I feel bad about not taking my adderal in the dosage prescribed by my doctor, I'm currently suspended from school and doing home school and stuck inside my home. I feel that the only time i can be focused enough to actually enjoy doing anything at home is when i insufflate 60mgs of adderallXR crushed, i feel motivated to do a light workout ( I actually want) to, instead of being a lazy slob for days on end. Also, I'm actually interested in playing video games, which are my only consolation and escape from being condemned in my home. And i pull better grades on my homeschool and finish it quicker, or atleast without having to exert such energy to motivate myself. When i take one 30mg adderall XR pill I hardly feel a change. I've left my difficult to contact physician a message asking for an increase in my prescription from 30mg daily to 40 mgs daily. I don't know if im hindering self discovery (which may lead to recovery) by taking my perscription in bigger doses but less frequently....
:confused:
By the way this is my first post hello community

Hello and welcome.

60mg insufflated? You're going to build a dependency really fast if you haven't already. You might even burn out your receptors like some amphetamine addicts do, which makes it impossible to lower your tolerance past a certain point.

Should you really be taking Adderall if you've been suspended from school? Maybe you should take an extended holiday, or switch to Ritalin (it can still be addictive, but not quite as much as Adderall).

Preciate' the advice :)
i'll try to lower my adderall usage then.
I feel like i've grown attached to it however; quickly as the day may pass, its wonderful not having my symptoms of ADD (Or masking them perhaps). I think of people who've impacted my life, and how often i fail to recognize their value, I recieve motivation and hope from these people to seek better relationships through out my life, which would most likely take myself being cured or seriously working at controlling my ADD. Normally i think about instant gratification and immidiate pleasures (Too often really).
Even on roughly 50~60 mgs of adderall i insufflated a short while ago (I'm going to do no more than 30 daily for atleast a month) i feel like i can't successfuly explain my actions and stuff on this post. Lol

__________________________________________________ ____________________________
Right now I'm not the one paying for my visits to the psychiatrist and I'm yet to be in charge of my decisions regarding my mental health so I'll have to wait roughly a year and 2/3rds to actually experiment with different drugs with the aid of my psychiatrist to find what may be the best choice for me. . .
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
Ohhh. and if that being the case with my receptors... i fear that they've been long since burned out. When i was younger i once took roughly 800 mgs of adderall and concerta, and on several instances i took well above 200 or even 300 mgs.

Carefull with the adderall, It is NOT reccomended for people with a drug use history.

It's not supposed to get you high, it's supposed to controll the ADD. You gotta be careful to know if you are crossing that line between controlling ADD and getting high.

thanks for the suggestions, I'll experiment. I suppose i'll take no adderall one day, and the next day orally take my prescription for 30 milligrams and notice any differences in my being.

however, i don't suspect there will be many significant differences due to me being home all day. Maybe a vacation from meds are the best idea.
I need to examine my actions and learn to enjoy myself around the house in other ways (besides taking Adderall and killing time by destroying in an FPS online due solely to my rapid heart beat and increased concentration. /random) Thx ^^
______________
I feel like I share everyone's failure when i do drugs i feel like something is wrong although I'm doing the things im -supposed- to be doing (Besides the drugs). Requiem for a Dream traumatized me lol. I'm trying to get my heavy drug user girlfriend (Weed every day and anything else that she can get her hadns on) to watch the movie and i'm hoping she just doesn't disregard it completely and continue with her completely societal and self destructive ways.

Hello and welcome to the forums!:)

You really need to be careful taking your meds.

Can you not talk to someone you trust about the situation?

I agree with the other posters that you need to slow down or you won't have any help with your ADD symptoms.

We're here for you. Please be careful. We care. Keep us posted.

I feel bad about not taking my adderal in the dosage prescribed by my doctor, I'm currently suspended from school and doing home school and stuck inside my home. I feel that the only time i can be focused enough to actually enjoy doing anything at home is when i insufflate 60mgs of adderallXR crushed, i feel motivated to do a light workout ( I actually want) to, instead of being a lazy slob for days on end. Also, I'm actually interested in playing video games, which are my only consolation and escape from being condemned in my home. And i pull better grades on my homeschool and finish it quicker, or atleast without having to exert such energy to motivate myself. When i take one 30mg adderall XR pill I hardly feel a change. I've left my difficult to contact physician a message asking for an increase in my prescription from 30mg daily to 40 mgs daily. I don't know if im hindering self discovery (which may lead to recovery) by taking my perscription in bigger doses but less frequently....
:confused:
By the way this is my first post hello community welcome to the forum....please call your doc and be honest....maybe adderall is not the med for you
keep us posted we care:)

welcome to the forum....please call your doc and be honest....

ummm..... no.....

hell no.....

