View Full Version : Please help....does this sound like ADHD?

06-25-09, 07:11 PM
I will try to keep this as brief as possible. ;)
I have 5 children, ages 17, 15, 6, and fraternal twins who will be 4 in August. (chaos is my middle
One of my fraternal twins has Cystic Fibrosis, so I know my time is limited for good solid one on one attention with all the kids. Anyhow, my concern about the ADHD is for the other fraternal twin. These "symptoms" have been ongoing since he became mobile for the most part. I will list some things he has done, and some things we have had to do to accommodate his challenging behavior...

When he was still in a crib, he would flip it on its side and push it around his room to climb to the window.

He has somehow managed to dislodge many closet doors, so we have to use a child lock to lock them together.

He would climb over the baby gates with no problem, so we had to build additions to the gates.

He shredded 2 crib mattresses.

We got him a nice train table for Christmas, and glued the pieces down so they remained stationary; however, within the first hour he had them removed. Within the six months since Christmas, he has not only broken the train track pieces, but broke a drawer and the top pieces off, he flips the table over all the time. The table is now going to have to go to the trash.

He has made so many dents in his wall in his room, that we cannot just paint his room now, we need to replace the drywall.

He has pulled down numerous sets of blinds, and damaged all the rest. These are all new blinds, and we need to replace them all already.

He has managed to break three "child safe Little Tykes" dvd players that are build for toddlers.

He does not seem to be able to have any self control. When we go out, he will pull down racks of items at the stores, he kicked a car with someone in it the other day. He throws things out the window while driving, rips his brand new books, throws his drinks across the room, we cannot let him walk beside us when we go out and we need to hold his hand tight because he will just run out into the street. He is very rough with pets.

He cannot follow directions and seems to almost not hear as we ask him to do something or even call out his name. He will respond at times, I know his hearing is fine, but it's almost like he does not seem to hear.

He will ONLY wear certain clothes, his food has to be "just so" and if it isn't, he won't eat it. If his banana breaks, popsicle breaks, cake falls over, apple isn't cut a certain way etc, he throws it and refuses to eat it. His drinks need to be filled to a specific amount.

He bit a hole in our brand new leather couch.

We still cannot leave doors open, and have to have child proof door knobs on all the doors because he will destroy everything.

Life has become so horribly challenging. I don't know what to do with him, he is such a handful. He starts Kindergarten in a year, and he can't seem to follow instructions. (ie he won't likely realize he HAS to stay sitting).

We have had to add additional locks to our windows, doors, etc. I can't leave him unattended to for a second. If I run upstairs to grab the laundry, I know he will be into something.

He rips the video cases, climbs the railings, I could go on and on.....

At times, he CAN sit by himself and do an entire puzzle, color, etc. He can calm down at times and sit and cuddle. But, it seems he lacks the same amount of emotions as his fraternal twin. I am struggling with daily life, I can't take them out by myself because he will drop to the ground and I can't chase both of them.

HELP! Please! I'm losing my mind! He is a sweet little guy, but I just don't know what is going on with him. I feel lost. I do have an appointment with my family doctor next week to discuss this with her, but thought I'd try to look at possibilities. I thought he was "just being a boy" and would outgrow this, but he is turning 4 years old, and I see no changes yet. :(

Thanks so much for any input! :)


06-25-09, 08:30 PM
I'm not an expert, however, I'm curious... is he learning about his environment or clumsily breaking things without realizing it?

How does he react when it is broken?

How do you react?

Could it be possible that your reaction motivates his experiment again?

When he takes it apart, can he put it back together?

Is he fascinated with taking things apart? If you give him a bucket of blocks what does he do with them?

He sounds like a very smart kiddo.

06-25-09, 09:10 PM
Hmmm, he doesn't react a whole lot when he sees me throwing these things in the garbage. He is very clever. :)

When he breaks things, I generally tell him he has broken the item and it is now garbage. He doesn't seem to care. He will break crayons and later be upset he doesn't have any. But initially, he doesn't care that I am throwing them out.

He can't put most of the things back together, as they are usually garbage. He is sitting down right now building things with Lego. He likes Lego, puzzles, etc. I know it seems his mind is so very busy and he can't keep up to it. However, he doesn't quite understand HOW to react. If that makes sense? He acts first, and doesn't seem to care what he is doing at that point in time. He has knocked racks over at the store, and thinks it is funny. I don't quite understand what is making him tick, and I am trying to understand so I can deal with him appropriately.

He is intentionally breaking these things. He is; however, generally a clumsy little guy, lol, tripping over his little feet. :)

Thanks for your reply!


06-25-09, 09:15 PM
He does sound very smart and inquisitive and possibly adhd. I think you are making the right decision to have him evaluated before he starts school!! Good luck with that little very energetic ball of energy! Memories of my son at that age.. Very bright and very severe adhd. that is not a diagnosis for your son however wont hurt to check it out!


