View Full Version : How to tell someone you like that you have ADD


Dianag54
04-02-09, 03:48 PM
Hi everyone,

I'm very new to this, and I have never been part of a forum community - so I don't know if I am doing this right. I actually posted the same note somewhere else, but I was hoping to get more exposure and if anyone had any suggestions on how to solve my problem, they'd respond to this posting.

I have had a recent issue that I am struggling a lot with internally and have been searching on google, asking my parents, friends, etc...on how to solve it and nothing seems to be working. I have found nothing on google that can help me in my situation.

I have been diagnosed with ADD and other learning disabilities since I was 5 years old, I also take ritalin for school, and I am now in college studying business.

There's this guy that I knew since high school, I always thought he was very cute but we didn't really talk much at all (he's a grade higher than me). One day we met up again and we decided to go a coffee. We have gone out a few times since then, and I really am starting to like him. And so far, it seems like he likes me too. He's really bright, and you can tell his thought processing speed is very fast form the way he speaks and the wit that he has.

While this makes me very happy and is one of many things that I like about him, it intimidates me as well because i feel a little insecure that maybe he won't understand me if I tell him that I have ADD. I want to tell him, but I don't know what he knows about ADD (he might think negatively about it, or may have read some stuff about it that was untrue, etc...)

I'm guessing I'll wait a couple of months and see how it goes first. But....how can I bring it up? I'm really afraid of being misunderstood. I'm a very hard worker and a good person, and I'm afraid that if I tell him I have ADD he will only see me as a label and not want to talk to me anymore. Maybe I'm overthinking and making this more complicated than it needs to be, but I have burned before with this issue with someone else I had liked.

I told this other guy last year that I had ADD, he told his folks at home...and even though they had met me the year b4 and treated me great (b4 they knew I had ADD)...his parents totally talked and treated me like a 2nd class citizen. It was very hurtful and as you can imagine...we weren't together for very long at all after that....so much disrespect I'm telling you!

Anyways, I see a real potential with this new guy and I really like him. This might sound werid, but can someone help me come up with a way of explaining to someone that you have ADD, without that BS happening again?

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.

D

Michiko74
04-06-09, 10:01 AM
In my opinion, I'd only share the information if the relationship was a serious one.

I think if you enjoy spending time together, why not just leave it at that?
It sounds like you're just getting to know each other. But pay attention; the information you find out now will help you to answer the question of should I tell him.

As you date this guy, watch his reactions towards other people. If this guy is sensitive, decent and worth his weight in salt... than he probably won't be turned off by someone who is 'flawed' in some way, be it physically or not. He should also be sensitive enough not to blab this info to any random person, be it his family members or some person on the street.

However if he is a guy that seems to scoff at people who shuffle, speak a little slower, and doesn't seem to be comfortable around 'disabled' folks.. then you have your answer.

Just because you're dating someone, that doesn't mean you have to leave yourself open to be burned. While it's important to be honest with someone, you're also entitled to have some privacy about your life as well.