I started taking Adderall shortly before I turned 16... it was like a miracle. It completely changed my life at the time--lifted my depression, allowed me to finally get a sense of motivation about school, all of that business. I stopped taking it for a little while, then started up again when I was 17-18, then stopped.

I started again this year, in September, and again... it was like a miracle. Boosting my mood, confidence, motivation, and of course helped me at work because I could better focus on what I needed to do.

I don't understand why, but the past month or so while I've been on Adderall, my depression has gone from bad to worse--and so has my anxiety. I'll take the Adderall, my previous miracle drug, and I'll be great! Super good mood, ready to take on the day, positive outlook. And then it seems after just one second--literally, by definition a second--I crash. These intense bouts of anxiety and depression come out of nowhere, and become physically debilitating. My knees give out, I collapse to the ground, sob and clutch my head, hold my breath, rocking back and forth, just wondering what the hell is the matter with me--feeling like there's no way I can survive another minute. I feel like the physical earth is crumbling around and on top of me, and there's nothing I can do but recognize that I'm going insane, and recognize in my mind that I have NO control. That there's no where to run anymore.

It's seemed these only happen now when I'm on Adderall. It's never been this way before. I've had attacks like that in the past more times than I can count... but, not 8 or 9 times in just a couple weeks. It's like I'll take my pill, everything is awesome, and then towards the end of the day (I guess it's "crashing"), I completely flip. Why now? Why after 3 years of taking it am I having this kind of depression? Is it completely unrelated, or is it somehow tied to it?

I feel like I can't handle another one of these bouts of depression and panic. I feel as though the next time it strikes, I'll completely lose it and be permanently stuck that way. I took Adderall today, like I normally would... sure enough, half an hour ago I almost lost it driving home. Sobbing and clutching the steering wheel, then collapsing to my knees outside of my sister's apartment complex in sub-freezing temperatures, praying it would just end... It doesn't matter how it ends, just to make it ****ing stop because I can't do it anymore.

Can anyone relate to any of this?

There's a lot to my story about what's happened the past month or so, but I don't think I can write it all out right now... I just need to know if this could possibly be related to the Adderall, because I can't do it.

is common for us with ADHD to also have anxiety disorder....this same thing happend to me with anxiety after Adderall....now I am on an SSRI (Lexapro) which has completely killed anxiety and also Adderall, although Adderall has lost some of its effectiviness it still works ok for me

go see a doc and ask about this, maybe also ask about Strattera or Vyvanse

You really need to talk to your doctor about this. Adderall is not generally used for depression, and not ever for panic attacks.

Does this always happen a few hours after taking your adderall, or sometimes a few moments after taking it? Are you taking Adderall XR, or IR? The reason I ask, is that this could be related to how much amphetamine is in your system. My dosage response is like this to adderall:
agitated -> anxiety -> focus -> more CNS stimulation w/focus

Meaning low levels will make me anxious possibly by the effect on the sympathetic nervous system, or by increasing activity in parts of the CNS without improving focus. Higher levels will then cause more focus and CNS stimulation which reduces any anxiety. But I'm not saying that you need to take more adderall!

It sounds like your underlying problem may be depression with anxiety. In that case, an SSRI might be a suitable option, but TBH, I think these are way overrated and can have horrible side effects. A better option for depression may be tianeptine which is actually an SSRE, and can also reduce anxiety. It is also stimulating for me in higher dosages, so helpful for ADHD symptoms. Unfortunately it is not used officially in the US, so one would have to import it. This is all hypothetical; I'm not in any way saying not to take your doctor's advice.

P.S. this post was written on 5 mg focalin 3 hrs ago.

As off topic as this may seem, try working our regularly and taking fish oil supplements. I notice I don't enjoy my Adderall as much if I'm not regularly working out.