Okay, so as I've posted before, Adderall has completely turned me off to the idea of hard alcohol (I think it would actually make me sick), and if I drink at all now it's just a little bit of beer.

This has been great, but now I have a problem: tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my family is coming, and if I am not sucking down booze at an irresponsible and alarming rate, my family is going to know something is up. They do not have any idea about my ADD, so I can't just explain. And I'm sorry, but I can't stomach the idea of them thinking that I'm doing the "clean and sober" thing - it's just not who I am nor who I want to be. I can still inhale the vodka on my drug holidays.

So my question is - have any of you dealt with this? I would like to have a couple of beers over the course of the day, but they would even think that change is strange.

Any of you have good tricks? I can hide a beer upstairs with my pills and find an excuse to go up there a couple of times (I'll have to anyway to take the pills), I guess, but I need to have something in my hand throughout the day, and probably people are going to be around when I'm pouring the drink (the house is REALLY small).

FYI, I also consdidered just not taking the pills but I don't want to be fuzzy headed trying to make Thanksgiving dinner for seven.

Just have a drink by you all the time, but don't drink it down (or just a little).

If someone really presses you, you can say your taking an antibiotic or something and the doctor said to be moderate in your drinking.

As long as you are engaging other people and not being withdrawn, I don't think anyone will care all that much. Why be defensive about it?

I cut my drinking way back a year ago and had more fun in social situations and family gathering than before. Back then I drank partly to reduce any social anxiety. This was long before taking any ADD meds. Now I might have just one beer or a glass of wine at a gathering.

If caffeine potentates you Adderall, have a bit of coffee - you'll be as animated as any inebriated person there, except you won't pass out. :rolleyes:

Why drink so much, just to feel bad the next day? Bonding with people is more about listening to them and sharing with them - in terms of communication. I've found I can relate to people who have been drinking even better if I'm not drinking myself. Drinking to reduce social anxiety is counter-productive.

Whatever you do, have a good time. Try to get a good nights sleep the day before.

Honestly no offense but if your family ask and thinks what's up you should reply with "I don't feel like drinking, I'm trying to stay healthy." If they have something to say to that then I would just have to say ignore it the best you can. It's your personal business whether your have ADHD or not you shouldn't be obligated to tell anyone as long as it's not causing any real problems in your life but yeah seriously - there's no BAD excuse for not drinking. True Ethyl Alcohol can have some positive health benefits when drinking in moderation; however, people quickly cross the the line between what health experts would consider 'in moderation' quite a bit.

Thanks for the responses.

I do want to clarify that I'm not "defensive" about not drinking - I just am not that close to my family to want to share anything personal. When we get together we talk about science, politics, films, metaphysics, etc. which, quite frankly, is the way that I like it. When personal stuff comes up (at least, my personal stuff) I get uncomfortable.

So that is why I really want to appear as if I'm drinking, even though I, for the most part, won't be. Anything else would lead to questions I don't want to answer (even with a plausible lie). I was just really trying to figure out a good way to keep up appearances. I think keeping a drink by me is a good idea, and when I get a chance I'll carry it to the kitchen with me and dump some of it.

Anyway, thanks again. You both make excellent points; although I'm afraid I gave the impression that the issue is something other than what it is - which is me pretty much being willing to go to ridiculous lengths to avoid discussing anything even remotely personal with my family. Believe it or not I actually go through a list with my BF before every time we see my family of all the things about my life he's not allowed to bring up.

Wow! Now this is certainly a new one on me. I have seen many people sneak around to take a drink and keep it from the rest of the family or rather heard of it but I think this is the very first time I have heard of anyone sneaking around to NOT drink and keep it from the rest of the family. I think you have invented the opposite of an alcoholic (whatever the heck that is). ;) In all honesty though this could very well be a symptom of the ADD manifesting or at least something psychological that has been either brought on by the ADD or aggrivated by it. Their seems to be a type of personal insecurity about being accepted by your family at the root of this "keeping up appearances thing" and that likely gives them an incredible amount of power over your life. Hopefully none of them have noticed this power and if they do hopefully they won't abuse it or you. I am sorry I hope I am not making you feel uncomfortable, perhaps I am getting to personal (you did mention feeling uncomfortable about talking about personal things, I am not sure if you meant just with your family or with anyone in general).

