View Full Version : In deeep crap when the end of year reports arrive


Johnny123
11-28-08, 04:57 AM
This year i've ****ed up 10x more than any other year, seriously screwed up.
If i havent failed every class then i'm so close to a fail it doesn't matter.

I dont hand assignments in, i avoid and avoid and use excuse after excuse (thats why the parents didnt find out i was failing so bad) They think i've done well this year...eeeeep. I tel tehm what they want to hear. I dont think they're stupid but also the amount of days it will say i've missed will kinda be alarming to them.

I'm trying not to think of the day the report comes in the mail but it's getting hard for me, this isn't a public school, it's an expensive private one. everytime i think about it i get so anxious i just about cease to function properly (this happens quite alot). this time it wont just be failing, it'll be other things like how i speak my mind to teachers (It just slips out of my mouth, of course i've gotta hate the teacher but i dont mean to tell them to go f themselves).

this has been my worst year of school yet Instead of partially doing assignments, it's been experimenting with drugs to try and 'help myself' when it's just made the problem worse (it made it better at first). nobody believes i have it (add) because well my mum says 'if you had it you'd be compltely uncontrollable and running around breaking things all the time' she's right, i dont run around breaking stuff all the time. but i've always ****ed up at school and somewhat just scraped by (in the lowest level of every class) I've always been good at cheating the system, getting out of trouble, thinking of the perfect excuse to pull myself out of deep crap which usually works, when my mind has to work it's nice just goes snap on and i say the perfect (i call it a) 'sorry line' becuase i show remorse (most of the time i am) but i show remorse in such a way i get out of the trouble without even a detention or anything. ths year i've had no motivation to work, with teachers that check the work i just make it seem like i've worked (another reason i get no trouble). heres the thing i WANT to get somewhere in life, no really i do, I want to earn enough money to get by but i know if i keep going this way well i wont get anywhere further than the streets.

i'm dead tired i better go have a few drinks then have a sleep (where i'll wake up still tired).

ginniebean
11-28-08, 11:42 AM
Have you notified anyone at school that you think you have add without the hyperactivity?

Johnny123
11-28-08, 07:41 PM
well the school psychologist suggested i might have it and my mum is adament that i don't. I am already booked in to see another psychologist and will get their opinion (this one i'm gonna see is one of the best around).

I'm supposed to run around 24/7, and say f off every second word according to my mum. she would listen to a 'proper' (not from school) psychologist i think, i dont care if i get med's or not, i'd just like them to know why i've always struggled with school (and slipped through the cracks in the system), then maybe something to give me abit of help through school would be fine.

This stuff i'm currently taking 'edronax' the only effect i get from it is abit better ability to hold a straight face and look people in the eyes for abit longer than usual (normally, and especially in an office i've never been in before i'll look around the room, etc).

prtsimmons
11-28-08, 08:16 PM
First of all, I sympathize with you, Johnny123. 8 years after my diagnosis I still can't convince my Dad. It's not a big issue, because I'm an adult, but it does seem a little silly.

I think you are suffering from the same thing I did: you are pretty good at improvising, making excuses, and appearing 'normal' when you are actually off in another world. This happens to a lot of intelligent people with ADHD (and any other kind of disorder, disease, or addiction): you get so good at hiding the little problem that it is a big problem by the time it is discovered. If you weren't reasonably smart and creative, they would have caught on earlier, and it wouldn't be such a big issue. Ironic, huh?

One of my best friends was a stereotypical ADHD kid - telling off teachers, running around, always doing something other than listening to the teachers - and I used to wonder if I should act more like him, because people never questionned his ADHD.

I don't have any advice. Maybe you should e-mail your mum a few articles on Inattentive-type ADHD and point out that not all ADHDers are hyperactive discipline problems. Good luck.

Hey, I thought they called private schools "public schools" in Britain.

Johnny123
11-28-08, 09:17 PM
First of all, I sympathize with you, Johnny123. 8 years after my diagnosis I still can't convince my Dad. It's not a big issue, because I'm an adult, but it does seem a little silly.

I think you are suffering from the same thing I did: you are pretty good at improvising, making excuses, and appearing 'normal' when you are actually off in another world. This happens to a lot of intelligent people with ADHD (and any other kind of disorder, disease, or addiction): you get so good at hiding the little problem that it is a big problem by the time it is discovered. If you weren't reasonably smart and creative, they would have caught on earlier, and it wouldn't be such a big issue. Ironic, huh?

One of my best friends was a stereotypical ADHD kid - telling off teachers, running around, always doing something other than listening to the teachers - and I used to wonder if I should act more like him, because people never questionned his ADHD.

I don't have any advice. Maybe you should e-mail your mum a few articles on Inattentive-type ADHD and point out that not all ADHDers are hyperactive discipline problems. Good luck.

