<SIGH> Our 9 yr old was dx about two months ago adhd. Now we have just started taking our 14(soon to be 15 yr old ) to a psychologist. He has been extremely defiant in school and at home recently. He is always getting in trouble at school for his mouth. He always has to have the last word and cant just drop it. A few years back and as recent as 6 months ago he had been stealing money from us and his little brothers. The first time we talked to him and grounded him. The second time I spoke to someone who told me that it was normal for some boys to go through a stealing phase and that my son needed to see me hurt over it. So I worked up some tears (as angry as I was) and explained to him how hard I worked for that money. The third time I blew my top and told him that it needed to stop and that we would not have a thief living in our house. It has not stopped. He will take little things..like Dads good t-shirts and other clothes that belong to Dad. We have told him that if he just asks it wouldn't be a problem. He seems VERY impulsive!! We asked him WHY he does this. His reply is because I wanted them. We in return told him that the Jails are full of people who would give the exact same reply.
I do not know where we went wrong with Nathan. He so smart and extemely talented athletically. However he always seems to shot himself in the foot. If we dont let him do something or he gets grounded he will just run his mouth and antaginize (sp?) us to death (mostly mom). He is also mean to his brothers to the point that when he is in one of his "moods" I dont trust him alone with them in the same room. He can NEVER take any kind of responsiblity for his actions. I dont know what is going on with my child. I refuse to believe that he is a "bad" kid. I dont believe there is any such thing. He lives in a normal home with no drugs,alcohol,or abuse. We drag him to church twice a week and he does have decent friends. I am sure that there are some factors that may explain some of his anger however,at times he seems to know what buttons to push to take the heat off himself in order to pass the buck. I am sure we will get to the bottom of this with the psychologist but it just leaves me wondering......

I feel for you. You do seem to have your hands full right now. I think you have made the first important step in getting him to see someone. He does need some help. It doesn't seem like normal teenage rebellion stuff. Seems like it might be more serious than that. Something is definitely bothering him and finding out what it is and how to help him. Wish I had some good ideas for you. But most important is that you care and will be there to support him. God Bless you and good luck.

Tonya,
It does not sound like a phase to me.
Your best bet is to let him talk to the psychologist & get to the "root" of the problem. It could possibly be for attention.
Good luck & please keep us posted.

Yep he is really pushing for something.
I am not saying this has anything to do with the problems,
but how big of a fight does he put up going to church, does he participate? And if not why do you make him?
Has he always been a hard child to raise?
I am curious as my son has been difficult lately. He is only 8 though. Hasn't been stealing yet. I went through a major stealing phase in my teen years. I recovered. Actually it started at 5 yrs old. I didn't have much supervision.
My son will push and push as you described if I give him time out. He has even climbed out his window to prove he can't be kept.

Jellybean,
No he has not always been a difficult child. He was always a very happy smart kid with a great sense of humor. And we have always gone to church. We believe that it is our responsiblity as parents to introduce religion to our children...later after they move out of our house they can make the decision on whether or not to continue.
Thank you everyone for your support and I will keep you undated.Its nice to have people to listen and give feed-back.