I have important things I should be doing..... I try so hard to focus, I really do try my god damned hardest! The more I focus the sleepier I get, the sleepier I get the more irritable I get. My head hits the pillow, I have sweet dreams for several hours and I wake up... Another day has passed and the important things still aren't done, I attempt in vein to complete them again by splitting them into smaller parts.... The tiredness creeps in again and hours have passed. It's still not done, the great work I want to be done... too late it's slipped out of my reach, the chance and time have passed and the world has left me behind. Cruel reality of being Inattentive ADD, you are nearly passing through time with nothing to show for it....the hours turn into days, the days turn into years, until eventually you are exactly where you where before.

But wait! A day of concentration in the form of some rare burst of energy... but where did it come from? Why for one day does my mind work for no obvious reason at all... Didn't drink any caffeine, abstained from stimulants...didn't eat anything out of the ordinary...same old crap. My mind taunts with me to give me a glimmer of hope that I may be functional, if only I met some unforeseen conditions.

Mind racing thousands of ideas per minute, too many to think of.... What if vampires and zombies combined to form blood drinking undead. I wonder why don't they put glass lights on the front of cars anymore...the plastic ones fog up because the plastic breaks down from the sunlight. Better yet why do I know random facts and tidbits yet fail to recall vital information?

I can't find a single song I can listen to for more then a minute, I keep flipping through my play list to find that one song that I havn't yet gotten sick of... should I get another song? Will it end the same as every other song...unable to fill the void.

Where am I? The blackness of my mind.....yet it is an artistic canvas known as my imagination... here I am free to do anything I want without restrictions of time or space. But wait? Is this real or is the real world real? I don't know anymore.... I want my imagination to be real yet I have a connection to the outside world that draws me back. The people in my life want me to stay, but I want to go back to my own little world.

Where I'm going only time will tell... until then this is my story.

Xeon: Um, have you been peaking into my life? So much of that was way, way too close to home.

I totally am with you on the plastic headlight covers, but am really thankful that they got rid of steel bumpers -- even with the rubber on them they were awful. But oddly, not the vampire/zombie mash-up. Does nothing for me.

Anyway, this just confirms for me that it is an actual real condition that we have, rather than some random laziness and spaciness.

I know what your going through, and I feel for you.

I have important things I should be doing..... I try so hard to focus, I really do try my god damned hardest! The more I focus the sleepier I get, the sleepier I get the more irritable I get. My head hits the pillow, I have sweet dreams for several hours and I wake up... Another day has passed and the important things still aren't done, I attempt in vein to complete them again by splitting them into smaller parts.... The tiredness creeps in again and hours have passed. It's still not done, the great work I want to be done... too late it's slipped out of my reach, the chance and time have passed and the world has left me behind. Cruel reality of being Inattentive ADD, you are nearly passing through time with nothing to show for it....the hours turn into days, the days turn into years, until eventually you are exactly where you where before.

all of that post, especially THIS part is a perfect description of my life.

"....the hours turn into days, the days turn into years, until eventually you are exactly where you where before."
*sigh* so true for me.

Don't you just want to stay asleep? Damn, I wish I could still do that.
Mine merciless torturor, Insomnia, hath returned with weapons blazing.
I can totally understand the depression and anxiety. Hereditary, ugh. It's a mess.
Every ounce of potential that we were once given has been trapped in our minds. (Sorry, I really have no idea where all that weird poetry is coming from)
If you're like me (at least) half of you probably doesn't really want to get better(it seems so much safer), but I hope you figure it out and find something good.

This is totally me, except you were fast enough to type it out before these thoughts left you forever. I can't ever mange to do that. :o

While some of the details are different between us, you so eloquently capture the feeling that life is escaping you right before your eyes, and the helplessness and frustration from lack of an ability to do even the simplest of things to change it.

I know at this point this comment is gonna be redundant but yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Just wish those fleeting moments of focus would decide to stick around more often.

me?

is that you, me?

Wow, I didn't realize I was that good at explaining it. I might make a thread describing what it's like living with improperly/untreated Inattentive ADD next.

I would love to participate in such athread as you have suggested since i am currently untreated

kattsqueen

WOW please write the other thread & count me in too.

That really was a poignant description; I can relate to all of that ; the random facts but no vital information; I want to change my playlist but i keep forgetting; and then I think what is the POINT of having a playlist and even an ipod when I listen to so few songs anyway. (it was a lovely and thoughtful gift, I'm feeling mega-guilty about my green ipod nano these days).

I'm just realising now, how many projects i had and then abandoned. (freelance translation business, law through correspondence course, embroidery, learning Russian...) But it's good to understand this. It's not all negative perhaps -? Having projects, means interest in life. Acutally I've been very happy when I have a Project but haven't actually made the leap of purchasing something for it. (then i feel I have to go through with it and of course i don't! yikes).

Anyway thanks for your insight. This inattentive subforum is a very good place.

Yeah, thats me allright. To sigh or not to sigh, that is the question.