How do YOU feel about your therapist? [Archive] - ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community

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CityAtNight

10-03-08, 01:26 AM

Hi, new member here, although I've been reading some of the posts here for several months now.

I'm a fifty year old woman who has started seeing a clinical psychologist for an hour once a week since February of this year. This is the first time in my life I've gone for professional psychological help, so it's rather new for me. Mainly, I started seeing my therapist because of a depression I've developed over several years that is due to some pretty serious situational stresses that have come up. But one of the issues I'm looking to come to terms with is that I have long suspected ADD might play an important part in the reasons why I've wound up in the stressful situations I find myself in (now and in the past).

Anyway, not being familiar until now with consulting a psychological therapist, I'm wondering how some of you might feel about a therapist you're seeing now, or one you've seen in the past. To start the ball rolling, I'll give my assessment of my therapist so far.

My reasons for choosing her:

1) She was listed as being covered in my health plan. Out-of-pocket cost was an important consideration for me since I'm far from affluent, although steadily employed.

2) She is nearby - only a few minutes walk. And since I work rather odd hours, this facilitates my being able to see her and still be able to work my full five days a week.

3) She's a woman. Now, I'm certainly NOT saying there are no male therapists with the ability to understand and provide exemplary services to female patients. I'm sure there are many many male therapists out there who do a great job by their female patients. But in my case, I felt that I'd have a better chance at getting a good therapist by choosing a woman because she'd have first-hand knowledge of what it is to be a female faced with coping with the daily situations we find ourselves in.

OK, now on to rating my therapist in terms of my experience with her so far. I'll get the negatives out of the way first:

1) She has a tendency to get a little too "New Age-y" at times. Mainly, this has presented itself as efforts on her part to make me try to visualize my stress as being contained in one area of my body, and trying to get me to do guided breathing exercises as a way to cope with my anxiety and depression. All I can say is that this was not what I was looking for in therapy at all. I am, and have always been, chiefly concerned with talking over my responses to my life's challenges, and identifying where I'm being self-defeating. By doing this, it is my intention to learn how I can eliminate the learned reactions that are doing me no good, and develop new ways of coping where it's needed that lead to a successful way of dealing with what I get faced with. I don't doubt she must have had good results with some of her patients in the past by using breathing/relaxation techniques, but this is something that is simply not for me. She has since seemed to have come around to the fact that it's not something suited to me, and has ceased trying to get me to accept it.

2) She was not especially aware of the phenomenon of ADD. For example, when I initially brought up to her my long-held suspicion that at least part of what I am having to cope with is ADD, she was skeptical on some rather flimsy grounds, I think. For instance, one of her first questions when I initiated discussion of ADD, and how I strongly suspected it might be impacting my life, was concerning how I did in school. When I told her I actually did quite well throughout my school years, she basically told me outright I couldn't possibly have ADD for that reason. She seemed to be of the opinion that all people with ADD have to have lousy grades as well as a history of disruptiveness in the classroom. That's never been the case for me during my early or later school years. I've learned enough about ADD that some of us are of the inattentive variety who didn't have problems with hyperactivity that resulted in causing disruptions in the classroom.

Now for the plus side:

1) Since my bringing up the issue of possible ADD with her in several sessions early on, she evidently has made an effort to expand her knowledge of the disorder. While she continues to express the opinion that most, if not all, of my problems dealing with stressful situations I'm confronted with is due to depression, she seems to be coming around to accepting that ADD might be playing a part as well.

2) She's not hesitant to disagree with me - and I'm not just talking about her skepticism about ADD playing a role in my life here. I actually like the fact that she is willing to make me argue my case when it comes to some ofthe conclusions I've come to hold. Her willingness to do this has made me examine many of my long-held beliefs about myself, and consider where I could be off track, or not. One thing I'm sure of is that it would do me no good at all to find myself with a therapist who would "yes" me no matter what I'm saying.

3) She has referred me to some good physicians. Before I began therapy, I'd been ignoring my physical health related issues out of fear, and in hope that they would just go away. She's referred me to an internist that I really like and have confidence in. She has also set me up with a good psychiatrist who is working with me to explore my options with medications that might help with ADD and depression.

So overall, I guess I'd have to say I found a pretty good therapist despite the fact that my choosing her was basically "a roll of the dice." While she's not "perfect," I'd definitely say I'm getting some positive results out of it.

