My psychiatrist recommends (but doesn't insist) on a drug free day per week to give the receptors a break. I thought this sounded like a good idea, but I've only managed it once since I started taking Dexedrine two months ago. My drug free day was so awful that I don't want to repeat it. I had started designing my garden and felt highly motivated and creative, but on my drug free day I lost all of my confidence. I also suffer from Attachment Issues, and was pleasantly surprised to be happy doing things on my own in an adult way when taking Dex. On my drug free day all of that disappeared, and I wanted my husband to stay with me all day like a baby wants its mother. I couldn't settle the whole day, I experienced my ADHD at its full blown worst and felt depressed at this realisation of 'the real me'. I also (quite understandably) found myself arguing with my husband. Since then, I've not had a day without Dexedrine but I'm concerned about not following my psychiatrists advice. I'm also concerned about confiding in my psychiatrist about this in case he thinks I'm addicted - which, perhaps I am given that I don't want to be without them because they enable me to become a person I can't be naturally (i.e. one that can manage their emotions).

If every drug free day is going to be like that, and I had this weekly, my life would feel too up and down and it could become destructive to my relationship with my husband because we've had a lot of stress to deal with over the past couple of years. On the other hand, perhaps my psychiatrist wouldn't suggest this if he knew the effects it has one me (he's new to me and not the person who diagnosed me) and so I should talk to him?

I've no experience of being around people who are addicted to speed recreationally, so I can't compare myself to them to rule out addiction. I don't feel euphoric when I take Dex, nor do I feel the need to take more and more of it. My concentration levels are superb, my motivation is high and my moods are relatively stable - that's how it should be, right?

I just wondered if anyone else had similar experiences?

Thanks for postin Stace
you are definetaly not alone,in those feelings when dex free had my first drug free day today after bein prescribed a few weeks back.(best thing ever)
and man it was the worst!!!!!!!!
Felt frustrated, hate filled ,iritable, hyper focused,edgy and alert like a hunter, having a laggy brain and could not keep up with anything. Whilst failing misserably at my hobbies infront of peers who i usually impress and feeling great shame and disapointment. Just overwhelmed by everything.

Like you i never feel euphoric of dex,and avoid anything asociated or to do with drug abuse. Just feel capable and calm, like a functioning person. Like i should.

Are you taking Barr's generic IR? Spanules? Or other? And at what dosage?

Hi Stace,

I can totally relate to your predicament - I feel almost exactly like you describe when I go a day without my dexedrine. I'm miserable and mopey, my emotions swing wildly from one moment to the next, I seek out my husband and am really clingy not wanting him to leave my side, yet am snippy and critical of him at the same time (which is normally quite rare outside of bad PMS days). I lose all confidence and ability to concentrate (even on things that normally only bring me joy, like gardening), leaving me even more frustrated and miserable. On these med-free days I feel like the life has been totally sucked out of me.

I understand your concern in not following your psychiatrists suggestions to the T - my psychiatrist told me early on that the dexedrine should not be an everyday thing but only when I sit down to work (which has always frustrated me as he knows I'm a postgraduate student who doesn't really have weekends "off" from my studies). The best I have been able to do with any regularity is to follow the spirit rather than the letter of his suggestions and only taking one dose of the dexedrine daily. I'm not sure if this really helps give the receptors a break, but it helps assuage a fair bit of guilt on my end (I can't be the only one who feels guilt about taking add meds, even though they are medically warranted and not abused). The only other thing I have found is to schedule a drug-free day when you are not on your normal schedule - when you're on holiday, spending a Saturday afternoon shopping, meeting friends for a drink in the evening - when there is something to disrupt your normal routine, and stimulate you in a totally different way (although I can't say shopping is much fun for me when I don't take my meds, as I tend to totally freak out with all the people and array of choices).

Still, I'd recommend telling your doctor all the concerns you expressed here - I doubt s/he will think you are an addict and take away the dexedrine, but the fuller picture might enable s/he to treat you more fully and/or also refer you to a good therapist to whom you can talk about your feelings of attachment to your husband. (You can get counselors/therapists on the NHS these days, right?)

Good luck and keep us posted.

I take 45mg per day, Three short acting 5mg tablets three times a day. No side effects whatsoever apart from a dry mouth that seems to have subsided - which brings me to another thought I have regarding taking drug free days once a week; namely that if you keep stopping and starting, you don't give your body enough consistency to adjust small but irritating side effects.

I'm not against drug free days. Initially, I wasn't against taking them once a week, but now that I'm managing my life in a whole new way, it doesn't feel right.

