I was never fully diagnosed with ADD until about age 12, but I had some formal testing in 2nd grade. My parents never put me on any type of medication and my town wouldn't pay for special education services for me. My parents never pushed the issue and then sent me to a private school for high school. We then tried to put me on ritalin when I was 17 to see if it would "do" anything. It worked....for the first 2 weeks. Then we had to up the dosage and that worked for another 2 weeks. Then we decided that it wasn't really working since I had gone down to 87 pounds....I was originally 100 pounds. So, I've been off meds ever since...I'm 26, 27 in April. I made it through high school, graduated from college, got engaged, bought a house, and I'm in my second year at my job. I'm a classroom assistant in a program for high school students with Asperger's Syndrome.

Now I feel as though my life is really mundane. All of my friends that I made in high school have moved to different states, I only made one lasting friendship in college because everyone else thought I was weird, and sometimes I just feel really lonely. My fiancee trys to do a good job at dealing with me, but we are completely different when it comes to doing chores. He is a neat freak and doesn't understand how I can't "see" the things that need to be clean, or why is takes 3 days to do 3 loads of laundry. I'm really good at keeping up with bills and the finances, it's just the chores that I struggle with.

It just seems like there is no one around to completely understand who I really am.

I get anxious around new people and I don't really like talking to people because I feel that everything I say or my responses don't sound adult enough. In a crowd, I usually don't say anything unless spoken to directly because I sit, listen, and observe everything that is going one. Sometimes I wish that I cound just engage in a conversation, make people laugh, or something intelligent.

Do any of you feel this same way? Or am I really all alone in this??

Hello and welcome!

Believe me, you aren't alone and may have found a good first step towards not feeling so isolated. Every woman in this place has felt something similar to you I'll bet.

Keep poking around the threads and posting. The awkwardness you have experienced in social situations shouldn't be a factor here. We have all dealt with the whole social interaction thing in some way.

Unfortunately, ADD can really get in the way of developing friendships. There is no easy fix for that. The universal first step is to become willing. And don't tell yourself that you are somehow less because it's tougher for you. You aren't less. You're cautious. Nothing wrong with that.

Educate yourself about your ADD. That will go a long way in helping your fiance to understand the things that are a greater challenge for you. And it might help you to understand some of the things that you are feeling.

Hang in there. You found a place full of people just like you. You aren't alone.

If you and your fiance live together, then I suggest splitting the chores so he does the cleaning, you do finances; and split the other things between the two of you as your skills dictate.

Also accept that no-one can be expected to be all-in-all to you, that all your fiance has to do is accept you, not understand everything about you--makes for a boring married life if you could understand everything up front, heck I don't even understand everything about myself yet and I'm in my forties! Tolerance for foibles and love is about all that's reasonable to expect, and that goes both ways (why oh why can my husband not remember to take the dishes to the sink?) too.

everyone else thought I was weird, and sometimes I just feel really lonely.

can't "see" the things that need to be clean, or why is takes 3 days to do 3 loads of laundry.

It just seems like there is no one around to completely understand who I really am.

I get anxious around new people and I don't really like talking to people because I feel that everything I say or my responses don't sound adult enough. In a crowd, I usually don't say anything unless spoken to directly because I sit, listen, and observe everything that is going one. Sometimes I wish that I cound just engage in a conversation, make people laugh, or something intelligent.

Do any of you feel this same way? Or am I really all alone in this??

Hmm, all these sound like me. I have a hard time noticing things, especially around the house. I also have a hard time reading people's reactions and body language.

I struggle so much socially. I tried and failed, so I stopped trying for years. But I'm improving a lot socially. It's just that us ADDers have to go through trial and error, but the error is higher and the learning is slower than for non-ADDers. But we can improve. And you're not alone with your insecurities and weaknesses.

I hope to hear more about your progress and learnings...

Bryant

Wow, isn't it great to find some others who experience the same frustrations?! I think that the problem with chores is pretty common. Interestingly, I am more observant of the dirt/clutter in the homes of others than my own. I guess I'm just used to it. Every once in a while though I'm able to see my space with new eyes and realize how dirty the walls are or how dusty the baseboards. Recently I've stayed in a couple of spaces that were so clean and sparsely decorated and I enjoyed it so much that I decided that I wanted that for myself. I've often felt that I don't deserve much, but now I've convinced myself that I deserve a home that I can enjoy. This weekend I've "spring-cleaned" the kitchen and plan to do other rooms as I can. The kitchen was the absolute worst :-( and the room I'm most embarrassed about when I have company. This time however, I did it for me, not for them...

Funny, I've always been good at the finances, too. Although I've let things slip for the last year or so and now I've got to dig myself out a bit. It seems like it's all or nothing...

And I can absolutely relate to the social anxiety. Often my mind is a complete blank when I'm around a group of people and I have nothing at all to contribute. Eventually they figure out that I'm different (or so it sems to me) and I find myself left out more and more. I feel like a complete bore often.

