View Full Version : Bipolar ADHD Anxiety PTSD Borderline Personality MEDS

02-13-09, 01:19 AM
hey everyone

my diagnoses do not necessarily conflict, it is one of those psychiatric situations that its hard to tell what i have or might not have, so many symptoms are present in all disorders and many medications work for more than one disorder and so on, im sure you all know the complexity of what im talking about....anyway, its either one, two, or all three, and possibly something like borderline personality and PTSD as well, its just hard to tell.

ok,this is the worst episode in a long time. im suffering pretty badly now, terrible mood swings, anxiety, lack of focus and selfworth, severly depressed, nervous, irritable, on the flipping side, driving erratically, bad memory, muscle tension resulting in pain, nearly all the annoying aspects of the above mentioned disorder(s). also my relationship to my family and girlfriend is intact and i have 2 friends, though im not social, but im beginning to be very asocial and pretty much being bipolar like. then other times im so euphoric and "powerful" that i get afraid of where it came from and ambivalent anxiety.

first of all my current pdoc thinks im a drug addict and said so. ive been on and off for therapy since i was 13 (which is why i have so many possible diagnoses regaurdless of common symptons ) and i went to her once when i was young. I told her (without knowing of the consquences) that I simply tried weed and mushrooms. She took it upon herself to also add i did LSD which never occured, which i think is like illegal...lying in a file? but i told her i dont anymore and im not an addict of any kind

The problem: she has stigmatized me as a drug addict, her words went something like former addict or addictive personality. my mood is so crazy right now that im rapid cycling and very uncomfrtably afraid and irritable. she asked what ive been on which includes depakote and seroquel (zombie dead plus history of liver, kidney, hp, diabetes in family so i cant take it), SSRIs did seem to have any effect on me, the MAOI and other antidepre/psych meds didnt work and ive heard ssris dont work for bipolar much anyway (paxil and zoloft i think) so i told her i didnt wantt those, because i didnt want to waste time doing the trial and error lab tests, i need some mood stabilization and immediate help

she then asked what worked. I then explained that dexedrine and clonazepam together worked to stabilize my mood, allow me to focus to complete tasks without fatigue, and eliminate my anxiety, while allowing me to be social and interactive. after which she laughed and said im not prescribing you narcotics when 5 years ago you where doing acid and thought you were reincarnated and had delusions/hallucations. i got upset and defended myself against her false judgment. meanwhile i hear its common to use for patients wtih bipolar and adhd to use dexedrine and klonopin to kill anxiety and further the mood stabilziation/impulsivity of adhd). i explained that there was no problem with me at all, but nothing

shes using my past adolescent honesty and spiritual beleifs as a tool against a form of treatment that really did help and ignored my plea for help after years of off and on going. im 25 and i am serious about resolving my issues, but she wont look passed it and is judging me. thats wrong, and i need her to change her mind. graduate school is very taxing and with 4 classes, i need to stay on top and be mentally healthy as well.

worst part is, all other pdocs are all booked and shes the only one that took me right away, i didnt wana go to the ER just in case, im worried about them saying "its ok, well go for a lil while and bring you back home", thast part of my paranoia but hey, some of you know when someone says lets take a walk, you better run the other way before he can say "why not". and the mobile crisis team would probably just hospitalize me.

so what should i do? she insists i use drugs, and i do not, and she insists on my addictive personality, shes very inconsistent and frankly i dont think shes very ethical. shes always giving out packets of samples. she gave me this new medicine because it supposedly releives manic depression, anxiety, and mood, but the warning says be careful of bipolar patients because it may cause mania, and you know what, after one day on it, i just think i might be manic or hypo cuz i ive been up for 19 hours and im not sleepy, im on bluelight wonndering if i am

FIRST DAY: i dont feel bad however. im now on 50mg of prestiq and klonopin.....i tried wellbutrin as an SNRI and it made me feel TERRIBLE. are there other alternatives? (remember please: NO mood stabilizers/antipsychotics because of renal and hepatoxicity.

FINAL PIECE: What NON-toxic medication can I use for my symptoms? can anyone tell me about SNRIs in regaurds to my symtpons, and any link/pdfs of scientific journal/case studies


02-16-09, 01:47 PM
Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. It does sound like your doctor is being pretty hard on you. Adolescent use of weed and mushrooms does not make one an "addict" in my book.

