I not only hurt myself, but also those around me. Making amends to my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering, will always be important. Understanding the havoc I created and trying to repair the destruction, will be a lifelong endeavor. The example of my sobriety may give others hope, and faith to help themselves.

It was nice to see these today....I went to a Big Book OA meeting this morning...and right now I'm really trying to get back into working a solid program.....I admire your willingness to work the program and stay sober no matter what....

I like that -- not only hurt myself, but also those around me...so true....

Just a note of correction. I've lost my primary requirement of membership. I no longer have a desire to stop drinking.

I'll take this response to another thead here and keep this one for the dailies..

I'd welcome comments in the new thread. I hope it doesn't start a flood. Or linching.
Cheers! Ian.

June 14

WHEN THE GOING GETS ROUGH
It is a design for living that works in rough going.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 15

When I came to A.A., I realized that A.A. worked wonderfully to help keep me sober. But could it work on real life problems, no concerned with drinking? I had my doubts. After being sober for more then two years I got my answer. I lost my job, developed physical problems, my diabetic father lost a leg, and someone I loved left me for another--and all of this happened during a two-week period. Reality crashed in, yet A.A. was there to support, comfort, and strengthen me. The principles I had learned during my early days of sobriety became a mainstay of my life for not only did I come through, but I never stopped being able to help newcomers. A.A. taught me not to be overwhelmed, but rather to accept and understand my life as it unfolded.

June 15

MAKING A.A. YOUR HIGHER POWER
"...You can... make A.A. itself your 'higher power.' Here's a very large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem. ...many members... have crossed the threshold just this way. ...their faith broadened and deepened. ...transformed, they came to believe in a Higher Power...."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p . 27-28

No one was greater than I, at least in my eyes, when I was drinking. Nevertheless, I couldn't smile at myself in the mirror, so I came to A.A. where, with others, I heard talk of a Higher Power. I couldn't accept the concept of a Higher Power because I believed God was cruel and unloving. In desperation I chose a table, a tree, then my A.A. group, as my Higher Power. Time passed, my life improved, and I began to wonder about this Higher Power. Gradually, with patience, humility and a lot of questions, I came to believe in God. Now my relationship with my Higher Power gives me the strength to live a happy, sober life.

June 16

OPEN-MINDEDNESS
We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 7

Open-mindedness to concepts of a Higher Power can open doors to the spirit. Often I find the human spirit in various dogmas and faiths. I can be spiritual in the sharing of myself. The sharing of self joins me to the human race and brings me closer to God, as I understand Him.

June 17

"DEEP DOWN WITHIN US"
We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. . . . search diligently within yourself. . .. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55

It was out of the depths of loneliness, depression and despair that I sought the help of A.A. As I recovered and began to face the emptiness and ruin of my life, I began to open myself to the possibility of the healing that recovery offers through the A.A. program. By coming to meetings, staying sober, and taking the Steps, I had the opportunity to listen with increasing attentiveness to the depths of my soul. Daily I waited, in hope and gratitude, for that sure belief and steadfast love I had longed for in my life. In this process, I met my God, as I understand Him.

June 18

A FELLOWSHIP OF FREEDOM
...if only men were granted absolute liberty, and were compelled to obey no one, they would then voluntarily associate themselves in the common interest.

AS BILL SEES IT. P. 50

When I no longer live under the dictates of another or of alcohol, I live in a new freedom. When I release the past and all the excess baggage I have carried for so very long, I come to know freedom. I have been introduced into a life and fellowship of freedom. The Steps are a "recommended" way of finding a new life, there are no commands or dictates in A.A. I am free to serve from desire rather than decree. There is the understanding that I will benefit from the growth of other members and I take what I learn and bring it back to the group. The "common welfare" finds room to grow in the society of personal freedom.

June 19

"A.A. REGENERATION"
Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one.

A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46

A thousand beatings by John Barleycorn did not encourage me to admit defeat. I believed it was my moral obligation to conquer my "enemy-friend." At my first A.A. meeting I was blessed with a feeling that it was all fright to admit defeat to a disease which had nothing to do with my "moral fiber." I knew instinctively that I was in the presence of a great love when I entered the doors of A.A. With no effort on my part, I became aware that to love myself was good and right, as God had intended. My feelings set me free, where my thoughts had held me in bondage. I am grateful.

