I have this habitual thing I do where, in a job situation, I tend to speak really, really overtly about **** all-- just throwing out lines of verbal spweage, or talking incessantly when there's really no need to, simply because, amid the company of my boss(es), silence feels (to me) like impending doom. If it's silent around someone I have limited familiarity with (sometimes even gd friends), I just find myself exiting consciousness or something and overcompensating with words-- end result being a lot of ****ing ridiculous conversations.

The issue is that I've really never thought myself to be incredibly socially inept, maybe streching so far as to say fairly adept(!)... but the newly adopted "not caring" attitude of allowing myself to BE my inattentive self means tuning out and becoming a social reject, which is counterprocuditve in itself as being my "inattnetivce" self leads to lessened productivity, social ackwardness, and again.. ****ing ridiculous conversations.

Relate?

I'm going through a similar phase at work now.
what I actually said to a colleague who I've known for over a year: "I can't remember your name. I keep wanting to call you Sarah, because your name is something like Sarah Jessica Parker". *sigh*

but if I act "totally normal" all the time, I feel like I'm just pretending to work in a real job, and I end up actually saying something even stranger at the end of the day, or to my boss, because I feel "phony" if I keep pretending to be not like that.

(now if anyone understands this, hmmm...)