This all started really back in April. You see, throughout my youth I developed a terrible eating disorder and ballooned to about 320 lbs. I was/am definitely addicted to food. Back in April, I had weight loss surgery with great success (so far) and have lost about 120 pounds (still going). Something funny started happening almost immediately after the surgery. I started moving. I don’t mean like exercise, but instead more like standing up and wandering around the office while I’m supposed to be sitting down working. Anyway, I had always had a very short attention span, but really- this was new and incredibly frustrating. My employees at work (I’m the team lead of a Help Desk) started calling me lazy and began talking about me behind my back. They felt as if I made them do all the work while I just wandered around the office all day, happily avoiding my job.

Now to be honest, I always avoided work. I always browse the internet while I’m supposed to be running reports or even doodle and draw pictures at my desk, but the employees never knew that- that wasn’t as obvious as walking around chatting up whoever looked like they weren’t busy.<O:p

So, I discussed it with my mom. I told her, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t sit still anymore.” And to my astonishment, she replied, “That’s because you have ADD.” I didn’t believe her- in my mind ADD wasn’t even a real disorder (I was raised by my father- forgive me for my narrow-mindedness, please.) And besides, ADD wouldn’t just randomly show up after losing weight, right? I never moved around like that before. But, when I pointed this out to my mother and 18 year old sister, they both disagreed. They said that I am always moving- kicking my legs when I sit in a chair, brushing my hand through my hair, tapping my fingers on a desk, switching radio stations in the middle of a song, switching TV channels non-stop. The only difference caused by losing weight was the fact that standing up and walking wasn’t nearly as hard as it had been before. <O:p

It took me a few months to digest this. I spoke with a few people about it, employees, my bosses, friends. Everyone had a different opinion. All employees agreed that I definitely had ADD. Some friends said I did, others said I didn’t. One boss said I did, the other said I didn’t (the one who said I didn’t lives a thousand miles away and never sees me. She said I suffered from 'genius' syndrom in that I am so smart that I have trouble focusing... she likes to butter people up.)

So I googled it and did some of my own research. I discovered some interesting things. There appears to be a correlation between dyslexia and ADD (I’m dyslexic.) And more importantly, when the websites I visited described the symptoms of ADD, they described me! I decided I needed to see a psychiatrist and get a professional opinion (I was trying hard to be objective and open minded). <O:p

So I told my dad. He laughed at me. When I said, “I’m going to be tested for ADD.” He said that there is no way on earth that I had ADD- look at how well I play chess (I am the queen of Chess). I began to describe to him the symptoms- impulsiveness (My father refers to this as ‘sociopathic’ – he thinks I’m a sociopath..), inability to finish what you start (I’ve always been an artist, but have never finished a drawing painting), short attention span and so on. And He laughed at me. He replied, “If you go see a psychiatrist, they are only going to mess with your head! They will make a fool out of you. You are an idiot for even considering it.” Well a fight ensued (normal) and stopped just as abruptly as neither he nor myself have the attention span to fight for very long and instead we discussed Christmas presents.<O:p

A few days ago, I was tested (my father’s ignorance never even for a moment changed my decision). As it turns out, I do have ADHD. I have told my mother and many other people, but I have not told my father. I don’t want to discuss it with him- really I don’t. But he will find out sooner or later. My family is known for their big mouths. My mom will tell someone and that person will tell my father. It’s inevitable. So, how do I approach it? Do I tell him? Do I wait until he discovers it on his own? I just don’t know.

Also just to clarify, even though my father is a narrow-minded old man, he and I still have a very close, loving relationship- I'm a daddy's girl for sure. I'm not worried that he would disown me or anything - he needs someone to play chess with too badly. I'm just worried it'll change the way he sees me in a negative way.

why would it change how he sees you?, ADD is not beeign stupid, its juste having trouble with your attention. Im also an artist and i study in drawing animation and i was grieving over the fact that i couldnt finish any painting or drawings, i just got sketches in my books, millions of sketches, yet nothing finished, its just impossible for me, yet im very talented....anyway im getting off subject here. When my parents learned i had ADD, it just raised their self esteem of me because i went trough all my life and went trough school without help or whatsoever and that prooves im an intelligent person , just very distracted, so im guessing its the same for you. I just think your father will understand and all it could do is help him to undestand his own child and that can only be a good thing for a father.