I'd like to hear other people's assessments of the therapists you've seen in the past, or are currently seeing. What has been your experience - good, bad, or indifferent?

kilted_scotsman

10-03-08, 05:18 AM

I've seen a few.

To be frank the real step forward for me has been the diagnosis. The therapists before were just thrashing about in the dark and were prepared to just let me ramble on.

After finding out about ADD I was able to use the next therapist more effectively. He had little knowledge of Adult ADD and so was as interested as I was in finding out how it might affect my life.

I think that's what made the difference.

Before that no therapist had any "framework" on which to understand my symptomology.... and it seemed they were as confused as me about what was going on.

Much money down the drain
kilt

Dciv

10-03-08, 09:11 AM

EZGreen

10-03-08, 12:16 PM

i can related to some of this things you said about the techniques your therapist is suggested. like you, i find thinking, talking and analyzing to be natural and useful ways for me to analyze the challenges of life. and, like you, i have always been more comfortable with these approaches. but recently i have been focusing more on my physiological responses by consciously paying attention to how my whole body responds to stressful situations. women in our society are generally not encouraged to listen to and trust their bodies - we are taught that our bodily sensations are at best unreliable and at worst shameful. but i have found it very helpful in my struggle with anxiety and depression to focus on how physiological, emotional and mental responses work together.

the visualization stuff has never worked for me either, but i would encourage you to give some of the breathing techniques another try. scientific research has shown that breathing techniques can promote relaxation, lower blood pressure, decrease heart rate, and increase energy levels. focusing on my body and breathing during stressful situations can sometimes give me the perspective i need to identify and analyze my self-defeating tendencies in the moment - this gives me a greater sense of control over my reactions. sure, it may feel a little silly/wacky/new-age-y at first, but once you get the hang of these techniques, you can do them anywhere and no one will even notice. and, gaining a sense of control over the physiological responses of my body has been a very good thing for me.

but, like i said, this is just me and we are all different.
wishing you well,
EZ

Polly

10-09-08, 10:42 AM

I've seen a few.
Before that no therapist had any "framework" on which to understand my symptomology.... and it seemed they were as confused as me about what was going on.

Much money down the drain
kilt

I'd agree with that. I had been to several therapists and diagnosis ranged from post traumatic stress disorder to I was completely normal and the rest of the world is messed up.

I don't feel my therapist is really helping other than giving me someone to listen to pain I haven't really expressed before related to the ADHD. It's helping me open up about it but I do feel I need to be talking to someone more experienced in specializing in ADHD therapy but the waiting lists to get in are almost a year long.

For me, the hardest part is people thinking I'm doing the things I do on purpose, I'm not trying hard enough, or I can change by snapping my fingers. They don't realize just how hard I am trying already. I haven't really got much sympathy or support from people and learned to hide and be ashamed of my symptoms. It's hard to diagnose when you have to pry the symptoms out of your patient.

Writing it all down helps me identify what I want to work on in therapy. If I go in without doing this first, I'm all over the place.

Jacque

12-07-08, 11:11 PM

I'm really lucky that I have the therapist I do. My mom happened to pick her out of a phone book because I wasn't good at hiding my severe depression at the time. After only seeing her a handful of sessions, she was the one who suggested I get tested for ADD ("have you ever heard of executive function dysfunction?"). I thought she was full of #$%^. Oops.

I like her because:
-She forces me to figure out my own problems.
-She helps me when it's obvious I'm floundering.
-She gives me enough knowledge about her own life that I don't feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.
-She is kind...or at least is awesome at fronting like she is! LOL

I don't like her because:
-She forces me to figure out my own problems.
-She's expensive, and doesn't let her practice be ruled by insurance (i.e. she doesn't accept insurance)
-She's far for me.
-She's not a psychiatrist (though she recently referred me to a psychiatrist who is wonderful so far, this woman is very similar to her).

I've been seeing my "ologist" since 2002, though I stopped seeing her earlier this year and only went back recently because life circumstances brought on a depressive episode. I feel very lucky to have her in my arsenal, and I try not to worry what I'm going to do if/when I move away from this area. =T

I haven't seen tons of therapists, just her, and I've only seen two psychiatrists, and from those two I feel for people who haven't found a good fit yet. If I didn't get lucky on the first try, I wonder how things would've played out for me.