Marspider
04-24-09, 08:57 PM
Okay, maybe not change.
Let me explain. Due to a very traumatic experience a few years ago, I had intense chronic depression for a while. About 7 years actually. I was already depressed (you know issues with undiagnosed ADHD, troubles with studying, feeling like a failure, the usual) and then bam the experience was the straw that broke this camel's back. Became suicidal which changed into intense apathy and deadening of emotions. I was on fluoxetine and sertraline, that didn't work. then moved onto the combined norepinephrine and serotonin, Effexor, I was not just apathetic at this time. I was feeling intense rage as well. Apathy and fuming rage, ugh! The Effexor actually worked but it turned me into a zombie and did the brain screwing up. If you have ever been on Effexor, you know what I'm talking about. I'm not totally dissing it cause it did help me.
Anyway, so I was emotionally blank for a long time. I got my diagnosis of predominantly inattentive ADHD, I wasn't very hyperactive, occasionally impulsive with my shopping but me and my therapist firmly believed I was inattentive.
I was put on Reboxetine which is similar to Strattera but not quite. I changed my life, moved countries, and overall was feeling hopeful for the first time in years. I was starting to feel happy which was a very strange sensation for me.
Then I started becoming more hyperactive and impulsive! Really impulsive for me anyway, I was making instant decisions when I'm a ditherer and put things off. It was very scary for me.
My theory is that my depression, I guess it was a bit of post traumatic disorder, made me shut down my emotions and when I was happier, the latent hyperactivity started to come out and I couldn't control it by tuning out.
Is this POSSIBLE?
Let me explain. Due to a very traumatic experience a few years ago, I had intense chronic depression for a while. About 7 years actually. I was already depressed (you know issues with undiagnosed ADHD, troubles with studying, feeling like a failure, the usual) and then bam the experience was the straw that broke this camel's back. Became suicidal which changed into intense apathy and deadening of emotions. I was on fluoxetine and sertraline, that didn't work. then moved onto the combined norepinephrine and serotonin, Effexor, I was not just apathetic at this time. I was feeling intense rage as well. Apathy and fuming rage, ugh! The Effexor actually worked but it turned me into a zombie and did the brain screwing up. If you have ever been on Effexor, you know what I'm talking about. I'm not totally dissing it cause it did help me.
Anyway, so I was emotionally blank for a long time. I got my diagnosis of predominantly inattentive ADHD, I wasn't very hyperactive, occasionally impulsive with my shopping but me and my therapist firmly believed I was inattentive.
I was put on Reboxetine which is similar to Strattera but not quite. I changed my life, moved countries, and overall was feeling hopeful for the first time in years. I was starting to feel happy which was a very strange sensation for me.
Then I started becoming more hyperactive and impulsive! Really impulsive for me anyway, I was making instant decisions when I'm a ditherer and put things off. It was very scary for me.
My theory is that my depression, I guess it was a bit of post traumatic disorder, made me shut down my emotions and when I was happier, the latent hyperactivity started to come out and I couldn't control it by tuning out.
Is this POSSIBLE?