View Full Version : Letter to the me when first developing an eating disorder... *trig, but somehow posit


sarey
05-13-09, 10:17 PM
Dear Sarah,

I am from the future. The future of which I am now having to battle against one of the hardest things I'll ever face in life. A constant battle. One that I may have to fight for the rest of my life. It's against bulimia and anorexia. I'm sure you know what they are, what they can do, that's right... what they can do. They are a disease. A deadly one at that. It will destroy you. It will strip you of your entire life. Do you want that? No. You don't. But, you probably are thinking "it won't happen to me", and you think you'll be able to control it, that you'll be okay, you'll be fine... You're wrong. It will take complete control of you. You will be at the feet of a disorder that can and will kill you any chance it gets.

You do not want to make yourself sick. You do not want to binge until you feel sick. You do not want to starve until you're so dizzy and weak you can hardly stand. You do not want to take laxatives. You do not want to exercise until you can hardly breathe, sweating, and feel so faint. You need to stop, and listen to me.

What good will it do? Purging, you can die everytime you do it. You will strain your heart. You will develop acid reflux disease. You will weaken your muscles. You will burst blood vessels. You will suffer severe consequences. Starving? Do you want cramps so painful you clench your eyes so tightly shut you want to scream in agony because it hurts so much? Do you want to feel so faint, so dizzy, so ill, have your heart race, when all you're doing is standing up, walking? That's because your brain is starved of nutrients, your heart is starved too. Your body is being starved of food, the thing is needs to survive... You don't want to die, You want to live... You're just struggling, and this is not the way to go about it.

You will end up worse than when you started, because you have another disorder ontop of everything else. You don't need that. You don't need any of that. This disorder will twist, and turn, and devour your soul. It will poison it. It will taunt you constantly. It will always be there. Haunting you. The thoughts are endless, destroying. The feelings are hell... lonliness, frustration, confusion, you will feel so much because you will feel so lost and so alone with it. You'll feel like the whole world is against you. Like no one cares, no one loves you, no one can save you...

You can. Right now. Save yourself. Do not go down this path. Get help, speak out... before it's too late...

It's not worth it. It's not worth your life. None of this is. All it will do, is add to the agony, the suffering, the difficulties in life... you've experienced more evil in this world than good... and you feel alone already... you feel mad at this world... you feel desperate for someone to come and save you... you feel lost... you feel hurt... abandoned... so much, but the eating disorder will only grow those feelings, distort your mind, and steal your life from you...

Please, get help for it. Tell mum, tell Belinder, tell the psychologist, tell the social worker, tell someone... Get help... You need to get help... You'll regret it. I know you will. Because I do. I wish I could have reached out, and you can... you just need that push... that confidence... and here it is...

Tell someone, and life could be so much better than it is, than it could be...

From,
Sarah.
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Infinity
06-04-09, 01:31 PM
Dear Sarah,

I am from the future. The future of which I am now having to battle against one of the hardest things I'll ever face in life. A constant battle. One that I may have to fight for the rest of my life. It's against bulimia and anorexia. I'm sure you know what they are,

**********************

Please, get help for it. Tell mum, tell Belinder, tell the psychologist, tell the social worker, tell someone... Get help... You need to get help... You'll regret it. I know you will. Because I do. I wish I could have reached out, and you can... you just need that push... that confidence... and here it is...

Tell someone, and life could be so much better than it is, than it could be...

From,
Sarah.
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Hi Sarey,


I saw this here the day you posted it . Ad heres what went through my mind.

*******

This is from Sarey's Sister . she struggles too and wants to warn her not to go down the same path but shes not telling her"how" she can do that. Just to tell Mom and Belinder and tell her therapist.How frustrating that must be.yet she does care.

I was wondering whatwas triggering for you about the letter .


that is what first went through my mind.

Now on second read Im wondering If you wrote this.


Or maybe its a form letter someone else composed and you can fill in the names .

Because I see its a letter written to ones self . From someone who cares and knows. what an eating disorder will do .

I belive you are both right now. And most of those with an ed are at various stages of recovery .there is great relief available and the struggles lessen as one has more sucessful recovery. The victories come with much hardwork. The harder one falls the more desparate and serious one becomes.

Take care,

Infinity~

sarey
06-04-09, 01:39 PM
This is a letter I'm writing based on what I'd tell myself when my ED first began to develop. I'm now 16 and strugglin with both Anorexia and Bulimia.

Infinity
06-04-09, 02:56 PM
This is a letter I'm writing based on what I'd tell myself when my ED first began to develop. I'm now 16 and strugglin with both Anorexia and Bulimia.


It's very strong, and well written Sarey. it takes that caring and intensity to fight.

it might be nice, to have such a sister. untill we do we are own .

I had a friend once who wrote me a letter very much like yours. Only it was geared toward telling me not to let others who made fun of me tea me down . We were both Bullied In grade school. She Had carrot redhair lots Of freckles and was the smartest person in the class and Funny,

She was wicked funny. Last I heard she became an drug addict. I wish I still had that letter.

Thanks for sharing it.

Keep writting and drawing. ;)

Infinity~

sarey
06-04-09, 03:03 PM
Wait, whos' my sister?

Infinity
06-05-09, 01:20 AM
Wait, whos' my sister?



heres a fine example of how my ADHD makes it hard to follow me Sarey.

when i used te word "sister" I was refering back to my first guess that this letter you wrote was possibly from a sister of yours to you.

when you said it was you that wrote it that meant it was not from a sister .

I was just refelecting on how nice it would be to have a "sister " who suffered and cared about you . like the sister I thought wrote the letter to you but didn't because it was you.

I have had a few friends that have been Like sisters to me growing up . I have never had a sister of my own. Im using the word "sister as a metephor ..

so when I said .


it might be nice, to have such a sister. untill we do we are own


I was saying untill one has a sister like the one I first imagined who wrote your letter you / we will have to be our own.

which is in fact what your doing . your being your own support ,

one could insert the word "mother " as well of father .

Hope that helps.

Infinity~

sarey
06-05-09, 06:48 AM
Oh yes that helps a lot!
Sorry to confuse you...

Infinity
06-05-09, 10:29 AM
Oh yes that helps a lot!
Sorry to confuse you...


No appology needed , Your story had an twist in it . Thats what makes it creative . and can be confusing .

I get this becuase i write poems with a twist at the end. Makes for a surprise element.

I think expressing ones self visually can be confusing to others . I spend lots of time apologizing trying to unravel things, and have to explain myself to others . explain the hidden meaning or ommited not apparent meaning.


And I sometimes see things others have said in a different light. ( light as in shade of meaning) I don't mean to confuse others but I do.

Sorry if I confused you in my confusion. :)


Infinity~



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