I was just diagnosed with ADD yesterday. After 48+ years of wondering.... "why am I different...for some reason I'm just not getting it like everybody else." I'm an under-achiever on so many levels yet inside I'm screaming with wonderful creative ideas, always depressed, frustrated, can't get anybody to understand me...and I'm so tired of being called "stupid, lazy, you aren't trying hard enough, your always gonna be a quitter and oh, my favorite...you can control the way you are, just stop being that way!" Are you kidding? This isn't a choice we all made to have this disorder, nobody that I know would ever ask for any of this. If I did have a choice, I would have chosen something else. Since I was a teen I was told by so many psy. doctors that I'm "just" depressed. I've been on almost all anti-depressants out there and all they did was make me gain 45lbs. and feel numb, but I was still depressed. I just read another message that mentioned Limbic ADD. I think thats what I have now, although, as a child I was definitely ADHD. But, I was raised in the 60's when ADD/ADHD wasn't even heard of. Everybody used to say that I had "ants in my pants and I was lazy". My doctor just started me on Concerta 18mg for two weeks and then 36mg for a week until I see him again. This is the first time I've ever been on these kinds of meds. I've only had anti-depressants, which suck. I'm really hoping this works, but I was hoping he would start me on Adderall. Does anyone know which one works best, especially with the weight gain. I don't want to gain anymore weight. My boyfriend doesn't even think I have any depression or an issue with ADD. He thinks people just label themselves that to have an excuse for inferior behavior or bad behavior. He just can't understand why I can't be a stronger more savvy women like he's used to dating. By the time he finishes with his lecture, I feel smaller than a midget ant. But he gets to walk away with a smile because he just gave me what I really need.......a good, stern talking to to snap me outta this. This is clearly another reason why I'm so angry. Any thoughts out there?

I was just diagnosed with ADD yesterday. After 48+ years of wondering.... "why am I different...for some reason I'm just not getting it like everybody else." I'm an under-achiever on so many levels yet inside I'm screaming with wonderful creative ideas, always depressed, frustrated, can't get anybody to understand me...and I'm so tired of being called "stupid, lazy, you aren't trying hard enough, your always gonna be a quitter and oh, my favorite...you can control the way you are, just stop being that way!" Are you kidding? This isn't a choice we all made to have this disorder, nobody that I know would ever ask for any of this. If I did have a choice, I would have chosen something else. Since I was a teen I was told by so many psy. doctors that I'm "just" depressed. I've been on almost all anti-depressants out there and all they did was make me gain 45lbs. and feel numb, but I was still depressed. I just read another message that mentioned Limbic ADD. I think thats what I have now, although, as a child I was definitely ADHD. But, I was raised in the 60's when ADD/ADHD wasn't even heard of. Everybody used to say that I had "ants in my pants and I was lazy". My doctor just started me on Concerta 18mg for two weeks and then 36mg for a week until I see him again. This is the first time I've ever been on these kinds of meds. I've only had anti-depressants, which suck. I'm really hoping this works, but I was hoping he would start me on Adderall. Does anyone know which one works best, especially with the weight gain. I don't want to gain anymore weight. My boyfriend doesn't even think I have any depression or an issue with ADD. He thinks people just label themselves that to have an excuse for inferior behavior or bad behavior. He just can't understand why I can't be a stronger more savvy women like he's used to dating. By the time he finishes with his lecture, I feel smaller than a midget ant. But he gets to walk away with a smile because he just gave me what I really need.......a good, stern talking to to snap me outta this. This is clearly another reason why I'm so angry. Any thoughts out there?


You will hear two sides - The first side is that ADD is a social construct and is designed to medicate people to feed the pharmaceutical industry witih money. The second side, which is why many of us are here, is that ADD is a disease and as such needs to be treated by medication. My thoughts on this is that I believe in the latter, but at the same time many events in our life can cause us to act in ways in which we think it is due to a certain chemical inbalance/abnormality. I guess my point is that medication does/can help, but you have to make sure your social life is in tact.

Does anyone know which one works best, especially with the weight gain. I don't want to gain anymore weight.

Typically, people lose weight on stimulant medications, but don't let that drive your choice of medication.

