How much do you think various ADD related things affect your kids?
We really lacked structure -I had lots of anxiety etc... but we had fun and I was (and still am) a great listener.

My daughter's only 23 months so it's hard to tell if she's ADD or not yet. The main challenges for me (and thus her, presumably) so far have been giving her consistency in routine, and staying focused on the same story book for the 257th time. :D But she's a happy, confident, self-regulating sort of kid, so I guess it's not harming her too much.

Who knows how it'll affect her later, though...aren't mothers supposed to do things like make sure their children have their homework done on time? And make sure that their gym kit is washed and present on the correct day? Perhaps I will be my child's undoing psychologically through indirectly and inadvertently making them do gym/PE in their vest and pants repeatedly (if schools still make kids do that).

You have ADD but your kids don't? Buy a lottery ticket! ADD is genetic and is rather freaky that you didn't pass on the gene to your kids. :) (Assuming of course your kids have been assessed for ADD and found NOT to have, and you're not just guessing they don't have it as you haven't perceived it)

That was the hardest for me, the consistency and routine. But of course I was pretty young then too, I mean I was clueless. I remember trying to literally stuff him into some kind of snowsuit thing, I couldn't figure out how it opened up, and this woman just looked and me and said, oh your first baby? lol - and the stuff like that gym bag! I mean you're the adult, supposed to be reminding the kid to bring his gym clothes or whatever and you only remember at the very last minute.

I have just one son, he's 18. although we are quite alike he is also very focused & logical. I could have done a lot of things better when he was little, but he's ok. in fact he's great.

I posted this because I saw several nephews at christmas, one family is really turbulent right now (nothing to do w/ ADD) and this seems to be affecting the little one (4 yrs) a lot. So I started wondering...

by the way my son hasn't been assessed and actually either have I but I've talked about it with my therapist here. I am very sure my father had ADD combined so that's where I got mine! (but I'm inattentive).

I'm ADD inattentive. My kids are 2 and 4 and they live stepping on toys, digging thru laundry baskets, late for school and daycare, missing library books and forms, eat at inconsistant times but the only thing that really upsets me is my irritability and stress that rubs off on them. The positives? We paint, make playdough, dance, play in the rain, laugh, explore new places in the car, make up stories....I am intuitive with their needs and listen carefully to their dreams and ideas and hurts. They are articulate, impulsive, disorganized, empathetic, sloppy, and very advanced intelligent little creatures. The guilt is overwhelming some days, and yet, some days the pride is big too. Who knows...I just know I'm doing my best. I'm going to start Concerta soon too, we'll see if it helps!

well that's pretty much how I feel too.
So here I am with an adult son, who has a disastrous room (but how can I make him clean it when you see the big stack of clothes and junk in mine...)
and, we baked christmas cookies together twice last week. I'm not complaining.
- you're in for lots of fun times!

I have one (the oldest) who is almost definitely ADHD like Mom, and one (the youngest) who is almost certainly not.

My youngest is super organized and tends to keep me in order. She lays out her clothes the night before. She prepared notes to give to family members for Thanksgiving and put them in a folder labeled with a post-it note that said "Thanksgiving letters inside". She remembers when she has a test and studies for it on her own. She reminds me on Tuesdays and Thursdays that I need to turn right instead of left at the the intersection to take the oldest to another school for band. She once made arrangements for her own babysitter when we went out of town without the kids for a few days. She is 7 years old.

I think it effects her to the extent that she feels the either the need or the ease of taking care of these things for herself. I worry that it is more need than ease, because, for example, she has expressed fears that I might get so lost while driving that I can never get us home again. (I do get lost easily...)

But I make sure she knows how much I love her and hopefully that will overcome whatever parenting failures I may have.

[quote=stef;680077]

I have just one son, he's 18. although we are quite alike he is also very focused & logical. I could have done a lot of things better when he was little, but he's ok. in fact he's great.

quote]
I too have one son (14) and I thank GOD everyday he does not have ADD. He's so mellow and like your son focused and logical...sometimes I wonder who the parent is....people tell me he's like an old soul in a young body..he's everything to me and I'm getting really stressed about him leaving me and going to college....I'll probably taking a lot more than Adderall and Wellbutrin when that happens..hell, I may end up in a mental ward:p

EXACTLY, an old soul in a young body, that is him!
who's the parent, ha. "mom I need train tickets" (for local transportation, the days he finishes class early) . usuallly I forget or they are in my wallet...etc etc
he's going to go to a local college next year (his choice, I did not say anything like please don't move out yet) so I don't have to worry about this for a while.

I'm ADD inattentive. My kids are 2 and 4 and they live stepping on toys, digging thru laundry baskets, late for school and daycare, missing library books and forms, eat at inconsistant times but the only thing that really upsets me is my irritability and stress that rubs off on them. The positives? We paint, make playdough, dance, play in the rain, laugh, explore new places in the car, make up stories....I am intuitive with their needs and listen carefully to their dreams and ideas and hurts. They are articulate, impulsive, disorganized, empathetic, sloppy, and very advanced intelligent little creatures. The guilt is overwhelming some days, and yet, some days the pride is big too. Who knows...I just know I'm doing my best. I'm going to start Concerta soon too, we'll see if it helps!


SarahBear that is my story exactly. I love my kids and have the nurturing thing somewhat down. I get mad at myself sometimes because I dont listen well enough to them. We are in a disaster at this house and I feel so frustrated. My kids do the same thing you described. At times I feel like a real failure, then I look at my kids and see how kind they are and I know something is going right. Like you I am doing my best.

Song

my 5 year old daughter did the funniest thing today.

I had to go on an errand and said that I would also pick up some fruit.

She went and got a blank sheet of paper and a pen and said "so you won`t lose your memories"

She also has ADHD symptoms....but obviously has noticed the way mummy needs to make lists or she will forget.

my 5 year old daughter did the funniest thing today.

I had to go on an errand and said that I would also pick up some fruit.

She went and got a blank sheet of paper and a pen and said "so you won`t lose your memories"

She also has ADHD symptoms....but obviously has noticed the way mummy needs to make lists or she will forget.


My kids do the same thing!!! They actually keep a list on the fridge and remind me to take the list when I go shopping! :)


Song

I am lucky enough to have non-ADD kids (my husband is level as level can be!)

I have ADD inattentive-type. They have had to get used to living with a much larger amount of chaos than I would prefer, and I'm afraid they sure aren't picking up any housekeeping skills from me. BUT - they also get lots of fun stuff - dancing and crafts and hey! let's go do this!!!

I do have to set alarms for myself and my husband has to help keep me on track in the mornings so I get them off on time. I also have to keep lists and reminders.... The kids just know that sometimes they have to bug me a few times if I'm hyperfocusing and they are good at that!

Meds help immensely also.