I've kinda been in denial since I've been diagnosed ( I was 20, I'm now 22) because I always told myself, "If I've made it this far without knowing I had it, I don't need to worry about having ADHD now." This has made it worse. When I was initially diagnosed, I went on Ritalin and only took one dose in the mornings before I went to class and I noticed a difference, but I dropped out of school to take a break and try to get my life together ( I'm a Hurricane Katrina Survivor from 2005 and I relocated immediately to a state and school I had never been to and never took a break) and thought I did not need meds if I wasn't in school. I've learned life only gets harder for an ADHDer no matter what you're doing. I've recently switched work responsibilities and have had a much harder time with my ADHD than I can ever remember having. I work mostly alone doing data entry work. This is horrible for my ADHD. I get so bored even though there is plenty of work to do and I just jump online and waste the majority of the day. Everything and anything stresses me, even to the point of tears occasionally. I feel like this is crossing over into affecting my health because I have irregular sleep patterns, I have become much lazier with food choices and activity and have put on some weight, and I feel like I am just not healthy or happy in general. I'm lucky to have a supportive BF (who makes me feel so happy and capable at times, but doesn't quite understand what I'm up against) and family, but I've realized lately it isn't enough and I need more help (I started googling and researching info and came across this forum). I feel like my whole life needs a change or jumpstart before I never establish a way to manage my ADHD and life and end up not achieving any of my goals. All these things stress me to the point of worsening my anxiety and I panic and become depressed about everything I feel like I am failing at. I have felt like I am auto-pilot sometimes and I am so scared I will miss out on so many things if I don't wake up and change my life. I have such wonderful goals and plans (including getting engaged and married within the next year) and I fear ruining or failing at these things so much. I want to be an awesome wife and mother eventually and I'm not an awesome person yet and I wanna find a way to become the person I've always wanted to be. I know I have so much potential and many talents and strengths, but I need to figure out how to use my gifts to the best of my ability. My goals include starting back to school for graphic design at a new school (smaller and more affordable and just as good) next fall, pursuing my art much more, becoming more organized and having better coping mechanisms for ADHD and anxiety/depression, getting married and starting to build a home. I just feel like I will not be able to accomplish these things without outside help. I am currently trying to get an appointment with a psychiatrist for meds and counseling and I am doing a lot of research on my own. I guess I just don't want to feel alone or maybe hear some advice and reassurance/encouragement. Thanks for reading. Sorry it's so long, but I feel much better having let it all out.

this was me 2 years ago! the counseling will help so much in itself (plus any meds or treatment).
Generally if you want to be an awesome wife & mother - well you're already an awesome person.
you'll feel so much better, you'll see!!!!

thanks stef! i'm trying.:)

Welcome to the forums and my guess is denial is huge amongst us.

On a side not, a huge block of text like that is really hard to read, if you just add in a few paragraph breaks (even when not technically necessary) it's easier to read all the way thru. :)

I am the same way hun! I am new here, and I was actually diagnosed with ADD when I was in middle school. Unfortunately, my parents never really pushed for treatment, and they kind of thought I was "making it all up." Of course, now they feel bad. It really has made my life a lot harder. I am currently in school and hoping to get into medical school after the completion of my bachelors, but I am very scared. My ADD has increased significantly over the years, and I have suffered greatly for my lack of treatment. My finances suffered, my family life suffered. I am also 22, so if you need someone to talk to, always feel free to PM me. =)

Thanks all! Sorry about that Ginniebean. I was having one of those moments of clarity and just hit post. LOL.

As an update, I was able to get an appointment to see a psychiatrist on January 15th, so I am very excited about getting my treatment off the ground.

I just read "Delivered From Distraction." There were a few suggestions that I felt I could try and see how they worked for me. I started taking a multivitamin and an omega-3 supplement and in the past three days I have actually felt a little better. I started a new painting (at my BF's urging) and even took a walk around the neighborhood!

I have been thinking about my life and my ADHD and trying to sort it all out and I think I have come to a point where I can say I am no longer in denial. I'm just ready to focus on changing my habits and outlook on life.

If you ladies have any suggestions or personal experiences you would like to share with me, don't hesitate to pm me. I don't have ANY close female friends nor do I know anyone else with ADHD. My only support is my BF and he's still learning about it. I would like to think that this forum could be a lot of help to me and I would be willing to support any of you.