You will hear two sides - The first side is that ADD is a social construct and is designed to medicate people to feed the pharmaceutical industry witih money. The second side, which is why many of us are here, is that ADD is a disease and as such needs to be treated by medication. My thoughts on this is that I believe in the latter, but at the same time many events in our life can cause us to act in ways in which we think it is due to a certain chemical inbalance/abnormality. I guess my point is that medication does/can help, but you have to make sure your social life is in tact.

I agree wholeheartedly, especially with making sure your social life is intact.

Well I'm glad you're diagnosed. That was a huge step/confirmation for me. At least someone out there, a professional no less, agreed that I "couldn't help it". As far as meds go, I couldn't say. Vyvanse made me sick so I stopped taking it. I now have a perscription for Focalin that I have yet to turn in. I'll do that tomorrow but I'm doing my best to stop any kind of stimulants (meds, sugar, sweets, coffee, tea) at all. I'm convinced that the reason I was exhausted non-stop for so long was because I was beating the tar out of my adrenals. So when the meds told them to get moving, I'd focus for a little bit then crash and burn and be even worse. I've been working on brain control and diet as well and I've seen a huge improvement....

re: your boyfriend

I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but he sounds fantastically inconsiderate and narrowminded. You never need to stand for someone telling you that your ADD doesn't exist. I would break up with him.

I was just diagnosed with ADD yesterday. After 48+ years of wondering.... "why am I different...for some reason I'm just not getting it like everybody else."

I'm an under-achiever on so many levels yet inside I'm screaming with wonderful creative ideas, always depressed, frustrated, can't get anybody to understand me...and I'm so tired of being called "stupid, lazy, you aren't trying hard enough, your always gonna be a quitter and oh, my favorite...you can control the way you are, just stop being that way!" Are you kidding? This isn't a choice we all made to have this disorder, nobody that I know would ever ask for any of this. If I did have a choice, I would have chosen something else.

Since I was a teen I was told by so many psy. doctors that I'm "just" depressed. I've been on almost all anti-depressants out there and all they did was make me gain 45lbs. and feel numb, but I was still depressed. I just read another message that mentioned Limbic ADD. I think thats what I have now, although, as a child I was definitely ADHD. But, I was raised in the 60's when ADD/ADHD wasn't even heard of. Everybody used to say that I had "ants in my pants and I was lazy".

My doctor just started me on Concerta 18mg for two weeks and then 36mg for a week until I see him again. This is the first time I've ever been on these kinds of meds. I've only had anti-depressants, which suck. I'm really hoping this works, but I was hoping he would start me on Adderall. Does anyone know which one works best, especially with the weight gain. I don't want to gain anymore weight.
My boyfriend doesn't even think I have any depression or an issue with ADD. He thinks people just label themselves that to have an excuse for inferior behavior or bad behavior. He just can't understand why I can't be a stronger more savvy women like he's used to dating. By the time he finishes with his lecture, I feel smaller than a midget ant. But he gets to walk away with a smile because he just gave me what I really need.......a good, stern talking to to snap me outta this. This is clearly another reason why I'm so angry. Any thoughts out there?

There, I fixed it so I could read it.:D

I am also glad you got your diagnosis.

Personally, I take a different stand on ADD/HD than many others here.. or so it seems.;)

I do not see it as a disease, nor do I see it as a disorder.
It is the way my brain, and the brains of an unknown number of individuals on this earth, formed.
I see no reason why I have to be labeled as defective when the only reason I am labeled this way is because I do not fit in well with the social constructs of this modern society.

I have so many unique and positive qualities that do not fit well the the model of the 'normal' and 'well adjusted' citizen.
I find my traits quite useful in my daily life, but the way our societies operate, they do not care for my talents.

I am pushed to assimilate .... eh.. sorry... there was the box thing right here.. this soap box thing.. and I just had to climb up on it....:o

Blame it on the ADD/HD!;):p

Perhaps you may be an under-achiever on levels where you (and the rest of society) are trying to force yourself to fit in ways you cannot.
This does not mean you are a lost hope, and I don't really get a feeling that you feel that way about yourself.

Your boyfriend, may be a boy... but he ain't no friend.
The comments you attribute to him sound as if they go well beyond simple ignorance about you and how your mind works.
I would not want to stay in a relationship with someone who held those ideas and feelings about me. No matter how 'good' the other parts of the relationship were.
That's partly why I am divorced today and not interested in getting back together with my former wife.. although I do still love so much about her and respect/admire so many things that she does.