Life has been quite turbulent recently though. We moved house in January, and then had to move our business at very short notice in February. We're having a lot of modifications done to our home, and that is stressful. On top of that, I lost a job that was important to me last month through no fault of my own.

It might be easier if I wait for everything to settle a bit before considering how I do this. I'm not sure about the once a week thing though, even then. Equally, I don't feel right about taking Dexedrine none stop ad infinitum. But (a part of me argues) I'm a 40 year old. Not a 14 year old. I've lived half my life with no medication or help with ADHD and it's nearly ruined me more than once. There are some 14 year olds (this part of me like the Devil on my shoulder continues) already taking Adderall/Dex and their still developing brains are far more vulnerable and plastic than mine and they take these drugs for years with no ill effects. I look at the tablets, feel guilty for another week having gone without my keeping to this agreement, and ask myself if I can handle going back to having the effect regulation of a two year old. God no! I don't want another minute of it - particularly not with the new workplace/builders to deal with/gardening to do/meeting to go to. And the weather is horrible, which always brings me down anyway...

There's always excuses. Or are they reasons? :-s

I'm not seeing the Psychiatrist who diagnosed me, and I'm also wondering if this is a mistake. The Psychiatrist who diagnosed me thought me amongst the most severe cases of ADHD he had ever treated and he prescribed Adderall.

Adderall (XR - and he wasn't into drug free days at all) worked just fine, but because I'm in the UK I can only get it off label, and boy is it expensive. Add the cost of meds to the cost of consultations and I'm paying out the equivalent of the average monthly mortgage repayment. I got angry about it. Irrationally, I blamed the Psychiatrist and told his secretary that he's on another planet. There's a recession FFS! I'd explained at the outset that I'm not rich!

So (indignant and cross) I went elsewhere, initially with the intention of getting Ritalin on the NHS, but it didn't suit me and Dexedrine does. I can also get Dex on the NHS. So to be fair to the new Psychiatrist, he doesn't know how bad I was. If he did perhaps he'd be thinking differently.

We're in the dark ages with ADHD in the UK. My husband and his brother used to do speed years before I met him and he assures me that it 'seems to have the opposite effect' on me. I've asked three medical professionals what would happen to non ADHD people if they took Dexedrine, and their answer? A ubiquitous 'they go wheeeeee' along with a twirly gesture of the hand from the head upwards. Seriously. Past Psych, present Psych and GP said and did exactly that. Exasperated when asked to clarify, husband goes on about Quadrophenia.

Maybe I'm worrying too much. But then if you tell a 40 year old they have ADHD and that a drug they've always had strong negative feelings about is what they need in life they're going to wonder who's having the last laugh and where.

It's tricky.

in any event, you seem to be a very competent judge of what is best for YOU. yes, what you are describing is exactly what the drug should be therapuetically providing for you.

however, the fact that you cannot take a drug free day means that you ARE dependent on the drug. i do understand that your symptoms can be as severe as you emphasize, and therefore again i would just like to say again that i really do believe that you, yourself, can judge if your body can handle being on dex continuously without drug holidays.

bnxy hits a extremely good point -- which is to just take dex once a day or only twice *if you can manage to*. this can be great compromise because obviously some days are busier than others, and thus you might not need to take your highest prescribed dosage every single day.

Gosh I'd missed bnxy's post - I do apologise. This isn't my ADHD but rather the fault of the tiny screen on the Powerbook I use sometimes.

45mg wasn't the highest prescribed dose. It was where I stopped the dose increase trial because I got the willies. I was supposed to carry on increasing by 1/2 tab, three times a day until I felt agitated and then drop one back - the theory being that one dose beneath your agitation level is your optimum dose. Accidentally I took six tablets one evening - easily done when you take so many - and it felt like I had taken a tranquiliser. Could I really take 18 of these tablets per day and still not reach my agitation level? I wasn't sure that I wanted to know. If 18 tablets were the right dose, would I take them and feel in any way comfortable? No, no I wouldn't. What if 27 tablets in a day still didn't make me agitated? Eeek! I came onto the forums and had a look at what most people thought normal and decided that I need more time to come to terms with my diagnosis (made only last December) and the theory behind taking stimulants. So I asked the poor Psychiatrist (see, I'm feeling sorry for him now) if I could set the dose at 45mg for now. Maybe I'll have another go at the increase trial when I'm less suspicious of the whole thing.