Hey, I thought they called private schools "public schools" in Britain.
I'm in australia.
Yeah improvising in situations where i'm screwed, the right words just come to my head and i execute the excuse in a bulletproof way. I've always made it seem like i'm listneing to people cause i sometimes catch onto what they're talking about, well it's quite obvious im not listening when i've got something to say and have to say it. i just zone out and try not to lose what i'm thinking of saying.

Michiko74
11-28-08, 11:36 PM
You certainly are in a very difficult situation. It really is too bad that your mom isn't supportive of you, because this is a time when you need it the most.

First and foremost, you need to be assessed by someone who is an expert in ADHD who can give you a proper diagnosis. The other part is getting access to ADHD treatment. I'm hoping that if you do need medication, than your mother won't stop you from getting the help you need.

Don't be scared. You aren't looking at an accurate assessment of what you're capable of doing. Right now you don't know what lies inside of you. There's too much chaos surrounding your world. But you need to stop trying to mask your pain. You cannot ever hope to get your life back unless you deal with the scary parts.

You have the strength to recover from this. I know you can do it.

Johnny123
11-29-08, 04:18 AM
You certainly are in a very difficult situation. It really is too bad that your mom isn't supportive of you, because this is a time when you need it the most.

First and foremost, you need to be assessed by someone who is an expert in ADHD who can give you a proper diagnosis. The other part is getting access to ADHD treatment. I'm hoping that if you do need medication, than your mother won't stop you from getting the help you need.

Don't be scared. You aren't looking at an accurate assessment of what you're capable of doing. Right now you don't know what lies inside of you. There's too much chaos surrounding your world. But you need to stop trying to mask your pain. You cannot ever hope to get your life back unless you deal with the scary parts.

You have the strength to recover from this. I know you can do it.

thanks for the words of support.
on the subject of masking the pain
I've had a cone today (couldn't resist, it'd been ages and i got nothing important on) and a shot of vodka (or two, or three or four) and a cigar (hahah not crap cheap cigar, a romeo y julieta number 2, cuban).
i walk in and my mums standing there and i stood there for a few seconds and waited till she moved.
I dont do this stuff often however, but it's freaking awesome when i do. Well i did kinda give my mate the money for a bottle of vokda (i have nowhere to store it as well, that nosey mum of mine goes through all my stuff daily(people call me paranoid but i've gone to great lengths, taking pictures of draws and comparing them at one time (before i go out/when i'm back)

When the report arrives they'll do the usual, call me lazy, freak out at the amount of days it'll say i've missed, and in general be angry and tell me they're wasting their money on me (im assuming all this becuase of whats happened before) and they'll be like 'why dont you just study?' 'why dont you just work?'

Driver
11-29-08, 10:15 AM
I'm willing to bet good money that your mother is inattentive ADD too so could easily be projecting her denial upon you. Couple that with the fact that alot of parents see their child having a mental disorder/illness as a failure on their parts as a parent, means its highly unlikely your mother is ever going to admit you've got ADD.

I suggest you consider your mother merely a boulder in the road and that you find away to go around her.

As you're an Aussie too: if you're over 14, you're allowed to see a doctor on your own, and if you're over 16, you're allowed to consent to medical treatment. So if you can, I suggest you circumvent your mother. Press your school for help.

As for your end of year reports: you can't change facts now, what's done is done. The results on those reports are your responsibility and you're going to have to wear it on the chin.

Johnny123
11-29-08, 09:44 PM
I'm willing to bet good money that your mother is inattentive ADD too so could easily be projecting her denial upon you. Couple that with the fact that alot of parents see their child having a mental disorder/illness as a failure on their parts as a parent, means its highly unlikely your mother is ever going to admit you've got ADD.

I suggest you consider your mother merely a boulder in the road and that you find away to go around her.

As you're an Aussie too: if you're over 14, you're allowed to see a doctor on your own, and if you're over 16, you're allowed to consent to medical treatment. So if you can, I suggest you circumvent your mother. Press your school for help.

As for your end of year reports: you can't change facts now, what's done is done. The results on those reports are your responsibility and you're going to have to wear it on the chin.


I think it's the other way round. I am an exact, no EXACT model of my dad. I get angry in the same way, I hold grudges the same (well not as bad but i can hold a grudge). My dad gets distracted easily as well. My mum did have depression and decided to treat it 'the natural way' but says she tried med's first and they didn't work out for her, the natural way dont work either as she's negative all the time.

She would listen to a doctor, however. I think my mum just think's add is running around breaking things all the time and completely uncontrollable 24/7. If a doctor says that med's will be good for me she'll go ok we'll try it.

WarPhalange
11-29-08, 10:41 PM
Ugh, my grades suck too. I'm applying to Graduate School right now and a lot of places want a minimum GPA of 3.00.... mine is a 2.93.... :(

Johnny123
11-29-08, 11:07 PM
Ugh, my grades suck too. I'm applying to Graduate School right now and a lot of places want a minimum GPA of 3.00.... mine is a 2.93.... :(

Well its not just the grades, it's the erm things i say and do (I'm rude to my teachers quite often).