Firstly i'll make it clear that im not drug seeking or any **** like that, everyone who i've talked to has said that i'm drug seeking when really i am not. my life is in danger here, it

i posted here before sometime i dont know when it was ages ago but i still havent even seen a psychologist or psychiatrist whatever its called about anything because of everyone i know (parents and stuff) think it's me who has always failed at school and it's me who starts 10 things at once and barely finishes one of them, it's me who has no willpower to do homework, or even play a game, i just prefer to mess around on the computer which usually achieves nothing, it's me who has to wag school now to avoid having to hand in work i haven't started with weeks to do, i have to take huge doses of caffeine (like around and over 500mg a day) just so i can move in the morning after going to bed at 9 - or trying to.

when i think about this i've always been like this i talk about one thing then end up talking about everything else and people think im random which i am becuase i usually dont listen to anything anyone says to me, i aint hyperactive or violent, i cant even bring myself to defend myself at times its just nothing happens, but when i am violent i go way over the top and endup seriously hurting someone. also im really anxious all the ****ing time but i manage to hide it which probably isn't good. I feel happy enough but just never can focus even on some of the better things like motorbikes computers and stuff like that, i just can't it's like i dont like anything because my attention span sucks for everything, but i'd rather be on the computer than socializing so thats probbably bad.

why the hell is everyone around me thinking that add or adhd don't even exist and completely deny that i have it cause i want to do well at school and end up doing well in life but at this rate i'm crashing down, fast. the only reason i wasn't put on meds when i was a little kid was because a mate got really sick from taking ritalin which he was prescribed(like he puked up after having one and never ate, but had and still has symptoms consistant with add). alright back on point i wont get through the rest of school at this rate everyone thinks i'm stoned all the time which i'm not (I keep that to every few weekends, i need it to relax and it really helps occasionally), cause i never listen and always end up repeating **** twice and forgetting that i've already said it and i always ask for people to repeat **** if they expect a reply which involves a few words, or instructions to something somewhere . im just scared im gonna get in trouble somewhere cause i think i hang out with the wrong sorta people sometimes and when i do something it's always over the top. it's also affecting my job which i just do part time working at a bakery for abit of change each week, i'll end up doing one thing and end up starting to do 10 things and not finishing any of them, im just lucky ive got a cruisy boss which is good cause not all bosses are as nice as this one is and woulda got rid of me anyday, thats what i mean i'll get into trouble and i dont know how im writing all of this but yeah i'll endup with no job and be on the streets or something. i really want to try hard in school but i just cant even get the normal grade, lowest stream for absolutely everything for every yera in highschool and always get some of the lowest marks when i feel like i've tried. and in exams and **** half way through i'll start clicking that pen and go **** i've got 10 minutes left to complete this exam. Im starting to do better in maths since i've got a tutor for it but im still failing badly, and english i've not handed in over half my assignments and the ones i have handed in have been a rush job last minute whcih is how everything in my life works, last minute, late for everything, and just general stuff.

when i asked my mum to call this psychologist she asked me if i was 'going to do anything stupid' and claimed that she couldn't get through to her again (she's like one of the top psychologists where I am so if she says i've got ADD then mostlikely I do and would be referred to someone who can give me meds). (no i wasn't going to do anything 'stupid')

dont ask me how i wrote all this, its just i dunno what was in my mind at this time so it'll be random and hard to follow maybe, i cant be arsed reading it over so goodluck.

can't you make an appointment yourself?

I'm sorry you're having so much difficulty, and even sorrier that you're not getting the support you need from the adults in your life. It sounds to me like they need to wake up.

Have you tried talking to a school counselor? You need someone to advocate for you. If not a counselor maybe a coach or a teacher, or the parent of a friend? There's got to be someone out there who understands what a difference meds can make. Maybe the parent of a student whom you know has ADHD and is on meds?

I don't know the law, but it may be difficult to pursue this course without parental permission, so it would be best to find an adult that can help you make your case.

Anyway, good luck, and please keep us updated.

the only kid i know who took add meds is the one that got sick after taking them.

I've had one or two before and seen what they do, i think its pretty stupid if anyone thinks they turn me into a drone, they calm be down. I think my parents just need to hear a psychiatrists opinion about it which would help them.

I really don't know what i am to do, i have to wag school so i don't get in trouble for not handing stuff in, i hate wagging but i have to in order to avoid a punishment which wouldn't be as bad but is annoying.

i dunno what i'd say when i get caught, it'd be like i'm overwhelmed with crap and cant cope.

instead of doing an inclass thing on the computers i decided to mess around with the schools internet 'credit' system (usage is charged at 10c/mb and you get $50.00 a term) and well i just went right through and guessed the admin password for it, i managed to give me and lots of mates about 10,000$ credit on the system, i got caught. that day was a real bad day, i was really rude like calling out to a teacher which i dont hate, saying 'mr blah blah is a faggot' right outside his office and going ****.

hi there Johhny, i think im a little like you too, im not sure anyone believes my either, as i ve had problems with addictions, i think they assume, im just trying to get hold of more meds.
however like you my frustration at how i am, is leading to further problems.

i don't know the situation in Australia, im wondering if you have any mental health charities. they would be worth checkin out if you do.

in England, there is MIND and SANE these are impartial charities that give mental health advice/help, that way you don't have to worry about going through your parents to get an appointment, they often have telephone/email advice, which is all confidential. no parental consent involved,
well its just an idea which i hope may help.

all the best love whitestripesfan x:)

why do people say add people are creative? or is being creative being able to get your self outta deep **** by fabricating a bulletproof lie? or solving a problem using only the stuff around you (like fixing something?) cause if i open up photoshop i cant draw for ****, but i've got every other symtom of add.

hey don't stress about not being creative, everybody is different, i know people on this forum who are creative, and others that are more practical minded, but all have ADD so don't box yourself in, it really does nt mean anything,
best of luck on finding your way on th ADD road. love whitestripes :)

alright well thanks, it's just i've got parents which are ignorant to it due to someone we know getting sick from them. The psychologist i initially want to see is one of the best ones around and would only refer me to someone who can prescribe stuff if i really had adhd.

creative just means that you're good at creating new stuff, things with originality, or simply things that solve problems
don't worry if you don't feel that way :)
add people are supposedly more creative because their mind wanders about more and sometimes unusual thoughts pop into their heads etc.

oh **** i'm in the **** creek, while wagging most of a day as i had **** due and couldn't face the teachers i got txted to say that a mate who was in all of my last classes said that the teacher said that they know i've been skipping, oh ****. my parents won't understand as they're ignorant if they find out. i can trust this mate enough to not lie like this, but if i get caught i haven't actually thought of an excuse yet. this is quite addicting and thats the problem, it's a private school, the whole heaps of money thing, it's so dam easy to do it.