Perhaps it's the lack of side effects that spooking me because I'm yet to find out the cost of this seemingly excellent and suitable drug. Adderall made my heart pound and caused insomnia so I had no difficulty whatsoever giving myself a break (for two/three days) much to Psych no.1's chagrin. I'm not fumbling for the Dexedrine the minute I wake in the morning and I put off picking up my repeat prescription yesterday because of parking difficulties. This is not the behaviour of an addict, is it? How would the drug industry fare if addicts prioritised a legal parking space above their next fix? 'I don't get addicted to stuff.' I boasted to Psych no.1 in the first consultation. This was based on precisely this logic plus my history of taking up (and abandoning) cigarettes, skunk and DF118. I smoked for years then I changed my mind and I stopped doing it. I don't understand the issues. I meet people who tell me that they can't stop eating chocolate and sweets. They get up in the night and binge. I know one person whose children go around the local sweet shops and beg the people who work there not to sell the stuff to their Dad because they're frightened that it's going to kill him. Meanwhile their Dad is masterminding another secret stash in the garden shed. I feel like I belong to a completely different species to this man. I have always felt that I have a 'hardware' problem (brain damage perhaps) as opposed to a 'software' problem (depression) so I diagnosed myself as someone who doesn't get addicted to stuff.

In my boast to Psych no.1, and as final proof, I told him about the valium I had been prescribed since I was 13 that I wasn't addicted to. Sometimes I took 10mgs, sometimes 2mgs, sometimes none at all...yak, yak yak...I had no clue that addiction could be purely physical. I was furious. I had been too arrogant to believe the warnings (although to be fair it wasn't my GP who was warning me) and I now had a problem to solve. Psych no.1 was adamant that I should not stop taking valium. 'You've taken it your whole life...you could have convulsions...' I was adamant that I should. Going completely against his advice I went onto the internet, found Professor Heather Ashton's site and followed her decrease and stop program. Again, I had no psychological issues with just stopping, but I had to respect the possible impact on my body. I stopped Valium at the end of January and haven't thought about it since.

So where does my intellectualising of addiction get me? What is addiction? At one level we're all addicted to millions of things. At the moment I'm addicted to The Wire, for example. My dentist is probably the most intelligent medical professional I see. He didn't say outright, but I think his wife was diagnosed with ADHD and they refused medication because of fear of addiction. He told me that it was supposed to be the case that if you have ADHD you do not get addicted to these drugs. ADHD is a neuro-biological condition, and I know I have a different brain chemistry to many other people - particularly when it comes to drugs. For so many years I have been given so many different anti-depressants to try and my reaction to them all is severe. I was given Prozac in the late 80's and I took five overdoses. I wasn't even depressed - at the time I felt compelled. I took a 'natural' prozac once and stepped out in front of a bus. Again I was experiencing no depression. I was walking down the street to buy something when suddenly I thought 'I can make this look like an accident'. I saw the bus approaching from behind in the mirror windows of the offices across the street and out I stepped - but a hand caught my arm and a man pulled me out of danger.

I told the story to my then therapist, who told me of recent research. SSRI's are dangerous to some people because they make them overdose on Seratonin and this is what causes this behaviour. Apparently.

That therapist is one of those who thinks all drugs are bad. They quite possibly are. Alcohol is the most horrible drug I can think of. Alcohol can cause the most severe mood swings in the most level headed of people. It can cause psychopathic rages and its victims are more or less kicked out of society. They smell. They shake. The pee themselves. We laugh at them. They crouch on The Embankment, nowhere to sleep, no one to hold; crying and muttering nonsense until they finally die. Yet once they were egged on 'one for the road then?' 'Gowan mate, it's Christmas/New Year/Your birthday/my birthday/his and hers anniversary/your graduation/you've passed your driving test/you're now 16, 21, 30/it's Friday night/it's Saturday night/it's first thing Monday morning...Oh.'

Going back to bxny's post - I like the logic that 24 hours can lapse from any point. Yes, why not take (say) three tablets of a morning and not bother until the next day? If receptors need to rest for 24 hours, does it matter where these 24 hours fall? I wonder if that really is the spirit of it though. If the spirit is the hard fact that I need to rest my receptors for an entire 24 hours per week, then yes, this is a very good solution. If the spirit is to monitor how I cope with life for a normal day (which for me has not routine really) so that I remain aware of comparison, then no, it isn't a solution, but I don't need to see that comparison yet thank you very much, so it's okay.

I don't feel I can judge anything at all, demitriden. I wonder if any of us can.

I need a cup of tea :)

ADHD doesn't go away one day a week and while i have absolutely nothing against the "med vacations" or whatever one terms them, the idea that since one doesn't take them they are "dependent" is asinine.

Being on these meds for years, and never missing a day, the therapeutic benefit is very consistent and taking my medication is routine.

To the OP, don't feel guilty or feel like your doing something wrong if you decide to take your meds everyday. Good luck