June 20

RELEASE FROM FEAR
The problem of resolving fears has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 61

Most of my decisions were based on fear. Alcohol made life easier to face, but the time came when alcohol was no longer an alternative to fear. One of the greatest gifts in A.A. for me has been the courage to take action, which I can do with God's help. After five years of sobriety I had to deal with a heavy dose of fear. God put the people in my life to help me do that and, through my working the Twelve

June 21

FEAR AND FAITH
The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion--well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263

Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith--and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power--helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free.

June 22

TODAY, I'M FREE
This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power-- that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else, I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 114

I am learning to practice acceptance in all circumstances of my life, so that I may enjoy peace of mind. At one time life was a constant battle because I felt I had to go through each day fighting myself, and everyone else. Eventually, this became a losing battle. I ended up getting drunk and crying over my misery. When I began to let go and let God take over my life I began to have peace of mind. Today, I am free. I do not have to fight anybody or anything anymore.

June 23

TRUSTING OTHERS
But does trust require that we be blind to other people's motives or, indeed, to our own? Not at all; this would be folly. Most certainly, we should assess the capacity for harm as well as the capability for good in every person that we would trust. Such a private inventory can reveal the degree of confidence we should extend in any given situation.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 144

I am not a victim of others, but rather a victim of my expectations, choices and dishonesty. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt. When my choices are based on self-centeredness, I find I am lonely and distrustful. I gain confidence in myself, however, when I practice honesty in all my affairs. When I search my motives and am honest and trusting, I am aware of the capacity for harm in situations and can avoid those that are harmful.

June 24

A SPIRITUAL KINDERGARTEN
We are only operating a spiritual kindergarten in which people are enabled to get over drinking and find the grace to go on living to better effect.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 95

When I came to A.A., I was run down by the bottle and wanted to lose the obsession to drink, but I didn’t really know how to do that. I decided to stick around long enough to find out from the ones who went before me. All of a sudden I was thinking about God! I was told to get a Higher Power and I had no idea what one looked like. I found out there are many Higher Powers. I was told to find God, as I understand Him, that there was no doctrine of the Godhead in A.A. I found what worked for me and then asked that Power to restore me to sanity. The obsession to drink was removed and--one day at a time--my life went on, and I learned how to live sober.

June 25

A TWO-WAY STREET
If we ask, God will certainly forgive our derelictions. But in no case does He render us white as snow and keep us that way without our cooperation.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65

When I prayed, I used to omit a lot of things for which I needed to be forgiven. I thought that if I didn't mention these things to God, He would never know about them. I did not know that if I had just forgiven myself for some of my past deeds, God would forgive me also. I was always taught to prepare for the journey through life, never realizing until I came to A.A.--when I honestly became willing to be taught forgiveness and forgiving--that life itself is the journey. The journey of life is a very happy one, as long as I am willing to accept change and responsibility.

June 26

A GIFT THAT GROWS WITH TIME
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 151

The longer I chased these elusive feelings with alcohol, the more out of reach they were. However, by applying this passage to my sobriety, I found that it described the magnificent new life made available to me by the A.A. program. "It" truly does "get better" one day at a time. The warmth, the love and the joy so simply expressed in these words grow in breadth and depth each time I read it. Sobriety is a gift that grows with time.

June 27

CONFORMING TO THE A.A. WAY
We obey A.A.'s Steps and Traditions because we really want them for ourselves. It is no longer a question of good or evil; we conform because we genuinely want to conform. Such is our process of growth in unity and function. Such is the evidence of God's grace and love among us.