Even though it might seem morally right to tell the whole truth about your adderall abuse, the cold hard truth is that if the doctor finds this out, you're screwed. You will be disallowed by ANY doctor from taking the most effective medications for ADHD.

Nobody's going to say, "Well, good job, kid. At least you were honest."

They're going to think "WARNING!! DRUG ABUSER ALERT!! BAN HIM FROM ALL ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES!!"

Then they'll stick you on an anti-depressant -- "because obviously if he's abusing drugs, he's really depressed, not adhd." The anti-depressant will KILL YOUR MOTIVATION EVEN MORE, as opposed to increasing it.



All you need to do is tell him you believe that your dosage is not working, and that you might need a higher dose.

No disrespect for you "do the right thing and tell the truth"ers, but the real world is messed up, and sometimes you can be TOO HONEST. Telling too much will get you in trouble -- in this case, be labelled as a drug abuser for the rest of your life.

You will never get pain killers for chronic pain OR SURGERY, nor you will ever get benzodiazepenes for anxiety OR PANIC ATTACKS, should these situations arise. Loose lips sink ships.

----------------------------------------------------

I know this from experience. Even the simple act of telling the doctor you're depressed can prevent you from getting effective treatment -- IRONY??

I have been seeing a pain doctor for chronic pain. I recently switched pain doctors because I started going to school in another city and needed to find one close by. The new pain clinic, in addition to all the normal records, needed a psychiatric evaluation from my psychiatrist that I am capable of using narcotic medication responsibly.

Well, at the time, I was kind of bummed out and depressed because my grades weren't going so well. Basically it was all negative, BUT I DID NOT MENTION DRUG ABUSE OR ANYTHING. When my psychiatrist wrote the psychological evaluation letter, he told them I was depressed, possibly suicidal (??????????), and was incapable of taking pain medication.

EVEN THOUGH I HAD BEEN TAKING MY MEDICATION RESPONSIBLY FOR 3 MONTHS PRIOR WITH NO PROBLEM!!

So, I was unable to get an appointment with EITHER pain doctor, and ran out of medication. Guess what happened?

OPIATE WITHDRAWAL..... fun stuff.

For no reason other than telling my doctor I was a little sad.

Fortunately, the issue has since been resolved, the doctor told them the evaluation was a mistake, and everything's fine and dandy.

But the lesson here is: DOCTORS CAN TAKE THINGS THE WRONG WAY. AND WHEN THEY DO, YOU GET SCREWED.

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As you can see, I LIKE TO TALK WITH BOLD LETTERS AND IN RED!!! ITS MUCH MORE FUN!! :) As stated in my signature...

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Either way, medication alone is not going to help you. You need a REAL psychologist, not one who just gives you a script and sends you out the door.

I'm trying to get my heavy drug user girlfriend (Weed every day and anything else that she can get her hadns on) to watch the movie and i'm hoping she just doesn't disregard it completely and continue with her completely societal and self destructive ways.
I can appreciate that you want your girlfriend to quit her self-destructive behaviors, but do you see the irony in what you're saying?
Darlin, you really need to take care of yourself, and the road you've been on isn't doing that. <O:p
<O:p
I know that people are urging you to be careful, and as much as I'd like to tell you the same thing, I know that there's no "being careful" with abusing your meds. That is not an answer to your problem, there's something bigger here going on that needs to be addressed in the way you're choosing to deal with the discomfort of your feelings. I'm not being judgemental - I've been to a similar place, and so I'm talking from first hand experience.<O:p
<O:p
Taking a higher prescribed dose orally isn't a bad thing if it's needed to address your adhd symptoms - but clearly you're hindering your "self-discovery and recovery", and therefore are self-sabatoging by abusing your medication.

The inability to delay gratification is a huge part of abuse. Again, been there done that, and you are admitting that this is something you think about often. (I'm figuring you're acting on it as well by abusing your meds.) Medication alone, even at the perfect dose won't fix everything. There's more to treating adhd than medication, and none of us will ever be "cured", but there is absolutely hope to manage our lives and relationships better if we're willing to do the work.

I think it's really good that you're questioning the choices you've been making, the next step is to find someone you can talk to about this, a counselor, psychologist, someone with a good understanding of adhd who can offer some guidance.

It sounds like the dose you've been prescribed isn't addressing your symptoms. You need to let your doctor know this, and let him know how it's not working. And then take them as directed, until you and your doctor are able to find the right dose/medication for you.