What you have expressed though is likely something that affects your life in many more ways than maybe you know, it seems to me that the mere presence of your family causes you to respond as if they were exerting considerable controlling influence over your life. Typically peer pressure comes from outside of the family and perhaps there is that too but this sounds like peer pressure from within the family. Again I am sorry if I am being to personal. If I am making you uncomfortable in any of this just let me know and I will back off. I merely seemed to have an insight as I read your original post and thought I might be of some small assistance.

It is ok to feel discomfort, in fact it can be quite revealing if we follow it to the truth that is often hidden beneath it. The discomfort is only a feeling, it has no power over you. I suppose what I am saying is don't fear the discomfort because on the other side of it there is often great freedom and that is what you want. That is why you want to appear as if everything is always the way it has always been because there is freedom from the negative reactions that you believe that you might get if the truth were known. However it is a counterfiet freedom because there are still chains that bind you to only going so far with it, there are places that you cannot tread because to do so would reveal to much and spoil the illusion that nothing has changed. It sounds as if you are making great strides toward dealing with the problem of ADD in a very positive way, in so much that you are losing the need for the the substances with which you attempted to quieten the noise and fill the void with before. Don't allow anyone to cause you to feel as if you need to hide the signs of that progress.

Yes, perhaps there is a right time and place to reveal the changes that are taking place in you and far be it from me to attempt to push you forward into something that you are not ready for but the pregress will likely continue to happen, your life will become even more different (in a positive way) and as that happens you will begin to see the tremendous amount of energy that you will have to expend to keep up the facade. You will begin to hate hiding behind that facade, pretending to be someone that in reality you no longer are just to keep up appearances. In truth people grow, they mature, changes happen with or without ADD meds both for the good and the bad. There is a danger in this insecurity as well, that you may come to see, because of the pressure, the person that you are becoming as you get a handle on ADD as the facade and you may turn away from your treatment because of the pressure to be what people expect you to be and not who you truly are. Stimulant meds don't make a person with ADD a different person they just help give the wonderful person who was there all along beneath the static and the chaos the chance to actually come out and be free, to see the world differently and perhaps truly see it for the first time in some cases.

I have found that in the short amount of time since I have been on ADD meds I am constantly leaping to new plateaus of revelation, things dawning on me and falling into place in my understanding in ways that I simply could not figure out before. The first revelation was why I had been so tired and emotionally exhausted all of the time before I started meds. I had learned to deal with ADD the best that I could on my own for 43 years, what focus I had I had to force, I had to make my mind obey me whatever way I could and even at that I often failed. I had to force my body to get up and do the things that needed to be done and even at that I often failed. I had to force myself to do the things that I knew intelectually had to be done to cultivate good relationships and at that I often failed. Yet here I am, still standing none of it has destroyed me and this is one divorce later and into a second marriage with a very good woman. I still fail at some things and probably always will, but big deal. If I never came face to face with the discomfort then I would never have had the opportunity to succeed to be free. As a very wise man once said "by the grace of God I am what I am" I am very much a what you see is what you get kind of guy the bumps, bruises, misteps, mistakes, successess, failures, everything all make up a part of the whole, my story, it is not perfect and in some places it is not pretty but it is mine and no one can take it from me. Come to the place where you can look that discomfort in the eye and say this is who I am, love me or not but if not then it is your loss because I could have added something very good to your life. I am a unique individual, in all of the universe there is no one exactly like me, what I can give no one else can give in exactly the same way that I can, though others may give things that are similar the reproduction is not exact and that makes me unique. Do you have to always try to press me into your mold? Be careful, I am emerging and you may find that I shatter the mold that you have so carefully crafted for me. If I want to drink, then I will drink if not then I will not, this is freedom, when you no longer need to live up to anyone's expectations but only by the nature that resides within you.

Again I am sorry if I pryed in where I did not belong or if I caused you any discomfort, but think of how awesome the day will be when everyone looses their grip on you, and you can go before your family and anyone else carefree and not have to worry at all about what your boyfriend says in front of them or what he talks about, or what you talk about and suddenly if someone feels uncomfortable it will be because they are not used to someone being so utterly free and at peace around them while they are still struggling with expectations.

Am I perfect in this? No most certainly not but the freedom to not be perfect is all a part of the freedom. It's freakin' great when you learn how to sit down on the inside and realize that the world and everyone's satisfaction doesn't depend on you or what you do or don't do. Been there done that got the t-shirt from it (and the scars too). ;)

Charles