I bought some speed, a few weeks ago no idea why, I suppose i thought foolishly out of desperation it might help my partner he did need help and I didnt feel like the dr understood how bad he was feeling he had some very low moments, I / we had tried it many many years ago just the odd time

anyway he wouldnt have any, so what with me worrying my self sick about everything and living with his constant moods, my memory and concentration been bad total confusion some days i cant think at all, probably due to too many diazepam which im currently been prescribed a few more of in an attempt to stop me drinking, ive reduced them down recently

I decided to have it myself (the speed) well i found i could read and concentrate better just generally think clearer, also lost the desire to drink,
well that hasnt lasted very long, I tried just a small amount each evening,But I think im becoming more tolerant and depending on it ,

I feel better that i am no longer drinking to excess ,But feel seriously guilty about what I seem to have replaced it with, I run out and there wasn't any available last week and ended up buying ecstasy, and being up all night , felt quite ill the next day due to zero sleep,
Im writing this at 430 am knowing i have to be up at 7 , did the same last night , slept in on a school day, felt ill all day

I have no idea what to do ,I darn't mention it to the dr, And I just feel massive so guilty because I have 2 children that need help and a partner that needs help , so really need to get a grip on things,

I cant seem to get through a day without using/abusing some substance and its getting worse , I set myself little things that I should be doing like eating properly something Ive never done or had interest in, never manage to stick to these good ideas i get

Is dexdrine anything at all like street amphetamine ?, I doubt if I could get any anyway , but what I dont like about this is i really have no idea what im taking really

I had guilt when i was drinking too much , but i didnt feel as bad as I do now with it being legal

all i would like is to go through the day without feeling anxious/ sick and get less confused, I want to be healthy & even stop smoking as thats increased too

well im finally feeling tired should manage a couple of hours

and im waffling far too much , any thoughts or ideas would be appreciated

thanks

Hi Sarah

My advice would be to post this in another section, maybe the general section, as this UK part of forum doesn't get that many views in comparison and it sounds like you need a lot of input for the situation you are in.

You used speed to treat the ADHD symptoms and now it's spiralled into other drugs which, like speed, really wont help you manage ADHD - I think they will just add to your problems.

Have you been diagnosed ADHD? If so have you been offered any help for this, both medication and therapies etc?

I hope things are a better for you since your last post.

All the best : )