dommatt [guest] from livingwithadd.com
getting your children to cooperate. Posted 6-20-2002 02:50

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I have ADD. I am also the single parent of two children that have ADD. I don't seem to be able to manage enough time in the day for them and/or myself. Everyday is a battle with them. They never want to stick to the rules (they are 5 and 7 years old) They are always looking for a new angle or way to get out of doing there, extremely, small part of the household chores. They don't seem to value anything, not even the time that I spend with them. Lecturing and yelling at them have no effect. Punishing them and time outs have no effect. I am slipping quickly out of control and into depression and I don't like it. If you have any suggestions please email me.

EVERMIND from livingwithadd.com
WHY! Posted 8-3-2002 02:26

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WHY!
why yell or Punish
cooperate
ask what they wont to do
let them do stuff they would never be alowed to do BUT ONLY if they do the things u wont them to do
ferst few times it may not work but if he/her sees what happends if they dont do it
they will do it
but never act like u have wone then ;)

ciao*
EVERMIND

Michele [guest] from livingwithadd.com
I understand! Posted 10-10-2002 06:34

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I just posted that desprate "Help!" message. I totally understand what you're going through. I have an 8 year old with ADD and my husband has it too. I also have a child who is going through "the terrible twos". I don't have much in the way of suggestions but if you need to vent feel free to email me. Hope you can find a little peace today.
Michele

Pumpkins672003 [guest] from livingwithadd.com
ADHD and Medicine Posted 12-25-2002 21:47

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My 9yr old step-son can't take adderall without vomitting before or after-he has stopped eating breakfast on advice of the doc-He is perfectly fine when he is not on the med-at home, but can't seem to control himself or sit still at school if not on this med. This is all so frustating because I am the one who has to clean up his vomitt, I decided to try giving him a prize(little-gift) if he successfully takes the med without vomitting, it has been working, but he is struggling with taking this med-I really don't want to see him fail school-but why should he have to go through this nightmare?

Linky [guest] from Everyone.net email
educate yourself Posted 1-15-2003 20:58

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Hi there,

I truly understand what you're going through because my daughter (10) is ADD. However, judging from the bit you wrote, I get the impression that you need to educate yourself on exactly what ADD is and that you need to put systems in place that will help you deal not only with your ADD but also that of your kids. Yelling, screaming and punishing will NOT work. You need to figure out a reward system and let your ADD kids flourish within their means. Having ADD yourself, you should understand exactly where they are coming from and get professional help for the three of you.

Good luck and best wishes!

I can only echo what Tara has said. I am ADD as is two of my children... my youngest might be.. hard to tell just yet. ( Can't tell what is symptomatic and what is age appropriate. )

Best thing I can tell you... is that if your ADD is not "under control" or "managed" then you will not be able to help your kids.
I was the last one diagnosed and treated with meds and structure therepy.... before that.. our lives was a mess. Even with meds, I couldn't handle the kids.. the kids couldn't handle me.

Yelling and screaming do absolutely no good... they shut it out or it makes it worse. However, I've found that talking quietly with my kids... giving them choices and options works best. "Okay.. you want to paint on the walls... fine.. but clean your room first. You want to ride your bike now... okay fine.... but clean the paint off the walls first."

To most parents it would sound nuts... but it works for us.
Ky.. mom to a 12 , 10 and 5 yr old

YEAH!!! I'm not alone!!! This is such a nice feeling. My 7 year old daughter Ashleigh has been so trying in her short life thus far. Mentioning about the lack of valuing anything- well, she's willing to throw all her toys AWAY rather than to clean her room. It's weird, but she loves to clean the bathroom- but not her room. ::shruggs::

Anyway- she just doesn't do things that we ask to do unless it is something that she deems on her to do list. It drives me crazy. I yell, but I feel like I'm going to get laryngitis before it really makes any difference. I was just diagnosed with ADD myself & so I lose my temper pretty quickly. She's on Adderal now but I can't really see a change in behavior. She's still actively defiant, she still is very touchy... especially when it comes to her younger sister. I swear, those two drive me to my whits end!!! *mommy, Darrian said a bad word... Mommy, Ashleigh pushed me... mommy, Darrian called me a googly face, mommy... Ashleigh doesn't want to be my friend...." And on ... and on... and on.

Oh, I have asked folks... What the heck do I do??? How do I parent a child that doesn't care... doesn't feel that consequences are important & is willing to take whatever is given- as long as it doesn't fall into her to do list, things don't matter. Ashleigh was also diagnosed at 4 yrs old as having attachment disorder.

I just keep saying to myself....
I love my children
I love my children
I love my children

=)

Have a good day!
Janet

I'm new here and thought I'd response to this thread. My almost 10 year daugther was diagnosed with ADD a year ago. After years of thinking she was overly bright and overly interesting and overly herself.

We had a series of I.Q. and traditional ADHD testing done on her to get the diagnoses. It amazed us that she had a 140 IQ and wonder why the teacher's complain about her not getting boring work done. Anyway, I totally agree with TARA and I don't sweat the small stuff with her anymore and give her things she can accomplish or know the one thing she's hates having taken away...books! She was just downsized on med's 5mg Adderall and I didn't really give much this summer. She has been pretty good. I am recent widow and life is bizarre. PS my hubbie thought I had ADD too....probably do! warm regards...Karla

Mom of toddlers, I read your post and had to laugh because we tried that one on my son when he was younger. We told him if he didn't clean his room, we were going to throw all his toys away. Next thing we knew, he came into the living room and all his toys were in a trash bag!

He is 10 now, and we are in the process of having him tested for learning disabilities through his school and through a university an hour from here. He hasn't actually been diagnosed with ADD, but from all the reading we have done, we're pretty sure that's what he has.

It's been difficult because he's a very quiet child at school, and has never been noted as being a discipline problem. He just forgets his homework all the time. He has difficulty staying focused on the task at hand. He can't follow more than one direction at a time, and that's assuming he doesn't forget it walking from one room to the next.

I decided to join a group where I can get some idea of how to help him and what to expect.

Mary

Hi... Sister Rachel Agness here... how's everyone??? WELL I hope??? I'm new here, but wondered if anyone had heard about INDIGO children and World INDIGO day Jan. 29???? We have a wellness/health house in Broomfield Colorado, and have the founder of IDIGO BLUE CREATIONS comming to speak on it as well as give out tickets to the premier of INDIGO at the Broomfield AMC theater. Anyone heard??? Stay blessed and be well... SRA