06-25-09, 09:20 PM
Wait till he discovers mountain bikes, roller blades, skate boards etc etc take out extra liability insurance lol. good luck with the eval i think your heading in the right direction

06-25-09, 09:51 PM
My son who is dx with ADD now, used to be very inquisitive. It was best to show no reaction and set limits with consequence. He's also hypersensitive to light, sound, and touch. He could build a tower taller than himself at 2 yrs old very quickly and it used to mystify me. I remember reading Brazelton's research on hypersensitive babies and I thought... that's my child! After reading his book many years ago, it taught me how to detach from his constant inquiring and to teach him how to calm himself down. (He used to get horribly upset and have crying fits over unexpected things ) It's hard to say my now DS16 fits in any particular catagory and seems to have a combination of traits--ADHD, high IQ, hypersensitive, overexcitable.

Kids find the strangest things funny sometimes. I remember once my son cut his own hair and I wanted to show him how horrible it looked. When he saw his reflection in the mirror.... he laughed and thought he did a great job! Ok... scissors disappeared for a couple of years. :p

Would some sort of sports class help with your little guy?

06-26-09, 02:27 AM
Thanks so much for all the responses. That's funny about extra liability insurance. ;). I can only imagine, LOL.

I would love to put him in sports of some sort. I think hubby wants the three young ones in soccer as they are all boys. We just have some medical issues with our son with Cystic Fibrosis. (not to discourage any of them from physical activities, but the one with CF has digestive issues and vomits a lot, and part of that is brought on from running, so until we get control over that part, we are limited. However, that doesn't mean the others can't take something. It's just trying to balance out all the fairness. I wanted to put them in preschool this year to prepare them for Kindergarten, but the virus's are a concern. I honestly don't think the "busy" little guy will adjust well in Kindergarten, which is why I want to figure out what is going on with him. He can't seem to follow directions well at all. I just don't know if this is ADHD, add, or attention deficet. It is just so hard to know what is going to work. He's just such a handful.

I hope to get some answers soon, as in the meantime I'm losing my mind. ;)


06-26-09, 11:05 AM
hang in there mama, its obvious you have your hands full!!


Lady Lark
06-26-09, 11:43 PM
OK, hardly being a medical expert here, but have you looking into Autism? It could be hyperactive ADD, but it sounds like a bit much to me.

I think getting him evaluated is a great idea. I would suggest that you make sure it's a full eval, and not be "certain" it's just one thing. We did that, and wasted a year trying to treat just ADHD, when it was ADHD and Asperger's. Many conditions have similar symptoms, but are caused by different things, so it can be tricky to get the correct diagnosis.

Hang in there., You're not in this boat alone.

06-27-09, 03:48 PM
OK, hardly being a medical expert here, but have you looking into Autism? It could be hyperactive ADD, but it sounds like a bit much to me.

I think getting him evaluated is a great idea. I would suggest that you make sure it's a full eval, and not be "certain" it's just one thing. We did that, and wasted a year trying to treat just ADHD, when it was ADHD and Asperger's. Many conditions have similar symptoms, but are caused by different things, so it can be tricky to get the correct diagnosis.

Hang in there., You're not in this boat alone.

To go somewhat further on Lady Lark's post:

On a evaluation for Autistic spectrum, make sure it is with someone who really knows their stuff. Autism is a very tricky to diagnose especially with the milder levels. The symptoms can be quite subtle.

A quick story illustrating this. I had a child with which I knew I was missing something somehow. The caregiver suggested autism. My reaction was "Well I am not really seeing it but maybe". I referred to a psychologist I knew who had over 20 years of experience working with autism. To be sure of the diagnosis, she sent the kid to an expert to get her diagnosis confirmed. This may give you some idea of how tricky diagnosing autistic spectrum can be.

The point here is that if a parent is going to pursue this, make sure you start with someone who really knows what they are doing. These people can be found but they are not common.

Good luck. It the caregiver that will not give up until the right answer is found that is the single most valuable diagnostic tool.


06-28-09, 12:20 PM
Autism? I haven't really considered that one a whole lot. I will have to look into that as well. Thanks for that info. I am starting with the family doctor, just for a referral to a professional. I can honestly say there is SOMETHING not right with him. We have had to adjust so many things to suit him. Yesterday we had to redo his room, as he broke the ladder and slide on his bunkbed. (it HAD a slide on it). We replaced his blinds again yesterday, but I'm sure it is only a matter of days....

After we put him to bed, he poured his milk all over his toys and down the wall, then he took off his clothes and peed all over the floor. I am not sure what motivates him to do these blows my mind. Sometimes he can be so good, but in all honesty, he does soooo many things with no rhyme or reason...really silly things. He is destructive, but not to be "bad"...I just don't know what makes the little guy tick. :)

Thanks again everyone! I appreciate it!


06-29-09, 02:22 PM
All these individual stories will be helpfull in the diagnosis. That is part of the job of the professional. To make sense of all these behavior stories and come up with an explanation/diagnosis.