**I want to note that all of my doctors, dentists, etc. are fully aware of the details of my past substance abuse issues, and don't hesitate to suggest "addictive medications" if they feel they're the best choice to treat me for any situation, be it anxiety, pain, adhd, whatever. I know that there are situations that happen like Captain Obvious described, ( I'm sorry that happened with you, and am glad that it was resolved :)) But that is not always the case. Most doctor's I've had have been very trustworthy as far as me being able to be completely honest with them. In the long run it's only benefitted me. This is just my personal experience.

Dear Ad(h)Chris,

You should see feeling bad as a healthy response! Kudos to you for knowing deep down, that you are going against your (and your pdoc's) better judgement.

I strongly believe that if one interested in having a quality life, than it is imperative that they be totally honest with themselves & their doctor(s) so that an effective treatment plan can be implemented.

I understand that finding a trustworthy doctor can be a trial & error process in itself. Just remember, you are worth it. This is your life. You deserve honesty and proper care.

Even if you are abusing you perscribed medication, you are still entitled to quality care.

Best of luck, kara59

ok there's 2 kinds of addiction.

...one kind is bad.
like my meth addiction.
.........THAT addiction destroyed my life.


one is good.
like the balancing of my brain chemistry with adderrall.
.....this addiction IMPROVES the quality of my life.

so an easy way to tell if it's an addiction, or if it's a medicine you need is
how your life is going.

....for example:

diabetics are addicted to insulin.
....it actually improoves, and prolongs their life...and they NEED IT.

just like adderrall keeps me from blowing my head of from chemical imbalance.

.....understand?

I can appreciate that you want your girlfriend to quit her self-destructive behaviors, but do you see the irony in what you're saying?
Darlin, you really need to take care of yourself, and the road you've been on isn't doing that. <O:p
<O:p
I know that people are urging you to be careful, and as much as I'd like to tell you the same thing, I know that there's no "being careful" with abusing your meds. That is not an answer to your problem, there's something bigger here going on that needs to be addressed in the way you're choosing to deal with the discomfort of your feelings. I'm not being judgemental - I've been to a similar place, and so I'm talking from first hand experience.<O:p
<O:p
Taking a higher prescribed dose orally isn't a bad thing if it's needed to address your adhd symptoms - but clearly you're hindering your "self-discovery and recovery", and therefore are self-sabatoging by abusing your medication.

The inability to delay gratification is a huge part of abuse. Again, been there done that, and you are admitting that this is something you think about often. (I'm figuring you're acting on it as well by abusing your meds.) Medication alone, even at the perfect dose won't fix everything. There's more to treating adhd than medication, and none of us will ever be "cured", but there is absolutely hope to manage our lives and relationships better if we're willing to do the work.

I think it's really good that you're questioning the choices you've been making, the next step is to find someone you can talk to about this, a counselor, psychologist, someone with a good understanding of adhd who can offer some guidance.

It sounds like the dose you've been prescribed isn't addressing your symptoms. You need to let your doctor know this, and let him know how it's not working. And then take them as directed, until you and your doctor are able to find the right dose/medication for you.


**I want to note that all of my doctors, dentists, etc. are fully aware of the details of my past substance abuse issues, and don't hesitate to suggest "addictive medications" if they feel they're the best choice to treat me for any situation, be it anxiety, pain, adhd, whatever. I know that there are situations that happen like Captain Obvious described, ( I'm sorry that happened with you, and am glad that it was resolved :)) But that is not always the case. Most doctor's I've had have been very trustworthy as far as me being able to be completely honest with them. In the long run it's only benefitted me. This is just my personal experience. great post!!! Im a recovering alcoholic...15yrs sober...also Ive probabley snorted or swallowed or smoked anything .... my doc knows my history....no problem with getting my adhd meds...honesty is best...

i appreciate all you guys' posts so much :)
its been very insightful reading everyone's POVs . . .
I'll keep you guys posted if i do anything else stupid. .
Thanks:rolleyes:
all of your posts touched my heart; I've never received such a quantity of good advise and care over this dilemma.
Much better advise than /dextroverse/ could give me. lol
Ty, I'll try to keep these ideas, words, and phrases floating around in my head to influence my future actions
_______rum___________________________________
http://www.addforums.com/forums/image.php?u=21593&dateline=1238761455 (http://www.addforums.com/forums/member.php?u=21593) SuzzanneX (http://www.addforums.com/forums/member.php?u=21593) had a particularly different POV, though. o.0

i appreciate all you guys' posts so much :)
its been very insightful reading everyone's POVs . . .
I'll keep you guys posted if i do anything else stupid. .
Thanks:rolleyes:
all of your posts touched my heart; I've never received such a quantity of good advise and care over this dilemma.
Much better advise than /dextroverse/ could give me. lol
Ty, I'll try to keep these ideas, words, and phrases floating around in my head to influence my future actions

lol... you went to dextroverse with this?

