View Full Version : Going to see shrink again need advice


Darkangel001
12-25-08, 11:17 PM
Hey guys, I really need help and I decided to do it now at near 3am, not doing any of my revision on Boxing Day- I hate putting posts up because I a)always procrastinate b)feel like I can't go in enough detail. But enough on that.

Basically I am a first year Medic now, and I realized last year whilst doing my A-Levels that it was more than very probable that I had ADD. I got to see a shrink- but for Bipolar disorder- seen then several times afterwards- told first time straight that there was no way I was bipolar- did not get on with my shrink- anyways we agreed( at least I thought we agreed) that if it's still doesn't get better after my exams then I ought to speak to my GP again. Next time I went to the GP, for some other ailment- she run with me through the letter informing her of last session with said shrink- in basic terms- she said that I had 'misdiagnosed' this and GP was like 'oh yeah, ur like all the annoying people we get who think they know better than doctors and that the internet knows everything'- needless that got me really annoyed and anyways- this was beg of this year before my exams in June, and now it the end of the same year and I got to see a shrink again after procrastinating for ages and finally going to the GP.

Session with this shrink I think was better- except despite the fact that I am sure he is a very nice man- I am also sure that he doesn't know that much about ADD- bear in mind that this is my very first 'proper' diagnosis- had CBT sessions with last shrink so I could deal with some issues surrounding my family life- but the actual symtoms and so forth were not 'covered'.

I was very anxious throughout the session- as I was before and kept on shaking in my usual anxiety striken stage- by the end of the whole thing I thought I was going to feel sick.

Anyways- yes I am really prone to anxiety, I was bullied mercillessly in school, have the social skills of a shrimp, and many isssues- but I don't think that affect my ADD at all- proof even more with my younger sister- after years of thinking she did not have any problem- I finally managed a breakthrough with her- she like me is very likely to be ADD innatentive type-

Basically I am screwed, unlike my sister all through my school career I have always been the good student, came top of my class often, despite all of this I was alienated because I was overtly chatty, argumentative, and bossy- not like that anymore but I was then. I never focused on anything except what interested and somehow I managed to literally get into med school by a reallly fine thread.

Bear in mind that despite my academic performance in high school, by the time I got to a 6th form, which was private and very different from my old school, no one there thought I'd make it- during career selection I'll give you an example: Are you sure you want to be a doctor- there are many other jobs out there, you're being unrealistic, your grade show that obviously you are not cut out for this( peed me off to no end- they had then only known me less than a year) and so on and so forth.

I was majorly depressed by then, and yes I always suffered from bad exam anxiety- but it was always because I was so bad at organizing myself. Anyhoo

My current problem is this:
To me its really obvious that I have blatant ADD- I have read a lot of literature- including Tom Brown's The Unfocused....
I am going to bring all of this with me- my mind has the tendency to just escape into the cloud, when I feel 'exposed'- last time I went I was at Uni, and literally opened my letter, and I was like ****, this is today, in about 40 minutes and ran, well got there driven by a good friend.

I am not going to deny I have issues, I have huge problems with trust, due to the bullying, my parents, and a lot of difficulty with senior figures.

My new doc, seems to think that I want to be 'labelled' his question: why do you want to be labelled so much???? How the hell do you answer that, do you not think you're just looking for a reason to always be late, procrastinate and be disorganized- same thing by the way my dear head of pastoral care told me last year- if it was not for some really good friends, I would never be where I am now.

The worst thing is this is really getting me down, I am starting to feel lazy and looking for excuses, despite knowing that this is how I have always been I have no proof of showing this- since I did not live in this country during my childhood.

At uni, I am having a hell of a time organizing myself- I have piles of notes, that I am now organizing, weeks worth of work that I just couldn't get myself started on- -caus it was a) so boring or b) I had to read into books that I just skimmed through as usual- I can barely concentrate during lecture- I am always tried and drowsy it could be because a) like now I have been staying up late to look at nothing online or b) because normal sleep period for me is 12hours+
I am doing so many thing, currently 3different sports and choir and any extra stuff by the medschool-m all my friends think I am crazy, that 'I should put my studies before anything else' but the impulse is so strong sometimes, and then impulse wise- I always use to think I was good with money- until I came to uni- I am spending so much and then I think how the hell did that happen? I spent about 30 worth of cash, on union events that I did not attend, because I double booked them with when I had to go home. The list goes on and on-

and yet I despite all of this, my psychiatrist is sceptic. You have to help me- I am not in London, but up north, in Staffordshire. So even though I am usually based in London, that's only when I come back home to see my parents. Meanwhile I don't know how they deal with adult add down there, they don't seem to have much of a clue- but at the same time, I don't know what else I could do- on top of this I also got sent by the uni for a dyslexia test and my exam- towards my first year are in january!!!!!! Please give me any suggestions caus I am at the end of my rink here- sorry for the uber-longer post

Darkangel001
12-26-08, 07:51 AM
Hey, sorry about this, I just realized now that it's no longer 3am, that maybe this post is a tad too long. This is why I never write posts, if I can help it. I was just wondering, what you guys thought, as in a) is my psychiatrist right- do I have more than an anxiety/depression(although I am definitely not depressed) problem more than anything? Also, I got referred to a Liaison Psychiatrist, I just realised at the North Staffordshire Hospital- does anyone else have any experience trying to get diagnosed there? My mind gets all muddled when I am in the doc's office, so basically I was wondering if also you might have any suggestions on how to tackled the usual- exam stress, anxiety, difficult family history route that always seem to go on.

Thank You

~boots~
12-26-08, 07:58 AM
so basically I was wondering if also you might have any suggestions on how to tackled the usual-I have no idea, but my thoughts are with you anyway. I hope your next appointment goes better

Imnapl
01-02-09, 12:03 AM
Darkangel001, why do you think you have the inattentive form of ADHD and not the combined type?

Darkangel001
01-02-09, 03:27 PM
Hey imnapl,

I thought that I might have the combined type, expecially as I experienced more of the hyperactive symptoms when I was younger- but I am more inattentive now, even though I still have a few hyperactive symptoms, it's not enough for it to be a 'combined' diagnosis. Then again, I could be misled as I have not seen any list for Adult ADD that also mentions the hyperactive symptoms- but in a more adult context.