You not only need to find an understanding of your own self.. as well as an acceptance... you deserve to find people who will also try to understand you and accept you as you are.

Everyone has some trait I could probably describe as 'not normal', but the problem is, society has turned a blind eye to most other 'anti-social' behaviors that the so-called normal folks exhibit.

Intelligent, and wonderfully unique people like us... we're told to take a pill.:mad:

Welcome and I hope you don't get all bogged down by my diatribes!:o

It`s good that you are getting the help.....and perhaps what your boyfriend said helped you with that.........

BUT - I agree that your boyfriend sounds like he is being totally controlling and you deserve better than someone who makes you feel like a "midget"....

I was just diagnosed with ADD yesterday. After 48+ years of wondering.... "why am I different...for some reason I'm just not getting it like everybody else." I'm an under-achiever on so many levels yet inside I'm screaming with wonderful creative ideas, always depressed, frustrated, can't get anybody to understand me...and I'm so tired of being called "stupid, lazy, you aren't trying hard enough, your always gonna be a quitter and oh, my favorite...you can control the way you are, just stop being that way!" Are you kidding? This isn't a choice we all made to have this disorder, nobody that I know would ever ask for any of this. If I did have a choice, I would have chosen something else. Since I was a teen I was told by so many psy. doctors that I'm "just" depressed. I've been on almost all anti-depressants out there and all they did was make me gain 45lbs. and feel numb, but I was still depressed. I just read another message that mentioned Limbic ADD. I think thats what I have now, although, as a child I was definitely ADHD. But, I was raised in the 60's when ADD/ADHD wasn't even heard of. Everybody used to say that I had "ants in my pants and I was lazy". My doctor just started me on Concerta 18mg for two weeks and then 36mg for a week until I see him again. This is the first time I've ever been on these kinds of meds. I've only had anti-depressants, which suck. I'm really hoping this works, but I was hoping he would start me on Adderall. Does anyone know which one works best, especially with the weight gain. I don't want to gain anymore weight. My boyfriend doesn't even think I have any depression or an issue with ADD. He thinks people just label themselves that to have an excuse for inferior behavior or bad behavior. He just can't understand why I can't be a stronger more savvy women like he's used to dating. By the time he finishes with his lecture, I feel smaller than a midget ant. But he gets to walk away with a smile because he just gave me what I really need.......a good, stern talking to to snap me outta this. This is clearly another reason why I'm so angry. Any thoughts out there?

Great post. Don,t let anyone tell you what is or isn't wrong with you. In the end you have to decide for yourself which means of understanding allows you to progress. I'm about your age. For all my life I have had this subtle problem that I could not put my finger on. I knew I was very intelligent- but somhow I just kept screwing things up. My life was a maelstom of disorganisation and forgotten commitments. At the same time- I started out so idealistic in my 20s- with so many ideas about what I wanted to acheive but by the time I was 40 I was just numb- I almost didn't believe I was real. My emotional reactions were flat as hell, and I couldn't interact with anyone. I had put on a heap of weight and was on a downhill slide. I was difficult to be with and not a positive influence in the lives of my wife and kids. My daughter was also obviously dysfunctional. By chance I came on Daniel Amen's work and started reading. It was not long before I realised that both my daughter and I fit the description for ADHD very well indeed. It took me a long time to tell my then psychiatrist that he was not worth his fees and leave him, and strike out and find someone who was an authority in the field.

I'm glad I did. My life has been transformed for the better. My brain works again. I am chipping away at the chaos in my family life and I understand now that my isolation was of my own making - a sort of protective coocoon necessary after so many insults to my ego, given my innate tendancy to stuff things up.

There are other people who have said on this thread that you should not regard ADHD as a disorder. I am glad for them that they can live with it so well. I can't . It was wrecking my life- and as far as I am concerned understanding the concept of ADHD, having medication, and pursuing the fullest enquiry that I can into its effects on my life has only ben a huge positive in my life and in the lives of anyone who has to deal with me.

And yes the stimulants do help you to lose weight- but the anorexia wore off after about 6 weeks with me. I'm down 42 pounds now- approaching my target. The real thing that the stimulants did for me was stop me needing to comfort eat, and allow me to focus long enough to properly read up on the Zone Diet. I could never have done that, or put it into effect, without the extra help.