Alright. I realize that those with A.D.D struggle socially. Boy are they right. I have been confined to being shy and I cannot seem to break out. Oh well. Yes, point and laugh at me. I was the one in middle school and high school on prom night or school dances who stayed home drinking Mountain Dew, eating doritos, playing Super NES, and watching Aliens, Terminator 2 and other Sci-Fi movies while others were out and about. I guess its not a bad thing. I am not missing much. Based on what I have seen I am grateful i choose that path.

I have seen alot of my friends get involved in relationships with girls and the majority of them look scary. In fact they looks so scary it makes me want to stay and enjoy being single. At this point in my life i am grateful to be single. I have seen my friends devote thier whole life to being with someone else. I have seen my friend confined to a dorm almost at every hour of the day for fear his long distance significant other will call him about some crisis shes having. If hes not there, she will go crazy and hang up on him and get upset. She uses him. They both are miles apart. This causes strain for him.

I had one friend who i roomed with in college who would later leave college and throw it all away so he could be home with a girl. What followed later was him becoming a junkie and working a dead end job. He still had a girl, actually many of them who came and went.

Based on my observations, If this is what relationships are all about with thier tradgic effects is it valid to say that I should be very afraid to get into a relationship with a woman? This kinda stuff has almost tramatized me. It makes me not want to get to know someone and be with.

I know what you will probably say, "Oh you have not found the right one." You are right. I have not found the right one at all. Most either have screwed up priorities, i cannot seem to get lucky or I am just too picky.

Things do get better. Hopefully. Now I know I have brought this topic up in the YAHOO ADD Chatroom and I have been ridiculed for this. Me being single and all and not getting around. People make the statement by saying stuff like, "ADMIT IT YOU ARE A LOSER, A MANIC LOSER WHO WILL NEVER GET A JOB, NEVER GET LAID AND NEVER MAKE IT" (Who does this sound like?). Thats right all those doubters who look down upon me. Theres some people who think I am hopeless. They always will and i will prove them wrong. They can..... WHOOPS, I better not say it here. I want keep my membership here.

Tonight I am here to say, I am tired of being walked on. I am tired of being someones door mat. I do know one thing about a relationship. I want to be respected as a person and not be used as someones own personal door mat. Thats the woman I want. One who can except me for who I am and know my limitations and not push them to the limits.

Just venting. You can reply if you want. I am an open book. I welcome any comments or suggestions. Positive or negative.

Good for you, Cris!

There are many reasons people seek out relationships, and alot of them are not healthy ones! Especially in college, when kids are away from the support structure of home, people will seek out a significant other to (subconsciously) stand in for a parent, or to make up for another insecurity.

For many people, college will be the first time they have lived away from home in a while, and as you know, college life can have a significant impact on your social well being. In fact, for many kids, college is the first time that they have gone out drinking, partied all nite, been unsupervised by adults, had wanton sex, etc. Many kids also get sucked into the college 'lifestyle", and while they may have been decent students before college, their grades may slip or plummet unless they can refocus on school work and find a balance in their social life.

Based on the experiences you've had with your friends and their relationships, it sure sounds like you were the smart one, cris.

Stay the course, do what you want to do, follow your dreams. Life is short, live it to its fullest potential every day. If and when you decide that you want a significant other in your life, I'm sure you'll be able to tackle that challenge too. :)

Cris that was an awesome post. Im really glad you joined us here. Thanks for your blatant honesty We love ya.

Yea you didn't miss much in high school, and i think everyone wants someone who will accept them for who they are and not take over there life. and if someone else has nothing better to do than ridicule u then who's the really pathetic one?

But. it also sounds like u might be runni'n away from stuff. I mean come on unless ur A-sexual or something then u can't deny u need someone and scrambled porn aint gonna do it forever..Plus if u just sit at home and watch sci fi and eat doritos the rest of ur life u might realize one day that u wasted ur youth away and could end up being lonely

Deviate, I do not feel like I am running away from this. I feel like I am keeping things simple. I do have this urge to one day be with someone. I really do, but I can stand to be single for the time being. Yes the scrambled porn and 5 month old Maxium magazines get old. Something needs to happen. So far I have taken the first step and have been socializing more with the people I work with and even go out with them after work. I realize I cannot be lonely all the time. However I am finding solitiude is not such a bad thing. But at the same time it does get old at times.

I simply do not know how to socialize. I don't drink anymore, so that cushion is out. I am so on and off, that I am afraid people won't really like me. I don't know how to relate on the outside, but I can read and relate to just about anyone internally. I sometimes make people uncomfortable because I am so sensitive to what they are feeling at any moment and will comment on it, not realizing that it might be a touchy subject or something. I am also very introverted and need a lot of time to be left alone......the phone ringing all the time bothers me, I can't stand it when people just drop in without calling. The few people I've let in....I just don't know how they got there, and I don't know how to let anyone else in. Now that I live 350 miles away from everyone I know, I have made virtually no friends over the past 3 years.

Chris, if you find and answer, let me know:)