View Full Version : Intro from an SCT-Aspie


vapno
04-03-09, 01:32 AM
There's not much of an online community of folks who share my combo of ADD-PI/SCT and Asperger's, from what I can tell. Let me tell you, they're a diabolical team!

Here's a brief, incoherent description of my experience. I had major problems with my sluggishness throughout my schooling. I was DX'ed (ADD w/ OCD) and started on Ritalin and Prozac in 3rd grade. Neither of these helped significantly and I was switched to dextroamphetamine by junior high. This had an awful effect of shutting me down, especially socially, via what I now know as 'hyperfocus'. Given no effective remedy, I decided to give up treatment of my ADD and pretty much dismiss it for the next several years.

Once I was freshly diagnosed with Asperger's by 10th grade, I attempted to rely on that for explaining much of my difficulties. It certainly left no gaps as far as getting essential accomodations during high school and my 6 years of college. I will say though that I had to develop my own coping mechanisms at college in order to complete each writing task, however minor. It was pretty much a new struggle at each turn with unbelievably inordinate amounts of time spent on papers my cohorts pumped out the night before. I had similar problems outside of school, as I worked briefly within summer breaks. (I wouldn't dare risk having to schedule my laborious compositions around work.) I was always noticably slower at doing my job, often getting backed up to the point of panic. Still, that was nothing compared to the endless panic of college homework.

I chose, out of interest rather than ability, choose to major in public affairs. It's not like I had any college options based on my abilities. The stereotypical math/tech route that the vast majority of Aspies was way outside of my range. (I was later DX'ed with a math disorder.) My field of study got me outside of West Virginia and into an environment in which I was at least somewhat intellectually secure. I was able to exploit my good analytical skills and nerdy interest in gov't to shine in some instances. And, I did very well, graduating at the top of my major.

I carried that standard of performance over to graduate school, although it was somewhat less demanding intellectually. I majored in politics, paying more mind to my interest rather than what would be later necessary social ability. Towards the end, it gave me my first real semi-professional job experience, interning in DC for a major environmental NPO. That however was only a few months, and soon after I graduated and left DC for good.

Since then I have been unemployed for almost 2 years. I have lived in two states during that time and belabored the rehab services for job placement in both. No one knows what to do with someone at the white-collar level who is both socially inept and unable to sustain writing. I see no options myself, as I certainly cannot see myself lying my way into short-changing an employer with a 'knot on a log' (5th grade teacher quote). It has become an all-consuming life crisis as my savings are nearly exhausted and my parents tire of my mooching.

My unemployment has given me time to reevaluate my ADD DX'ed and embrace it again. Reading about SCT has really helped me wrap my mind around my non-autistic problems and better explain them to others. I decided to share my experience on here to show how my disability cocktail has delivered me to a nearly inexplicably difficult point.

firstdesserts
04-03-09, 03:33 PM
Welcome to the Forum. I wish there was something I could write to help. I'm in much the same situation (at the end of my rope but toward the end of my life). But I do understand what you wrote and what you are going through.

I do know, though, you will find help and support from others here. At this point I can only offer understanding.