View Full Version : My story


Horiz
05-01-09, 05:52 PM
Hi all, first post. I first discovered about ADD/ADHD about 2-3 years ago (I'm 21 now) and let me tell ya, it's been disappointment after disappointment. I've seen three or four seperate NHS appointed psychiatrists, the very first one I seen I immediately liked. She had a friendly attitude, genuinely wanted to help me!

So I asked her if I could be tested for ADD (I'm quite clearly not hyperactive, more hypoactive :p) and the first couple of sessions were a complete let down (it was somewhat my mother's fault, she was brought into one of the sessions and asked about my past, school life etc and my mum ****ed it all up, saying she never noticed any symptoms like that resemble ADD, didn't recall any report cards being anything or any teachers saying a thing (I went to very ****ty primary schools, and secondary for that matter).

But anyway, after about half a year (yeah, half a ****ing year!) she was finally starting to believe me, because I was so adamant that I displayed the symptoms so profoundly I found it astonishing I wasn't diagnosed the first time I ever seen even a GP! Anyway, she finally prescribed me about 3 months worth of "Strattera" (Atomoxetine) and promised she would consult with people more specialized and get me a formal test.

If you're not familiar with Strattera, basically, it was a drug originally designed as an SNRI (correct me if I'm wrong), designed as an anti-depressant by a company called Eli Lilly. During the clinical trials, they found it had no use for depression or anxiety at all, so instead of just throwing it out, they slapped a sticker saying "for ADHD" on it and just sold it on as that, despite it helping pretty much no-one who's ever been prescribed it.

Anyway, I was as happy as could be, she was finally taking me seriously, had actually promised a test AND given me some medication (albeit useless, worse than useless actually). Then the **** hit the fan, she left the practice (haven't been able to track her down since, her name is Dr Zholia Alemi, so if anyone has really good Google skills could track her down, that would be IMMENSELY helpful) and I was appointed a new psych.

Not too bad I thought, it's still good, I was half diagnosed as far as I was concerned. So 5 minutes into the session with the new psych and all hope was gone, she disagreed about the ADD in adults and told me that there is absolutely no test for it. Again, because I'm not vibrating in my chair, breaking things and interrupting her (because I don't have the hyperactivity part) she said "you display no symptoms of ADD whatsoever".

That was at least 5 months ago I believe, I've recently seen another NHS psych (it was an emergency appointment my mum arranged, it was like next day service, no 3 months of waiting!) and again, within 5 minutes (the guy was old school, he told me during the session that just last week he learned how to turn on a PC and send an email without needing help!) he'd shot me down. Obviously in a depressive state by now, I disengaged from the session and basically ignored him as he gave me a diagnosis of clinical depression, anxiety and kept trying to shove SSRI's down my throat.

I was advised by a friend in London who I met on a well known drugs forum to seek private psychiatry (he recommended the Priory too, there's one in Glasgow) however, it seems (and I checked another couple of private places within a few hours drive of me) that I literally cannot get seen without paying at LEAST Ģ200 an hour.

I can't get a job atm with this recession, my parents can't foot the bill either. What the **** should I do?

I recently (today infact) found a group called ADD it Up in my area who I've tried contacting but both the "office" phone and the mobile weren't picked up, so I'll just leave them my name and number.

Other than hoping this support group can finally point me in a useable direction, is there actually anything else I can do?

Should I mention I self medicate? Self harm? I've done both and continue to self medicate (although, not with anything that helps with ADD symptoms) or will I come across as a mental depressive drug seeking gimp?


Sorry about such a long post guys, but it REALLY feels good to get all of that off of my chest and out in the open, so if you read it all, I truely thank you for listening to my rant.

Emjay
05-14-09, 03:00 PM
Hey, I read your story.
Hang in there.
I have been told by a Psychologist (expert in what i wonder? certainly not ADHD) that I do not have ADD.
However I strongly feel that i do, especially after reading some posts on the innatentative forum!
There is nothing more upsetting and depressing than them doing this to you.
As they are often the ones the don't have a clue, there is no exscuse for this, and one day they might just tip someone over the edge.
The Psychologist I saw, said things that clearly told me they did not know enough.
Were they specialised/experts or well trained in ADHD?
See if you can get another referral from GP to ADHD friendly Psychiatrist to get another opinion.
Sorry if this all blatantly obvious to you!
You probably know more than me as I really don't know what to do myself now either :( :( :(
Anyways just to let you know that I read your post X

ADHD Hunter
05-14-09, 03:24 PM
Hello Horiz -

I am sorry you are going through this. It's bad enough dealing with ADD/ADHD, without having the kind of extra challenge you are facing.

In your post you indicated that you "self harm". I haven't heard too many people on here talking about that and haven't been there myself. What's going on with that? Why? Sounds like there may be more going on for you.

- Chris

olavia
05-14-09, 05:15 PM
Hi, sorry to hear all this. Donīt give up. I went to several psychiatrists and psychologists who said that it is impossible that I have ADD (predominantly inattentive). Took me several years to master up the courage to go against everything I had heard, and finally got diagnosed.

Iīd advice you to educate yourself about this as much as possible. Itīs a very good idea to seek support from an ADD group. You are afraid to be seen as a depressed medication seeking guy. It IS depressing, very much so, to have invisible ADD and not be believed, not even in the psychs office. ADDers understand that and will support you.
Good luck!