I cant tell you what meds might work for you. You really need a good doctor to tell you that, especially with your liver issues. Best advice is to try and find another doctor. Get on their list where you can come in if they have a cancellation.

Good luck.

02-16-09, 03:09 PM
If you have been up 19 hours straight w/no tiredness in sight, call you doctor now. That is not a normal med response. However, it is not an unusual response by someone with bipolar disorder.

Think about this from her perspective.

A new px walks in with a few different suspected diagnoses but what exactly isn't clear, a history of drug use, and complaining of mood lability. The patient also refuses mood stabilizers, doesn't want an antidepressant (understandably if many haven't worked), and instead wants two highly addictive medications - one goes up and the other goes down. To be honest, w/mood lability, speed is the last thing most docs would prescribe. It can precipitate mania. That's well documented. An antidepressant for many can accomplish the same thing as a benzo and it is much safer. So, given her info, she made decisions in your best interest even if they were not the decisions you wanted. Again, consider her perspective.

As for taking anticonvulsants and antipsychotics... you're family history means that you watch your blood test results, stay hydrated, eat a low car diet, take care of yourself physically. That's all. You are not your family tree. Blood work is done regularly to watch any early signs of problems and med changes are made accordingly. It's not a cop out on medication if that medication is necessary for you to function in life. Sorry, but really, don't get hung up on it.

ADD medication is something I only take when I am stable, not when cycling and not when hypo/manic. During those times, focus is on getting me back to stable and nothing else. Bipolar is a progressive illness. If you have it, then you need appropriate medication to slow or halt that progression. However, borderline personality disorder can look like bipolar. It's in your best interest to get those two sorted out.

Good luck. Give your pdoc a chance. Call back on your Pristiq reaction. After she gets to know you better and your mood issues are under control, she probably will consider the ancillary stuff like managing ADHD, too.

02-18-09, 01:24 AM
Ready for a surprise?

Pristiq is the first drug I've taken that I can honestly say it has a positive effect. very few side effects, very tolerable.

It is the first week and I haven't felt better than this in a while. I guess the SNRI was the trick, and I'm actually interested in trying SSRI's again, maybe my neurochemistry changed over the years of adolescence. But Then again, I've read about three scientific journal case studies that documented at least a 2 point lead in efficacy with SNRI's over SSRI's, so why mess with a good thing, especially if im already at the thereapeutic dosage and dont need titration.

The only issue I have is that it seems in 2007 Wyeth had problems with Pristiq and heart and liver issues with the FDA, but I can't find any followups. I called up Wyeth and they reported nothing. I spoke to a few toxicitiy. Some never heard of pristiq. id love to find this informatioin out, but at 50 mg how more toxic could it be than zoloft, paxil, prozac, or lexapro.

KFC that is how she took it, but were taklin about a 6 year difference between a 19 year old just out of high schooler experimenter versus a 25 year old grad student with a 4.0 and summa cum laude (i first saw her years ago and she dx'd me bipolar, but i stopped seeing her, shopped around for a few years and my last dx was different). I didnt want antipsychotics for toxicity and lack of emotion, i didnt want the MAOIs and tricyclics because of side effects and increased toxicity compared to SRI's, and benzo's which helped greatly are totally nontoxic, but i didnt mean stand alone. I guess what i was looking for was exactly what I got because its working very well.

However, I do want to continue with the .5mg of klonopin as on on needed basis, tomorrow is my next appt and i have a few left. I also want to start dexedrine again because my graduate work is making me extra anxious, though luckily this pristiq has already amazingly taken effect.

i would have never thought it would have been possible like this. i guess reading pays off

06-16-12, 11:46 PM
Long dead post but still wondering how all this turned out, or if anybody else has something similar. I've got the same things going on pretty much exactly. My anxiety and ADHD get totally ignored because I have bipolar, so I remain disabled, thanks drug enforcment agency and war on drugs for encouraging my psychiatrist to think I'm a drug addict for asking for help about these things. Really wish I could get this stuff sorted out. Really bummed about prospects in life now. :(

07-31-12, 08:33 AM
I am also annoyed my psych won't diagnose and treat me correctly!! So frustrating when you just want to be a normal person!