So you're no stranger to the syrup, I assume?

No siree, I was once a dex guru, or in simpleton, DERANGED, lol.
The first time i dexed was for three days straight, day 1: 5 fl oz of delsym.
day 2: 5fl oz followed by a 3 fl oz bottle
day 3: repeat day 2
very warm experiences during the three days, i was friends with a couple of hippey lovey people at the time so it straight! heheh.
I don't do the dxm anymore though, the magic is 100% gone. dexing is much different than it was say maybe a little over or exactly a year ago. 2nd plat is alright but never really was my thing, 3rd plat would be better if i had a person with a warm personality to share my time with, Otherwise i 3rd plat and usually decide to go to fourth and completely lose my mind HEH.
I think i may have "burned my dxm receptors" OR SOMETHING (50 trip limit myth may be true in my case, who knows) because the stuff described in people's trips is far out compared to the mind **** and occasional auditorial hallucinations i recieve from it now a days. But about a year ago, i was on that same boat and maybe over. On my sigma trip my brother worried about me incessantly cause he would walk by my room at night and hear me having a conversation and asking questions to nothing, which was really a shadow figure who'd i'd ask about the changes that ensued me and why me and lots of introverted Mumbo jumbo.
I do particulary like the aspect of dxm when in public, or more particularly, at school. The few times i've done it, my ego isn't so restraining and lets me converse and make connections much better with aquaintances whom my fondness for (interest in) had never been outwardly revealed, a friendlier person results.
But yes thats me and my take of DxM.
Was great, not so much right now in my life, In the future there'll probably be another Dex phase when i get situated in a comfortable non-isolated environment.
As far as my adderall use, its curbed considerably.
This morning i took my 30mgs orally as prescribed. and i had some left over crushed from days prior which i insufflated, but it couldn't have been more than 10~15mgs and it was just to get rid of the temptation, Lol. Its nicer getting rid of the symptoms than just be flying on way too much addy. Its like finding the temperment between *spacey, i wish i could convey my warmth for people, unstable intense emotions* to *Quiet, thoughtfull, empathetic and inspired but soon to be nostalgic and gloomy Cris*
i know i typed way too much out but the typage of all this is a release, which i just figured out when i pondered why i was using so much time in this post/forum. lmao if anyone reads all of this i salute you :P

***Moderator Note: last post moved to own thread "Addiction vs. Rx Meds (rant (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=67043))"***

No siree, I was once a dex guru, or in simpleton, DERANGED, lol.
The first time i dexed was for three days straight, day 1: 5 fl oz of delsym.
day 2: 5fl oz followed by a 3 fl oz bottle
day 3: repeat day 2
very warm experiences during the three days, i was friends with a couple of hippey lovey people at the time so it straight! heheh.
I don't do the dxm anymore though, the magic is 100% gone. dexing is much different than it was say maybe a little over or exactly a year ago. 2nd plat is alright but never really was my thing, 3rd plat would be better if i had a person with a warm personality to share my time with, Otherwise i 3rd plat and usually decide to go to fourth and completely lose my mind HEH.
I think i may have "burned my dxm receptors" OR SOMETHING (50 trip limit myth may be true in my case, who knows) because the stuff described in people's trips is far out compared to the mind **** and occasional auditorial hallucinations i recieve from it now a days. But about a year ago, i was on that same boat and maybe over. On my sigma trip my brother worried about me incessantly cause he would walk by my room at night and hear me having a conversation and asking questions to nothing, which was really a shadow figure who'd i'd ask about the changes that ensued me and why me and lots of introverted Mumbo jumbo.
I do particulary like the aspect of dxm when in public, or more particularly, at school. The few times i've done it, my ego isn't so restraining and lets me converse and make connections much better with aquaintances whom my fondness for (interest in) had never been outwardly revealed, a friendlier person results.
But yes thats me and my take of DxM.
Was great, not so much right now in my life, In the future there'll probably be another Dex phase when i get situated in a comfortable non-isolated environment.
As far as my adderall use, its curbed considerably.
This morning i took my 30mgs orally as prescribed. and i had some left over crushed from days prior which i insufflated, but it couldn't have been more than 10~15mgs and it was just to get rid of the temptation, Lol. Its nicer getting rid of the symptoms than just be flying on way too much addy. Its like finding the temperment between *spacey, i wish i could convey my warmth for people, unstable intense emotions* to *Quiet, thoughtfull, empathetic and inspired but soon to be nostalgic and gloomy Cris*
i know i typed way too much out but the typage of all this is a release, which i just figured out when i pondered why i was using so much time in this post/forum. lmao if anyone reads all of this i salute you :P

Interesting about your DXM experience. I'm not exactly a stranger to this pharmaceutical treasure trove, either, I admit.