Even though he may seem a lil too ''frank'' trough what he tells you, mens will always be mens, but that doesnt change that your his daugther and no matter what your father shoulg love you unconditionally, you and him will just understand each other better, and even more important you will understand yourself better. A funny thing though, my parents always told me i was too smart to be understood and thats why i was different and rejected from others lol, turns out it aint true.

Probably a bigger "idiot" would REFUSE testing for ADD. LOL

If your mother and your sister have ADD, then the chances of you NOT having ADD are very small, as ADD is genetic. Based on the observations of yourself, your friends, family, and employees, I'm willing to bet the farm that you have ADD.

Frankly, you would be stupid NOT to get tested. ;)

As for the chess playing ability remark: ADD'ers hyperfocus on stuff they find interesting, and chess requires a lot of parallel and lateral thinking, so it's not surprising you're good at chess. Wanna game? ;)

He replied, “If you go see a psychiatrist, they are only going to mess with your head! They will make a fool out of you. You are an idiot for even considering it.”<o></o>

Your dad is an idiot. Tell him he can forget that nice retirement home in Florida. It's off to Kansas or Wyoming with him.

Also just to clarify, even though my father is a narrow-minded old man, he and I still have a very close, loving relationship- I'm a daddy's girl for sure. I'm not worried that he would disown me or anything - he needs someone to play chess with too badly. I'm just worried it'll change the way he sees me in a negative way.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean... my dad has ADD and so does my sister and so do I. My sister and I have been going to a psychiatrist since September. Him? Not at all. He wouldn't have anything to blame for his shortcomings if he got treated. :rolleyes: Totally ignoring the fact that he'd be able to accomplish a lot more... *sigh* but he's still my father and I can't just assault him with nunchucks like I could a police officer or nurse.

Funny thing my mum was dead set against my suggestions that I might have ADD. I think it was a misplaced sense of protectiveness- she didn't want me to think I had anything wrong with me. She didn't understand what I had found. It is very hard to lure people out of their comfort zone- but one could wish that one's nearest and dearest could make the effort.:rolleyes:

Having said all that be confident in your own judgement- nobody else will see the world from your point of view.

Funny thing my mum was dead set against my suggestions that I might have ADD. I think it was a misplaced sense of protectiveness- she didn't want me to think I had anything wrong with me. She didn't understand what I had found. It is very hard to lure people out of their comfort zone- but one could wish that one's nearest and dearest could make the effort.:rolleyes:

Having said all that be confident in your own judgement- nobody else will see the world from your point of view.

I think you hit the nail on the head. My father is very protective of all of his children and I think he is constantly worried that I'll be lured into a false diagnosis and medicated to the point of changing who I am. It all just stems from ignorance. He doesn't understand the disorder and really doesnt' care to. Basically, I can talk to him until he's blue in the face, but once his mind is made up, there's no changing it.

I'm just worried it'll change the way he sees me in a negative way.
This should take care if itself after you've been on treatment. After he sees that your personality is not changing and that you are being productive - able to complete projects - he will probably come around.

After all, who can argue with results? When he sees you being satisfied with being able to complete goals, he will be happy for you.

If on the off chance he still has criticism of treatment saying it is just a crutch or some such thing, you can blow it off by explaining that if it is just a crutch, it is a crutch that helps you do more than you could before. Again, there really can't be an argument with results.

In the end, you are his daughter and "daddy's girls" have an innate way of over coming their daddy's objections. Having a daddy's girl myself, I can't imagine being upset with her if she finds something that helps her achieve her goals even if I were to think it wouldn't work in the beginning.

