View Full Version : Lost teen

03-12-09, 08:41 AM
I am a young 16 year old, that is going through a regular teenage-drama love. Or as i thought. I was constantly hearing that this guy that i like (and he likes me), has ADD. But people talk at my age, so i thought they just made fun of him. Though, i did always think he was a bit...different. He asks personal questions, starts random topics, we have so many silent moments, and he is extremely quiet.

I researched about ADD, trying to find out whether he really did have it. And he does hold many ADD symptoms. He's an amazing, warm-hearted guy, but there's something weird about him that i can't seem to figure out. And there's no way i can just walk up to him and ask him, "hey, do you have ADD?" So... in any case, i shouldn't judge.

But, i'm still young...trying to figure out my own life, so i don't know if i'm strong enough to carry somebody else's life on my shoulders. I don't know what to do. Should i talk to him about this? Talk to his close friends? Test him?...I don't want to make him feel bad in any way. And if i should step out, i want to do it now, before it's too late.

Please do not ignore me, just because im young...i really am lost and i need help...

A young 16 year old, that found an almost-perfect guy (who might have ADD). How will his condition affect us? What can i do? Will i be able to handle all this?..

Thanks in advance.

03-12-09, 10:23 AM
Hi Lost! Welcome to the forums.

Remember that you're only 16.

What makes you think ADD is a bad things? We're actually pretty cool if I may say so myself!

03-12-09, 01:26 PM
Please do not ignore me, just because im young...i really am lost and i need help...

Welcome! (ahem! Engaging loving-fatherly-like voice as though you were one of my three daughters) You aren't lost! You are just in very unfamiliar territory. A not quite grown-up with brand new and full size emotions that mature adults struggle with and sometimes fail.

I met this girl once when I was helping to teach beginning guitar at night classes at the high school I had recently graduated from. I thought maybe she was 16 or 17. She was not a beginner and wanted to learn stuff that I was still working at myself (folk/fingerstyle). I said I would find a good instruction book that we could use and bring it to class and show her so she could purchase one too. She said, "Well, what if I don't want to buy the book?" My shy little self wanted to shrivel up into a speck of dust and fall into a crack in the floor! But I so admired her honesty! That really helped to break down the emotional walls we had between us and we became very good friends. It took me a while to learn how to be honest like that. I think that honesty is a major part of the reasons we are still together 33 years later (I was in deep trouble the moment I first saw her the week before!:o)

The culture, background, and environment the two of you have come from and are in my be similar or different. Differences will come up. When you are in an intimate relationship with another human being, honesty is the only way to get past them. Now is a good time to start.

"Hi, (his name), I like you. You are different. What makes you different?" Just be patient as you are able.

My student never did buy the book. She was 23 and I was 19. But I got her and her guitar! It sits next to my computer desk. And I still have ADD!

(We now return to our regularly scheduled nerdiness!)

03-27-09, 12:13 AM
welcome to the forums! I think you should wait and see if you like him, eliminate the ADD thing; its not whether he's differant or not, its if you like him. as you said he is a nice guy and if that is wat you like about him, cool. go for it. Remember, AD(H)D isn't bad. a lot of people in the forum have AD(H)D and I must say that about 98.9% of them are really sweet and nice, a few of them are even some of my friends from school and they agree! Get to know him first. Just knowing that he has ADD means way less than knowing that he is a kind, honest guy. Thanks, -Katie