A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 106

It is fun to watch myself grow in A.A. I fought conformity to A.A. principles from the moment I entered, but I learned from the pain of my belligerence that, in choosing to live the A.A. way of life, I opened myself to God's grace and love. Then I began to know the full meaning of being a member of Alcoho

June 28

THE DETERMINATION OF OUR FOUNDERS
A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 159

If it had not been for the fierce determination of our founders, A.A. would have quickly faded like so many other so-called good causes. I look at the hundreds of meetings weekly in the city where I live and I know A.A. is available twenty-four hours a day. If I had had to hang on with nothing but hope and a desire not to drink, experiencing rejection wherever I went, I would have sought the easier, softer way and returned to my previous way of life.

Sorry folks with the down time and all I have missed a few days. I'll pick it up now with the few missing days left out.

July 1 THE BEST FOR TODAY

The principles we have set down are guides to progress. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60

Just as a sculptor will use different tools to achieve desired effects in creating a work of art, in Alcoholics Anonymous the Twelve Steps are used to bring about results in my own life. I do not overwhelm myself with life's problems, and how much more work needs to be done. I let myself be comforted in knowing that my life is now in the hands of my Higher Power, a master craftsman who is shaping each part of my life into a unique work of art. By working my program I can be satisfied, knowing that "I doing the best that we can for today, we are doing all that God asks of us."

July 2

THE HEART OF TRUE SOBRIETY
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 570

Am I honest enough to accept myself as I am and let this be the "me" that I let others see? Do I have the willingness to go to any length, to do whatever is necessary to stay sober? Do I have the open-mindedness to hear what I have to hear, to think what I have to think, and to fell what I have to feel?
If my answer to the questions is "Yes" I know enough about the spirituality of the program to stay sober. As I continue to work the Twelve Steps, I move on to the heart of true sobriety: serenity with myself, with others, and with God as I understand Him.

July 3

EXPERIENCE: THE BEST TEACHER
Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87

Some say that experience is the best teacher, but I believe that experience is the only teacher. I have been able to learn of God's love for me only by the experience of my dependence on that love. At first I could not be sure of His direction in my life, but now I see that if I am to be bold enough to ask for His guidance, I must act as if He has provided it. I frequently ask God to help me remember that He has a path for me.

July 4

A NATURAL FAITH
.... deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p55.

I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eating and sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.

July 5

A NEW DIRECTION
Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly . . . Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of god's will into all our activities.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p 45, 85.

I hear talk of the "weak-willed" alcoholic, but I am one of the strongest willed people on earth! I now know that my incredible strength of will is not enough to save my life. My problem is not one of "weakness," but rather of direction. When I, without falsely diminishing myself, accept my honest limitations and turn to God's guidance, my worst faults become my greatest assets. My strong will, rightly directed, keeps me working until the promises of the program become my daily reality.

July 6

IDENTIFYING FEAR ...
The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear….

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 76.

When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear. This "evil and corroding thread" is the root of my distress: Fear of failure; fear of other's opinions; fear of harm; and many other fears. I have found a higher Power who does not want me to live in fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my life is freedom and joy. I am no longer willing to live with the multitude of character defects that characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven is my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This method works for me without fail and is one of the great miracles of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous.

July 7

. . . AND LETTING GO OF IT
. . . primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 76.

Peace is possible for me only when I let go of expectations. When I'm trapped in thoughts about what I want and what should be coming to me, I'm in a state of fear or anxious anticipation and this is not conducive to emotional sobriety. I must surrender over and over to the reality of my dependence of God, for then I find peace, gratitude and spiritual security.

July 8

AN EVER-GROWING FREEDOM
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 76.

When I finally asked God to remove those things blocking me from Him and the sunlight of the Spirit, I embarked on a journey more glorious than I ever imagined. I experienced a freedom from those characteristics that had me wrapped up in myself. Because of this humbling Step, I feel clean.
I am especially aware of this Step because I'm now able to be useful to God and to my fellows, I know that He has granted me strength to do His bidding and has prepared me for anyone, and anything, that comes my way today. I am truly in His hands, and I give thanks for the joy that I can be useful today.

July 9

I AM AN INSTRUMENT
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 70.

The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.

God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me. In the light of this awareness, how can I take pride in my accomplishments? I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by God through me. I ask God on a daily basis to remove my shortcomings, in order that I may more freely go about my A.A. business of "love and service."