Oh my gosh... are you in MY family??? hahaha...

Only difference is in my family, everyone thinks it's a "stupid" disorder (either you're stupid for believing you have it, or simply having it means you're stupid). I don't really have any supporters, except for my husband, thank God. He's the one I have to live with after all.

Even after going through my 'symptoms' with my mom and the fact that my cousin has been treated for it since childhood, my family just doesn't seem open to it at all. I even tried talking to my sister whom I just KNOW has it too, but she just blames everyone else for her issues.

Your dad probably feels that way because ADD is highly misunderstood by a lot of people (ADDers and non-ADDers alike) and there is huge stigma surrounding mental health issues of all types. I hear a LOT of people say things like "I forget my keys in the car sometimes" or "I always lose my wallet, does that mean I have ADD too?" or the worst "Everyone fits the criteria for ADD, docs just want to medicate everyone".

The way I like to try and explain it to people is this:
TRUE: Most people have issues with attention at some point in their lives... and yes, probably most will fit the criteria except for one key thing... how long they have experienced the defining "symptoms". Temporary attention disorders can be brought on my stress, depression from a family death, financial worries and anxiety. Just like the fact that just about everyone (if not everyone) will be affected by depression or will have a panic attack at SOME point in their lives. Usually this is circumstancial and temporary. Depression isn't supposed to be diagnosed until the patient has gotten "stuck" and can't seem to get out of it alone. Likewise, although it starts (I believe in our DNA) early on, ADD is much like being "stuck" in that "forgetful/panicky/get up and go/what was I doing again?" mental state for as long as they can remember. At least it is that way for me. I don't know any other way, but I recognize that how my brain works isn't "normal" or at least what is perceived as "normal" by society...

Nowadays, people (especially professionals) are warming up to the idea that it's not a "disorder" but rather a "difference of order" multi-tasking, creative thinking, and troubleshooting are usually big strengths for ADDers.

I haven't told anyone in my family that I'm trying Concerta, and to be honest I don't intend on telling anyone just because of what they'll say behind my back (my family also is known for their big mouths). Hopefully if it does come out, I will have some kind of "proof" that it's working for me...such as a clean house (instead of lengthy emails that go in circles)!! hahaha

In short, you're not an idiot for doing what you feel you need to try to do better and improve your life and personal work productivity. Wouldn't your dad think you were more of an "idiot" for fluttering around the office, gabbing with your employees and co-workers (which by the way "Sociopaths" aren't usually known for) and not doing what you need to do to inevitably keep your job and work better?

I really don't know if the concerta is working yet... I don't even remember what I'm writing about...

Hey- don't worry about long posts I bit them all- should check out my first one :soapbox:
Should not even be here right now- but revising for exams- but I could not resist.

I sympathise with a lot of what ppl have been saying about their parents' attitude towards their diagnosis/seeking diagnosis/ My own parents don't know- and to be frank I am sure that they would have reacted in the same way as a lot of ppl have experienced here- as a musiguided sense of protectiveness. Now that they finally managed to get me into medschool they would not be happy knowing that I went back again to seek one.

My parentsn are really narrow minded- they see any sort of LD as a 'stupid' illness- being different from the norm is not seen well in our culture-

As I am meant to be the 'smart one' my parents' problem would be in believing my younger sisters- also like me probably has it as well- as she is the one with the huge academic difficulties-

I understand completely where you are coming from on parents and protectiveness- my dad is extremely protective- to the point of blindeness sometimes- he can and is also very hurtful with his comments.

Since my sister and I have 'agreed' between ourselves of the ADD we most likely have- we sort of have taken in turns of thinking who out of both our parents we most likely got it from- we never can agree on whether it's our mom or dad- honestly our house is a total mad-house- as my littlest sister say-she wonders how she managed to be 'normal' after being the last of so many 'crazy ppl'- she's a teenager- she thinks everyone is crazy and abnormal-

You do wonder sometimes.