A couple things:

Being addicted to any non-prescription (or even prescription) med sucks in some fasion, some more than others, but I would say that the trend is that DXM addiction is relatively mild as far as how it can mess up your life -- although I'm sure that's not without exception. There are problably plenty of people out there whos' lives were ruined by DXM, but I'm just stating that it tends to be not as bad as, say, opiate or cocaine addiction.

I for one can admit that I'm somewhat dependant on DXM, although I would NOT say I'm addicted.

DEPENDANCY is when your body is dependant on a substance for normal function, and would go through some sort of withdrawal -- ranging from mild to extreme -- if suddenly deprived of it.

ADDICTION is dependancy AND OUT OF CONTROL USAGE.

TRUE alchoholism -- as opposed to someone who just drinks a lot -- IS an addiction, because the victim CANNOT STOP ON HIS/HER OWN.

However, responsible usage of Adderall, for example, is NOT addiction. Even though you WILL go through withdrawal if youstop suddenly, in most cases the medication usage is under the conscious control of the user, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE DEPENDANT ON IT.

Get it?

Next point, on the subject of DXM, it has a few interesting qualities that you're no doubt aware of, but one that you're probably not... ;)

As you've probably noticed, it helps a LOT with social anxiety. The cool thing about DXM, as opposed to alchohol -- which also makes one more social -- is that, at least for me, it has a tendency to help you with social anxiety even when you're NOT on it. The mannerisms you learn, and the feeling of beeing "cool under pressure" seem to be permanent after a while, and you can act the exact same way WITHOUT the DXM.

This is in contrast to alchohol, where you are completely dependant on the drink to make you act socially confident. In other words, "I'm only socially 'cool' when I drink."



You probably learned this when it still had its "magic."

As for getting the "magic" back, I can PM you how I've been successful to some degree in re-sensitizing myself to it, if you're interested.



And finally, one last point... While I am not directly encouraging misuse of cough syrup, if you ARE going to do it just be safe.

If you've never done it, I definitely discourage from starting, cause it can lead to lots of unnecessary weirdness in your life.

But for you, Ad(h?)dChris, you're experienced enough with it that you can probably do this without harming yourself... And it can actually help you.

Why?

DXM actually has the ability to PREVENT neurotoxicity from prolonged and/or high dose amphetamine use. Yes, it actually makes Adderall abuse and addiction SAFER! :confused::confused::confused:

How so? Well, to simplify, amphetamine misuse damages the NMDA receptors. DXM is an NMDA receptor blocker. Block those receptors, block the damage.

This can be done with dosages as low as 90 mg. That's all you need. You don't need to go to a 3rd plateau trip for this to work.

AGAIN, I'M NOT ENCOURAGING MISUSE OF EITHER COUGH SYRUP OR ADDERALL. But if you're gonna do it anyway, at least now you know how to be safer with it. :cool::cool::cool:

However, responsible usage of Adderall, for example, is NOT addiction. Even though you WILL go through withdrawal if youstop suddenly, in most cases the medication usage is under the conscious control of the user, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE DEPENDANT ON IT.

Get it?

That's debatable. Addiction has been used as medical term for a long time, it doesn't have to have anything to do with abuse. You can still be physically addicted to something even if you can stop whenever you want and there's no abuse.

In USA they started to use 'dependence' instead of addiction in cases where there's no abuse. In most of the rest of the world 'addiction' is used for abuse and non-abuse cases.

With this stuff we're getting into what our personal perceptions of what a word does or does not mean. It varies from region to region and person to person. Focusing on what the person actually meant instead of nitpicking a word they used is good. (not saying anyone is nitpicking in this case though)

Everyone is urging honesty with your doc. I agree. However, I spoke with my doctor today and did just that...and she treated me like I had the plague, kept repeating that she could no longer prescribe Adderall for me (even though I said at least 3 times in plain English that I did not want to ever take Adderall again), and she basically just told me "good luck" even though I specifially asked her for her help...ANY kind of help. Hell, even sounding like she cared a LITTLE bit about me would have been more help. Watch out...