In my comfort zone, I feel that I am creative and do have a sense of humour. I enjoy my own company and time with friends (more often one at a time). Being in a crowd however really hurts my confidence. And if I do speak up, there's a high chance that I'll be replaying that situation for the next few days, worrying about what they thought. Maybe it's a good thing that my memory is a little sub-par... ;-)

I was never fully diagnosed with ADD until about age 12, but I had some formal testing in 2nd grade. My parents never put me on any type of medication and my town wouldn't pay for special education services for me. My parents never pushed the issue and then sent me to a private school for high school. We then tried to put me on ritalin when I was 17 to see if it would "do" anything. It worked....for the first 2 weeks. Then we had to up the dosage and that worked for another 2 weeks. Then we decided that it wasn't really working since I had gone down to 87 pounds....I was originally 100 pounds. So, I've been off meds ever since...I'm 26, 27 in April. I made it through high school, graduated from college, got engaged, bought a house, and I'm in my second year at my job. I'm a classroom assistant in a program for high school students with Asperger's Syndrome.

Now I feel as though my life is really mundane. All of my friends that I made in high school have moved to different states, I only made one lasting friendship in college because everyone else thought I was weird, and sometimes I just feel really lonely. My fiancee trys to do a good job at dealing with me, but we are completely different when it comes to doing chores. He is a neat freak and doesn't understand how I can't "see" the things that need to be clean, or why is takes 3 days to do 3 loads of laundry. I'm really good at keeping up with bills and the finances, it's just the chores that I struggle with.

It just seems like there is no one around to completely understand who I really am.

I get anxious around new people and I don't really like talking to people because I feel that everything I say or my responses don't sound adult enough. In a crowd, I usually don't say anything unless spoken to directly because I sit, listen, and observe everything that is going one. Sometimes I wish that I cound just engage in a conversation, make people laugh, or something intelligent.

Do any of you feel this same way? Or am I really all alone in this??

I know how you feel too, because I am usually quite shy too and dont tend to like to talk to new people. Its nerve wrecking and esp if you dont know them and figuring out what to talk to them about. I have become a bit better since I am dealing with the public. I find if I am put in a new environment its hard for me to talk to new people. I am a friendly person and make people feel welcome I just wont start the conversation off first and feel scared of what to say if I try.

My fiancee trys to do a good job at dealing with me, but we are completely different when it comes to doing chores. He is a neat freak and doesn't understand how I can't "see" the things that need to be clean, or why is takes 3 days to do 3 loads of laundry. I'm really good at keeping up with bills and the finances, it's just the chores that I struggle with.

I know exactly how you feel. I am/or will be 27 in October. I have 3 boys, currently am in college, but can't seem to get things together. I was the last of three children, the only girl, and my brothers were in their 20s when I was born. My parents were born in the late 30s and early 40s...so when they told them that I was ADD- old term- they said she will cope, or learn to deal with it...which I did until I became an adult and realized that I was not the same.

I am very talkitive but don't like people, I am bubbly and funny but only to deal with the anexity, and I can't never seem to stay caught up on anything. IT takes me 12 hours to do school work that should only take 3. I have recently moved and that has started a rise in my ADHD. When I am at home I don't leave, it takes away my focus even to run to the store for five minutes...will take an hour to get back on track...I have for the first time this week began Methylin...but it only helps to not get overly angry, or frustrated. I still cant focus but it is only 10mg... I am thankful it has helped to control my frustration cause I feel like all I do is hollar at my boys, and this has almost stopped, however, I was prescribed to take it every 12 hours... but I seem to crash long before that so nothing gets done...either way. I have thought to ask my doctor if he will change me to adderall cause a family member takes it and it works for her...she is alot-alot like me. however, I do not feel right asking cause I know that doctors have addicts that ask for them and I feel as though I would look like one if I say "hey my neice takes this and I would like too." She says that hers is a timed release or something like that and that she does not crash...anyone have advice, comments?????

If your doctor would think that you are an addict for asking about adderall, then I think you need a new doctor. Just say that the meds that you are on aren't working with your focus, you've heard of Adderall and you would like to try it. Your doctor shouldn't think that you are a drug addict because you have a legit disorder. If he thinks otherwise, then you need to find a new doctor.

I was never fully diagnosed with ADD until about age 12, but I had some formal testing in 2nd grade. My parents never put me on any type of medication and my town wouldn't pay for special education services for me. My parents never pushed the issue and then sent me to a private school for high school. We then tried to put me on ritalin when I was 17 to see if it would "do" anything. It worked....for the first 2 weeks. Then we had to up the dosage and that worked for another 2 weeks. Then we decided that it wasn't really working since I had gone down to 87 pounds....I was originally 100 pounds. So, I've been off meds ever since...I'm 26, 27 in April. I made it through high school, graduated from college, got engaged, bought a house, and I'm in my second year at my job. I'm a classroom assistant in a program for high school students with Asperger's Syndrome.

Now I feel as though my life is really mundane. All of my friends that I made in high school have moved to different states, I only made one lasting friendship in college because everyone else thought I was weird, and sometimes I just feel really lonely. My fiancee trys to do a good job at dealing with me, but we are completely different when it comes to doing chores. He is a neat freak and doesn't understand how I can't "see" the things that need to be clean, or why is takes 3 days to do 3 loads of laundry. I'm really good at keeping up with bills and the finances, it's just the chores that I struggle with.

It just seems like there is no one around to completely understand who I really am.

I get anxious around new people and I don't really like talking to people because I feel that everything I say or my responses don't sound adult enough. In a crowd, I usually don't say anything unless spoken to directly because I sit, listen, and observe everything that is going one. Sometimes I wish that I cound just engage in a conversation, make people laugh, or something intelligent.

Do any of you feel this same way? Or am I really all alone in this??hello and welcome to the forums...Im Boston born and bred, NH is my home now....enjoy your stay neighbor