View Full Version : I've Learned


Garry
03-19-04, 05:24 AM
Maya Angelou

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Maya really is a marvel who has led quite an interesting and exciting life. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting."
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring everyday...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words.

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "! living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right
decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to beone.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Garry
03-19-04, 05:28 AM
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman."
He said, This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. And never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

Adam asked God,

"What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history......................

Garry
03-19-04, 05:48 AM
Poor Rabbit

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he
begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says...


(Are you ready for this?)


(Are you sure?)


(This is bad!)

(It's not even a Blonde Joke!)


(You know you could just click off and not read the punch line....)


(You can still delete it)


(You know you're gonna be sorry)


(Last chance)


(OK, here it is)


It says,


"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."

Nucking_Futs
03-19-04, 06:25 AM
lmao I so needed this today Thanks Garry I found no offense other's may we will wait and see. But, I honestly think we need a little more humor in our day's.

Big hug's and a pat on the back.

t-bird
03-19-04, 01:11 PM
Gary you just made my whole day, I am on my way to a boring day at work and now I have a smile on my face!:) Thanks!

Ian
03-19-04, 01:21 PM
This piece by Maya Angelou is a keeper!
Thanks Garry

Garry
03-19-04, 08:57 PM
my pleasure

Garry
03-19-04, 09:01 PM
I never made it to Idaho Britawn

Thats where Radar Oriely from mash came from

Idaho = potatoes to me as a Canadian

am I correct

Mary
03-20-04, 12:01 AM
Radar O'Reilly came from Ottumwa, Iowa...... I don't know about the actor though.

Garry.. thanks so much for the chuckles.

t-bird
03-20-04, 01:37 AM
That's funny, I lived in New Mexico for awhile and everyone called me "Idaho" and always asked me about potatoes! Where I live we only eat Washington potatoes, lol. Idaho potatoes are from Southern Idaho, I am closer to washington.:)

MRB
03-20-04, 01:43 AM
A small thump for the Adam's rib story, a big HAW for the hair/re spray, and a BIG HUG for the inspiring Maya Angelou :)