With ADHD and Bipolar there are times, and I do not know why, the manic depression gets to much for me. What I have learned from my support group is that venting my problems helps me alot..Well dealing with the things I have been through...like the intence PTSD I have is for one, not the easiest thing in the world.


I feel I can only share my problems with the group, who are wonderful women I might add and also the forums, who are also wonderful and supportive people;).

I am greatful that at least vent here without being judged. Other people, on the other hand, it seems once they get to know me and I have days of depression and my ADHD is going loopy they just want to get away from me. They tell me to shut up, just drop it, criticize me for what I am talking about, and just treat me like I am a basket case.

I usually don't care what people think of me, cause they don't know what it is like to be me, but It bothers me that these are people that I loved and love the most, My own Family, Boyfriends, Close friends.

They either get tired of hearing me complain or can not handle the things I am going through and then they talk as if there is something wrong with me...I have heard comments from mostly men that I loved:

1) "If I knew you were Bipolar I would have never dated you in the first place."
2) "What is it with you? You act like you are addicted to depression and just want to feed on sympathy from others so someone would feel sorry for you."
3) "I can not see you anymore..after 5 years I just cannot handle your problems."
4) "Would you shut up about the miscarriage already...I swear you are just doing this for attention...it's been 3 weeks already!"

These are only the most cold hearted Phrases that have hurt me the most from men I loved and who's opinion mattered to me..It's like once I get close to a man...I just push them away cause of the way I am. Or they just have to stay around to take advantage of my vunerablility and wanting to be accepted, to get exactly what they want, but once the bipolar and depression gets to much for them to handle they JUST NEED to get away from me. If all I do is push them away I am better off alone.

Even in my own family, at least my wonderful mother is the only one that tries to understand me...I never open up to my sister until lately...and still she does not seam to understand and thinks that I am dumb at times.

I feel like my brain and my heart is my enemy, and I wish to God, I could understand WHY I do the things that I do...I really don't understand my brain chemistry and frankly do not have a clue where to start any sort of research.

On the other hand, I also feel that the people who are close to me judge me only do so because of own insecurities and they can not handle it...but in doing so they are hurting me and making me have the feelings that there is something wrong with me. Why should I change for them just to make them happy? I am not on this earth to please them...I actually do not know yet what I am here for but I know it is not for them.:mad:

Is it tough love? Maybe, but these people should know to an already insecure woman, it will more damage than good. They want to critcize me for being a cry-baby and nag at me that I am doing anything at all to improve my life.....I am so sorry that is not support..they say they care about me...BULL****!!!!!:mad: I do not think they know the meaning of the word CARE.

Good Lord, I am only human just like them...only difference is I have a heart!!!!!! Not only do I get these reactions from people on the outside world in society who are not in my life but also the people that are close. It's Not fair...I should be treated with the same respect as they want from them....when they want to talk about their problems, I listen and I do not judge.

Sorry for the long post...I hope like the rest of them, I have not drove you crazy!

Melly I would answer this with logic and ideas of my own but reading through it in detail, you seem to me to have an already very clear understanding of exactly what is going on...

...sadly, there is no immediately obvious answer to the question, "how does one solve your problem".

It sounds to me like you want one of two things: A person who will be close to you and not mind the fact that you are bipolar (understanding and accepting the reality of it), or an existing person who is close to you growing and changing to an understanding and accepting person.

How does one arrange this? I don't know. I have similar problems I believe, so let me know if you find the way.

In the meantime, I am happy to be part of one of the groups that DOES support you and accept you for who you are.

Yeah, Mellydoot, we love and accept ya for the you you are!

Hugs...and when you find the meaning of life and stuff...let me know. :p

Melly I have a friend who is bi-polar and extreamly intelegent and a royal pain in the but, at times, but as you say he is not on this earth to please me. I Love him for who he is no matter what and the same goes for you also.

I myself have found that by choosing my friends carfully it has been a lot less painfull for me as I now choose to associate with people of my own kind . ADDers

we are here for you when ever you want to rant , rave, babble or just plain talk .

Originally posted by waywardclam


It sounds to me like you want one of two things: A person who will be close to you and not mind the fact that you are bipolar (understanding and accepting the reality of it), or an existing person who is close to you growing and changing to an understanding and accepting person.



Actually....I do not want someone in my life who is that iggnorant to judge.....So if not family...Let that person go cause they are not worth it...So Will say really...BOTH...I need someone who does not mind that I am bipolar and accepts me...and

I also want my family, to learn to accept me for my faults and impulsiveness....Friends and Lovers come and go...Take them all away...my family is all that I have.

Thanks Jaimedoot, will let u know when I figure it out...I may even go to confession Saturday and talk to a Preist..Hugs to ya!

Thanks Garry, I am glad at least I can be accepted here...this is the only world that I am comfortable with....the real world can go fly a kite in a lighting storm for all I care...Like I said..I do not care what people think of me....but I am so sick of dealing with it...and I shouldn't have to.

In honest to goodness reality..NO ONE should have to deal with it.

huggss mel
i know how hard this is for you. i think you know what you need.... like you said you need to find someone who is accepting of your ADHD and bipolar. i think perhaps your family needs a little educating about ADHD and bipolar so they can be more accepting of you and all your special gifts ;)

That why I think Mom is most understanding....she is ADHD too but Not Bipolar...though she may not understand bipolar she has faith that if I can get right meds for bipolar then I will be a little better...so she puts up with it...sometimes she wants to smack me...but then remembers there are times I can not help it...still there are times i get on her nerves and she snaps....and then I start wondering why I do things that I do and why I can not help it....Of all the people...she is the one I do not want to annoy the most.

I think I just discovered a new venture...shall we begin a business that focuses on informative t-shirts? "Don't hate me because I'm bipolar...I was just born this way"..."If I said I had ADHD would you hold it against me?"..."This is depression :(, this is manic depression :dizzy:...any questions?" I think I finally found my calling...or am I just being a smart-aleck?

No No.....Heh I would help sell the T-Shirts!!

I'm half tempted to do it...lol

If the truth needs to be told...only way it would be done if just do it hehe.

I'm feeling inspired...

Confusious say.."Get off butt and just do it" LOL JK

Can i just curl up next to you twoo and feel the warmth?

Careful...I'm from New Orleans,,,bring Sun Screen:p